Intro
I’ve begun reading Red Pill literature some time ago, and am currently going through The Rational Male Vol. 3: Positive Masculinity. Though the book is mainly aimed at Red Pill fathers, there is very good wisdom in it that applies to all, such as the 5 emotions that you shouldn’t show a woman.
Body
The emotions are: anger, rage, fear, despair, and despondency or depression. These were derived from a quote that Rollo used in Chapter 2. It states:
‘Women cannot bear to see a Man experiencing negative emotions such as extreme anger, rage, fear, despair, despondency or depression for extended periods of time.’
Of course, there is good reasoning for this. The reasoning is so simple that it essentially encompasses all of the emotions listed. We all know this by now, but it bears repeating: you are the rock, the captain of your ship. A strong leader very rarely will show these emotions. If these emotions are shown, it’s very, very brief, and very rarely seen again.
If the captain of the ship crumbles at the sight of one mishap, gets extremely angry, and demonstrates rage for a long period of time, his shipmates will begin to question his level-headedness and ability to focus on the task at hand (leading them).
If the captain cowers in fear, his shipmates will lose courage in their ability to weather the storm.
If the captain shows despair, despondency, or falls into depression, his shipmates will be left with no hope, and may end up abandoning ship.
If you ever end up feeling these emotions, ensure that they are VERY short-lived and that nobody actually sees you feel this way. It will hurt your image in their minds. They will begin to question the faith they put into you, and then you’ll be fighting an uphill battle to win their faith back.
Lessons Learned
- Be a rock in the storm. You must be the one that others can confidently lean on for support during times of struggle, knowing that you won’t budge and will provide support.
- Lead with conviction and confidence. You must have faith in what you’re doing and the choices you’re making, and follow through whole-heartedly.
- It’s better to feel these emotions in private than in public. We must maintain a rock-hard frame. People seeing us feel these negative emotions will put dents in the armor we so carefully constructed. This applies to not only women, but also the men in our social circles.
Thank you to Rollo Tomassi, whose books on The Red Pill have been absolutely invaluable and educational to not just me, but to all of those who look to unplug.
Oh, so three emotions: anger, fear, and despair.
Or more simply, any outsized emotion.
Except passion and excitement. Women generally appreciate a man who has a deep sense of passion.
Don't let this post lead you to conclude that emotionless statues are the ideal male attainment. Stoicism means not allowing your emotions to control you. Stoicism does not mean never having or displaying emotions.
She's excited by your excitement. And excitement leads to attraction. You can't be exciting if you're emotionally dead, inside or outside.
This post warns of displaying emotions that show you are weak and reactionary. Anger, fear, and despair are all reflections of your inability to handle or cope with your environment, a demonstrated failure of your ability to handle the shit test that is life.
But don't become one of those "stoic" assholes who don't know how to have fun and enjoy things in life or who don't know how to positively express the enjoyment they feel.
I like this. From time to time, I like to think of a person or character that best fits the type of person I can see as an ideal RP. I know Jame Bond comes to mind a lot, but this is hands down where he would fail.
It's one thing to have the self awareness and discipline to not allow your emotions to run wild and out of control. It's another thing to not allow yourself to feel emotions at all.
A huge mistake many people make is that they stop the analysis at feeling emotions. Period. So their version of the "ideal man" is someone with autism or some other severe personality trait disorder.
And it's funny you mention 007. While the character of James Bond makes for wonderful fiction, real intelligence agencies, like Britain's actual real life MI6, have stated that "James Bond" would never get the job in real life.
Run a google search on James Bond real MI6 getting the job; and you'll find several articles, including an interview with the MI6 agency chief, saying that Bond is too emotionally stifled to be a productive asset in real life.
So the moral of the story is that you still need to have the ability to feel and express a normal, healthy range of emotions. There is wisdom in maintaining self awareness so that your emotions don't overrun you or control your behavior, but that doesn't mean it's ideal to become an emotionless robot.
Very good point, I am guessing this rules out a cary Grant as well? Out of curiosity, what kind of well known character or person out there would you fit into a best role model situation of TRP?
I'm no fan of robotic stoics either but its understandblae how newbs start that way.
Its probably easier for boys raised on soy who were taught to show and celebrate their emotions to first go stoic than calibrate towards a more healthy masculine display of emotions
Stoicism is not a lack of emotion, it is control over emotion.
I thought anger was attractive tf
Excitement in what context? Say I’m at a bar and I’m really excited I’m talking to a girl Or say I’m excited about skatingboarding and that I just landed a cool trick at the skatepark I brought her to
I would abstract it even further and say it is ALL about how you choose to relate to acute or chronic pain of any kind.
There are plenty of healthy ways to express. You need to show patience and restraint until the 'right time.' it ain't easy...
Never lose your cool. You'll never get it back.
I can't think of any situations where being depressed, anxious are of any benefit to anyone.
Still, it's true. I used to be quite open about it with work and with my wife. It did not help. When the time comes, your weakness becomes the target.
We do not live in a society which fixes male problems like these and you must take steps in diet, exercise and meditation in order to fight back.
If you need drugs to support you then do that too but I would advise against it where possible.
Just get up and keep fighting. Treat emotional pain as the biggest of shit tests, one which may last years. Continue to grow despite it- with the aim of becoming much more than it can ever be. Make it less significant by being more significant. Fight, fight fight- never give up.
