Guy bails on marital therapy, gets ripped, starts spending weeknights in New York City for new job, nails young Brazilian and surprise surprise...his marriage gets much much better

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redpillcad
July 2, 2018
933 upvotes
TheRedPill

On Saturday I attended a pre Independence Day BBQ someplace in the suburbs on the Acela line. A friend of a friend was there and looked to me to be doing really really well.

Stylish haircut, fashionable T shirt and shorts that acceuntated his greatly improved physique, and he was going on about a super new job he started 8 months ago.

The whole time, his wife was rubbing his shoulders, sweetly checking in on their kids to make sure they were happy, and getting him and me fresh drinks.

For years I knew they had problems. Arguments, Nagging, and Therapy sums it up. He didn't make enough money to suit her needs and had gotten soft after a so so college hockey background. He used to tell everybody who would listen that he was trying hard to save his family and was depressed etc etc blah blah. He really was afraid to lose her and was absolutely clueless why she was not happy

Later I learned that his wife had found some charges on his Amex from Victoria's Secret and while living alone 3 hours away during the week, he had been hitting gym very hard and taking some admin assistant out to try on clothes and fuck in the dressing rooms at various department stores. Alot.

So....how did she handle it? She told all her friends it was terribly hard to cut him loose now that he looked so good and he was working so hard for the family. Mind you, wifey had a lawyer BEFORE and was seeking a separation agreement but now thatwas off the table and her smile gave away a deeply happy woman who now had what she wanted:

A man that other women want


Post Information
Title Guy bails on marital therapy, gets ripped, starts spending weeknights in New York City for new job, nails young Brazilian and surprise surprise...his marriage gets much much better
Author redpillcad
Upvotes 933
Comments 164
Date 02 July 2018 01:12 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/51176
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/8veos1/guy_bails_on_marital_therapy_gets_ripped_starts/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
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Comments

[–]Nomfwic936 points937 points  (64 children) | Copy

To fix a marriage, you should work on yourself, not on your marriage.

[–]TheRedPillMonkey269 points270 points  (26 children) | Copy

This 100 times over. Decent advice for women too.

[–]hulk_hogans_alt365 points366 points  (24 children) | Copy

Try telling that to a woman lmao.

“IF YOU CANT ACCEPT ME AT MY WORST YOU DONT DESERVE ME AT MY BEST” - her response probably

[–]Boddicker06245 points246 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you accept yourself at your worst you’re garbage.

[–]TheReformist9431 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's the best response I've heard so far.flip it on them,entitled cunts

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her worst: while she's destroying your cellphone WHO THE FUCK IS SARAH???? (Doesn't remember it's your sister)

Her best: I tried to cook spaghetti but I burnt it so now you get to take me out tee-hee

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only way to respond to this is "If you can't accept me at my bulkiest, you don't deserve me at my shreddiest"

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (5 children) | Copy

My crazy ex used to say this... Ugh...

[–]Morphs_74 points75 points  (3 children) | Copy

Girls who say that crap usually are only mediocre at their 'best' so a terrible deal usually.

[–]nester7924 points25 points  (2 children) | Copy

They're usually fat as f--- too.

[–]sadshark27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Then I guess I don't deserve you. Good luck finding someone who does :) "

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I almost wanted to slap you with a 6 meter run-up for saying that, even though you were mocking a woman with it.

Upvoted.

[–]showerdudes9 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Ok its time for a cringe boys. I used this in my blue pill beta days. On facebook. Like those girl status updates they do when they had a fight with their bf, i did it after some bluepill fight with gf. Lol. Kill me

[–]Je_suis_throwy27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

Killing your old self should suffice.

[–]conflagratorX24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

What best? After 24 every single day she is getting worse.

[–]Rian_Stone2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Who gives two sweet fucks over what she hears?

[–]hulk_hogans_alt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. But there’s a certain point where you gotta tell a bitch goodbye and stop telling them to improve. Some chicks, especially in 2018, have no emotional maturity.

[–]1KyfhoMyoba2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's why you don't tell her with words:

Women talk, men do. Demonstrate, don't explicate. Acta, non verba.

[–]RPinthemaking0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I had to hold in a laugh when my ex said this to me.

[–]positiveredpill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I hate when women say this shit. Imagine if a guy said it

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Decent advice for women too.

