A man must be less prone to being lonely

Poloyatoki · 2018-09-03T17:18:18+00:00

I'm taking this to the extreme by starting a new job, in a new city with no friends or bitches. It's been a month so far, its stressful and sometimes shit. But you this were I'm learning who I am not in TRP only but philosophically as well.

I recommend you need to really be alone at least sometime in your life to truly understand were you need to go in life.

rosbergsessa420 · 2018-09-03T16:28:46+00:00

A man should be perfectly able to be lonely, and not need anyone else. This includes friends, partners and even family.

A lot of the material on this community focuses too much on the entire social structure where everyone wants to be on top. But I believe a solid foundation for these principles begin by knowing how to be by yourself and then starting to add people - because you WANT, not because you need them.

The moment you begin to live to be a part of something, your freedom is gone. I'd say even the stereotyped alphas that live for leading a group have this weakness.

Johnnyvile · 2018-09-03T17:25:54+00:00

Women in general are talkative and want to express themselves and their feelings, this is why they always have a lot of close friends they do it with, men are not like this and enjoy alone time. Men also have people depending on them a lot more and enjoy alone time. Men focus on themselves more and enjoy alone time to work on their own things.

It’s pretty simple.

untonyto · 2018-09-03T20:33:22+00:00

I wonder how often social anxiety is really just the internalization of weird social pressure to be more social and agreeable.

CalvinRichland · 2018-09-03T16:45:58+00:00

Good points, especially important for an LTR. Cant create feels with your fat ass right next to her on the couch every moment.

The idea that a man doesn't need friends and family generally though is just idiotic and short sighted to me. It's good to be comfortable alone and i spend a lot of time alone for work and hobbies, but comfortable alone and eternally alone are not the same.

vandaalen · 2018-09-03T19:13:17+00:00

Being alone doesn't equal feeling loney.

Solitude is a hard won ally, faithful and patient.

curiouschipmunk1010 · 2018-09-03T17:02:51+00:00

Solitude should be filled with meaningful purpose. If you must isolate and insulate yourself during time of growth (i.e. commitment to work, sport, goals etc), be actively productive in filling it with more pressing responsibilities. If not, it is prone to depression (i.e. isolation from getting fired).

BreastWood_One · 2018-09-03T17:50:49+00:00

You've never been truly alone then. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

TheBadGoy · 2018-09-03T20:15:47+00:00

Anyway, the bottom line is all you pathetic dweebs out there "yearning" for friendship or romance are doing it all wrong

You are a bit wrong on this one, if Elliot Rodger came to my door I would tell him to cultivate friendships and romance, and then learn to handle heartbreak and loneliness. You can't tell a lonely guy to embrace loneliness, he'll go crazy.

macalpinerules · 2018-09-03T22:13:06+00:00

This is the sort of thinking that leads to despair and suicide. Loneliness is gender neutral and stems from the fact that humans (male and female) are social animals and when those social needs aren't met they are actualized as negative emotions which we call loneliness. Unfortunately, men are more likely to deny or ignore loneliness and therefore put themselves needlessly on the path to despair and (worst case scenario) suicide.

I recommend a book called "Social" by Matthew Lieberman to better understand the social needs of humans.

[deleted] · 2018-09-03T23:05:30+00:00

This is obviously ingrained in them biologically because a million years ago they frankly couldn't survive without a man's support, and would be more inclined to getting raped.

Havent humans always been tribal? One element of this is definitely about surivival. In a group, resources are pooled and spoils are shared. A man trying to survive alone in the distant past would have had to hide away from tribes and other large groups, as one man could not take on such a large group and hope to win. So there was a large amount of protection to be found in a tribe for everyone, not just women. Being banished from your tribe was akin to a death sentence.

What we currently have is a modern era where the laws and technology enable us to be more solitary and there is an erosion of community in most places. And I am not sure that anyone's mental heath is doing well for it.

Solitary confinement, as an extreme example, is said to be a torture method that can send someone completely insane.

I think what you go on to say is true, but it's not so much about being lonely. One of your best resources is your time and attention, and you should treat it with respect and care. What you shouldnt do is whore out your time to women freely, as they wont respect you.

RoccoTech00 · 2018-09-03T19:19:54+00:00

While it is true that humans are tribal/social creatures, men are generally more independent and resourceful. Men need to have their own space. Other than for reproductive purposes and some social interaction (affection and such), women are generally more of a drag for men. Take sex and reproduction out of the picture. Would you go through hell and back for the affection or attention of a woman? Of course there are always exceptions to the rule. Also, there are many "men" who are the product of an emasculated world, mostly as a result of single mothers and/or fathers with weak character, that are basically princesses.

