Note: This is from user u/riggved

He gets credit and or backlash from this post.

I will post up my story soon.


There are many posts over here about kids being raised by single moms. After a divorce, in 95% cases, custody goes to the mother. After reading such posts, I was enlightened about how my case is different from what the general norm is, and this has prompted me share to my experience of being raised by a single dad, and also, the impact it had on my sister. In my father's case, he fought hard for our custody, and won it. He got divorced when I was 4, and my sister was 2.5. So, actually, we don't really even know what it means to have a mother, since she left us when we were really really young. Why did he get divorced? That's a fucked up story for another day. But the gist of the matter is, my father was a wealthy dude with industries and shit, international travels (when travelling international wasn't even a thing and flying was shit expensive etc.), and she took away everything. So here goes:

My family has 4 members, my father, my sister, and my amazing old school grandparents. They are in their 90s now, and my grandad still works 12 hours a day, fit as fuck, no health issues barring minor high blood pressure pangs and a cataract surgery. My grandma still cooks delicious meals.

My dad was lucky that he had the support of his parents in raising us. After his divorce, due to the disturbance in our household, me and my sister were sent to a boarding school in the mountains far far away. My dad used to come and visit us once every month (that was what the school allowed).

Warning: Long list up ahead.

•He was famous amongst all my peers, because whenever he visited, he would play with all the kids, gave all the kids candies and chocolates etc. Everybody loved my dad. The teachers, they loved him too. They showered him with attention. I won't be surprised if I found out that he had flings with a handful of them, as I do recall some signs. (He gamed the principals 19 year old daughter too. This was a recent revelation to me haha)  •Sometimes, he came along with some gorgeous young thing to visit us. Me and my sister would notice how the teachers stared at him then, and would whisper into each others ears. Some of the teachers took out their jealousy on us! This really bugged us then, but makes us laugh now.  •We had a 3 month vacation back home every year. Me and my sister hated staying home. We would impatiently wait for our dad to come home from work (usually 9-10pm), and thats when the real party started for us. We would just drive around the city, go to luxury hotels, roam around, he would take us to clubs, pool parties etc. Just the three of us, no woman in between.  •Later, when he saw how we hated staying home during vacations (me and my sister used to keep calling him all day long with the same question: “Dad when will you be home”), he would take us along with him to the field. It was like a dream world to us. To his office, to his meetings. At times, when his labour staff were on leave, we would even load stuff off his truck together. We would later have a big fun meal together. We would observe him hustle through the day, his work ethic, how he saved money, how he would cut corners, how he did those little things for those little bonuses that made us happy as fuck. These were life lessons for us, and are now ingrained in our DNA.  •We would have breakfast while he drove, we would feed him too, and ourselves, and throughout our drives, we would crack jokes, sing along, and just be like buddies. We would listen to the news on the radio together and he would explain worldly shit to us. Wars. Religion. Sport. Politics.  •Once, when I was 12, we were driving on a highway. He stopped the car without any warning. He got out, and told me to the take the driver's seat. I was shocked! I didn't see that coming. Then, he just said, drive. He told me the technicalities, and there I was learning how to drive. Next, it was my sister's turn!  •Post this, when he used to visit us in school, me and my sister would be driving his car on the football field (where all the visiting parents parked their cars) and the entire school would be watching in envy from above. Later, we always got shit from the teachers. But would could they do, it was under the consent of my dad. They were powerless. If they raised any further issue with us, we would tell our dad and he would say "just ignore them."  •During the early years of my schooling life, I was a quiet kid, didn’t really talk much, but I did make friends. As I hit adolescence, I was emerging more and more as a leader among peers. By the time I was in my teenage, all kids wanted to be my friend. I was in a coed boarding school till I was 13, then, a boys school. I was the first one in my class have a girlfriend (at 14). Girls were difficult to come by because, boys school. (PS: studying in an all boys school is a completely different experience itself. This topic should be explored in TRP too. I might touch on this on another post.)  •Each time me and my sister fought, and I hit my sister, my dad would beat the shit out of me, ask me for apology, saying how dare I raise my hand on a girl/woman. And, he would tell my sister that the only way to stop me was for her to become stronger than me and in turn out-beat the shit out of me.  •He used to take us along for his meetings, with politicians, senior officers, public administrators, businessman; at this point, we were 9-10 years old. Me and my sister are street smart people and know how to handle ourselves, we always get commended for it from our peers, cousins etc. I was the de-facto leader amongst my cousins. They always leave it to me to deal with tricky situation. This is all because of what we experienced with our dad during these times.  •If there was a new movie we wanted to watch, and it was R rated. No problem, my dad would still take us, bribe the theatre guy, and we would watch it together without any judgement or awkwardness whatsoever. We would even discuss it. We would discuss lies, cheating, sex, like it was nothing.  •When vacationing, he used to even take us to the casino. Underage people aren't allowed there. He would convince the bouncers to let us in, I used to wonder "why is he laughing with them". No wonder me and my sister have an excellent casino track record. Also, I have a pretty sweet risk taking appetite, it is solely because of how my dad raised me.  •Once, we were vacationing in a city, had plans and bookings for another city, but me and my sister wanted to have ice cream that was famous from a completely different city in a different direction. What my dad did: we just hopped on a train with no tickets, he hustled to make sure we weren’t chucked out. We reached that city. Had the ice cream. And returned to our vacation schedule. Golden times!  •Due to my early exposure to the outside world and hustling, I had already started a small business when I was 17 in school. I was making more money than what my school teachers made. (I had a nasty music collection and a CD burner, they were rate at that time. My peers gave me lists of the songs they wanted, and I would burn CDs for them. I was burning around 50 CDs a weak. Then came Napster and my business was over lol.)  •My sister stood for the elections in her school, she got the most votes and she was only 15. All the other girls were 17-18. In school, my sister was kind of like a gang leader, yes!  •When we hit teenage, I really saw how critical it was they way our dad bought us up. Where I'm from, girls usually aren't that free. But my sister and me were always treated with deadspot equality. She had freedom her girl friends could only dream of. When I went out to party, my sister told my dad that she also wanted to go. My dad's reply "If he can go, you can too."