You have the opportunity to fight and win, beat the biggest monster of all. It can be done and the experience gained from having done so will serve you well in future.
But no, don't tell her, tell a man or a professional instead. Sympathy shags do not go well long term if you are hurting either- but sex is sex I suppose- just be careful of not falling down and following the blue road to beta hell to compound it all.
This is actually a good, very good fucking answer. This gives steps how to implement, NOT the usual philosophy of what to do. The hard part is getting the work done. I’ve been reading RP, MRP, etc. and have been acting accordingly, but I still need to walk the talk more and more. Mahalo!
Acting on what you learn is one of the greatest challenges for all humans.
Now it is easy, you can't unread what I just typed. Now you have no excuses. In some cases, depression can be linked to having an internal "temper tantrum". Getting the work done is very easy, one step at a time. The hard part is to stop lying to yourself and get your ass off the couch.
You don't need steps to implement that. Google anything you don't know how to do, and stop hamstering up excuses because you have to do things in a way you don't want to.
I told my closest male friends about my family problems and they hadn't helped me either, instead their views of me changed as someone vulnerable and weak (not that they showed it to my face). In the end you've got to deal with your trials all by yourself.
I have to call bullshit here.
Their views changed to the actual truth, what is wrong with that? They aren't obligated to fix you the way you 'want' to be fixed. You had an expectation to be treated a specific way because you opened up about your issues?
Lone wolf mentality is equivalent to a temper tantrum. Learn how to play with others if you want them to include you in their play.
Very true. People will just attack your vulnerability, saying depression isn't a reason to be late, though it may cause you to waste much more time than you planned, or that it's not a big deal though they have no idea the thoughts and perceptions you've been dealing with.
Better to just traverse the path alone, than to let others know of your whereabouts on the path or which path you're leading.
CBD oil helps me chill and is completely legal. I would recommend trying it and finding a good dosage that takes the edge off. I mostly use it at night after a long week on weekends but it’s been fantastic for me and I avoid the Pharma “anxiety/depression drugs” that mess with a ton of other stuff.
CBD oil helps but sometimes I feel like I’m too chill and muted.
Fantastic answer. Do what you need to do in order to take control of your environment for yourself. You're worth conquering the monster for yourself. Women can't take that responsibility for you, nor do they want to.
All I can add is you can tell a like-minded man. Not all men will be fond of you becoming superman. Even Superman kept his secret from other men.
Once you are away from like minded self destructive types, you notice healthier people like you to talk to. In this respect, it does get easier when you start to be able to trust yourself- hanging with other people who trust themselves instead.
I think this is all very true. If you're angry or pissed, express it to the weight bench. I've made the mistake of getting emotional with spouse or other female friends. Whether they tell you or not, it lowers your value to them. That primitive beast inside them sniffs you out as carrion that is soon to go to the wolves.
My wife often tells me to express all my feelings to her. In the past I did that all too much.
Pretty quickly I've found that keeping all that shit in causes her to be more deliberate in pleasing me.
Clearly she doesn't know wtf she actually wants.
Indifference.
It is the gateway drug that makes them work harder to invoke the extreme emotions, the hard drugs.
Very nice observation right there... made me think. I’m serious too. Some real shit
Had a plate, she was dealing out blowjobs like a pharmacy handing out samples. I upgraded her (mentally) in my group, she could tell my "interest" in her had more chemistry than before. Blowjobs stopped!
Removed some time spent with her, went out with some others that were shelved. Her spidey senses went off and mystically the blowjobs returned.
Call it dread, time management, DGAF attitude, etc.. All that mattered was the bitter taste of the lowered emotional value. Expressing anger like telling another guy to back off is not the same as reacting to the little shit they do over time to annoy us. If her behavior is causing "negative" emotion in yourself, time to sit on the bench and take a break. If you don't, you will fall deeper into her frame and begin to act on raw emotion and not rational decision making.
You don't have to "ghost" to remove time. IMO the raw "disappearing act" is a beginners step to understanding the power and value of your time. Just simply dial down and remove the time, they will want an excuse of why from you, don't give her one. This is where guys feel obligated to "explain their actions" or seek validation for the action. Simply tell her that your time needs focus elsewhere for a bit. Your abundance mentality will determine how strong you come off at this moment.
No shit. The blue-pill pop psychology that passes for marriage counseling all but ensures that your marriage erodes.
Another lie I spent 30 plus years basing my actions on.
I seriously wany to take some of these young bucks under my wing and show them the fucking matrix they're in.
My wife and I came close to marriage counseling on a few occasions, but I think the tiny part of me that wasn't completely plugged in prevented me from taking the leap. As I've begun unplugging, I sometimes think back to those days and wonder if the counselor would have pulled me into a separate room and said "Man, you need to grow a pair of testicles right now and stop listening to her ever-shifting set of issues. You be the steady one and observe her emotional writhing with a sympathetically amused smirk.".
I'm really just happy that I found the pill at all.
I've enough of my own frame now to know where my boundaries really are, and that I can execute if needed.
A woman asking you to open up is just a shit test. She's vetting you for weakness.
I can see that being the case often, but my wife, I could have sworn she is sincere.
But also I spent two years being a piece of ignorant shit.
The proof is in the fucking pudding.
I don't think that's always true man. In fact that's fairly retarded tbh.
Nah, it's not a deliberate malicious thing at all. They think they want you to open up all your emotions, but once you reveal those they can't help but feel a dip in attraction over time. Think about it from a male perspective too, do you want to hear your boy bitching and crying all the time? No. The stable and upbeat people are always most attractive.
If your told your boy, "hey man whats going on with you lately" and that turned into a waterfall of negative outpouring all the time you would eventually start avoiding that dude more often.
I don't think in any way it is a shit test. I think BP conditioning in society has ingrained into women the desire for the "thoughtful, caring, open, and emotional" man, they think they want that, but they usually end up repulsed.
Your outlook on women is really sad. You've constructed a persona to "women" to provide you with a rule book because you're scared what might happen without one. Deep down you know there is no such things as a women's way to act, the disparity within women is going to be larger than that between women and men. Why are you afraid to act to a situation with an individual?
Hi.
Read my comment at the bottom. My analysis is predicated on the self interest of human nature as its sole motivation and not exclusive to women.
Females do, however, have a unique biological imperative that sets her apart from males. That is, they are dependent on the male for protection and have unique evolutionary adaptions to aid in selecting fit males. This is known in this sub as a "shit test".
For future reference, when challenging a claim someone makes, use logic and reason and not imaginative ad hominem assumptions about what the other person is like.
I think calling your post 'analysis' is a bit rich, even if it is true that women have 'unique evolutionary adaptions to aid in selecting fit males' what makes you think a "shit test" is one of those? And, how do you react that your assuming "women" will all act in a similar fashion when asking to express your feelings, sounds more like you projecting your experience than any sort of analysis.
Oh young one, she knows exactly whats she wants and those two things to not contradict one another. Wanting you to open up is true but NOT for the reasons she'd say/you'd think. It's to test your mettle. Is he secure? On track? Am I safe and well taken care of? Or is there weakness I need to be aware of so I can plan an exit?
And then being less response to you when you do open up is not because you "opened up" but because of the content of your "opening up." If when you opened up the message was "nah, all really is well" then you'd win both games.
Yeah, I was pretty fucked up. Things I told her did not turn her on at all, that's for sure. While I'm still having frame issues, I have much more agency now.
Now I'm angry. At myself, at her, at the social lies propagated everywhere.
But when I'm not angry, I feel fucking good. I'm chatting on Bumble and flirting with women out in the world. I'm starting to get my financial and work shit together. I'm exercising and eating much better. Feels better than I've felt in over 5 years.
There is a distinction between showing emotion and dwelling on it. Showing emotion humanizes you and helps the girl relate more. Dwelling on some negative shit is just toxic. Nobody, woman or man, wantd to be around an angry, toxic person for extended periods of time.
Actually this clears this u so much. I agree with this. Wallowing in emotional distress would actually make you look unreliable because in a sense, you are. Showing emotion itself is something I feel everyone needs to do m, just not drown in it.
Speaking on emotions, in general, for myself I feel, and when I say I feel, I mean I FEEL emotions deep down in my bones and soul. Even when I tell myself, in my own mind during the experience, that it’s just an emotion and be the rock in the storm, stoic to a fault, my eyes refuse to obey. I lift, meditate, good diet, have a good job and a good sex life. Anyway else to control this?
Try anti-estrogen foods
https://www.healthline.com/health/low-testosterone/anti-estrogen-diet-men#-seeds
For me the key is to embrace the raw emotions instead of trying to control them. Emotions pass, but are trying to teach us something... usually something our subconscious is trying to convey to us. Go with the emotions and you’ll find they resolve quicker than if you fought them, and if they resolve then you don’t have to deal with them again. As my mentor once told me, “It’s when you give up the need for control is when you get the control.”
This is plain facts. But maintaining control in such a situation means maintaining frame. Do not appear to be externally moved by the experience, but deep down you are working and shifting your habits/character.
I'm like you. Sucks.
Really plummeted myself down with oneitis with one girl. They are all the same.
Find something to release it all into. Whether it be music, video games, novels, movies ect. Just get that shit out of you and put it into something else. It doesn't have to be productive, but find where to put that shit in and leave it there for no one else to see.
That works if you are able to prolong the emotion, and channel it somewhere else. However in the heat of the emotion as its generated, and action (and eyes) takes it’s course, that’s a bit more difficult and what I’d like to control. Any advice for that?
Excuse yourself to express in private?
It's not about not showing the emotions it's about not giving into them. What women want is a courageous guy who will act rightly for what he wants. Showing fear or anger or depression and doing the right this anyway can be a testament to ones power. And oppositely, hiding ones anger and fear could be a sign of insecurity. If this man is such a good suitor than why does he feel the need to lie?
Better yet, it's about not HAVING these emotions. But not hiding them. She looking for a true assessment of your character. If you put in the hard work of becoming more confident in yourself, learning to counter your anxious thoughts, getting used to what scares you through experience to it, then you won't just give he the impression of being a more calm guy. You will BE a more calm guy. And honesty is easier than lieing in the long run.
All my arguments come from Mark Manson's "Models: Attracting Women through Honesty". I don't know if ya'll will agree with me based on the comments here but I had to share my perspective just in case.
I normally eschew commenting on regurgitatations, but you're speaking from the abstract position of someone who has never suffered years of depression resulting from severe PTSD.