As for the "lone wolf" approach to life. I think that changes with each person. One should be able to be happy by himself and add people to your life based on a value-add to each party, that includes family and friends (as stated by a previous comment). Yes, humans are meant to be social/tribal creatures, but the point of a tribe is to live in harmony, respect, and benefit for all. None of those things are there for men now. This is not only true for romantic relationships, but it includes family and friends as well. This I why MGTOW and TRP are gaining followers each and every day.

[deleted] · 2018-09-03T20:32:54+00:00

Don't forget everyone dies alone. In the end, all you have is yourself.

MoneyMakin · 2018-09-03T20:10:25+00:00

I don’t think you made one half-good point in this shit post. Is any of this based on science or is it just your personal opinion that men shouldn’t feel lonely? I think it’s a matter of social preferences. I need time alone. Some of my buddies need to be around people all the time. It’s a lot more to do with being introverted and extroverted. Calling someone who prefers to be in the presence of other people a pathetic dweeb makes you sound like a lunatic.

Ezaar · 2018-09-03T16:59:53+00:00

http://www.musashi-miyamoto.com/dokkodo.html

When I was following this a little to strictly, I did end up turning off many human considerations associated with well being. But there’s a lot to unwrap that can be useful here.

Noblefiz · 2018-09-03T18:46:06+00:00

Ok so what is this post about exactly?

Are you talking about the push-pull mechanism? Or is it about the idea that men should naturally be able to tolerate loneliness to a greater extent than women? Because you talk about both but mix them into this half baked theory about how loneliness ties into push-pull, and, while I can see where you were trying to go with it, doesn’t really scratch the surface of anything, in my opinion.

This post was very short, shallow and egotistical in that you call the readers “pathetic dweebs” which leads me to believe you wrote this entire post in a vain attempt to boost your own lacking level of self confidence.

Maybe I’m wrong.

new_alpha · 2018-09-03T18:48:09+00:00

Okay this is all easy to explain rationally and such but there are to real and practical things you should look into if you are constantly feeling lonely and in need of other people’s presence:

1 - you are in fact spending too much time by yourself and your social area is lacking. I’m not talking about hanging out to bars and such, I’m talking about day to day interactions which are important for every human being. Get out of your room and go do something useful that requires connecting to other people. If you don’t have a job you should definitely look into this area of your life because it needs fixing.

2 - you have depression or general anxiety disorder. If the first point I made is ‘generally’ taken care of and you still feel like shit when you’re lonely then you should seek help from a psychiatrist. It is definitely not uncommon to have one of these two when you live in a fucked up society like ours and also develop some fucked up mechanisms to cope with it. Go fix it.

redefinedreality · 2018-09-04T01:05:28+00:00

This whole thing was just a bunch of circular arguments

Iwannachokekatie · 2018-09-03T19:18:06+00:00

Anyway, the bottom line is all you pathetic dweebs out there "yearning" for friendship or romance are doing it all wrong. A man of resource and strength has much greater tolerance for loneliness. This is strength, because now you gain the power to ease other people's loneliness, without needing their power to ease yours.

No. Those dweebs "yearn" for friendship and romance, because they have no power to ease other peoples loneliness, because they lack in friendship and in romance.

AssDefect20 · 2018-09-03T18:37:09+00:00

I have to disagree, simply because your view is not scientific. Humans have evolved to be social, and we get negative quite quickly without intimate social contact.

Notice i said intimate, that usually means with a family member, friend or a girl that you like as a person. A lot of people are surrounded by others, but their interactions are not intimate, but rather curteous and platonic. Therefore they can become lonely.

In order for me to want to be alone, I first need to fulfill my need for intimacy (I dont really have to, nothing is going to happen if I dont socialize for a week or two,but any longer and it slowly starts affecting me negatively). But if I have no friends or any support structure, my loneliness will get to me, no matter how much work I need to get done.

Women usually need more social contact because they benefit more from sticking to the tribe, ie the selected women were the ones who had more need to socialize ie the ones who stuck to the tribe. Men needed to go on hunting trips and were kicked out of the tribe, and also needy betas who stayed in the tribe werent really selected for. But still, if alphas go hunt and tiger kills them, beta stays alive and gets all women. :D That is my theory, feel free to discuss.

IMO What a man should do is follow Maslow pyramid. In this context that means creating a small, time efficient if possible, but trustworthy circle of friends and/or family who he can count on for social and other support.

That does not mean going with "bros" on beer every night and bitching and moaning how your life is hard. Simply means having someone to turn to when times get rough, who can hold you accountable, who you can share a secret or a laugh with etc.