Fuck that. TRP is about sexual strategy for MEN.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

And the bonus is, if the marriage still fails anyway, you're in good shape for a new relationship.

[–]PR0JECT_XIII6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are not wrong.

A friend of mine is going through a separation. He is trying to pull her into therapy, which her argument is " if it can't be fixed between us, it can't be fixed at all".

Her issue is quite simple: * She wants him to man up and start taking on the role as a man.

I am not sure if she has told that to his face yet, and tbh I would not be surprised if she hadn't. She want him to figure it out.

Word of advice from the sidelines: don't think that you can bring up all the shit you do for her as a reason to solidify your relationship. She does not care.

[–]untetheredbachelor24 points25 points  (17 children) | Copy

I hope TRP is still not advocating marriage in today's climate.

[–][deleted]31 points32 points  (11 children) | Copy

That's the vibe I was getting. The real solution to not having a marriage on the rocks is to never. Get. Married. This guy's marriage was and probably still is on the rocks. He's down to cheat, and women are always down to cheat. So even if he stays in excellent shape and keeps his career strong, now she has all the ammo she'll ever need in the future when she decides to bounce on that one guys cock at the office.

As far as loyalty, women don't care how fit you are. Before she probably would have gone behind OP's back, but now that he got busted having an affair, she'll gladly get revenge when the time is right. She'll probably wait until she knows he doesn't have any prospects, and fuck a Chad and rub his nose in it. My ex wife was a chronic cheater even when I was fucking jacked. AWALT. It's only a matter of time, and it's best to not be legally bound to her when she decides to do it. If you just date (if you even feel the need to that) at least it's just a breakup when it happens instead of a full blown divorce that will likely include a fair amount of cucking and divorce rape. The guy in OP's story won this round, and the marriage back to hanging by a thread because an element of jealousy was introduced. She'll get him to ditch the floozy. And I guarantee after this, she's still pissed deep down, and is currently looking for her next prospect. It'll be someone as good or better looking and equally or more successful than him. This is the exact thing that happened with me and my ex wife. I revenge cheated on her with a smoke show, so she fought tooth and nail to win me back over, and it seemed our marriage was going better than ever, and when I was in a time where I had no prospects, she bailed. This thing isn't over. I guarantee it.

Just say no to the ring.

[–]RedPilledGodEmperor13 points14 points  (7 children) | Copy

My ex wife was a chronic cheater even when I was fucking jacked. AWALT.

It's not always a matter of how good you are or how good the other guy is, all that matters is that the guy is "different"

Same with guys too. Look at Tiger Woods. Was married to a freaking hot Swedish woman and he cheated on her with tons of chicks.

[–]Ivan_The_Reddish8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I mean, Nordegren is decent looking but she isn't a quarter of a billion dollars hot.

[–][deleted]2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Currently my favorite comedian. I love how he just fucking cuts ALL the fucking bullshit whether you like it or not, and just tell it how it is. I've seen that clip you posted like 10 times, and I'm about to watch it for an 11th because it's so funny and so true. The red pill is a jagged one, but I'd rather be unplugged from the matrix, even if that means not everything's unicorns and lollipops.

[–][deleted]11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

Exactly. Looking good and being successful has zero effect on loyalty. Bottomline is it will eventually happen. And she'll do it with absolutely ZERO regard for how it makes you feel. You can blow your head off for all she cares. In fact, that would be a badge of honor for her - she's so good a guy killed himself when he lost her.

Marriage is just an obsolete legal agreement. Back when it almost always actually meant "until death do us part", it made sense. You had permanent emotional and financial support, a partner you knew would always be there, maybe have some kids and feel good about raising a good kid, having help around the house with chores, and then having help with living (hopefully) in old age. Now it's just a huge "look at me look at me!" party for a girl, and when she gets bored eventually, she cans it. No work on it. Just "meh, fuck this, I'm liking fucking that new guy better, so bye!" There is no such thing as forever anymore, there's no such thing as agency. All marriage means is that it's going to be so much more emotionally and financially draining when she decides to "break up", and now gives her all kinds of other options like alimony or child support that she wouldn't have had if you weren't an idiot who thought it was anything more than just your turn to fuck her. Ring just meant you may have gotten to fuck her a little longer than if there was no ring.

