Monk mode (brief log). With progression came unexpected side-effects

[deleted] · 2018-07-11T12:16:53+00:00

The pathway to success is a lonely journey

187oddfuture · 2018-07-11T14:09:25+00:00

Once you find the red pill and apply it, you change. A lot. Your friends don’t like change, they are friends with blue pill you, not red pill you. You’ll outgrow your friends, and tbh, most “friends” really aren’t worth anything. They’re just a medium you use to go out and experience things. True friends are hard to find, but you’ll know the real ones by if they’re ride or die for you. Keep those around for life, let the rest naturally come and go.

tantan24 · 2018-07-11T13:08:00+00:00

If it was easy, everybody would do it.

Try meditation to Center yourself and keep your focus. Are you currently lifting? If not, start, it will take your mind off loneliness, at least for a bit.

It will be worth it in the end, you must mature to the point where you can delay gratification in order to be worthy of the rewards that will bring to your future self.

jm51 · 2018-07-11T17:50:36+00:00

Changing from one thing to another means being temporarily unbalanced.

We walk by putting one foot in front of the other. In between steps we are unbalanced but we know what happens next and don't worry about it. We don't feel as if we are unbalanced.

When we are not fully sure of what happens next we become more aware of how unbalanced we are. It's a natural thing to happen, you aren't doing anything wrong. If losing sight of the shore was easy, everyone would do it.

Kink3 · 2018-07-11T20:55:51+00:00

It sucks where you're at in the process, losing friend groups while improving your life seems contradictory and can be frustrating. Keep pushing man! Make it through this phase and you'll be rewarded with like minded friends who are also based on improvement.

[deleted] · 2018-07-11T21:32:13+00:00

For the past 6 months I have been in a monk mode "lite" phase of my life. I agree that the blue pilled conditioning conversations are boring and sad, but I have also been practicing red pill truths and that has also been challenging.

I think you are becoming more alpha with time and practice. Alpha men lead other men, perhaps it's time for you to start building a: movement, business, something larger than yourself to both give back to your friends (community) and also help guide and shape them as better people of society. Or go dark with it and build yourself a following you harvest from, TRP is amoral after all .. but, I challenge you men to be better in the face of such shitty-ness that plagues modern society. I too can have my cake and eat it too, I'm going to fuck all the thotties and leave this place better than I found it.

I'm starting to see TRP as a big fucking responsibility as a modern man. As I grow I see a need to lead by example, not necessarily explaining (spoon feeding) people. I don't give out charity anymore, but I want to see people succeed.

RPYoga · 2018-07-12T02:24:36+00:00

You're doing well. As you grow, you realize that you need to leave some habits as well as some people in order to be true to the journey. Sounds like part of you is realizing this and another part realizes the sadness that it causes as well. This is the storm before the you find that Caribbean island with a bunch of hot girls waiting for you, smarter friends that'll you enjoy fulfilling conversations with and a good understanding of yourself. You decide whether you want to keep going and get greater.

aasdtr · 2018-07-11T16:32:15+00:00

Monk mode is best way Keep going

SgtBrutalisk · 2018-07-12T12:25:07+00:00

You've outgrown your friends. I had the same realization around 15 when I noticed I'm the only one in my surroundings that puts any effort towards self-knowledge.

7 years later I'll meet a good friend who gave me Ouspensky's "In search of the miraculous" [PDF, 396 pages] that talks about finding oneself amidst the chaos of World War 1 in Russia under the influence of G, a mystical teacher from Caucasus who held lectures to a group interested in self-knowledge:

"How can we recognize people who are able to come to the work?" asked one of those present.

"How to recognize them is another question," said G. "To do this it is necessary to a certain extent 'to be.' But before speaking of this we must establish what kind of people are able to come to the work and what kind are not able.

In order to approach this system seriously, people must be disappointed, first of all in themselves, that is to say, in their powers, and secondly in all the old ways.

A man must be sufficiently disappointed in ordinary ways and he must at the same time think or be able to accept the idea that there may be something— somewhere. If you should speak to such a man, he might discern the flavor of truth in what you say no matter how clumsily you might speak. But if you should speak to a man who is convinced about something else, everything you say will sound absurd to him and he will never even listen to you seriously. It is not worth while wasting time on him.

This system is for those who have already sought and have burned themselves. Those who have not sought and who are not seeking do not need it. And those who have not yet burned themselves do not need it either."

ziriguidumm · 2018-07-12T14:06:33+00:00

This exactly same thing is happening to me, but I think that its necessary to let the people that cannot teach you more go away, because an eagle doesnt need help to fly high.

garbagejooce · 2018-07-12T07:49:05+00:00

The most occuring one is the “10pm feeling”

One thing that helps me when I get fomo because I’m living healthy and disciplined is to have a long-term outlook. Instead of focusing on how boring and lonely you are tonight, think about how much of a head start you have on tomorrow. And the next week, month, year. Those opportunities to have fun are always there.

Poloyatoki · 2018-07-12T05:41:06+00:00

Omce you swollow TRP you can't go back just continue on your journey it will be worth it. Your friends are stuck in a hypoagency and you a hyperagency so they will never change until they too swollow TRP its difficult and I don't try I just throw hints at them.

[deleted] · 2018-07-12T15:27:03+00:00

Why don't you feel part of the group anymore? because you were in groupthink mode before you discovered monk mode, now you have your own voice.

Not everyone is going to approve of your change, some will sabotage your improvement, others will help you build your character to change your being. (women won't be helping with any of this)

[deleted] · 2018-07-12T20:54:18+00:00

While I agree with a lot of what you said I'm going to point something out to you.

Your point on not appreciating their humor anymore is coming from a place of ego where you now see yourself as needing to be above "petty/silly games" 24/7

You're not a robot; banter, memeing and slapstick/stupid humor is human and normal and you're just as much a man for being able to engage in it and it makes you wittier and funner.

I know this because I went through it and inadvertently crushed the fun piece inside of me and went full serious/autist mode for a bit where I couldn't small talk or banter with people

Learn from my mistake and realise that the same way the "10pm feeling/thought" is all in your head, well, so is this presumption that humor is unecessary now

RudeAmbassador · 2018-07-16T20:59:49+00:00

My man

If your serious about change, be ready to lose all your current friends. They won't change with you.

Focus on socializing with new people, continue lifting, & start dressing nicer, and trust me it all comes together.

krsuma · 2018-07-12T10:56:08+00:00

loneliness is a feeling, a lie. solitude is a state of being.

keep going op

Jasperbeardly11 · 2018-07-12T01:04:56+00:00

People don't like when others have radically different idealogies. Easier to just think you're weird. I've experienced similar resistance in different similar scenarios

NikolaGeorgiev · 2018-07-12T09:40:02+00:00

You think you are missing out on something. Maybe you are, maybe you're not. But you're having your free time on the weekends, so there you go. Also, if you look @ 2., then it seems you aren't missing out on anything that you would've liked.
What you should ask yourself is if this experience is really once in a lifetime and if you haven't done ____. If it'll feel better and be better for you after you've done it in comparison to doing your job (improving yourself).
Let's say you go out not to miss out on something. If given the opportunity to do it all over again, would you change something? That's the best test.
This whole thing sounds like a part of a book I read while a teenager - Martin Eden by Jack London. At some point, he advances in life and is trying to meet with his old buddies to have some good times, but things have changed.
It's sad, but friends change and become less and less with time. I have friends from my schoolyears that I still have, but I rarely see for the same reasons. Meet new people, try (once or twice, not more) to elevate your friends. If they want to, they'll come for the journey. If not - they do not want to advance and will hold you back.
"If you are the smartest one in the room, you're in the wrong room."

Intrashable · 2018-07-14T08:13:41+00:00

With my own experience of monk mode, I found that pushing the limits of isolation was truly helpful. In my case, the monk mode was forced due to isolation from my family. Focusing on other things delayed the feelings of loneliness until it reared it's head as I was about to sleep. Made me lose hours of sleep and become overly emotional. The best thing for me was thought meditation, where I would take the feeling and deconstruct into its constituents parts. In was 1 part dependence, 2 parts familiarity, and 1 part emotional weakness. I had grown up to dependent on my family and the loss of them cause a change in my usual patterns of relation weakening my emotional stability. But by re-establishing a baseline within myself and slowly working back up to stability the loneliness disappeared. It took almost a year of isolation before I truly loved being alone. To the extent that even when I finish my monk mode and went back into the world, I would always remember that I was alone that entire year with not a soul to help and I became secure in myself. Later when I had difficulty with relationships I always remember that I live within myself and for myself, and so monk mode is a welcome part of my existence.