GuruDev1000 · 2018-09-03T18:53:01+00:00

As a human, what do you bring to the table? The best resource is your energy and aura that can only be collected through self realization. There's a reason why we need sleep during which we shut out the external world.

dusara217 · 2018-09-03T21:23:59+00:00

Taking a step away from the perspective of sexual interaction, this is also a tenet of Stoic philosophy. When you are alone, you are in solitude, and there is no better place to improve yourself than in solitude. However, too much solitude, and you become just as weak as if you had too little. Thus you must strike a proper balance and learn to use solitude to your advantage while still being a generally social creature.

DaftOdyssey · 2018-09-04T03:24:35+00:00

That is why I believe boys after graduating high school should move to another city for college. If effort is put, it will cure any dependencies that you had on your family, friends, girls, and start becoming a self efficient man.

[deleted] · 2018-09-04T07:13:19+00:00

I don’t know if the pain of “loneliness” I suffer is due to being alone - or the frustration of not have social opportunities available to me when I desire them.

NormalAndy · 2018-09-04T07:31:36+00:00

Well... this.

The whole blue pill, girls on top, bullshit social system relies on men being taught to think of themselves as no good by themselves and needing to be with others to be of any worth, as the collective is where the value is-

Thus we are taught to not make a move and stay within the bounds of the open/ social prison and live our lives wondering why we are unfulfilled. I can only applaud the system that is used to control the masses. I would like think that I could have created something similar if I ruled the world but of course I don't and I probably couldn't have (not yet anyway ;-) )

That is the most interesting and not to mention liberating part of the red pill. Realising that you are a man of worth, relising that you have been conned into submission and finally seeing the long road ahead that you must walk to reclaim your birthright.

Bitches are totally irrelevant. Compared to the bigger picture, I hardly even notice them unless I need to dump a load off- and even then I'm more interested in seeing how long I can delay- WAY more interesting!

chaseemall · 2018-09-04T08:11:54+00:00

I think it's worth noting that the desire for a boy to desire the comfort of a woman really is about him and his mother. A man's desire for a woman is a matter of him as a caretaker and a user. However, this need is a vastly different need. A boy needs the comforting company of his mother because she is his caretaker. A man needs the cooperative company of his fellow men, because he is a man within an honor group. He needs a woman to be the mother of his children, but he doeesn't go to her to get his need for companionship, because that's the job of the men in his life.

Many men who try to get women to ease loneliness are immature. They are longing for a boy-like love for an adult woman, and conflating it with the cooperative companionship reserved for fellow men. The way to fix this is to get male friends, find a male honor group. It doesn't have to be (probably shouldn't be TBH) TRP specific, but these men need to hold you accountable. This will help you seperate what a boyish love is from what a manly love is.

OfficerWade · 2018-09-04T11:08:33+00:00

I was recently listening on the Joe Rogan podcast with Jordan Peterson’s daughter and they mentioned, antisocial behavior is just as bad for you as smoking.

The opposite of crazy is still crazy.

[deleted] · 2018-09-07T23:37:42+00:00

I inadvertently mastered solitude over the last few years. The amount of power it gives you is incredible

FemtoG · 2018-09-04T03:42:49+00:00

How the FUCK does this have 400+ upvotes? I know it's cliche to say TRP is going to shit - but the upvotes don't lie. TRP is going to shit. This post reads like a lonely and depressed teenager trying to justify his miserable existence. It's so stupid that I'm actually not sure if someone is trolling us.

Humans are hyper-social creatures. We all evolved to live in close knit kin groups. Loneliness can literally make you go insane or become suicidal. Every single sentence you wrote is the opposite of the truth.

Anyway, the bottom line is all you pathetic dweebs out there "yearning" for friendship or romance are doing it all wrong.

The only pathetic dweeb I see here is you. Also, your writing sucks ass.

uwey · 2018-09-03T17:48:54+00:00

If you have hard time for being alone.......get used to it.

You come to this world alone and naked, yo should die and parting the world same way.

No imaginary god, friends, family. You are on your own, in charge of your own decision and consequences.

That would make a lot sense if you see how world is delusional place from its very beginning.

[deleted] · 2018-09-03T23:17:49+00:00

So pick up extra shifts when you are bored instead of scrolling Instagram got it

[deleted] · 2018-09-04T04:35:24+00:00

On the flip side, we men are conditioned to provide for other people. We are hardwired to be selfless. Acknowledging and recognising this is an important part of going your own way. Then you can begin to overcome loneliness.

Doxatek · 2018-09-04T04:39:06+00:00

"If you are lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company." - Sartre

punchyson · 2018-09-04T05:03:54+00:00

I don’t disagree but the wording is going to give people the wrong idea.

You are spending time alone because you are in the weight room at 04:00, fishing, hunting, writing a book, fixing your truck, looking for a better job, or dealing with personal things.