[–]RedPilledGodEmperor10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

Exactly. I am turning 27 soon and my parents have a great marriage. Been married for about 30 years or so. These days, it's way harder to have a marriage that will last 5 or 10 years.

There is no way that I am ever getting married. I will go to weddings, celebrate other people's marriage and be happy for them because they are doing something that they believe will make them happy, but I'm not doing it. Forget the cost of divorce if it somehow never happens. Just the engagement ring and wedding alone cost way too much money.

Plus, for the most part sex tends to go away during a marriage. Even if you do everything to stay in great shape and look good. No matter how much pressure I get from friends, family or even coworkers, I'm not getting married.

[–][deleted]8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Smart man. I'm currently not even interested in any LTR, but I'm never doing marriage again. Spent $5k on a ring that I got about $300 for when I traded it in after. Put my heart and soul into something I truly believed would last forever. Passed up all kinds of opportunities for the sake of the marriage. Only to learn nothing meant shit. Fuck that noise.

[–]RedPilledGodEmperor4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Damn $5K on a ring?

I would rather lose three times that amount trying to start my own business. At least with the business, it had a chance at succeeding and I can call myself a "former entrepreneur."

In the event it did somehow succeed, you could become rich.

[–][deleted]5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Even the jewelry associated with marriage is a bullshit lie. Obviously it's not actually worth anything.

[–]jewishsupremacist881 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

damn. yeah dude this is why i feel like most of us have no choice. if high value men can no longer keep these thots in line..whats the average joe schmo to do?

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

There are a lot of people that come here after other measures fail to explain why their marriage is so screwed up, or I'm my case, just fucking weird.

[–]untetheredbachelor2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If they really did swallow the red pill they'd likely know: She's fucking a chad, he's a simp, etc. I don't know why people get married this day and age.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are a few people older than 25 on this planet.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Today's climate you shouldn't marry or ltr

[–]SlyVikram2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This line made my year bro.! Kudos!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Literally the only decent advice I’ve ever seen on this god forsaken sub

[–]sourmonkeytroll250 points251 points  (22 children) | Copy

Women usually leave when you are down and out. They almost never leave when you are on top of your game.

[–]--Edog--109 points110 points  (19 children) | Copy

Happened to me. 2 days before I was about to have knee surgery. 6 weeks after I developed a mysterious, debilitating chronic pain problem,(after years of mistakenly tolerating her bitching and complaining about everything I did.) she says she wants out. I am moving out in August, and there is no way in HELL I would ever get married or live with a woman again. Women are like sharks, if there's blood in the water, or if you show weakness.... they will eat you alive and spit you out. They are wired by evolution to be repelled by male weakness of any kind - emotional or physical. I would never have believed it if I hadn't lived through it. Women are a lot closer to being part of the "natural world" of animal survival than men are. She may seem like a nice, sweet girl - but don't be fooled by appearances. She is an animal with animal survival instincts.

[–]sourmonkeytroll70 points71 points  (9 children) | Copy

Women go feral when the resources look like they might run out.

[–]450k_crackparty119 points120 points  (3 children) | Copy

I live the the far north. A wise man once told me: when you want to get rid of a woman, stop chopping firewood.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

or just be completely average

[–]BrownGummyBear[🍰] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don’t get the saying, mind elaborating?

[–]450k_crackparty8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Like firewood to heat the house. Many people use woodstoves here.

[–]--Edog--44 points45 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's a Red Pill thing all around: my wife was bitchy/unpeasant even when I was coming home with: performance bonuses, profit sharing, untaxed CASH enployee retention bonuses and hefty 401k bonuses. We also owned multiple rental properties that I managed. Okay, there were areas I was probably dropping the ball 'cuz I was working and commuting a lot... but I was earning and supporting the fam like a man. But that was the clue I missed: The fact she was acting like a bitch was her message that she wan't happy. And also a shit test. The fact I was willing to put up with her shitty behavior made her despise me for being weak. If I had just put my foot down and told her to shape up or I was shipping out...

[–]sourmonkeytroll31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

Had similar story. Working 80hr weeks was killing it for the beta bux. But got fat and failed to lead.

Maintaining frame and passing shit tests helped the respect in the relationship. Losing weight and raising smv increased sex.