I'm not saying Rollo is wrong, I'm simply cautioning you not to parrot something you've read without living through it..
I have suffered from years of depression, but not as a result of severe PTSD.
Also, I have lived through basically all of these emotions, namely anger and depression, with and without women seeing. I’ve gotten angry at a fuck buddy for something once, and that was the end of any future booty calls. I had depression while I was in a fake long-distance relationship my sophomore year of high school and, in conjunction with the fact that we were long-distance, whatever feels she had for me quickly evaporated into thin air.
I’ve lived through it. Maybe not to a more intense degree, but I’ve certainly lived through it and have experienced it first-hand to be able to confirm that it’s true.
Yep, i'll join you. Had an emotional outburst for an extended period of time that showed those exact emotions. Needless to say, the relationship slowly went downhill from then on. It's a one way ticket to betaville.
+1. Went through a depressed phase years ago and mistakenly aired out my dismal suicidal views over and over and what do ya know, the chick expressed attraction to another guy who wasn't bitching about how life sucks every day. Shocking.
Sorry, but you can't compare (undeveloped inexperienced brain) childhood chemical chaos to actual adult syndromes. Girls will absolutely be turned off by a guy being weak over "insecure" shit, as they should be. Depression that comes from severe regret and realizations cannot be put into the same basket.
Read the last paragraph of that comment. I’m not even close to comparing it.
Also, I’m well aware that girls are turned off by insecurity and weakness... i wrote a whole post on it (this very one...)
Anger is not a bad emotion, just be angry when you have a good reason to.
“Justified” anger is a path to many abilities some would call unnatural. Have you heard the tragedy of darth plagues?
Care to elaborate? What unattractive abilities are you referring to?
The problem with anger is when you show it "for extended periods of time." That's gamma behavior. You can't trust an angry person.
Who wants to impress women so much to repress their emotions ? I think a reality check in what you value is in order. If you’re mad get mad. If you’re sad be sad.
Yeah man, feelings are like children. You don’t wanna throw them in the trunk but you don’t want them driving the bus either.
Yeah I always view feelings as signals that something more complexed is bothering me. I feel them but usually talking to people is really just me talking through my own thoughts to understand better, and take some insight here and there.
I think if a woman looks down on you for feeling pain, why exactly do you even have them around. Being able to deal with the physiological stuff and sex are the two main reasons I’m even in a relationship. If you can’t get help through that stuff, there really isn’t a reason to not spin plates.
Beware of your ego telling people your story or getting them to agree with you. There’s a saying around miserable people and they say misery likes company. So if you get caught arguing with your girlfriend or whatever then, maybe take a step back and say this isn’t our problem this is an inner child problem I’m dealing with and I need to asses this first. The more you can begin to catch an upset and remind yourself that you’re never upset for the reason you think the more you can detach from these behaviors and say oh there I doing that silly thing again, without judgment or calling yourself names...
Exactly. Feelings are a tool: a way of measuring what's going on internally and externally. At that point, you want to engage your intellect in order to get to the bottom of the issue.
I think its more relevant in an LTR or cohabiting, not gaming women that are disposable.
If you're horny, do you immediately watch some porn? If you're hungry, do you grab some fast food and eat as much as you like? If you're bored, do you start playing videogames and ignore all responsibilities?
Controlling your emotions is a discipline. Discipline is the key to freedom in the modern world.
Absolutely, you need to limit impulses in favor of strategy.
He doesn‘t say you shouldn‘t get mad or sad at all. He says you shouldn‘t show it to anyone, especially women. Which I personally deem to be clever. You should get to a point where although you feel these emotions, they only rarely show up and are usually short-lived. It‘s not about supressing them, but to become a man who minimises these emotions in his life effortlessly and unconsciously.
Effortlessly yes but unconsciously?
I think it‘s imperative for being effortlessly to be unconsciously, since you‘re spending (mental) energy in form of attention on something as soon as you do it consciously.
It's not about impressing, it's about quality and durability of a relationship. I had a bad habit picked up somewhere to mimic their mood. In short, didn't go well.
I made sure to mention this in Lesson Learned #3. Better to feel it all in private
Emotions are weakness and shouldn't be showed nowhere. Only in private
This is probably the surest path to depression besides child abuse
It's reality, the fact that you and most others dislike it doesnt make it less true. You can of course chose to ignore it but it wont serve you any good long term.
Eh I've had depression and psychosis and the fastest path for me to happiness again was leaning on others for support while I rebuilt
My sex life is also the best it's ever been so I don't really have any concern that it's damaging my prospects with women
I hope you learn how to express emotions while maintaining strong frame because it's very liberating :)
B-but emotions are beta male!!
Just hide your emotions bro theory
I think your actions are more important than what you feel. You can communicate your feelings with your SO, but what you actually do about it is what affects your reputation.
And time is also important. Get angry or depressed when something happened and communicate your emotions as long as you clearly show that you have a plan and you execute it.
They are woman after all, they can feel that something is up. And you hiding it completely is what will ruin your relationship.
Is it beta if I pee if I haven't peed all day?
If you want a girl to drop you, just show them you are depressed. They will drop you IN THE FUCKING SPOT. Even the most obsessed in-love that worship you, will drop you like a hot potato when you show signs of depression, and they will not only drop their boyfriends, but their friends and coworkers too. It's like pesticide for relationships.