I now notice how well my sister handles herself compared to other girls. She is literally the most intelligent girl I know when it comes to guys, I mean it. Her judgement of guys, from the good guys to the jerks, is spot on. She respects guys with strong work ethic and powerful personalities, she admires the one who know what a real struggle is. She can sniff out from far away guys who are just trying to get into her panties, and knows how to show them their place. She is fearless, doesn't have any of that "entitled" mentality that 98% girls have these days. Her friends (guys and girls) treat her like a goddess because she is just amazing to be around, and she helps the ones in need with her heart. Also, she has REAL friends, something most girls lack.

•My sister has a shit load of guy friends, and tbh, I observe their chemistry together, its like, she is way more alpha than them, and she leads them during social situations etc. She organises the parties etc. They come to her for advice for girlfriend problems, business problems etc. She talks to her guy friends like how us guys talk to each other, with insults and curses thrown around.  •At the time when I was 17-18, in my senior school years, I was a very naughty kid with little to no interest in academics. (my dad would still beat the shit out of me if I flunked). I would sit in the backseat and haggle the teachers, yeah, I was kind of an asshole to them. During parent teacher meetings at school, my teachers would complain about what a bad boy I was. My dad used to signal me with his finger with a "watch the show" look, and start about how I am such a "good nice cultured boy with a lot of values etc. etc." This would baffle the teachers and made them shut the fuck up with no response whatsoever. I used to see how other other parents (moms and dads visiting together) apologising for their kids behaving like kids. My dad never did. He always told me, "have all the fun you want, just as long as you're not hurting anyone." There were some instances when I lied to my teachers, those times he did ask me to apologize to them.  •When I was 6, I stole a chewing gum from one of my classmates. My female teacher did nothing, only asked for a mere apology, but the information was sent home. When vacations came and we went home, my dad gave me ONE TIGHT SLAP for this episode, even if it was just a chewing gum. Once again, life lesson ingrained in DNA then on.  •On some rare instances, he used to take us to visit our mother. He told us that we should know who our mother is. We never really spoke about her in general, we weren't even bothered with who she was. Whenever we went to see her, it was weird as fuck. We couldn't even call her "mom". Like I said, we don't even know the meaning of what a mother is. My dad was both to us. And my grandma filled my mother's space with flying colours.  •We were always held responsible for our actions and were always punished accordingly. My dad would never ground us or anything, but he had his ways in letting us know when we were wrong, and we felt it. Me and my sister both, always had a little fear of our dad, we always felt that he was watching over us. This was actually a good thing.  •During school days, our friends loved visiting our house because they knew that they would have the most fun there. Thinking back, my house was a place where "kids could be kids", something they couldn't be in their own homes. My childhood homies still talk about how awesome and fun my dad was. I later also found out that some of my and my sister's friends actually call my dad "behind our backs" for life advise.  •Sports was a big part of my life during growing up. I learnt how swim at a very early age. I was the best swimmer in my school, winning all the medals at the swimming galas. How did I learn how to swim? My dad just threw me in the pool. I almost drowned, but he came and got me. Then, once I tasted that fear, he taught me how to swim. I was swimming when other kids didn’t even know what a swimming pool was. We used to also play a lot of cricket and football together, especially during our vacations. We used to wake up early in the mornings and hit the park. My dad was fit AF so he had no problem in keeping up.  •I was offered alcohol by my dad when I was around 12 years old. I used ask him "what is this thing that you drink" when he was having drinks with his buddies or during his meetings. One day, he pours out some whisky and asks me to try it. His business associate was present too. I realise how important this mentality was. I have never ever felt the need for alcohol in my life, sure, I do enjoy a drink now and then, but I have absolute 0 tendancies to become an alcholic. Because my dad was direct and straight with me about it. Same goes for my sister. She literally has only one drink per year.  •There were tough times, financial crunches, and we were made to face them directly, and deal with it hands on. This is one of the most crucial aspects of being raised by my dad. Me and my sister know what real struggle is, and we know how to appreciate stability in life. There was a time when my dad had to sell his house and we had to move to a small apartment. We didnt even know where our next meal would come from. After the first night in the apartment, me and my sister woke up feeling extremely sad and depressed. My dad was normal and unphased. He simply says, "get off your asses and get to work. Life goes on" like nothing ever happened, and we complied like obedient kids. We were always obedient with our dad, but never with our teachers.  •During some tricky situations in my dad's business, he would deliberately put me in the front to deal with the situation. Like, this one time, couple of cops came over. I was 17. He just sat back and he pushed me ahead to deal with them. I was pissing my pants because these were aggressive cops. He did the same in similar situations with my sister. Just FYI: nothing illegal here, but corrupt cops harassing for bribes.    •Sometimes, say if a customer of my dad wasn’t paying up, he would send me to retrieve the payment. I used to go to the customer once, twice, thrice, and failed. But the fourth time, I succeeded. I was retrieving payments between the age 15-18 years old. Life lessons again here. Something no MBA can teach. Situation now: I have MBAs working for me, and they don’t know jack about payment retrieval. Also, I have observed the business and entrepreneurial skills I have, none of the MBAs have those. They simply don’t have that risk taking appetite and the fearless attitude in business.

TL/DR: being raised by a single date was awesome. We faced life directly, head on. We had a blast, life was a party, but we also went through tough times, and we dealt with our situations head on, without emotionally dwelling over it.