Hypergamy is ferocious. When your married there is no rest from it. But it was there when I was beta, at least now I have tools to make the relationships in my life more of what I want.

[–]geturcraptogether4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Proved to me by my ex. That and when the beta shows (as proven by the ex wife )

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is true but one exception is women who make good money on their own. My buddy hurt his back a few years ago and is in nonstop pain, which means he can't work and such. His wife is a lawyer and brings home plenty of money, they're going strong to this day. In the end my guess is that things will degrade between them but that remains to be seen.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat23 points24 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yes. This is why you can never reveal your weaknesses to a woman - even though they say they like it, and may think they do, in fact they don't and it changes you forever in their eyes.

[–]--Edog--11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yes!!! Don't tell women anything that makes you look weak. A woman does NOT want to hear about anything from you - unless it benefits her: "Here are my plans for the future...I want to add a deck to the house...I am going to apply for a better position at work...I am planning a ski vacation for the family" That's what they she wants to hear - and nothing else. Got problems? Get a therapist. Don't tell her jack shit about your struggles or pains in life. She wants you to listen to her complain, she does not want to listen to,your problems...she canot actually handle any weakness or instabilty from her man.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yep. The weird thing is, they seem to think they DO like to hear it - you'll read all this bullshit about how they like men opening up to them and showing their vulnerable side - but bullshit is all it is. Women don't understand themselves. They have idealistic notions of what they want in a man that don't match up to what they really want.

[–]--Edog--5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Everything women say about men is really about themselves. ...when she says she wants you to "open up" and and "share your emotions" ...she means she wants you to talk about how you really feel about her. She does NOT want to be your therapist and cannot handle your emotional issues.... she can barely control her own emotions. I am not even sure they believe that men even have feelz about things.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree. Women still want to be the woman in the relationship. If you start acting like one it's a significant turn off for them.

[–]--Edog--3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's a cue for them to look for a real man.

[–]LeavingHumanityBehin 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Only if you give a fuck. If you would be having a knee surgery and didn't even complain about it or talk about it or seek compassion, she'd probably think you were higher value

[–]--Edog-- 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

If you would "learn to be" writing in proper English maybe I would understand what you are "trying to be" saying.

[–]Pragmaticpandas170 points171 points  (7 children) | Copy

Increase SMV, increase attraction. Simple as that.

[–]WoodWizzy87276 points277 points  (17 children) | Copy

If your girl can’t stop rubbing her hands all over you 24/7 while at home or out and about. She ain’t going nowhere. Aim for that level of affection from your girl

[–]TaylorWolf123 points124 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is like old-school core TRP.

This is what TRP is all about.

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points  (7 children) | Copy

If your girl isn't doing this, she isn't your girl. If you dont feel comfortable with a girl doing this to you, fix your self esteem. Read the six pillars of self esteem and get your esteem in check.

[–]j_arbuckle20126 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I am glad someone else here swears by that book. Really helped me out of a slog several years ago.

[–]OfficerWade6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

How do you define self esteem?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The esteem to which you hold yourself. It’s a very literal phrase

[–]Flawless442 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The view you have of yourself, justified or not.

[–]LiteraIIyJesus 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

Any advice on getting her to be like this?

[–]SuperCrazy0736 points37 points  (2 children) | Copy

Easiest question on the internet. Bigger muscles. 95% girls can't resist and the remainder are low sex drive and/or lesbians. (I don't mean that sarcastically, to each their own, but let's focus on the middle 95% of the normal curve.)

Bigger muscles.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillcad[S] 45 points46 points  (1 child) | Copy

Muscles, low body fat, sharp haircut and clothes are all within a man's control. Attitude very important too.

That's a man's SMV in a nutshell

[–]onizloms23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

Attitude is huge. I'm actually ripped so it's not the best example, but my girlfriend is the most tactile and attracted when I'm rocking a social setting. Went to her dad's 50th birthday party this weekend, and met a lot of new family members. I was obviously the center of attention as I'm a foreigner, and I spent most of the time entertaining groups with stories and shit. She was rubbing me 24/7, touching my dick and making out behind walls etc.

[–]WoodWizzy87-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

My girl put my non stick cooking pan in the dishwasher for the third time.... I scolded the fuck out of her and she apologized. That wasn’t enough though, I grabbed her arm and dragged her downstairs where the dogs sleep. I said, “you’re in the dog house now woman, now get in there and think about what you’ve done”. I put a grown woman on s fucking timeout because I could and I had the frame.

We had hot monkey sex that night

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil115 points116 points  (12 children) | Copy

How many marriage therapists acknowledge Feminism as a cause of the decline of family cohesion? Basically zero. Their job is to blame the individual for a societal problem to distract from the societal problem.

Therapists exist yo preserve the status quo by labeling all dissent as "abnormal".

[–]--Edog--84 points85 points  (7 children) | Copy

My marriage therapist told us: "most of the couples who come to marriage therapy only do it to say they tried marriage therapy. Then they get divorced" - he was right.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil41 points42 points  (5 children) | Copy

Allright well in that case we should compare your marriage therapist experience to that of the modern church

The goal of modern 2018 church isn't to believe in God because let's be 100% honest here most people at church fucking don't. The goal is to watch someone believe in God on our behalf.

So rather than fight to maintain marriage the goal is to outsource someone else to do it.

That way we can focus on what we really care about our jobs, mistresses and drug addictions.

[–]destraht3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Isn't just about everything a quick indulgence check box for the masses including; voting, donating to starving African children, diet soda, PC virtue signaling at the cocktail party, giving the San Francisco bum a dollar, giving a plastic light switch smile, buying a carbon offset of a "tree" that was planted in a third world country.

I've noticed that losing interest in these pretenses forces hands and has me either getting laid real fast or labeled as mean, grumpy, sociopathic and online as autistic (but never once in real life). Meanwhile actual sociopaths love this shit because they are always faking everything and template pretense culture gives them superior cover over a requirement to be genuine. The rise of the real and actual sociopath coincides with the vapid checkbox culture.

I'll add that my favorite thing about Ukraine is the freedom to be miserable. We lost that right in California a long time ago and so we get plastic smiles or risk going to jail.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is called commodity fetishism and what your experiencing is alienation. Since your in Ukraine you should know this line if reason very well.

[–]destraht2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yes of course. That one sentence summarized it perfectly but I wrote it for the guys just starting to scratch their heads.

Backstory for a Russian who might get a kick out of it: I was in Ukraine but I can't return until September due to Kiev creating a new 180 days in the year law that nobody informed me about even after having "overextended" and passing blissfully through land borders into Poland and Moldova for quite a long while every 90 days. Then Kiev locked my profile so that only they can undo it whereas other borders don't do that. Just another point in the argument that Ukraine is not a unified country and that people don't really like Kiev's shit all that much. I think that Kiev just made a law that no other border is willing to enforce and so it only exists out of the Kiev airports. I'll always fly through Warsaw from here on out forever.

I'm in Colombia now.

[–]PhranticPenguin0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Offtopic: How are the relations between Russians and Ukrainians right now?

I'm a total outsider, I'm just wondering what both em think of eachother, considering the civil war conflict going on.

[–]destraht2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not sure but my American friend says that Russian language propaganda can be pretty bad. In Ukraine it seems that the extremists tend to be in L'viv and in the central Southern places North of the Black Sea. I'm not exactly sure of the Russian perspective but I gather that many of them view Ukrainians as either extremists or sad victims of their own childishness and foreign meddling.

[–]1ozaku72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's the generation that wants to have it all without any of the effort.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

The wife goes to marriage counseling as a gesture to entertain she’s a good person and see her husband grovel. All marriage counseling is unacceptable. Marriage counseling = negotiating desire.

[–]destraht5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

ex-USSRists know well the real role and dangers of head doctors.

[–]1ozaku73 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Therapists in general are shit. Mine was just asking me what I thought and felt in that moment, and it cost me like 50 bucks an hour. Then I realized I could just get a body2body massage from some hot college chick and it turned out to be much better.

Therapists are just good at bullshitting around and letting the people solve their own problem. But it's politically incorrent to tell a fat hog whose husband lost interest in her to lose some weight and get big fake tits, much like they cannot tell a man to man up, hit the gym and stop being such a pussy about everything. You live only once and you don't want to commit your life to some second hand garbage.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Their job is to keep you down

[–]GodOfDinosaurs176 points177 points  (20 children) | Copy

Okay this will work like 5% of the time. Cheating on your wife and having her find out about it is not really a good way to save your marriage.

[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker121 points122 points  (10 children) | Copy

The problem with TRP and married TRP is that they go on about dread game this, dread game that. "Go nuclear" etc. When your marriage is in the toilet because you're a depressed has-been beta and she's bored and wants more, and treats you with disrespect, is meeting with a lawyer behind your back, etc... then what "dread game" can the beta really pull? None, because he has exposed himself as lower SMV and undesirable by other women.

There is no dread game for that situation, there is only actual dread. When you have exposed yourself as a beta and her attraction is dead, you have to literally force her to recognize that your SMV is higher than hers, and you're better than her, and she gains more by association. It's obviously a roll of the dice, but at that point, you either act or you wait for the axe to fall.

IDK about OPs story, for all we know it's BS, but the general concept is true - when you start experiences marriage troubles, you run your gay ass light dread game. When your marriage is in the toilet and she's headed for divorce regardless, then this is your best move.

The "save your marriage" part of your wording is the wrong frame. You can't try to save your marriage. You have to do best by yourself and be as successful as you can, and demonstrate as much value as you can - if you are trying to save your marriage, you're already catering to her and you're already losing, because she feels how dependent you are and how your goal is just to keep her.

[–]Morphs_13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy

Well the story completely omits the guy's frame in the whole ordeal. You can be a cheating BB that feels guilty afterwards, and there will probably be a divorce coming your way. Or you have a solid frame to accompany the new SMV so the wife sticks. I think the frame part played a crucial role here.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillcad[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

The story is true. Slight inconsequential details changed and as you say the core of it is that once a woman pegs you as beta than slight dread won't register. She needs to be viscerally awakened to your new SMV with strong actions not hints

Another point of the story is that when you are a womans best option then you will get away with far more than the blue pill chubbyhubby who got a handjob at the Asian massage parlor

[–]_BITCHES_LOVE_ME_3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

It probably did, but how do you stick to your guns after being caught cheating? I know a lot of the guys here advocate it, but how do you spin it to wifey when she confronts you, what can one say?

[–]Jampak_50007 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

you don't need to say anything. say less in general. the fact that shes caught you fucking other women is a big enough statement. definitely don't say sorry though

[–]1ozaku70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I mean, if you cheat, atleast own up to it. "Yeah, I fucked her and I'm not sorry."

[–]antariusz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like a natural alpha fixing problems organically in the story, seems plausible.

[–]1cappadocianhawk3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can save yourself and then she will have to make her own mind if she wants to save herself. And you can't do that if you didn't come to accept that there is a good chance the marriage is over. That is true idgaf and outcome independence.

Can't control other people anyhow, maybe your turn is over.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

12 levels of dread should be on the sidebar.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is for MRP. If you are not married you don’t need 12 levels of dread. It’s for us marrried guys because you don’t next and ghost your wife because she didn’t text you back.

[–]Flintblood18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think improving SMV and getting close to cheating would be enough in most troubled marriages. Depends on how far checked out wifey is. If she’s already seeing other people, then it’s over and this move is more likely to either make you feel better and maybe induce some dread.

[–]some-pseudonym 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Nice thread to read but i have no clue what does SMV stands for? Sorry, I'm relatively new to this sub. Thanks. :)

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sexual Market Value - acronym that generally describes how attractive and valuable you are in the dating market.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Short for Read The Sidebar. At Least The Glossary.

[–]pbpunk3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

At that point you don't care anyway. I was in the similar situation and it had the same results.

[–]NBKFactor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This isnt about cheating that the byproduct. This is about self improvement. You work on yourself and things fall into place.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yiu couldn't be more wrong about the point of this post. I'd suggest reading it again

[–]GodOfDinosaurs0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I understand the point of the post. Self-improvement to become more desirable via dreadgame and reintroducing pre-selection etc etc. Normal RP stuff. I'm saying most women will just flat out divorce you and take your money if they find out you've cheated. Cheating has a very low chance of working out well for you if you're actually interested in your marriage.

[–]scabbalicious29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds a lot more like a woman who is waiting for the right moment (biggest payday) to pull the trigger on a divorce.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

the man in the story, is he interested in having a magnanimous relationship with his wife?

Thats some level 11 dread game tactics to actually be unfaithful.

[–]AlexanderTheBread14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

I suspect he cheated just because...and that the positive results were probably a surprise to him

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m not surprised, AWALT. Though I’m still very conservative regarding relationships and pro monogamy so I would probably divorce my wife instead of fucking another women, but that’s just me.

[–]ebaymasochist13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

He made her feel young again, like it was the beginning of the relationship.

[–]henrysmyagent66 points67 points  (2 children) | Copy

He made her feel replaceable...just like she was at the beginning the relationship.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

And raised his value in her eyes. Nothing makes a man more attractive to a woman than knowing some other woman wants him.

[–]Flintblood13 points14 points  (11 children) | Copy

This approach maybe not taken all the way, should be the new method for marriage therapy.

[–]--Edog--20 points21 points  (10 children) | Copy

I agree. #1. Guy hits the gym #2. Guy gets better job #3. Guy starts hitting on women in front of his wife. A woman won't do jack shit to save her marriage if she's "over it"

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillcad[S] 2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

A woman properly motivated and led will work to save a relationship.

She will get or remain thin. She will resume blowjobs and provide a slick wet pussy on demand

[–]--Edog--7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

They are so fickle, crazy, hormonal and led by their childish emotions and their jealous friends...the smartest thing a man can do is to never marry or live with a woman. They are constantly looking for something to be disastified with. No matter how strong, how Alpha, how studly you are. A woman is unstable, unpredictable, and too easily influenced by her gal pals at work.....who she bitches to about you all week long. What do they tell her? "You are sooo awesome, and sweet, and giving and wonderful...he's a selfish man-jerk-asshole-and yoou DESERVE a much better guy (even though you're a 48 year old woman and no guy is gonna want you) you should divorce him!"

[–]WizardSenpai 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

my relationship is dying but i just had hernia repair surgery, wont recover fully for months. Guess i'll have to upgrade ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[–]LeavingHumanityBehin 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

If a woman doesn't give you sex she should be dumped on spot.

[–]--Edog-- 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

That's 80% of wives one year after marriage. They joke about it at work - "ahhh I tell him I have cramps, or a headache, or my period is really long this month - he's too dumb to know"

[–]LeavingHumanityBehin 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

So she should be divorced on spot.

[–]--Edog-- 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

And she takes the house. half your money, your kids, plus alomony. Plus child support.

[–]LeavingHumanityBehin 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Nice victim complex.

What is prenup.

What is offshore trust.

What is earning less on paper than her so she ends up paying for child support and you go away with stuff?

Are you born yesterday?

[–]Million-Suns4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why the heck do red pillers even marry?

I hope I will never fall into that trap.

[–]DayGameChirality3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not a trap and you shouldn't "hope" you don't fall into it, you just don't do it based on rational thought.

[–]Muk1st3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Holding all the chips in a marriage is key, if a woman believes that she is worse off if she leaves rather than staying, she will shape her ass up pretty quickly.

You can kind of respond to bad behavior this way by telling her to pack her shit and move on out every once in a while when she gets a little out of hand for whatever reason.

[–]francisco_DANKonia5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

If only guys without a relationship to save could muster the willpower to apply dread game on the sexual marketplace.

People are motivated by possible loss more than gain

[–]theflappiestflapper7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Those last two lines are almost poetic

[–]WolfofAnarchy10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

You think they're happy? I think not. I think they're in a marriage based only on looks and attraction, and not on human connection and love. You might say blah blah it doesn't exist I'm a nihilist maaaan but I don't believe that.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

hahahaha thank you, i needed this joke today

[–]StrawoftheMonkey-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm surprised your post wasn't downvoted. The general consensus I've gathered here is that only looks mattered in a relationship between a man and a woman.

[–]WolfofAnarchy5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes, I was too. But people know it's true. The Red Pill is a toolset, one which most often leads to picking up women that are hot and used for sex. They're not relationship material. Some are, but most aren't. The women you will be picking up with the TRP toolset are most often a perfect fit with the archetypal Modern Woman = Selfies on Instagram every day, Starbucks, latest smartphone, goes to Ibiza on vacations, has had 10-20 different dicks in her before you, etc.