I snap very easily. If someone says something stupid or ignorant, I go berserk in my response. I've always said I wanted to be a chill, leveled guy. But, it's fairly hard when your life is ass and no one understands it. I remember last year in school. My family is poor, so I have a really cheap prepaid phone. Can't download apps or anything. Drops texts all the time. But, anyway, this kid wanted to contact me and I straight up said, "I don't have minutes". She says back, "Then, just buy some". I literally wanted to strangle her right there. I screamed, "you dumbass, do you think it's that easy?". I was pissed. The cable was cut off that exact week with a project due. No internet, no television. I had been hiding how distraught I was all week. Just for someone to say, "Just buy minutes". Looking back, it's small moments like this that make me unhappy.
However, it's not anyone's job to know what's going on in other people's lives and be sensitive to it. It's my job to handle my own life carefully and not let it overwhelm myself. Focus on me. Focus on leaving lower class and ensuring I never come back to it.
Bro, rich kids don't have a clue what it's like to struggle. That was a valid response.
Exactly. I can relate to this, as I was the same. Explosive, short-tempered, rude to others because I was also being rude to myself without realizing it, and everytime I felt like I was falling deeper and deeper into the bottom of the ocean.
Now I'm way more chill and relaxed and focused, can still improve of course, but life right now is sailing pretty well and man, the difference is night and day.
Be confident that you can do it, cause if I could do it, you can too. Just like OP stated, being/making yourself resilient as a rock in the storm is one of the things that'll benefit you the most on the journey of life. Work, improve yourself because conquering the adversities will pay off.
I was you. You are correct in your assumption. This is the gift I give you that I did not get. I was not told My frustration was valid so I felt bad for being angry and tempered. However, just know that your focus is right - leave the poor class but what you want to do is this - make sure you also leave that attitude or nuke is as best as possible.
I left poorness behind but I kept the anger. Even now, Stupidity upsets me- its my shame. I want to be as calm as possible but your brain does not give a shit about calmness. it cares about your habits. if anger is what improved your life, the hell with calmness it thinks. Thus as you grow, anger follows you to your 1 million dollar house.
So, use it as fuel but control the demon now. By the way, people only know what they experience - dont look for sympathy or understanding with even other poor kids or young adults because they may have more. AOld aults get used to terrible lives so they'll say whats the big deal. Grow but understand, you may change but your brain and family may stay the same... The pulling of yourself by the bootstrap never ceases. Never. The only difference later in life is you are expected to pull everyone elses- wives, kids, fmaily including weaker men in society.
Congrats.. You will make it..
Kinda lame as its similar to stoicism
It's okay to display/have those feelings as long as it doesn't infect others negatively, one needs to work out reasons why they feel that way
Here's how I've been dealing with my negative emotions this year. Every time I experienced any, I'd just "stop and look at them". I acknowledge that I'm human and I feel shitty sometimes, then I act using a clear-levelled head.What I don't allow is to act on them.
Emotions are intangible and ever-changing, much like the wind. You'll look like a fool trying to chase after and catch the wind. Likewise, any action based on negative emotions will mostly result in a shitty result you'll probably regret in the future.
Very true, I used to talk about how sad and depressed I sometime was to a girl i was dating back them, she got even sick of it and told me to stop being so negative, being blue pill i thought girls loved it when guys are this emotional with not boundaries, sadly i learned it the hard way and lost the girl.
I have a very hard time with this. Both practicing and accepting. It's not appealing to me to live a life where I don't get to be a human being and instead have to be a slab of stone. Maybe therapy and medication will work this time, because my entire brain needs to be molded to work like other people's. This is true though, showing emotion to women even to the slightest degree turns them off. Every time.
Depression isn't an emotion. Did you mean sadness?
In psychometric tests women on average score meaningfully higher in 'neuroticism,' which is essentially vulnerability to negative emotion like fear, anger, depression etc. JP often makes this point. If a man appears to be vulnerable to negative emotions, he is a beta. And we all know how women treat betas.
My woman love it when I show those emotion because I rarely do, and never directed at her.
I can sum your points better, op: don't be a lil bitch.
People are self interested. They don't really care about eachother. Like Hobbs said life is "all against all". If we show pain people will either try to capitalize off of one's misfortune or monkey branch to something more secure. People have long memories, and each and every slip up is jotted down in their mental notes to be stored away for future use.
It takes a level of self mastery to be able to pick and choose which emotions to express and at which time and for what duration. Practically speaking, it is better to hide ones emotions, especially if the person is predisposed to being emotional or sensitive. In that case the self censorship will balance out the natural tendency towards emotional overexpression. The tactical use of emotions only comes from the most skilled. The average or unskilled should opt for the safer road of no expresson. This will create an aura of mystique, enticing people to supplement with their own imagination what is not being provided to them directly.
OP, your post and Rollo's quote that u made this post out of, are 2 different things. You took one part of the quote and made a post about it. It's missing the "...for an extended period of time". For instance, showing anger is not bad per se, like always, it depends on the situation. But being angry for an extended period of time shows you didn't deal with the problem, which is, of course, bad.
Read the last sentence in the 2nd paragraph.
You're right. Guess I was baited by the title and already made up my mind.
I will leave the comment, it can still provide value to some new TRPers.
What about embarrassment, or shame?
Embarrassment is one I would also give honorable mention to, but i didn’t mention it since i was only addressing the quote.
If you get embarrassed easily, it shows a vulnerability in your frame, and i would say a lack of confidence. Best way to deal with embarrassment is always to laugh it off and to not let whatever just happened affect you deeply.
True. Always talk to your guy friends about problems and never show weakness (on purpose) in front of women. Your guy friends will listen and don't judge you and more important: they will give you their honest opinion about your problem and your behaviour. They will tell you, if you behave like a weak bitch while a woman will try to coddle you openly, but is disgusted with your behaviour internally.
this describes incels in a nutshell
this falls into their whole game of having men supressing their emotions so they can be more useful (AKA easy to manipulate) to women
This maybe if you're actively trying to get one particular pussy, but a lifelong partner that reacts badly to this shit should be reconsidered. I get all the "losing frame" and all of it, but this is just embracing more their control.
Suppressing (Snuffing out forcefully and not fixing it) anxiety and depression is not going to help anyone with their mental health.
Controlled justified rage* is ok in my book. My ex-wife physically attacked me during our divorce. I grabbed her by the collar, shoved her up against the wall, and told her not to forget that I was physically stronger than her. She never tried that again.
*If you find yourself in a relationship with a violent woman, dump her immediately. Even if the pussy is good. A friend of mine didn’t live by this rule, he was stabbed to death by his precious little darling.
Couldn't have said it any better. You can basically do anything with your wife considering you have the right set: Laugh, Smile, Smirk, Happy, Wtf, Content.
Keep up the faces at a normal pattern that make her satisfied to your benefit, maximize faces that give you the most sex. Women are incredible suspicious and curious of anything, so if there is any reason to doubt you, it will definitely come to her mind whether she likes it or not and will sometimes ruin the mood.
Also useful if you finally got to plate that girl from your building (because working with HR is tough), but need to keep a straight face elsewhere (especially at home). Everything goes smooth.
Wait.. so no one noticed how stupid this thread is??? So many upvotes? Why?
"The 5 Emotions You Should Never Show a Woman" <- this is advice for blue pilled men.
Red pilled men dont wig their tales and adjust their behavior just for a bit of approval from women.
Red pilled men dont care if woman dislikes if he is irritated(anger), a bit sad, a bit concerned(fear) or incredibly angry, sad, or fearful.
Red pill is how to stop adjusting yourself to cater women feels: so that means not doing these -> "oh, i must not do this, oh I must stop doing that" "oh, she didnt liked this - I must never do this again"
This thread is exact opposite: how to adjust yourself, adjust yourself as if you need to fulfill some women needs. Lame, so many upvotes, is this females forum or what?
Just what everyone needed, another autistic list of things not do do so we can be alfas. This isn't a real post, it is just asking what Rollo said and making it worse when no further explanation was needed. By the way, sometimes these emotions are necessary.
I don't know what ya'll are talking about. Women like it when I show anger.
Same. They love it and hate it when Im angry
Never ever cry in front of a woman no matter the circumstances
I’ve literally shown my gf and other girls these things on many occasions and nothing bad happened. Lol @ you insecure paranoid losers moderating your behaviour for women because you’re worried they’ll lose attraction.
Not really. It's morso about your capability to remain consistent to be a leader. The media gives us bullshit about women gaining power in the workforce and feminizing men to a point where it's pure propaganda. If you cannot show the traits of a strong leader then the good women will not want to be with a fragile, blue pilled, beta. It's not about not showing ANY and ALL emotion. TRP is notoriously known to affiliate itself with Stoic philosophy. This isn't an excuse to undermine your health and being insecure. It's about following a strict philosophical life outlook and following it to a fault.
We’re all human at the end of the day. Human experience is suffering. Anyone who can remain stoic through everything is just a simp who is unaware of how brutal life is
That's why there's things we use to escape, that's why we have hobbies, that's why we have friends and family, that's why we have art/music, that's why we have literature, that's why we have meditation that's why we have entertainment in general. We can have things as a muse for our deepest emotions that we can't directly access. I'm not calling you a fool or ignorant, and I agree to see where you're coming from mate. Being stoic is amazing for yourself and the respect you receive in Stoicism. But yes like everything, there are limitations. That's where we agree.
Lol spoken like a true simp
Just because you didn't notice anything bad happen doesn't mean something bad didn't happen.
This is gay and retarded. Why are you afraid to lose a woman? Show whatever emotion you want.
The best comments are unironically at the bottom of the page. Nice.
I've never understood why expressing anger is a bad thing. I can see how extreme anger and pure rage can be looked down upon, but I don't see how showing your teeth every now and again during a confrontation is bad.
That’s literally what he said.
Is breathing beta? I want the red pill angle.
If you think every single woman doesn’t like it when men show emotion, then you are delusional.
Red Pilled men are all delusional
/s
If you aware of that, then why did you write this post?
Forgot to mention that i was being blatantly sarcastic
Personal experience supports this.
Toxic masculinity is a "problematic" way (hah) to frame the concept. However, woman genuinely are repulsed by unstable fear-based behavior. They want to have a good time, have excitement raised while still feeling safe. You can't create that atmosphere by having a weak frame of getting pissy.
I'd say — true besides anger.
You just need to control yourself, but anger is sexy and you can use anger like a fuel to solve problems.
I use anger to set boundaries and keep her/everyone in check.