[deleted] · 2018-07-14T23:42:55+00:00

What am I doing wrong?

This wasn't my expectation

There ya go. You shouldn't have expected anything to come from this journey.

I would enjoy a 1 on 1 conversation on the topic of this post. I can relate to this strongly. pm me if you would like.

[deleted] · 2018-07-16T09:07:29+00:00

Loneliness and isolation is not a healthy state Monk mode is not a healthy state But monk mode is necessary for self- development

We have a conflict/Paradox

I can relate - especially the withdrawal from otherwise routine divide encounters / it is an unhealthy byproduct of isolation.

Essentially we are dealing with a voluntary solitary confinement - with all its side effects on the mind - too much “in your head time” will fuck you up.

Even the monks have their social routines and tasks with other monks in the monastery

Suggested solution - some self development should occur as part of group activities/courses with other people / maybe strangers ??

Thanks for your post / I know those feelings

Sendo15 · 2018-07-11T16:52:12+00:00

I related to many things from your post. I recently started and still am going through my own form of monk mode. I read as much as I can, exercise as much as I can and work on myself as much as I can. Nobody cares at what time you go to bed during the week and you shouldn’t either. The reason you think about this is the fear of the perception others would have knowing that you sleep at 10h while they are out partying/drinking. I had the same issue for a moment but I consider sleep way more important than what others might/can think. As for the friends part, this is inevitable. I am going through the same thing and I believe strongly that if I am to loose some friends during this period of self improvement then it is only for the best in the long term.

Focus on yourself, the rest will naturally follow.

Hegend1999 · 2018-07-12T21:15:25+00:00

You are not a preacher. Don't preach your opinion to them, they won't appreciate it. If your opinion is asked, answer general terms or some bs if that is reguired to keep your profile in their eyes normal. It seems that you are being alienated from your group.

[deleted] · 2018-07-13T21:14:12+00:00

You have to find friends that are more aligned with what you are learning. The problem here is that you are halfway between your old self and your "self-actualized" self. The people that are truly self-actualized and the people that your old self could relate to will never click with you on a personal level because you are not on the same plane as them, as a manner of speaking. Once you achieve your goals you will eventually meet people like yourself who have improved themselves significantly or are "alpha", you'll recognize these traits in each other and become friends. You posted this here because most people are in the same developmental phase as you and so they can understand your frustrations/have rapport with you.

Meeting people on a journey of self-improvement doesn't happen often in the real world so this will be a lonely stage for you. Most people live their mediocre lives at the middle of the bell curve---that is, by definition, where the majority is. You're attempting to become an outlier and will come across these people less often, but it'll be more satisfying when you do befriend them. You also will have to put yourself in a position where you meet these sort of people more often---a lot of my more alpha friends on a path to self-improvement have been made at the gym, for instance. It's a place tailor-made to meeting those sort of people. They recognize you as a brother and will welcome you if you approach each other right. Whenever you advance in your career path you will meet other people near the top of the ladder who will have similar qualities to you. It's unlikely you will encounter these sort of people as an extension of your old "beta" social circle/anywhere at the level of your old self.

eecchhee · 2018-08-24T12:59:14+00:00

I went through the same shit when I got sober. You need to find like-minded people who are going to stimulate you intellectually. You could also try to shift your focus from thinking what you can take from a situation to instead thinking of what you can bring to a situation.

Also, like some have alluded to, the road of self-sacrifice and hard work can be a lonely one. Try mediating some more. At the very least you can gain a connection to something other than yourself.

Title	Monk mode (brief log). With progression came unexpected side-effects
Author	JustReadBrah
Upvotes	47
Comments	34
Date	July 11, 2018 11:54 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/8xyx7g/monk_mode_brief_log_with_progression_came/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/monk-mode-brief-log-with-progression-came.51360 https://theredarchive.com/post/51360