The lure
Got infatuated with a girl at work (large company) before I discovered TRP.
We started out as friends, but as time progressed she started flirting with me. I asked her out and she said she was still getting over someone (mutual acquiantence that works with us; she'd been seeing for 3 months), but claimed she was interested in me. She set that hook real well.
The game
A month passes and we begin spending more time together. I'm thinking that since I made my intentions known, she wouldn't be wasting my time like this if it wasn't going to go somewhere.
But a month passes and I raise the topic again. Again, she says she really cares about me; that if only the circumstances were different we could try. But she is scared of getting hurt by someone from work again, because she hates having to see him all over the place as a constant reminder. (Oh, the irony.)
So I swallow my second helping of spoon-fed bullshit with gusto. I tell her I'm going to get a little distance from her to get over my feelings so we can continue to be friends. I really believed that was something you could do.
After a couple weeks, we start hanging out again. She is more reserved, like it was in the beginning. No more physical flirting from her for a couple weeks. Then the behavior comes back in full, and my head goes right back to the clouds.
The breaking point
I finally confess to her that I wasn't over her and really hoped we could try something. She confesses to me that she's been seeing someone the last several weeks but has been keeping it a secret. She tells me that she understands if I need some space, and that she's really sorry.
I snapped and discovered TRP after I found out the guy she was seeing was from work. Despite suddenly being violently thrust into the anger phase, I play it cool, as it's a workplace situation. I tell her that yes, I do think I'll be needing this space after all. Told her "I don't think it's healthy to be spending time with someone I have feelings for."
Which is true. Just knowing you are being affected by infatuation does not allow you to stop the way you feel overnight. It may have been pretty weak to have told her I had feelings for her, but it seemed like the best way to get her to leave me alone without getting dramatic.
Either way, I went hard on Tinder, banged an average chick to get it out of my system and began my monk mode/further engagement with TRP as it was now clear that I needed to change/deprogram.
Confirmation
I stick to my conviction. No contact with her at all. I stopped thinking about her as much, or as frequently, and things were fine.
Two months pass this way without her trying to contact me, until one day I get a hand written note from her saying she missed me and hopes we can hang out again soon.
I'm not falling for that shit again. I ignore it.
Two weeks pass, then one day she comes to my desk and starts chatting. I'm not being very engaging, but she asks if we can talk. So again, this time in person, I give her the same line as before: I don't think it's good for me to hang out with her while I still have feelings for her, so I'd appreciate it if she stopped trying to hang out again.
But is that the end of it? No. The very next week she comes by again! I can tell how bad she wants me to orbit again, but I'm not falling for it. Would still bang her if I got a chance, but I'm under no delusions. I look at her seriously and say "I told you it hurts me to see you while I'm still attracted to you, and we agreed not to hang out. Has something changed?"
She replies "no, I'm just going through some hard times right now and wanted a friend. Sorry, I'll try not to again." Wrong answer sweetie, the only thing that gets me back now is an invitation to play doctor. She slinks away with shame on her face.
Conclusion
I've had to give her 3 warnings, each increasingly more brusque. The solipsism is strong in this one.
She was and is totally willing to trade my happiness for her sadness. If she really cared about me as she claimed, then she wouldn't do something that I repeatedly told her was painful to me. She considered herself entitled to my time and directly violated my requests to leave me alone.
Girls that put you in the friendzone actually care about you in much the same way as they care about a puppy. They like you because you give them constant attention on demand.
[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (2 children) | Copy
[–]lorum_ipsum_dolor292 points293 points294 points (8 children) | Copy
[–]3chazthundergut62 points63 points64 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 42 points43 points44 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]3chazthundergut17 points18 points19 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]3chazthundergut14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]greatslyfer8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Super47_10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]AudioRebellion100 points101 points102 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]3chazthundergut3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]htowntrav33 points34 points35 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]hakubamatata6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]MartinTyler4547 points48 points49 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]LeadVitamin1320 points21 points22 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Adem8710 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]MTNSC1-2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Dmva100 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 34 points35 points36 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro169 points170 points171 points (18 children) | Copy
[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime155 points156 points157 points (9 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 25 points26 points27 points (7 children) | Copy
[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime49 points50 points51 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 23 points24 points25 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]2gudfou1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]epicfadeout10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]RoyalPinecone30 points31 points32 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Aesthetic_God__4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 20 points21 points22 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]AshyLarry2720 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]daymi4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]BillSander5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Mr-Ed20929 points30 points31 points (6 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 15 points16 points17 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]nomansapenguin21 points22 points23 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]captaindestucto2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]nomansapenguin2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]sfdeljknesv11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]col_carillo12 points13 points14 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Redpilledaccordingly4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]captaindestucto0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]A_Bandini0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Pushthepedal36 points37 points38 points (6 children) | Copy
[–]hakubamatata17 points18 points19 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]Pushthepedal8 points9 points10 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]truedemocracy31 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Pushthepedal2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]truedemocracy31 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire210 points11 points12 points (5 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]SpaceEnthusiast2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire20 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire20 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]MetamorphosisSilver5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]SeedThrownAway23 points24 points25 points (9 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (8 children) | Copy
[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor8 points9 points10 points (7 children) | Copy
[–]SeedThrownAway4 points5 points6 points (6 children) | Copy
[–]truedemocracy34 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]SeedThrownAway1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]truedemocracy30 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]geo_gan0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]lilgreg10 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]melungeonmuscle5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]AwkwardEmpath2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]scorpionkg2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]1Ramesses_2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]VicariousWolf2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]VicariousWolf1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Wilmay6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]RoyalPinecone3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]hakubamatata1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]pigeoncalledjeff 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]truedemocracy33 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]mitzibishi 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]geo_gan0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]geo_gan0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]adirp 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy
[–]le_wolfe1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]nofilmynofucky1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]ApexmanRP1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]3chazthundergut3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]3chazthundergut2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]MikeHock-1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]lifegifted1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]ZeroSixNiner1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]truedemocracy35 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]ZeroSixNiner0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]truedemocracy30 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]huge_gap1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]SteveStJohn1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]truedemocracy31 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]StinkyDogFarts1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]-Mavs1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]TheEnglishman280 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]webguy19750 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Gemini_PI0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]iphar0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]redxpills0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Lambdal70 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Canwang 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Canwang 1 points1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Cthula-Hoops0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Cthula-Hoops1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]it_takes_the_redpill[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Cthula-Hoops0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Y34rZer00 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy
[–]hakubamatata1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]thetailbiter0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]bravo69600 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]geo_gan0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]JerryLawlerPigFace0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Carbuncl30 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]yellowboy2120 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]GanksGriefersForFun0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy