335,787 posts

I came here to learn how to handle women, but accidentally learned how to handle men.

by Hencley on /r/TheRedPill
07 August 2018 06:10 PM UTC

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As gay as this title sounds hear me out, I came across the subreddit 3 years ago after I ended a horrible relationship of 5 years and one of you fucks DMed me telling me to check it out. Spent 3 years reading, maybe about 2 actually acting out theories I've learned. My life used to consist of constantly chasing girls to get laid after finding it much easier than before, until I realized that this was just me "acting alpha." The true satisfaction came from getting respect from men.

In my day to day life, I come across more encounters with men than women, and I started realizing that I got just as many shit tests from my guy friends/acquaintances as I did with females. I used to feel like I was "low on the food chain" in high school and college when around other guys. When I talked, they didn't care about my opinion as much as some other guys but I never really understood why. After learning red pill theory and reading a few books on this, it became much clearer.

Girls shit test you to see if you're worth their time. Guys shit test you to see if you're worth their respect.

Some examples in my life:

  • I work out 6 days a week now. I have guys approach me and say something along the lines of "I thought you were supposed to be big and strong now??" My old response would have been "I'm stronger than you are!" I remember always defending myself in situations like this, and as a result the guys would smile knowing they just got under my skin in a couple seconds and have brushed me off as a guy not worth their respect. My new response: "Ha yeah it's a slow and steady process." Despite seeming like I am agreeing with them about not being big and strong, I am shutting down their accusations. I've shown them I don't care what they're opinions of me are, I'm confident in my work and progress. This earns their respect.

  • I started my own business a couple years ago and quit my old job as a pharmacy technician. I made nothing the first year, but ended up making quite a lot in the second year and my small ass local city made a few stories about it in the newspaper. My old friends from high school talk about it (it's a weird business) and will say things to me such as "Uh oh aren't you too famous to be around us?" Keep in mind if my close friends give me shit I just consider it funny, sometimes you gotta give each other shit like this. However, these are male acquaintances and will often say things like this in front of women as an attempt to discredit my frame. My old response would've been along the lines of "Sorry some of us were successful in life!" I would've shown these guys and the girls with them that I clearly don't have faith in my success when a simple roast was able to upset me. My new response- "Ha yeah the news likes to make things bigger than they are."

  • I bought a Corvette after saving for awhile. I've always wanted one, and found a good deal on somewhat newer one in good shape. It's kinda cool (it's a Corvette, not a Ferrari.) I've never had so many people try and "discredit" my car before. At a 4th of July party a few high school friends came up to me when I was talking to a decent looking girl. They immediately say "Tyler's (fake name, friend with pretty cool supra) car is way cooler than yours." It's funny how in these situations girls carefully watch to see how you handle yourself. They view it as an old school 1v1 duel, the winner taking their frame. My old response (I never had a cool car, but if old me was in this position rather) would have been "Do you know anything about my car? Dude it's way faster than you think, you don't know cars at all." Again, this is bad. The girl I was talking to would've seen right through my insecurities and this guy's shit test would've essentially worked. Subconsciously, most guys want to do this to you in front of girls, it's our new age way of fighting off other mates. Now I'll just reply "Oh shit isn't that thing awesome? Jealous of him." (It really is an incredible car anyways.)

These are a few examples, but now that I am able to recognize these "shit tests" from guys I catch them almost every day in every situation especially in front of other girls. The funny thing is, after you hold frame in front of guys, I find that they completely switch their perspective. Instead of roasting you for working out in front of the girl you're talking to, they will immediately start asking for tips and what kind of protein you take, etc. They now seek your validation. They go from "Dude nice joggers, they sell those for men?" To "Haha just kidding man, they look super comfortable how much were they?"

I once third wheeled my friend on a Tinder date and spent a half an hour hearing him rip on me to the girl I had literally just met. "He barely works." "He had a one night stand with this ugly girl once." I simply brushed everything off, chuckled and acted like it didn't matter. The fucking weirdest thing is the girl started defending me to him. She would say "well is he not allowed to vacation??" As soon as this happened I knew this guy fucked up. I left with no interest in being a tool for his ego, and he texted me 2 days later saying "yeah she told me she didn't fuck on the first date so I dropped her off." His attempt to climb above my status failed, and turned her off.

It is essentially a social ladder and guys want to see where they place. After holding frame, they now seek to be close to you seeing as they now view you as higher than them on this ladder. Think of the coolest, most confident guys you know. Chances are, you could say any kind of insult to them and they wouldn't even think about it for more than a second. If I told Leonardo Dicaprio I thought his acting sucked, do you really think he'd defend himself to me? Of course not. Being able to hold frame in front of women can get you laid, being able to hold frame in front of men can get you respected. One is much more satisfying to me to be honest.

Tl:Dr - Hold frame in front of men as much as you do women. Men shit test too, and passing a guys shit test in front of a woman can get you laid as easily. 2 birds, 1 stone.

Post Information
Title I came here to learn how to handle women, but accidentally learned how to handle men.
Author Hencley
Upvotes 1280
Comments 205
Date 07 August 2018 06:10 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/51858
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/95e236/i_came_here_to_learn_how_to_handle_women_but/
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1 upvotescatchlight221 year ago

Inner game, ya'll.

Some people will claim money gave him his game, but you're ignoring that money cant buy mental strength.

99 upvotesHencley [OP]1 year ago

Money helped, but it didn't solve it. I had acne, was skinny, ugly, just in general had insecurities about everything. It was striving to better every aspect of myself that helped It wasn't the money itself, rather the work I put in to obtain it that helped me develope mental strength.

2 upvotesuniversalabundance11 year ago

But if he made the sacrifices to make a ton of money, he would deserve my respect because he had to be mentally strong to do it.

1 upvotestrexgomez1 year ago

I've been unconsciously doing this all my life and I think my reasons and results are quite similar to yours. However,

One situation I often run into is that it seems like I'm not standing up for myself and I'm fine with taking insults after insults, ridicule after ridicule. Sometimes, their frame doesn't even imply they're shit testing me, it is a straightout ridicule which keeps repeating on later occasions and induces just as much laughter.

What would you in that case?

1 upvotesHeathcliff--1 year ago

After the first two or three shit-tests, any more means the dude is just a bully and he's trying to AMOG you, either becuase you threaten his position too much and he needs to destroy you for comfort, or he thinks you've failed his shit-tests and has placed you at the bottom of the dominance heirarchy, using you as a punching bag to score social points.

In this case, it is a direct challenge against you and not an imploring measure of worth, so you can't just brush them aside, you need to tackle it head on.

Sadly what won't work is to actually call him out "like men" in front of the group, ("hey man why you gotta be an asshole", "is this normally how you speak to your friends?" "what's your problem dude?") becuase then he can backtrack into the "I was just messing with you man" and you come across butthurt. You have to either:

a) hit him back with wittier and snarkier lines and shut him down. Good if you can pull it off and have had practice, but risky becuase if your retorts are lame or bitter you will once again come across the loser.

b) find a plausibly deniable excuse to BAIL from the group before you lose more points for being the butt of the jokes. You can't make it seem like you're running away, rather, "grab another drink" or "go talk to a friend who's just arrived".

Eventually, you can take him aside alone and employ option c) Have a "man-to-man" conversation "as friends" and ask him "what his problem" with you is and tell him "hey man I don't get what the showboating is about and I'm not playing ball cos I think it's kinda lame, we're not in high school anymore can't we just be chill with each other around people?". It's important that you do this alone where he doesn't have to put on the act, and take the moral high-ground which he won't be able to deny to your face. Basically placate the guy and befriend him from scratch, repair the relationship, show him you have balls and you've actualy just been holding back on him. Grab a drink with him after, you'll be surprised how many of these assholes tuck their tail between their legs and treat you much better.

If this is a consistent occurance in a friendship group and he won't let up and you haven't been able to make the guy stop, it's unsalvageable and you just need to stop hanging out with him and don't associate. Easy if he's just an aquaintance or fringe member, harder if he's a major player in your circle. In this case, he's doing it becuase he doesn't like you and wants to kick you out of the circle, and is testing the reactions of the others involved as well (will they defend you, how much do they want to keep you, do they prefer him more so won't speak up?).

(If he's a coworker and does this at work/after-work drinks. You tell on him like a schoolboy and take it to HR. That's what they're for. He will stop immediately once his job is on the line. Sure he might hate you after, but he hated you already. At least now he's quiet about it).

Hm. Relationship dynamics are complicated. Fun to learn though.

72 upvotesHencley [OP]1 year ago

This is a brilliant reply. Spot on. Unfortunately we all come across those guys that will just bully consistently and must be cut out of our lives. It always comes from bad places in their lives. Had a life long friend, as I started succeeding he moved into his grandma's basement and starting drinking a 12 pack a night and spending every check on weed. Every single time I was around him he tried to bring me down to his level. Eventually just left him behind.

17 upvotesJustSatan1 year ago

This is currently happening with two close friends of mine. Fortunately, I'm moving about 90 minutes away; and so as such I'll be able to cut them off indirectly. Crazy, tho. I just want people to work hard and want to win like I do, but they'd rather wallow in regression and BS. Meanwhile, they think I want to just sit around, smoke weed, and listen to their problems? Nah.

2 upvotesAthylus1 year ago

Agreed. Well written out post and I can attest to his methods. Used them myself back when I was at a lower standing much like you described in the OP. I called other men out, as a boy, and it made me move up. Now I don't have to anymore.

And when the douchebaggery gets too big, you should bail. You did, I did. It can be hard to cut ties but worth it. Back in the high school days we had a buddy that was always the punching bag, which I brought up to him sometime. Big mistake, gotta let people figure it out themselves.

35 upvotesFindTheBus1 year ago

Option 3: beat the shit out of him in the parking lot when he's alone and you know where the lights and security cameras are. Then post his credit card information on mongolian pottery forums, and buy drinks with his cash.

inb4 someone dark triad shames me

1 upvotesPortfolioAnalysis1 year ago

I won't dark triad shame you, but I will edgelord shame you instead. What you said is something you would never do and only fantasise about. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. Talk like a grown up.

-1 upvotesFindTheBus1 year ago

Edgelord posters are lame faggots. If you detected the scent of fedora and neckbeard, maybe you're smelling yourself.

Imagining a world where violent, unstable people only exist in the 'other' and don't ever post on your message boards must be comforting.

1 upvotesPortfolioAnalysis1 year ago

I can tell with great confidence that you are neither violent, nor unstable or aggressive. Because if you were, you would not be sitting here making these posts, but out there gang banging. Actual gang bangers and dark triads don't post on TRP. Only fake edgelord bullshit artists

4 upvotesFindTheBus1 year ago

Says who? Some of the biggest meth dealers in my area have enormous magic the gathering deck collections. You have built a model of the world, with incomplete data.

6 upvotesstarky-kun1 year ago

You can get arrested, but it does sound fun. More power to you if you can pull it off without losing your job and reputation.

7 upvotesTherwow1 year ago

becuase you threaten his position too much and he needs to destroy you for comfort

This is spot on. I just had one, were a co-worker (he is is insecure about his current employment) was yelling in front of 2 other people at me for a "mistake" I did. The reason for yelling was such a trivial thing that it was ridiculous. But you see, I have experience in this, so I didn't "just brush it off" or said sorry (which I would do previously). He was the one who lost at the end.

But because of many years of failed shittests I have gained experience. If the same thing happened 4 years ago, I would have failed again. I'm glad that I have gained my experience in low-value environments, so I didn't lose much.

4 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

This is really interesting. I had a friend completely avoid me and whenever I try and make a plan to meet, he comes up with some excuse DESPITE being super nice. The dude even follows me on instagram. This all happened after I started becoming more successful. To me it seems like he's not a real friend. I know this because I invited him out and he made some lame excuse about weekends are family and shit. And then I see him outside the same venue I was at on a saturday. I think he saw me inside and didn't come in. lol. I know this whenever we have been together out, I get more attention from women even without making much of an effort. I'm better looking than him. But, I did consider him a friend and would geniunely try and make plans with him. Gave up after that. He did introduce me to other people in the group but he kicked me out of that circle. I believe it was because he is insecure and whenever he's around me he feels like crap.

I did make one attempt and messaged him saying "How's it going bro. How's life. Miss hanging with you bro." And he replies "Same here bro. When am i seeing you?" --> I obviously thought this was a genuine message but it wasnt. I tried to make plans and somehow he kept coming up with some excuse.

1 upvotesHeathcliff--1 year ago

My rule with friends is that if you have to keep making the plans and requesting hangouts, and they never make any effort to connect with you off their own accord, they're not really your friend.

Sometimes I'll not contact my "friends" for while just to see if the dude will even bother to message me if I don't message him. The results can be disheartening.

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Absolutely. Insecurity is the worst thing ever. I mean imagine this dude is nice to me via what's app text whatever , but he saw me at the venue and didn't even come in! Yet there is no animosity. It would have been so easy to come in and just say hey man what u doing here ! I'm not exactly sure what to make of it. Like why follow me on social media Instagram (btw I don't follow him). Oh and btw, he never ever likes my posts. lol. But he still follows me.

Just to give you some background. When we met I was basically struggling financially. I now own a business that hopefully should be on it's making a shit load money and I'm in pretty amazing shape. I was already better looking than him.

Did I threaten his position and that's why he's behaved in this manner?

2 upvotestreeclimber1001 year ago

He might be offended you don't follow him back, but are still nice to him in person. Leading him to believe you're fake about the way you act towards him.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

But I don't follow anyone. I follow about 9 motivational accounts and only post motivational stuff. You could have a point

3 upvotesNewbosterone1 year ago

Flake rules are the same for guy friends as for dates. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times, Mr Bond, three times is enemy action.

Flake once? Ok, shit happens. Twice? Might be innocent, but don’t wait for the third time. After two, walk away and see if it matters enough for them to make the next move. If not, you haven’t lost a friend, you’ve shed ballast and kept your dignity.

1 upvotesPortfolioAnalysis1 year ago

Sadly what won't work is to actually call him out "like men" in front of the group, ("hey man why you gotta be an asshole", "is this normally how you speak to your friends?" "what's your problem dude?") becuase then he can backtrack into the "I was just messing with you man" and you come across butthurt. You have to either:

Why won't it work? Don't call him asshole, but maybe if you just sternly ask "Why are you doing this? What purpose do you want to achieve?" and then he tries playing it off with "Just messing brah" you can go "No, you aren't just messing. You know it, I know it. So just explain who here are you trying to impress?" he will answer "Jeesh stop being so butthurt brah" .. "No, don't backtrack now. Answer me, what is your issue? Look in my eyes, speak to me"

And just make the situation so tense that he has to leave the situation or start a fight with you. Either way would work.

Look how Tom Cruise handled this shit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf8UgyYVDEI

Did he bail?

Did he do a witty retort?

Nope. He just confronted the man fair and square.

1 upvotesHeathcliff--1 year ago

Won't work when in front of people, when you "take things too seriously" or use too many words you come across faggy. And as soon as you're the one to escalate the situation you become the agressor. You can do this, but once again, you gotta be alone.

If you do this in front of people it shows a loss of frame; you're falling into his confrontative frame, and you're showing everyone that he's affecting you and it's got to you on such a personal level you've hyperfocused on it. For others this is weakness.

But you can pull it off if you've got the whole "tough guy" aesthetic going on, but if that's the case I doubt you'd be picked on like this anyway.

1 upvotesCallTheCrows1 year ago

At the end of the day only losers talk shit.

0 upvotesllDUNN1 year ago

This is exactly why I generally hate all people. Men can be just as fickle as women.

21 upvotesHencley [OP]1 year ago

Hmm it's situation dependent but why are you being subjected to so many insults? If this is within your control, I'd simply remove the people like this from your life. I cut out some of the more toxic people, ones that were always in a place of negativity.

I found that when I did this, I only had to maintain frame as oppose to full on defend myself from slander. Always stand up for yourself though, you're worth not being constantly insulted bro.

12 upvotesdonkeydodo1 year ago

Pressure flip, counter their jokes with a funnier joke, or agree and amplify

10 upvotesPR0JECT_XIII1 year ago

I work in an environment which was previously like that. HR doesn't have the balls to do anything about it. The insults and ridicules worked in my favour in multiple situations.

  1. The time I had a full blown argument with my manager. Called him out on the lack of leadership and control over the work force. Advised that I tolerated it, (even though they were aware of it without me mentioning it) that at any other work place this would not be tolerated due to employer legal obligations.

Note: a point I will make, know enough employment law that you understand how to make the system work for you. Understand how management operates so you can push the boundaries when required.

  1. Draw the line. There needs to be a line someone does not cross, at work mine is "done fuck with my work environment" this happened and I told the culprits what the fuck was up. With management not willing to do a thing (as previously mentioned) I took it upon myself to sort it out.

Note: do not attempt to threaten anyone if you do not have the courage to follow through. One of the main reason why I went full silverback was I had previously mentioned to management that my work was being effected. If the problem was not solved after my confrontation I would simply tell the owner that I was leaving till the problem was sorted, and i would be arranging a mediator to sit down with the powers that be.

  1. Dealing with insults - people who are consistently insulting you fear you. They see you from a different angle and believe you are a threat. As heath mentioned asking "why they are being so mean?" does not work. If anything, it gives them an opening to attack more.

Note: If someone talks shit about you, learn you reframe it to your benefit.

  • Retaliate - you run the risk of looking defensive
  • Ignore it - you run the risk of looking guilty

Remember: These people are weak, and are trying to bring you down. Learn to master counter attacks. There is a time and place for everything. Sometimes you need to play the long game, allow other to fall into the trap you have set.

1 upvoteschipmunk312421 year ago

Can you elaborate on what you mean by counter attacks and how to do them?

8 upvotesTimWestwood11 year ago

I think there will always be a degree of incongruence when you're 'trying' to assert frame on someone.

I think the best way to (attempt) to frame control guys trying to out alpha you (or even worse being a dick and not even feeling threatened by you) is to constantly flip back and forth between being nice and being an asshole to them. When you can offend a person while seeming completely indifferent I think that's the sweet spot. And the way you come off as indifferent is by being nice to them inbetween insulting them

If you a)bombard a person with insults then that shows too much emotional investment. Or if you b) act like you don't care or are indifferent then that will also wear you down as you are now suppressing your emotions.

7 upvotesenfier1 year ago

This video by Elliot Hulse has a great response to a situation like that.


5 upvotesCharCanDo1 year ago

Get a concrete “fun guy” frame. Be able to be the life of the party without saying anything, and without having to prove it. Then you set the social tone for how the remarks are received, because the momentum of the situation is within your frame.

Whatever you do, do not let the remarks slow you down whatever mentally.

5 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Walk away. People who do this to you aren't your friends and aren't worth your time. You're wasting your time being around these incredibly negative people, and their negativity is poisonous.

4 upvotesdongpal1 year ago

you need to immediately step in and address the guy who started the talk. focus on him and "question the person". hard to describe

1 upvotesYousuflol1 year ago

Agreed. When i first learned about shit test from women. I noticed i always got these shit test from men. I usually use a pressure flip or an agree and amplify. It's really tiring though. I'll just go with your method instead.

124 upvotesHencley [OP]1 year ago

The best method is to truly work on yourself to a point of confidence and then you really do brush off things naturally I was very insecure about my size, so that was always the toughest one for me to "remain cool" while other guys pointed it out. It motivates me in the gym, I've gained a substantial amount of weight and now my insecurities have really reduced with the work I've put in.

1 upvoteswickedogg1 year ago

It's not just about confidence, it's also about being respectful and nice to other people. If someone is trying to insult you, they are obviously feeling threatened so trying to hit back or defending yourself turns the situation into a fight with a winner and a loser. If you instead brush it off, then they feel less threatened and better about themselves. You gain their respect because you weren't mean to them and you didn't try to downplay the fact that they felt threatened by you. When you brush off their insult, it helps them to feel more secure, which is why they would like and respect you.

6 upvotesIvanRussky1 year ago

I love this comment and its basically the TLDR of this guys' "game" (really just a way of being with yourself and others) and also the way I'm choosing to approach how I interact with others. I feel like a lot of guys here wanna win so bad in the short term that they end up losing in the long run. I guess there's no right or wrong way to go about it, just whatever you think is right for you in the context of your life, or in a specific situation.

3 upvotessuzy20181 year ago

Basically, being humble to show you’re doing what you do for yourself and not for anyone else’s approval.

30 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

What happens when you have to deal with a psycho who keeps amping up the tests though? I had an old "friend" like that... He would seem to get angrier the more I would try to pass his tests.

47 upvotesMaliciousMack1 year ago

Telling him to fuck off works just fine. Just like women, not every man is worth your time. Walking away works, or putting up hands, though I still recommend walking....

Usually I'll just ignore them if they don't stop. Eventually they'll throw out enough rope to hang themselves with, and I can flip it around for a laugh at their expense.

20 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

He's no longer a part of my life, but this is a guy who thought I crossed a line when I said "fuck you" when he called me a "douchebag" after he thought I rolled my eyes at him (which I didn't). The dude lived to argue, it was like an impulse for him, and he was always right in his own view.

3 upvotesstarky-kun1 year ago

Dude, cut him out. Soft next him or call the cops. If the above mentioned tactics don't work, jump him with your boys and beat the living shit out of him. But if this guy is a psychopath, he might come back after you jump him. Or he might not, a lot of dudes start to respect you after you beat the shit out of them. But again I would suggest options 1 and 2 first.

11 upvotescuntrolbot1 year ago

If they lose their cool you call attention to it. "Calm down, man" "You seem angry what's bothering you"

10 upvotesKeffirLime1 year ago

Men test each other because we still compete. In terms of biology the qualities men need to compete with each other(for selection) are the same qualities a woman finds attractive.(as the selector)

If you are comfortably able to hold your own against other males a woman instinctively thinks you are high value and a good selection.

Our primate brain still sees sex=baby. If a woman is pregnant she needs a strong man who could look out for her, protect her and the baby.

A man who can hold his own against other men is a great option.

6 upvotesNutman-maddog1 year ago

It is very tiring. I’m on course with four other dudes and it’s constant testing off each others frame. We are all friends but as soon as one of us tries to DEER they get more shit thrown at them. I guess it could be called banter. Definitely makes the course a better time though. I treat it as a frame builder.

5 upvoteswtr6651 year ago

Can you explain the examples?

129 upvotesTheRedPike1 year ago

user reports: 1: Gay title

Well.... let's be honest here.


user reports:

1: Hey you fag put the special mid thing on so ppl know ur an mod

heh You kids are funny. But seriously, doesn't it say "MOD" up there? ^

67 upvotesHencley [OP]1 year ago

Lol wrote it, read it and realized how gay it sounded. My bad.

130 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

This was a shit test from another man, you need to be more confident in your post titles. Hold frame.

42 upvotesAHumilationADay1 year ago

You forgot to tell him to lift, so I got it for ya bro

17 upvotesTheRedPike1 year ago

I showed house female the title. She immediately started laughing. Bah. Can't win them all...

37 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

This is interesting. I have friends who stopped hanging with me because they were insecure of me. I see those very same people following me on instagram. But i totally agree with you about the way some guys give you shit, you gotta play down your success or ignore the shit test like you do with women. A real MAN isnt phased by shit people throw at him

5 upvotes1dayitwillmake1 year ago

maybe they just didnt like you, or find you fun yo be around. It was easier to just stop hanging out with you, than to make their thinking of you official by unfollowing you.

nah must be that their too jealous to be near you

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

He started following me afterwards. I follow about 10 people. and I have about 200 followers. He is one of them. I dont follow him back.

6 upvotes1dayitwillmake1 year ago

You just did everything this post, and yourself claim you shouldnt do.

1 upvotesCasd121 year ago

nah, you gotta play up your success. It weeds out the insecure people from your group

1 upvotesthesquarerootof11 year ago

I have friends who stopped hanging with me because they were insecure of me

Can you elaborate on this ? English is my first language and I've never heard "...insecure of me" in this context. Do you mean they feel insecure FOR you ? Or do they themselves feel insecure because you are more successful than they are ?

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Yes, I realised that they were in fact insecure and my success invited envy and jealousy.

24 upvotesCaptJohnLukeDiscard1 year ago

A&A (or one of its variants like agree & pressure flip) is probably most effective for generating social currency when guys shittest. Keep in mind a lot of guys will shit test each other as a form of respect... especially a group of alpha / hypercompetitive guys. Any of you who played sports in college or above will know what I mean.

Dudes give shit to other guys for all sorts of reasons but mostly because it's fun. Ever been to a dude's poker night? Non-stop shit talking and bashing.

You know who gets the most respect at those places? The guy who isn't phased at all. I'm not saying the guy who responds like a robot (which OP seems to lean towards) but rather the guy who can mix in humility, A&A, pressure flips, etc. all with that calm, cocky air that indicates he really doesn't give a fuck and is confident in his own skin.

It's called frame.

50 upvoteswarwolverinewarrior1 year ago

Lol wait until you learn how to make betas work for you. It's amazing what people will do for you to be able to be around you.

1 upvotesEpicVuze1 year ago

Is there a post or something with more info on this?

10 upvoteswarwolverinewarrior1 year ago

Idk any content but in everyday life you're always competing against other males. Establish dominance. Convince others that you're better. Follow TRP rules: Appearance(lift, posture, dress well), Frame(confidence, stoicism, control) & beta shaming/shit test(puts them down and let's you know who's in control). Pretty much the other side of the fence than OP is talking about.

3 upvotesjon_pat1 year ago

did you have to follow the rules to reach that?

9 upvotesDemiurge_Decline1 year ago

This was one of my weaks spots. I found myself generally never affected by others frames nor was I ever jealous. So when someone tried to AMOG me it generally went over my head or I assumed an immaturity on their part. I did sense that it was alpha leveling but I never cared enough to try to balance it for the most part. Truly indifferent and unaffected but what I did not think about is what it does to OTHER peoples perspective of you. All they see is weakness. Not Stoic. Not strength. Just weakness or beta althought you are the opposite.

Now I am aware of it consciously and their subtle movements as well. Due to my intelligence, I counter smoothly and low level draconian to the point, it normally shuts them down for good. By the time, a mofo tries me I have already gathered enough ammo that I am ready to strike before he even knows he wil try me. How do I know? Weakeness. Insecurity. betaness. he cant help but try me. Its in the eyes. Looks like a woman eyeing the heels of another woman...

Keep in mind, if you find yourself constantly fighing off insults and bullshit from men you call friends, then you have outgrown the tribe. Within a few days most men create a heirarchy or whatever. Generally shit tests are to establish one. So shit tests for months is not that but basically bro abuse, insecurity, etc. This has ONLY happened when I friended* downward not upward.

Note- Physical presence such as serious lifitng and if you are known to practice Boxing or martial arts, 90% of the shits test never happen. People only pick on what they deem weaker. Like lions are known to isolate fawns out of the pack.

2 upvotesPokeylaw1 year ago

Your first half is exactly how I was though out all of middle and high school I just didn't care/give a fuck there were very few time where I actually got mad enough to fight someone bc it gets so fucking annoying to constantly have to prove to everyone that your not a bitch.

1 upvotesYousuflol1 year ago

Keep in mind, if you find yourself constantly fighing off insults and bullshit from men you call friends, then you have outgrown the tribe.

My "best friend" shit-test me with insults and comments everyday and its very annoying. I always have to AA/pressure flip when i can. Although he is a natural shit tester and "wins" most of the time i guess. It's come to the point where I've considered just to cut contact completely. Do you think this is a good decision or too drastic?

5 upvotesDemiurge_Decline1 year ago

Nope too drastic. You need to win this. once he stops or you out a stop to it, then you can leave. if you leave without winning you lose the skill the universe was giving you. plus you will just remeet a worse version of him. its virtual reality. you have to defeat your bosses.

16 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

This is the first time I've heard of the "Shit Test" and it feels like finding a missing puzzle piece. This is awesome.

8 upvotesTrench88221 year ago

How did you find this post without ever hearing of a shit test? Just curious.

7 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

I just recently started following this group

7 upvotesHurricaneHugues1 year ago

Read the whole sidebar material so u can be up to speed on the philosophy, rules of conduct, lingo, and genral FAQ.

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Will do, thanks. I just got banned from another sub for commenting here as well.

1 upvotesHurricaneHugues1 year ago

Yeah, people have a big misconception of what this place is and society led by the female imperative shames any type of male only space. What was your opinion on TRP before coming here.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

I'm newer to reddit, I first learned about TRP from the documentary by the same name. It confirmed alot of what I've already known. Friends of mine have essentially had their lives destroyed by women that by default have the upper hand when it comes to divorce. From what I've seen here so far it seems more of a possitive group for men to build each other up. I personally have worked on my self and learned a lot and I have been using the various communities online to help myself due to childhood issues etc. I've enjoyed trying to help others that reach out for help online.

1 upvotesRiptideRookie1 year ago

I keep hearing about the sidebar. I see the sidebar when I use a computer, how do I see it on mobile? Thanks in advance!

1 upvotesHurricaneHugues1 year ago

Dont use the mobile version. Log intk your browser, and resquest the desktop version. Its what I use.

3 upvotesjon_pat1 year ago

this is the first time i've heard of the internet and it's awesome

114 upvotesLiveAFTSOV1 year ago

I agree with the idea, but your responses dont strike me as holding frame. They sound more like you buckle. I think you're too humble for your own good. I used to be as well. Take pride in your accomplishments as well as insecurities.

IDK too humble imo. but ideas right. I like AA you like redirecting.

70 upvotesHencley [OP]1 year ago

Eh my responses vary. To be honest, the more confident I am with myself the more my response doesn't matter. I take pride in what I accomplish, but that pride ends with me and doesn't need to be justified by anyone else. When you truly accomplish things, no words are needed, they'll know.

-22 upvotesLiveAFTSOV1 year ago

Thats where you and I are different - I like to brag. But you dont get to brag until you win ;)

1 upvotesHeathcliff--1 year ago

Wrong, his responses were solid. Unshook and humble, shows a lot of character and security in himself. I've hung with guys like this and they're always so chill to be around, strong frame, and nothing fazes them.

-30 upvotesLiveAFTSOV1 year ago

Nah, cus I was / am that guy he is talking about.

Too humble. It's boring.

I would go to the gym, old guy "friends" tried to AMOG me, "why arent you lifting 300 lb?"

"Cus I like to keep good form."

It's boring. More fun when I say "cus your mom only weighs 150," then laughing.

Definition of humble: low estimate of one's own importance.

What idiot would wanna be humble. Much more fun to be cocky.

1 upvotesHeathcliff--1 year ago

A lot left to learn. Humility is one of the cornertstone of maturity you you grow, and one of the hardest to accept. So many kids nowadays don't respect it.

Before, you were being "humble " out of insecurity, you were doing so to placate the other guy because you were in his frame. This is different to being humble becuase you're secure in your ability, don't really care what his opinion of you is and you're just defusing the situation.

You can be "cocky" while being humble too, but it's a difficult balancing act. We call it "amused mastery".

37 upvotesmc_md1 year ago

I’m with you on this. Overly cocky reeks of insecurity. Truly confident and secure men are strong but silent men of few words. The lion doesn’t need to roar for anyone to know it’s strength; it is apparent in the very being of the lion.

-15 upvotesLiveAFTSOV1 year ago

We call it "amused mastery".

You say that as if I'm outside the super-secret Red Pill Club that knows what it means.

Yes I agree he doesn't care about the situation but he is still giving himself a low estimation of his self-worth which is the literal definition of being humble.

Being humble is not something to strive for in my opinion because it reinforces your negatives without emphasizing your positives for example...

"Yeah You know me doing me. Amyways... " ---> way better response when his friends question his media Fame.

Kinda like when you post your subreddit at the end of every post. That's not humble or humility at all! It's great!

Every EC should have a blog or something similar.

16 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

I think you're missing the context. He's not going out to pick up girls by being humble, he's passing shit tests from his friends by being humble. If you think you need to brag and act cocky to your own friends, then you are really insecure. You are trying gain position in your social circle by climbing your friends.

0 upvotesLiveAFTSOV1 year ago

if your friends are shit testing you then they recognize you as being higher than they are , or atleast they perceive you that way, so as long as you handle it with strength you can do what you want.

5 upvotesCharCanDo1 year ago

Sounds more like a manic little shit head lol. Are you closer to 15 than 30?

13 upvoteszyqkvx1 year ago

AA you like redirecting.

The word you are looking for is deflecting. It's a great skill. I agree the way he does them sound like he's mildly buckling. Its way better than being defensive. It might even be good since it shows slight humility and balances other things he said. I'm unclear on that.

-11 upvotesLiveAFTSOV1 year ago

Trust me, I know about what deflecting is. I wrote the number 1 guide on this subreddit, and it's now on the front page of the top rated all time posts.

It is a great method, but humility, humbleness.. not necessary or desirable imo

8 upvotesdonkeydodo1 year ago

Humility/humbleness are characteristics of a leader, you can still hold frame and be alpha, you’ll just gain more respect of people if you display these characteristics (hence why leaders inhabit them)

-6 upvotesLiveAFTSOV1 year ago

noo it's a sign of slave morality and mentality

8 upvotesdonkeydodo1 year ago

If you think that, you have a lot to learn and I can only pity the fool.

0 upvotesLiveAFTSOV1 year ago

Google the definition of humble and educate yourself

3 upvoteszyqkvx1 year ago

I like AA you like redirecting.

The word you are looking for is deflecting.

-2 upvotesLiveAFTSOV1 year ago

When you deflect an object, you redirect it's force somewhere else.

Trust me, I know about what deflecting is. I wrote the number 1 guide on this subreddit, and it's now on the front page of the top rated all time posts.

It is a great method, but humility, humbleness.. not necessary or desirable imo

5 upvotescumfortably_dumb1 year ago

ohh come on!!

You are just defending yourself now, we know who you are and what the number beside your username signify.

1 upvotesOperator2161 year ago

Both humility and boasting are less attractive than pride.

3 upvotesNutman-maddog1 year ago

Don’t mistake being ‘humble’ as ‘self deprecation’

1 upvotesAlleycat01 year ago

This, I think you're too humble for your own good

1 upvotesDenver_Luv41 year ago

I agree with the idea, but your responses dont strike me as holding frame

It is also a bad idea to buy expensive cars like Corvettes. That means marketing works on the OP entirely too well. Whether it is "a good deal" or not, it is still overpriced and will not help him get laid, contrary to what advertising tells him, consciously or not.

Geoffrey Miller, Spent, is a good book on this topic. Mr. Money Mustache has many good posts on it.

The best thing the average guy can do is invest his cash.

If cars are this guy's hobby and he likes working on cars and he's buying cars, fixing them up, and reselling them, that's another thing. But for most guys, investing in a total market index fund is the way to go.

10 upvotesLiveAFTSOV1 year ago

lmao. I dont wanna rag on the guys choice of car. Corvettes are nice, wanted on myself for a little.

i like cars for image enhancement

8 upvotesHerefortheTuna1 year ago

corvettes are pretty cheap. You can get a used one for like 10k or 15k and they get good mileage (30MPG on highway) and have cheap insurance

12 upvotesHencley [OP]1 year ago

Yeah mine was about 17k, just bought it to get a tan and drive fast. Funny thing is, the shitty little Miata I had was a total chick magnet compared to this, now it's all dudes lol.

3 upvotesHerefortheTuna1 year ago

Hahah...I drive a Scion FRS and I also have a Saab. The chicks like the Saab better because a Saab says old money...fits my image better anyways because i go to the cape and wear vineyard vines and shit

1 upvotesclamops1 year ago

What year of corvette are we talking about?

1 upvotesHerefortheTuna1 year ago

C5 and def C4. Maybe a C6 with high miles

7 upvoteszyqkvx1 year ago

I am frugal. I finish my plate. But I don't finish my plate when I'm eating with others in a restaurant. I rarely drink, but when I do in a bar with friends, I buy an expensive delicious beer or two. I time my haircuts to be a 3 days or a week before social events (have to get it cut at some point anyway, and I don't care if it's a week early). I know how to hand wash a shirt a day in advance and get it as clean as fuck, much better than a washer. Then when I put on some cologne women smell that signature of a clean shirt, man, and cologne opposed to cologne on top of smell. I don't do these things every time, but strongly gravitate to them, it's effortless, a matter of passive timing.

My extreme frugal side is hidden. I rarely talk voice on my cellphone, so I use tracfone, but knew how to get Verizon as a carrier, still sport a iPhone 6s for now. I'm paid up till 2023 after doubling ~15X down on a deal 4 years ago, which was basically a glitch on their sight they didn't care about. Dropped $700 or so, about the same as 7 months of regular sevice. I did the math. I pay about $7 a month. I have pay $20 a year to go to 24 hour fitness for life, because when I saw the deal, stopped everything drove an hour and 15 minutes, and dropped $1800 for two memberships(me and woman). I could tell you endless other maneuvers like this.

I stopped telling people things like "I pay $20 a year for 24 hour fitness" years ago. It just devaluates me.

My point is don't be like Golem with his ring and be completely focused on money and die with it. Need to know when to drop money and when to go in to go deep. It's a different kind of push and pull

People only know what you show them.

Also google 'utility theory'

1 upvotesebaymasochist1 year ago

Corvettes are actually a great value compared to other sports cars in the market. If the guy wants to have a fun car, that is his choice

7 upvotesRegam451 year ago

I like your post, i find it contains some good points.

I have a question about a situation i found myself in a few days ago.

(In a Hurry? Skip to the last Paragraph)

I was out swimming with two guy and a girl, the two guys knew the girl better than me as they are from the same town. Both guys seem to be attracted to the girl, keept teasing here and showing theyre intresst. Because i'm not attracted to the girl i didn't do any of this. After a comment about touching here ass from one of the guys she called them both assholes. But then went on saying she wouldn't care about me touching here Ass becouse i'm Gay. I'm not gay and i felt like i shouldn't care about here comment. But i couldn't come up with a good response to this "accusation" then and neider when she said it again later.

Long story short: what do you do if someone accuses you of beeing Gay?

8 upvotesHurricaneHugues1 year ago

She said that to test you, because in her female brain it makes no sense for her to be in the company of 3 guys where 2 of them are actively thirsting after her and 1 one doesnt fall for her charrm. Something must be wrong with you, because she herself is PERFECT and should be desired by ALL men.

In a situation like that it depends on if u find her attractive or not. If 2 dudes are thirsting over her already, there is no point in trying hard. Acting nonchalant works in your favor. Never directly compete with other males for a female's attention. If u were interested, u couldve just agreed with her while maintaining strong eye contact and a slight grin or a neutral face "Yeah, Im pretty gay. Come let me feel your ass". If you're not interested, you still agree with her "Yeah Im pretty gay", that way she will leave u alone and u can go back to watching desperate men reach for sea water to qwench their thirst.

13 upvotesebaymasochist1 year ago

It's not an accusation, being gay isn't a crime... It's trying to emasculate you, it's a big shit test.. You gotta show that they can't bother you with such stupid things. Say "If I was gay, I'd be with my hot ass husband right now, not hanging out with you losers"

10 upvotesImAnIronmanBtw1 year ago

I tell them 'to bend over and let me fuck your ass then, faggot.'

Double down.

7 upvotesCharCanDo1 year ago

She called you gay because you weren’t attracted to her, she like many men tried to increase her value in relation to you by lowering yours.

If a woman I was interested in called me gay I’d probably take it as an IOI.

6 upvoteswordsoundpower1 year ago

With the girl I would likely have said, 'That's good because my gay ass is going to spend a lot of time with my hands on it'. Now, she has to allow it or admit she was full of shit. Win.

Other people thinking or implying you're gay? Fuck 'em. Unless they are maliciously trying to hurt you, it's just words.

7 upvoteslazydogg91 year ago

Hey bro.. What books did you read?

11 upvotesMrrpuss1 year ago

Just make sure your intentions are in the right place. These minute perspirations, if you will, or the transpiration of your inner-cadence and frame, are of utmost importance in the rendering of your image by others. What is ultimately used as a means of acute analysis as to the nature of your character, by women, is that which is established "in between the lines," rather than within any individual line.

2 upvotesDemiurge_Decline1 year ago


What is your IQ? You speak like a brain. Thats a compliment by the way.

1 upvotesMrrpuss1 year ago

I really appreciate your compliment, brother. Truly hits me at the utmost sweet spot given that the metric of IQ is a psycho-social indicator for which I have a lot of respect and therein hold a lot of vested intrigue in. Do you have a high IQ yourself, per chance?