This is why I left TRP, sure, it worked, but I found that my magnet attracted those who could gratify me, but not fulfill me, and eventually I stopped desiring casual sex and am now working on myself 24/7 and I've got a few nice girls in my sights who are more innocent than my previous endeavors.

I find that I reject modern hookup culture and the soulless women it produces. How hypocritical of me it would be to be against hookups until I can get some pussy and then just be a part of it and fuel the machine and enable it.

[–]Flintblood1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are some important takeaways that will always benefit you regardless of where you go, including things like preselection, priming, true self belief and self-confidence that comes from the abundance mentality and outcome independence, and most importantly, holding frame.

Lifting has helped me and caring about my clothes, fashion and grooming has helped. I wasn't a slob before, but getting into a more muscular and toned shape, and buying smart clothes smartly that also are coordinated and fit well, has helped. I'm not super Chad or Brad Pitt, but I've raised my SMV nonetheless and having a little fun getting used to it.

I'm probably like you in that I don't really care too much for spending a lot if time reading up on 'game' and PUA stuff - mainly because the subjects that was designed to attract are not what I would want for more than a week or so - and never for a LTR. But everything I listed above will help with any woman out there.

[–]soulcatcher3572 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What state do they live in? This guy could be Brad Pitt. She is totally biding her time until he gets a good 3 years solid income; or a longer marriage for more/longer/permanent alimony.

[–]camelCaseOfBeer2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

A happy man is a happy relationship, a happy woman is a miserable man. - Patrice O’Neal

She can’t be happy unless you put yourself first.

[–]uwey2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think that sums it up.

If man do present value and not to be a loser, it is easy to save and preserve marriage and family. Just like a well performed company can sustain itself because it had healthy debt and income ratio, and consistently build equity.

But a shitty deal will be a hot woman that is very high maintenance (bad debt, like 30% interest depreciation equity) so you would rather rent/loan in long term. Not to get into family deal with long term negative equity is the key. Most young woman had high potential to slowly become negative equity anyway, and their spending habits also another black hole to suck all your energy and money away.

I would certainly fuck hot girl for short term (too much maintenance, switch to not-own but rent) and kept a wife that are appreciative and family oriented.

Man’s lust is short but impulsive, but woman’s lust are long and consistent, man performed like Bit Coin, woman performed like Federal interest rate.....

[–]wanker71712 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

A man that other women want

You can even see it in the way girls talk to one another too. I'm one of the only guys at my workplace and I feel very confident that I'm the most alpha guy there. With some of the girls, when I give a cheeky reply to a shit test, they'll say to another passing coworker "He's so mean to me." AKA "I get his attention."

[–]DeeplyDisturbed15 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

This saga does not end here. Women are vindictive.

[–]Flintblood4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

He can't rest on his new SMV laurels. He'll have to be all aware and ready to frame-up and throw some dread down again at a moment's notice.

[–]jewishsupremacist881 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

fucking younger / hotter girls makes your dick bigger, real talk

[–]nasanhak1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Imo it is better to be single/unmarried/divorced than to be with a mentally unstable woman (or even a man) like that

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillcad[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

better implies your goals are superior to another man's.

TRP is a toolkit for each man to achieve whatever he wants

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A man that other women want

A man that other women want

A man that other women want

A man that other women want

A man that other women want

A man that other women want

A man that other women want

A man that other women want

A man that other women want

A man that other women want

A man that other women want

A man that other women want

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True maybe the ancillary characteristics made the difference. It's not just sticking it to the woman. Did he become a while new person? Looking better, gaining confidence, more energy, improved mood. Why should a woman want the former?

[–]Winterpreter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's the best proof for AWALT

[–]DreamBoatGuy250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

For the sake of analysis and so we all don't fall into cognitive bias it should be considered that this could have simply been purely a money issue.

Financial issues are the number one reason for divorce, most of which are initiated by women.

He was having money trouble and his wife was unhappy, he got a new job making a lot more money and his wife suddenly became a lot happier. That's probably the sum of it.

I question the amount of lifting and dread game that could keep a woman in line if her joint bank account wasn't full.

[–]yummyluckycharms0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would hold the horses here.

As stated, wife was angry that he wasnt providing enough moola - and is now happy since he got a better job.

There is also a possibility that she is waiting for the 1 year mark so that his job is stable and she can then divorce him for a higher monthly amount.



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