However, there is no need to express anger that much. Just slightly change your rock solid face and people around you will notice it.
I would add admiration as well.
So quick question then, I have a mate who is a true red pill guy and also in an LTR and he recently lost his father. During the funeral, burials and days after he wept a lot since his old man was the only person that was there for him during everything (ma was a junkie). What do you guys recommend that I help him cope? He's shown these emotions to his LTR which idk if that's necessarily good or bad but based on this post I'm assuming bad. Any advice really helps since I've known him and his old man since we were little lads. Thanks.
This is on point, love it!
good analogy with the captain of his ship, that makes perfect sense.
Every time I feel any type of negative emotion, I stop to take a breath and ask why I’m feeling this way.
If I can’t think of an immediate answer to my problem, I think over what is bothering me to the point I can identify the root of my own problems.
A journal also helps process my emotions and thoughts throughout the day .
Why is it bad to show anger?
You should not be depressed, sad, despair or any thing remotely self defeating. But anger? I don't see anything wrong with anger.
Anger is strong. Anger gets shit done. Anger displays your boundaries and self respect. Anger is aggressive. Anger is man.
Hell...at this point i don't give a fuck anymore. I am who i am , no need to hide my emotions.
This is good commentary
But it's easier to think in terms of emotions you CAN and SHOULD show women.
You only get two:
Amusement or Satisfaction
Every appropriate reaction to ANY situation in which a woman is involved is going to fall into some variation of Amusement or Satisfaction.
Girl shit tests you in public: you smile and say something witty.
Girl throws a fit or otherwise does something that does NOT amuse you, then you calmly let her know you're gonna go do your own thing until she sorts herself out.
Everything else falls into that spectrum.
There's no frustration, no arguing, no being let down. In any of this situations you look at her like she knows what she did, smile, and then go hang with your buddies.
If you're actually doing these right she will always come back and the sex will be as it should be.
So when she leaves a cabinet door open behind me as I’m cooking and I turn around and smash my face I can’t show anger and frustration?
Oh silly me, guess I’ll just have to give the door a handshake and a pardon
I agree and disagree. I was at a plates house and she was making me breakfast. She had to do something and I offered to scramble the eggs. I did this in her coffee cup. When she returned she was angry I used the cup and disrespect fully snatched it and then washed it. I very aggressively said who the fuck you think your talking to. She stormed off I left the eggs on the stove and sat down and drank coffee. When she came back she new I was going to leave straight after break fast and I was acting like nothing had happened (not showing my emotions) She became very submissive and I fucked her brains out and we had a great day.
Show your woman whatever emotion you want to. As if the Male chimp cares if his bitch sees him angry.
This post just speaks to the huge problem Americans have: lack of community and loneliness.
Because people do not talk about their feelings with friends and family they delve deep into depression and cope by taking anti-depressants when there is no need.
We are very lonely in this country, there is no " main square" in cities like in Europe, everyone lives within their small social circle, while they all appear happy.
It’s a damn shame that this is pretty much completely true. I’m wanting to kill myself constantly and I wish I wouldn’t be judged by women for showing emotion/ being depressed. The world is so full of misery and hate and despair, it’s tough to not be depressed.
Ya gotta bootstrap it, as much as that phrase makes no sense literally. Fake it till you make it, learn to wrestle, go hiking on rough terrain, challenge yourself. Exercise is the antidote.
We're all in it together though, man. None of us make it out of here alive so make the best of it while you're here. Fuck being a slave to the negative. That's exactly what it wants. We as RP men live by the principle that we will live according to our focus, not be a slave to another.
You can't fight the world, that's why you have to change yourself
Is being a rock in the storm actually realistic? I asked a few adults and they said it’s an outdated concept
I would rather be a flotation device. Rocks tend to drown in storms.
No. Unless you are an autistic superman with regenerative powers.
The Red Pill has become a $$$$ making enterprise....self help gurus peddling the old Dale Carnegie/Tony Robbins trope.
Then why does everyone talk about it
No. This is where the Red Pill codec ends. Rollo is a man living in the past. The "rock" now gets thrown into the lake along with the emotionally unstable man. Choosing to disregard your inherent humanity in favor of a stoic "frame" will not ensure success with women or in professional environments anymore.....that is just adopting the same phychologically manipulative approach [albeit opposite] as women.
The only relationships (marital) that have I have seen that continue to endure are ones that were forged 30+ years ago. And professionally, I continue to experienced the beloved [alpha white male] manager reduced to ruin and replaced in favor of one that fits the gynocentric narrative more closely.
All paths for young men now, lead to a MGTOW type existence....or financial slavery. Us older men got to experience the tail end of the good times, my grandfather however, got to live it.
This is actually right, alpha males in power positions are being attacked for the slightly things, or simply generally accused of "mysogyny" just to bring them down, if they don't bow to the gynocentric discourse and pay tribute to women. It's like being in a dystopic movie really, seeing people enslaved and part of a new, perverse religion. Even women that don't want to be part of this, get attacked savagely and socially ostracized.
The best bet is to simulate, "Think for yourself, act like the others".
You can stay calm under adversity as well as be warm and friendly. They are not mutually exclusive.
Maximizing both abilities, and maintaining a healthy body will make most men irresistible.
....until you get injured and can't work or lift, or your father develops cancer and you become depressed watching him whither and die.