2 upvotesDemiurge_Decline1 year ago

129 is not genius level but enough to recognize higher cognition abilities than I have.

2 upvotesMrrpuss1 year ago

I merely asked in order to be able to ascribe, more aptly, if you will, a certain level of worth to your compliment in my regard, if you know what I mean ;) Haha, many thanks bro and props on your high IQ. I need to get mine tested.

6 upvotesebaymasochist1 year ago

If they're trying to make jokes about your success, it's really them trying to convey respect without coming across as ass kissing. Men today are kind of fucked mentally about certain things, like not being able to compliment each other.

The last example of the tinder date guy trying to rip you down is different from the others. He's a leech and you need to get rid of him ASAP

5 upvotesAssDefect201 year ago

I understand your point about male shit tests, but I have noticed that I dont really get them in my life. I mean I get "teased" in a similar way, but its all benevolent, wouldnt compare it to bitches "testing frame". It seems that I could say almost anything, excluding being butthurt. Do these real shit tests come with age?

5 upvotesfurcryingoutloud1 year ago

I worked at a friend's office for a few months, I was not an employee, more like a consultant. Of course this didn't stop one of his exec employees from feeling very insecure about my presence, and he continually kept trying to showboat me.

I never reacted to his slights, except for one time when we were sitting with some very heavy clients at a huge conference table discussing business. The client's daughter was present, and this guy was really in showboating mode. At one point he quipped, "Why do you always wear the same belt?" Most of his jabs were centered around the fact that I always refused to wear a tie. I would wear the suit, but not with a collared shirt.

My answer? "Hmm, I guess I like this belt, interesting, my wife is the only other person who notices what I'm wearing." The owner's daughter laughed so hard he stepped out to "drink some water".

This stopped him cold at this client's offices. But I later had to offer him the chance to beat his hatred out of me. This I did one to one, where no one could see him back down, which he did. I am not a badass, but you'd be surprised how quickly most men back down when you give them the option while you are alone with them.

1 upvoteskealh1 year ago

What do you mean you offer him a chance to beat his hatred out for you?

1 upvotesfurcryingoutloud1 year ago

He could beat me until his hatred was gone. Or try to.

4 upvotesTributeHDD1 year ago

sounds like you hang out with your high school friends too much

4 upvotesGuardian_of_Justice1 year ago

Yes. This is what i wanted to see on this subreddit. For me realizing that everyone has insecurities as a reason behind their shit tests makes me able to hold frame. Not because i want their respect but because i know they are trying to fight their own insecurities and should not be taken personally.

6 upvotesCSS_Programmer1 year ago

I have to admit that I am totally guilty of this kinda thing. I've known about this community for quite a few years, but now I really want to lurk and learn as much as possible.

1 upvotesdontbethatguynow1 year ago

I've find my self shit testing people all the time, always have since i was young and most people fail.

1 upvotesYousuflol1 year ago

dont be that guy now... come on

3 upvotesfrancie-brady1 year ago

OP, have you noticed wether or not you started to shit test other people as well? Also, in your oppinion, who shit test men most: high value or low value men?

8 upvotesHencley [OP]1 year ago

That's easy, you ever see Christiano Ronaldo shit test other soccer players? Brad Pitt shit test his costars? I believe the only time a high value man would shit test is to see if a man was worth of a job, task, etc. Basic training is essentially a shit test for the army.

2 upvotesthesquarerootof11 year ago

Basic training is essentially a shit test for the army.

OMG, don't even get me started on this. I was in the Army for three years, and I was in the infantry. Fuck, the term "shit test" is an understatement

1 upvotesHurricaneHugues1 year ago

Off course guys shit test others, theyll do it on set or at practice to jest.

1 upvotesjon_pat1 year ago

yeah, you only shit test those those who you don't immediately recognize as losers

3 upvotesPezotecom1 year ago

I have a question. The redpilled man also do these shit tests?

2 upvotesHurricaneHugues1 year ago

Nothing wrong with taking playful jabs at other dudes to test their frame and joke around

3 upvotesaBetterNation1 year ago

I love when people bring up other people’s cars when I talk about mine (F type R).

I always say something like, “yeah, but why don’t you tell them how your car is faster than both of ours”. When you do this they’ll know every time they jump in to a car convo they’ll be forced to talk about the pos they drive.

3 upvoteschazthundergut1 year ago

Also agreed. Good examples, and good responses.

The nice thing about male shit tests is that as you pointed out once men establish where they are on the pecking order, the testing usually stops and you may even win a strong ally.

Frame is everything

3 upvotesLeonBarosanul1 year ago

hell yeah this is a basic post, and i don't mean it in a disrespectful way whatsoever. what i've noticed is that mostly low level dudes are trying to give you shit, to elevate their status above yours. i guess they're feeling threatened or something. i think that not taking them seriously, and A&A works wonders

1 upvotesjon_pat1 year ago

yeah, also when they are too low (and obviously too stupid), they have a hard time judging your level, unless you have obvious display of dominance (like a big car, a smoking, big muscles etc)

thats why to be the man, you gotta impress both the retards and the smart ones, all at once

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Good post but what jumped out at me is that you have shitty friends. Men will shit test you but it shouldn't be coming from your friends. Real bros compare notes, support each other, and congratulate each other. They don't tear each other down.

A good rule for TRP is to not spend time with downer people. There are other guys who are like yourself who you can spend time with. I don't know how you'd meet them, though. I'd suggest spending more and more time by yourself and learning to be happy with that.

For me I spend a lot of my personal life alone because I'm just not interested in having friends like yours. Anyone I would have to pass shit tests from I would not consider a friend. Occasionally I meet a genuine guy who is cool and I like but due to the nature of my job I move a lot so these relationships don't last, but they are very valuable.

1 upvotesHencley [OP]1 year ago

This is the area of my life I want to improve the most right now. I'm aware my friends aren't really good friends. I can't depend on them, they bail constantly, very insecure and competitive, and simply don't offer much value. My 2 best friends and I had a falling out a couple years ago and tbh I'm pretty much on my own.

Really wanna pick up some new friends that are genuinely good people. Trouble is it's tough to meet good dudes as it is good women as well I find.

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

It's good that you recognise the issue.

Just be alone for a while, man. It's really not so bad. Try and learn to enjoy it. Try something new by yourself. Join a class, go for a walk/drive, go to bed early and wake up feeling really fresh at 6am. It's a very strengthening experience learning to enjoy your own company and not needing other people, and once you've become someone who's self reliant other quality people will gravitate to you more.

2 upvotestheJMD1 year ago

You must be willing to walk away from pieces of shit to have the strength to attract high value people into your life.

Here’s a hint: you only need one or two.

Keep aiming higher than you are. Due to your success, it’s easy to rest on your laurels high above the losers you used to be.

Be rid of them or they will eventually drag you back down.

“You are who you surround yourself with.”

Life is lonely.

The world is cold.

Embrace it.

1 upvotesInsatiant1 year ago

I rarely comment on these, but great post man.

2 upvotesnonsmokingstang1 year ago

Same here, I never comment but this post really hit me. Keep helpin this community out brother

2 upvotesCompeliminator1 year ago

congrats on the corvette. the c5 and newer ones are absolutely awesome cars.

2 upvotesfrankreyes1 year ago

It's called banter / bantering, some people confuse it with bullying, others interpret it as friendship bonding.

1 upvotesgtphanta1 year ago

No, it's actually trying to establish the pecking order. This kind of thing is often why guys might fight when they first meet and then be best friends afterwards... they just need to figure out who sits on the higher rung of the ladder and then all is right with the world again.

1 upvotesMurkyArtichoke1 year ago

I agree. I also feel a lot of guys likes to put pressure on you by making you uncomfortable in social settings and trying to test your frame. Like, i came to this party once and everyone was sitting around a table. This guy, an acquintance, goes like «hey, where’s sarah?» and then laughs, referencing that i flirted heavily with this girl named Sarah last weekend. It put me off because i didn’t want people to know that, especially all the girls at the party, and i kinda blushed and didn’t handle it well at that time. It made me lose frame and i lost value in the eyes of the girls there probably. It can be difficult knowing what to answer when you get shit like that thrown at you if you’re not sure how ti handle it. I’ve had a girl also do this, just blurting in front of EVERYONE asking me what happened with me and this friend of hers. Best thing is to just ignore it or just laugh it off in my opinion.

2 upvotestheJMD1 year ago

“I didn’t like the test drive”

See ya bitches

1 upvotesjon_pat1 year ago

I also feel a lot of guys likes to put pressure on you by making you uncomfortable in social settings

lol you immediately discredited yourself and when I've read the rest of your post it perfectly fitted the quote

2 upvotesBrain_Beam1 year ago

Dude...dude. havent ever thought about shit test from dudes. just putting what i just read into my perspective, basically youre saying something that cant be refuted. If you address any of those with your initial responses it could drag on. Well played sir.

2 upvotesP4rkrb011 year ago

A couple of things which have worked well with me when other guys shit test and in front of women.

If someone brings up something embarrassing to try and humiliate you in front of others I will acknowledge the embarrassment head on with something like

'I know, how embarrassing that thing was, I was so humiliated'....

This takes the power away from the other person. It shows you can't be shamed and DGAF but in a good way.

If the person bringing this up persists then they prove to the rest of the group it is they who are insecure. At that point I'd then ignore and if they persisted still I'd counter with something like.

'OK, I heard you the first time'

2 upvotesdrh7d31 year ago

This is awesome! I'd like to see more post on handling other men with frame and AMOG. Keep it up dude

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

why do men test other men? because for the sake of mankind, we don't want to deal with men who are pussies. one type of pussy is more than enough

1 upvotesEzaar1 year ago

It’s competition.

I mean, I know who I will follow to the ends of the earth, and I know I can pump myself up and others to take the hill while I lead the charge.

It’s something that has been lost due to the ease in modern life.

3 upvotesiheartrms1 year ago

I don't find guys shit testing me... Hardly ever. I'm new to TRP and still learning to deal with women's shit tests (failed hard just last night). But guys have never gotten to me and I don't even seem to notice if they are testing me. I guess that's good because I can't come off as lacking confidence or being insecure if I don't even notice, right?

But I'm still trying to learn not to fail so badly with the female shit test.

2 upvotesFindTheBus1 year ago

They immediately say "Tyler's (fake name, friend with pretty cool supra) car is way cooler than yours."

I would torpedo the entire conversation with the girl just to make that person look like the biggest aspie on the planet. First thing that comes to mind is probably saying nothing, acting like I expect them to keep going, then asking where the punchline is, then relaxing a bit like I just figured out what's going on and patting them on the shoulder and telling them it's okay, my cousin has aspergers, I know what they're dealing with. Maybe finish up with "Yeah, Tyler's car is a really cool car, isn't it? It's super fast and really shiny. Are you going to go tell anyone else here about it?"

Either I humiliate this cockfag and give them a moment of social embarrassment that pops into their head when they're trying to go to sleep, or I bait them into a fight and fuck them up. Either way, some shit is just so retarded, it must be ended.

2 upvotesthis_weeks_account21 year ago

Well written! Congrats on buying the car you always wanted. For me, that’s a Cadillac. Tell me more about the ‘vette, what year is she?

1 upvotesKworrum1 year ago

Be like stone and let their haterous waves of pissant jealousy break upon your steadfast self-respect. You shouldn't want or need respect from guys who act like that. There are plenty of men who don't get scared about having a small peepee and immediately resort to gradeschool shit talking.

1 upvotesOfficerWade1 year ago

I get shit tests from guys all the time, especially at work. I want to tell them to stop shitting where they eat. Lmao but in reality most guys aren’t this far in their process and would take it as a conflict.

1 upvotesMarcosDomingues1 year ago

Both guys and girls shit test you to see how strong your frame is, but for different reasons.

Girls do it to see where you fit in their hypergamy. Guys usually do it as a means to climb the social ladder.

1 upvotesJcHgvr1 year ago

I once third wheeled my friend on a Tinder date and spent a half an hour hearing him rip on me to the girl I had literally just met.

People on this sub have a weird definition of friends. Me and my friends rip at each other relentlessly all the time, but not in situations like gaming woman.

Also last time a mate of mine asked if my clothes come in man I told him that he "comes" in man enough for all of us.

1 upvotesHencley [OP]1 year ago

Yeah to be honest I have a lot of friends with deep insecurities. This friend in particular was always jealous of me getting girls so he broke up with his GF and started trying to get laid to prove a point. He was threatened the girl was gonna be more interested in me (she asked about my business) and he immediately started going on about "yeah but he never works anymore."

1 upvotestheJMD1 year ago

These people are not your friends.

They are people you cling to to keep yourself safe.

People you used to know.

Now that you have made improvements, you are a constant judge.

You may waste time with them, however be aware that they will rub off on you.

1 upvotesclamops1 year ago

What’s a standard approach when a man shit tests one of your short comings? I have a mild stutter, and some days it’s worse than others, but once in a blue moon people mock it and I usually just laugh with them and not take myself too serious. Is that a correct approach?

1 upvotesShakydrummer1 year ago

Doing and saying stuff like how OP described emulates confidence and inner game. The trick though is while you can show that it's water off a ducks back, you can't let that be mistaken for being passive.

1 upvotesAbeham101 year ago

Solid. I typically answer in a cocky funny fashion like “yeah my famous fiends all stayed in so I had to settle for you guys” (shit grin). Cheers.

1 upvotesbot2561 year ago

TBH, most of those friends you mentioned sound like insecure douches from what you've said. How insecure you gotta be to pick on your supposed friend in order to seem more alpha in front of some random chick. No decent male friend would risk a good friendship over some random skank.

1 upvotesgtphanta1 year ago

It's funny - when I used to go clubbing in my younger days, it was the nights when I dressed up well that I got a whole lot more negative attention from guys. I'd have guys stopping in the street and trying these little tests - "You dress so well you must be gay?" and stuff like that, but when I didn't dress well, I never encountered any of that.

1 upvotesbot2561 year ago

Sure, we guys could be really insecure, It's just I haven't really experienced that too much from my closest male friends or at least not in public. Hmm, not sure if they are decent guys or if I am just not enough of a competition to them :D

2 upvotesgtphanta1 year ago

Normally with your closest friends, that social order has either been well established as you were growing up, or you're now equals due to that bonding.

1 upvotesSKRedPill1 year ago

Shit tests from women are often cute in retrospect to the ones from men - for all that we talk of them here, these shit tests aren't really strong, just persistent and the end goal is to filter for co-operation. Shit tests from men are for realz...it's an actual contest -- your position in the group, the power game and at times even your personal safety is at stake. While holding frame is the same, shit tests from men have to be dealt with far more seriously.

Women can keep shit testing you like how you want to keep poking them all the time. With men, their shit tests in some way are like a declaration of war and needs to be brought to a conclusion. The difference between women's and men's shit tests is the difference between continuous pokes and tickles vs a hard sucker punch, with similar consequences to the future of the relationship.

If anything, being able to hold off shit tests from men dramatically boosts SMV as it means you can rise to the top of the ladder.

1 upvotesnm8ball1 year ago

What books helped you understand shit tests or understanding conversations?

1 upvotesdngktsu1 year ago

To sum it up, have genuine confidence in yourself. Make progress. Get more confidence. Then you won’t give a shit about what turd is thrown at u, t wouldn’t be worth your time dawg

1 upvotesTunedtoPerfection1 year ago

Dude the car thing is so hilarious to me, it's something I learned VERY early on as I've always had modified, "cool" cars. Every time someone finds out about the car I drive it's an instant switch to them telling me about how much better every other car is.

Never get defensive about things like that because it shows your ego is locked up in other peoples opinions of you.

1 upvotesMerwebb1 year ago

Dude am at that point, just seeing as some interactions that I have with friends is about they trying desperately drag me down in front of people. Fuck that. Im tired of it.

Just in anger phase about it

1 upvotesICurseYourCat1 year ago

I’ve run into guys who obviously read TRP and they try to shit test everyone and their fucking mothers. It’s fucking cringe.

1 upvotesthepontiff_1 year ago

I’ve peeped that shit out too over time.

1 upvotesb2daoni1 year ago

Chuckle off the insult. Be humble. Neither confirm nor deny. Defending yourself against the insult loses your frame. FRAME above all... at least this is what I am inferring from your post.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

1 upvotesobey_kush1 year ago

You mentioned you readed some books, which were these?