In other words you are busy living life and handling your business.

Women can tell the difference between a guy who is busy and productive and a guy who is following some PUA advice. Believe that

docious · 2018-09-04T10:08:19+00:00

This is some seriously sad stuff

59Aisires59 · 2018-09-04T11:22:41+00:00

Let me warn you. If you get to lonely you start losing touch with other humans in general.

I completely isolated myself for years i did only Talk to my parents sometimes and in the Office with my supervisor.

Since I discovered TRP i try to get used going outside and talk to people and managed to get 2 friends due to working out in the gym. They are my Lifting Buddys now.

But in public i feel like a colorful cow, i feel like everyone is staring at me or straight up laughting. It’s dreadful for me to be around more than a few people. I get nervous and stutter or Talk bullshit.

I was a very popular guy in highschool from the age of ten up to sixteen. At the age of sixteen i got a Computer with dsl. This was the end of my perfect social life.

Now i am 24 in january this year i started to turn my life around and let me tell you i regred isolating myself in my room with my computer. It’s very tough to get back to normal. People i knew from elementary School say i am weird now and well i feel like a weirdo.

Short or Moderate Isolation is good to get back on Track but if you isolate yourself for to long you lose yourself and all direction for your life.

[deleted] · 2018-09-04T21:33:05+00:00

Anyway, the bottom line is all you pathetic dweebs

Says the guy who posts on TRP, like the rest of us. Keep being superior, brah. We love ya.

conflagratorX · 2018-09-05T02:19:19+00:00

Man must be less prone to be lonely, psychically and physically stronger, earn more and has higher status and looks than women. Otherwise he is entering incel wastelands.

jpmgratitude · 2018-09-05T21:59:30+00:00

Watch videos of monks and how they live.

Emmanuel_Elias · 2018-09-07T03:13:34+00:00

Wanting to be alone is also an attractive trait because it adds mystery. A lot of guys these days have it all wrong in their game, they think that hanging out on hoards of guys will actually get you a decent girl but no, it'll most likely just bring a bunch of attention whores. A side from the general truths of red pill and women, women still tend to be conscious around their unreasonable behavior. To this really, they gain respect on you for having a courage to stand alone. It all comes down to being the rock.

moltenw · 2018-09-07T07:12:48+00:00

Even with my shitty gaming addiction from 8-17 and the problems it has caused me to this day, there was one thing that I learnt - Solitude.

Even with all the shit that comes along with the gaming package, learning Solitude might possibly just been worth it. I can be alone for an immense amount of time without the need of other people's company.

Now...all I need to do is reverse the cancerous parts of it...

halfback910 · 2018-09-07T17:02:39+00:00

Imo loneliness is a survival instinct. Humans are social creatures and loneliness is part of what compels us into clustering to form markets. I don't think loneliness is sexual because children get lonely, people who were chemically castrated or lost their testicles to cancer early in life still get lonely.

Human markets are like ant hives. Ants suffer a chemical withdrawal if they're away from the hive for too long. Loneliness is what happens if we are away from other humans (and consequently markets) for too long. Loneliness is just the word we ascribed to our version of what happens to ants and any other social creatures when they leave the fold.

In that sense I think telling men to be less lonely is like telling them to not want to fuck women or to not get so hung up on being useful. It's in their nature.

[deleted] · 2018-09-07T21:59:25+00:00

How great a man you feel when you stop being bored when alone, stop craving people company and start to enjoy to be by yourself.

pnzndltn · 2018-09-11T00:29:03+00:00

It's good and fine to be able to enjoy your own company but the bottom line, is that humans are social creatures and extended periods of isolation are bad for you, there's no way around it. Physical and mental side effects from too much loneliness are real. I like the message of being able to be by yourself without spiraling out of control, but the reality is that to be a happy mammal, you need to mix the right amount of socializing into your day to thrive, even if it's only a few minutes of chit chat with various strangers throughout your day.

So yes, be comfortable spending time with yourself, but realize that loneliness is not an ideal to be achieved and that you should work on incorporating social time into your day in a way that keeps you warm as a person.

Anonymous-O · 2018-09-25T17:51:57+00:00

This explains the dance in marriage well. Smother her and she won't value your affection since you give it out so cheaply. Let her work for it. Of course, do not take it too far else she just might look elsewhere for said affection.

[deleted] · 2018-09-04T07:17:03+00:00

This is an absolute gold mine...who knew this many morons could develop a thread and find each other. Quit bitching and go build a bench.

Title	A man must be less prone to being lonely
Author	FemtoG
Upvotes	783
Comments	140
Date	03 September 2018 04:01 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	TheRedPill
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/52246
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/9cmn6h/a_man_must_be_less_prone_to_being_lonely/