Then she is gone in a nanosecond to the next cock....because "I can't be happy with you dragging me down". The reality is we are not immutable beings.
The book was written last year.
We aren’t disregarding the fact that we have emotions, which is why I mentioned that they should be felt in private. Btw, disregarding your emotions in public in favor of stoicism does in fact increase success with women. Most men in this subreddit are an example of this. What are you on about?
Time to swallow the "Black Pill" for some hard reality. Rollo is a dorky looking late middle-aged guy that was married in the 1990s. Should he experience a [now common] divorce rape, he would be knocked down to below zero on the SMV scale....perpetually broke from lifetime alimony and physically not attractive to the women he believes he could attain. The PUA thing is not, and never has been real.
Btw, disregarding your emotions in public in favor of stoicism does in fact increase success with women.
True, but to what end? Cohabitation? Marriage!? Do you know what works better than "Frame" or "money"? Good looks! Sex has become weaponized by the Gyno State. Getting women is not that difficult, but increasingly a life-destroying pursuit.
I've watched the Red Pill develop over the last 10 years and believe that Rollo and other pioneering RP writers have made many great observations regarding intersexual dynamics....but they are delusional on how society actually operates now. I get women because of my looks. Chad can cry on a woman's shoulder over having to put his dog down and her cunt will be dripping.
Perspective and reality man....that's what I'm on.
Italian women, bless them, are a unique breed of White women. This comes from Italy being one of the few places in Europe that has been a Matriarchal society for centuries.
Rollo, an Italian man, instead of embracing this aspect of his culture, tries to fight it with his MASK of Masculinity which to me falls apart in 2 ways.
When is rage, fear, depression etc any less damaging to you just because you experience them only in private? The damage you do to yourself because of these emotions is the same, whether or not your experience private or public.
If you cannot open up to the people you love, why even have them around? What is the point of intimacy without honesty?
Conclusion: If you are Italian, your women are strong. Let them know what is troubling you, not only will they understand, they are going to take the load off of you, so you can heal. If you are not Italian, your frame of reference is different to that of Rollo and so you are better off taking advice from someone who shares your frame.
They are not.
It wasn't.
The only ones putting on a mask of masculinity are women, since men have become feminine.
It's not about damage, it's about showing weakness. The more you show weakness to a woman, the more respect she loses for you.
Not talking about how hurt your feelings are is not dishonesty. The problem with men today is that they've been conditioned to talk and express their feelings like a woman.
If you're Italian, your women have the same subconscious evolutionary programming as pretty much any other on the face of the Earth. Let them know what is troubling you, they will attempt to take the load off you, they probably won't understand and they will surely lose a portion of respect towards you.
You’re forgetting AWALT.
To address point 1, it’s less damaging since your frame remains intact. You’re allowed to fully internalize your feelings and strengthen as a person because you’re enduring these feelings on your own, and really FEELING all the feels. Either that, or as Rollo says: “if you want someone to cry on, get a dog.” (Have to look back for the exact quote)
Opening up to people needs to be done very carefully. You’re not gonna pour your feelings out to a woman if she hasn’t done anything to deserve it. Your emotions are a reward for her positive behavior; it’s acts as positive reinforcement. If your Girlfriend tells you she loves you, you’re obviously going to reward that behavior with some emotion of your own in order to encourage more of it.
Self sabotage in private doesn't affect your frame? The frame is not some empty sales pitch your lips can puppet out. Your frame is built on your conviction in yourself. A conviction that is decimated by rage, fear, and depression (private or otherwise). Your claim to have gone through these things on the other thread, are put to serious doubt when you treat them like it's some trivial puberty Acne.
And without help, how long do you think that is going to take to self heal? Years of Isolate meditation? This sub-reddit is filled with people who have lived through a pleathora of childhood and adult damage. Parental Divorce, Child Abuse, Partner Abuse, Mental disorders. For you to say these things can be resolved without help is to underestimate the impact these things have on people's lives.
The whole point of this Sub is to NOT BE IN ISOLATION. To help each other out. Even your post here is to share information, coping techniques to help each other. Something in strong contrast to what you are preaching - internalizing on your own.
Why even respond to me, go talk to your dog.
Now youv'e gone from Prohibition to Warning. How is something "Rock-Hard" if it also as you say now a case by case issue. You are backtracking what you said in your original post:
It’s not self-sabotage.
On a more serious note, if want someone to talk about your feelings with, you look to other level-headed men. You don’t talk about your problems with women, as it positions you as a weaker being... tarnishing any idea of superiority you may have established between you two. Men can and will help you through any emotion you’re feeling.
Not what your own words said before.
As a long term sufferer of depression, I couldn’t agree more. My girlfriend is Italian, and I’ve always been blown away by her support, and her reaction to my (reluctant) opening up. Nothing but care and support, and respect for me having the balls to be open with her.
This is the one part of TRP philosophy that I must take issue with. Sometimes the best person to help you is your LTR, sometimes you have to open up and express vulnerability. It can bring you closer and strengthen that bond, and heal you.
For me being able to do this is one of the main reasons for wanting to have this person in my life. This analogy with a captain on a ship blah blah ... yeah, but the captain probably also has a wife who he opens up with once he’s back home
Thank you for your bravery, for not only reading my comment but posting your own testimonial on here despite the hoards of down voting incels.
Hold on to her, because such women are rare on this side of the Atlantic.