1 upvotesFMPTheStrategist1 year ago

I saved this post !!! This is gold.

1 upvotesslurmfactory1 year ago

Great fuckin post. Love the examples

1 upvotesAceofRains1 year ago

I went to a little dingey gay resort motel this past weekend. I had left town to attend a seminar for work. While I was there I was looking for people to socialize with. Suddenly a girl shouts out in the open (but also at me) oh no my friend is leaving me! Intrigued by her obvious call, I went over to socialize with her. Within 5 minutes she added me on FB. She introduced her friend, a twink with a mesh shirt and gold necklace that said “Trophy”. The girl was at least an 8 and is an absolute 10 in her profile pics. Though I’m gay I would fuck her before her friend any day. (Matter o fact I’m sitting on this one for a rainy day.) She tells me embarrassing stories about him and their friendship, and I explain why I’m in town and staying at the resort. Eventually we finish our drinks, and she sends her friend to get more drinks. They don’t know what the want so I decide for them a vodka cranberry. I could see her instantly more turned on to me for making the executive decision to choose the drink and she reacted just as I antipicated, very pleased with my choice. When the twink came back to the table, started getting really petty with me. “Why are you still here.” Ignored him until the 3rd time I leaned in real close and said “because I’m u/aceofrains, bitch”- and resumed chitchatting with the girl. He starts getting antsy and tries to pick up the bar table and throw it at me. As soon as it moves an inch I put my foot on the base and give him a cocky smile. She’s like, “omg friend you need to chill out.- but I still love you you’re still my bestie.” After that I retort, “Aww you’re hella loyal, if I were straight you’d definately be my wife.” At which point the twink totally flips his shit and grabs her and drags her away. Was hilarious little experiment on my part. Insecure gays get overprotective of their BFF and will try to put you down in front of them.

1 upvotesHencley [OP]1 year ago

Haha that is a dynamic I have never thought about but a hilarious story. Fuck that guy, I can just seen his defeat after trying to move the table and you stepped on it.

1 upvotesAceofRains1 year ago

At the end of the day, gays are still men. Our female friends are almost like girlfriends that we don’t fuck. Most of these guys exasperate feminine qualities that are naturally minimal at best within them. Drag is hilarious to me because everyone assumes it has to do with trans or men wanting to be women. Quite the contrary, it’s men who love men, making fun of women.

1 upvotesHurricaneHugues1 year ago

"If I told Leonardo Dicaprio I thought his acting sucked, do you really think he'd defend himself to me? Of course not. Being able to hold frame in front of women can get you laid, being able to hold frame in front of men can get you respected. One is much more satisfying to me to be honest."

If u said publicly that Trump is a bum, he would get on twitter and call u dumb, talk abut your low IQ then say that Michael Jordan is better than you.

1 upvotesRoman_Workout1 year ago

Only if you were high value enough, though.

1 upvotesgowatchanimefgt1 year ago

If you guys want the answer to knowing how to be the real well respected alpha in the group, feel free to pm me. None of this holding frame bullshit while being roasted and slowly dying inside.

Btw you think the cool kid in high school gained respect by taking shit and smiling and pretending like it’s nothing? No he defends himself

5 upvoteslololasaurus1 year ago

If someone else having a cool car (both of the examples are indeed pretty cool as cars go) makes you die a little inside then the problem is you, not the person roasting you.

It's a car. A Tesla is way faster than both of them, and there are cooler cars from a historical standpoint (not so much speed and history usually) at lower price point. There's ALWAYS someone bigger, better, faster, thinner, more beautiful significant other, wealthier, more humble, more proud, more alpha, more whatever. It doesn't matter. Stop measuring yourself against that nonsense.

0 upvotesastronaut_fili1 year ago

Read a part where you said Confidence is Key rather than what you say. You oughtta be Dominant, & Confident to slip anything through. Despite what's said, or done. You can easily play off the "Old You" with Major Confidence. Thing is, today's society is focused on the Negative Aspects of a Situation, and it all varies on How You Handle It. How meaning Your Attitude, Voice(Metaphorical,Metaphysical), and Persona. This Post is Great, Respiked up My Alpha Male Tense. Two days ago felt like I was getting shitted on by my two cousins. Turns out, saw the bigger picture, these two kids are straight up Losers who make Others Feel Shitty. Shit ain't Cool, Yesterday, Totally Dominated One of Them in Verbal Conversation. Now, i'm Sticking to Being My Alpha Badass Self. Unphaseable, Unshakeable, Unstoppable.

-1 upvotesastronaut_fili1 year ago

Read a part where you said Confidence is Key rather than what you say. You oughtta be Dominant, & Confident to slip anything through. Despite what's said, or done. You can easily play off the "Old You" with Major Confidence. Thing is, today's society is focused on the Negative Aspects of a Situation, and it all varies on How You Handle It. How meaning Your Attitude, Voice(Metaphorical,Metaphysical), and Persona. This Post is Great, Respiked up My Alpha Male Tense. Two days ago felt like I was getting shitted on by my two cousins. Turns out, saw the bigger picture, these two kids are straight up Losers who make Others Feel Shitty. Shit ain't Cool, Yesterday, Totally Dominated One of Them in Verbal Conversation. Now, i'm Sticking to Being My Alpha Badass Self. Unphaseable, Unshakeable, Unstoppable.

-1 upvotesastronaut_fili1 year ago

Read a part where you said Confidence is Key rather than what you say. You oughtta be Dominant, & Confident to slip anything through. Despite what's said, or done. You can easily play off the "Old You" with Major Confidence. Thing is, today's society is focused on the Negative Aspects of a Situation, and it all varies on How You Handle It. How meaning Your Attitude, Voice(Metaphorical,Metaphysical), and Persona. This Post is Great, Respiked up My Alpha Male Tense. Two days ago felt like I was getting shitted on by my two cousins. Turns out, saw the bigger picture, these two kids are straight up Losers who make Others Feel Shitty. Shit ain't Cool, Yesterday, Totally Dominated One of Them in Verbal Conversation. Now, i'm Sticking to Being My Alpha Badass Self. Unphaseable, Unshakeable, Unstoppable.

-5 upvotesVanessaLonelyNoMore1 year ago

I always make fun of people before they even get the chance to make fun of me. It's just so easy - like negging. Or just having fun at their expense. That's how I entertain myself. All you have to do it to playfully make it personal, basically attacking their credibility or whatever weird thing they own/do. And people always do dumb things or buy dumb shit or spend too much. Here are the examples: "I thought you were supposed to be big and strong now??" - answer - yeah, I know. Wanna wrestle? Playfully grab them and try to throw them over the shoulder. I'm 6'4" by the way. Used to wrestle in highschool. "Uh oh aren't you too famous to be around us?" - answer - I know. I shouldn't even be talking to you now. Do you know anybody smarter than yourself? Can you introduce me to them? This works so well on girls - do you have any friends who are hotter than you? Would you introduce me to them? No girl would even admit that her friends are hotter than them. Lol
"Tyler's (fake name, friend with pretty cool supra) car is way cooler than yours." - I know. What type of car do you drive? That rust bucket? Come on, man. Have some respect for yourself. It looks like it's gonna die on you any day. I like to just mess with people - if I see a line up at the bar, I'll just cut in front of someone and tell them "I'll just cut in front of you guys, cause the line is long and I'm really thirsty for vodka. You know those Russians...". And then proceed to tell them a story about how I served in the Russian army.
If you're at the store, make fun of people buying weird stuff like stuff loaded with sugar or coke. Or tell them red meat isn't healthy. Or that vegetables are sprayed with pesticides. But that's what giving it taste.
One time I had a coworker who liked to use a lot of perfume, I complimented her on a nice perfume and asked her if she poured the whole bottle on herself. She remembered that for a long time. Lol.
At the bar, told some girl the other guys were checking her out and convinced her to go say hello to them. I'm a big practical joker.
Once my boss left his cigarette on the table. So I cut some nails and stuck them into his cigarette. He came, lit up and... entire office smelled like pig being roasted with a torch. I was laughing so hard when he yelled at his other coworker thinking it was him.
Another time I parked a forklift blocking the washroom door when my coworker was inside... then replaced his chewing tobacco with steel shavings.
Oh man, it's so much fun messing with people.

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