Back Story
Last night I go to meet up with my buddy at the gym, Daryl. Lately when I see him, he seems really sad, Just not there. We work together and he seems to be having trouble handling the job lately. On top of that he’s banging the secretary in the main office. Told him this was a bad idea. He doesn’t listen.
Not only is he shitting where he’s eating with a women he speaks directly to, frequently, on a professional basis. He has developed hardcore oneitis for her. Worst part, she is married. She has 2 kids. And is 41. He is 24. Breaking every RP principle known to man. But some guys just aren’t ready to be saved.
The Incident
We meet at the entrance of the gym and he got that sad look on. I say “you Aite man? Every time I see you anymore you look like you’re about to cry”
His voice cracks. I am confused...He actually is crying. He says “remember how you told me not to get emotionally attached”
Why yes Daryl I do recall.
“Well I did. And look” (as his eyes start to water)
He hands me his phone and there’s a legit 6 paragraph long email from “Pudding ❤️”
I read the first sentence which has the “I’m letting you down easy. It isn’t you it’s me tone” and then I tell him I’m not reading all this. And hand him his phone back and go to work out. The whole fucking time he’s looking at this email. Closing it out. Pacing. Opening it. Reading it. Closing it. Tearing up. Opening it again.
“Wtf bro? Let’s lift”
He’s zoned out. Staring out into the beta abyss. Then comes the Same shit, On his phone. Scrolling. Reading. Pacing. Crying.
I can’t help but think, why??! What are you looking for? But then I remember, I’ve been there before back in the day. So I think, what was I looking for? Why do we do this shit and torture ourselves?
Hope
Was the only thing that could come to mind. Just searching for some sentence in there that would give him hope. That he still might have a chance to make things work with old Betty baggage.
I then start thinking about the recent post from u/gaylubeoil that many of you bashed. How convenient, it actually came in handy. “Be a leader and get this poor puss out of his head.”
I tell him let’s go bro. I start making him do supersets. High reps. Very short breaks between exercise. Tell him to fucking breath. “3 More. 2 More. That one looked easy. 2 more.” (Anything to get his Mind off this chick. And really push him) He’s laughing now but pushing through.
He said no when I asked him about grabbing food after when we first got there. Now he’s in. We order, sit down. What’s old Daryl doing? Looking for hope again. I grab the phone and say:
“I’m deleting this shit”
“NO!” He shrieks.
“Why? So you can read it all night and torture yourself?”
I give in and start reading it. I skim. She is talking about how much she loves him that’s why she has to let him go and blocked him. How their age difference is a big issue and “everyone keeps telling her that.” How he’s young and looks at other girls and she already has wrinkles. How she can’t just leave her kids and husband who needs her. For a younger guy who hasn’t lived fully and is so into just the sex. But she knows he can make someone else really happy. 6 paragraphs pretty much summed up to “you can’t/haven’t passed one shit test”
I huff out a laugh. And shake my head.
He’s silent. I delete it.
We talk about it briefly. (Now I have spoke to Daryl about red pill concepts when he has come to me for advice, without saying what they were exactly. So if he took it serious he wouldn’t be here. but again. He’s not ready to be saved.)
The next thing he says..
“Do you think I can get her back? She says she loves me” (with a naive sense of hope)
No Daryl. But this gyro is banging right now, what time are we lifting tomorrow?
The Take Away
The only real hope here is that after a couple more let downs Daryl will open his eyes to the reality of it all.
We have all been Daryl. We are no longer Daryl. Or no longer have to be him. But Daryl is not ready to be saved from the false reality he has been raised to believe to be true. Daryl is still looking for hope in his blue pill beliefs.
It’s humbling and a good thing to see this shit first hand every now and then. To see how far we all have come. To think how we too used to do cringe shit like this. And to be glad that this place exists to stop living like this, we know better now. But To see one of your boys who is a grown man, crying, In the gym. Over an email from some post wall is enough to make ya sick. Sheesh.
All we can do is be good leaders/examples and friends. Instead of preaching red pill to your boys who aren’t ready to hear it, And wasting your breath. you can push them to be the best they can be along with you. Maybe one day they will jump aboard. We all needed to go through this type of shit to get where we are today. Daryl is just another one of us.
I never tell people what I think unless they ask, and when I do, they agree, but almost never listen.
And then almost every time they come back later and say you were right.
They need to be whipped and shat on multiple times until they're finally ready to listen and even then some would rather bathe in the shit than ever take a shower.
This is something I really have been trying to work on. I have an issue with wasting my breath on things. And trying to prevent people from make the same mistakes I have. So People will come to me asking for advice, and I let them know if they don’t take it X will happen.
The ones who don’t take it always come back saying I was right. But when they don’t take it. I have a problem with getting pretty brutal/aggressive with them in a “I’m telling you dude! I told you so!” Kind Of way. I’m trying to cut it out because I realize they need to go through it to really learn from it. And it’s also my ego trying to always prove I’m right.
It’s like I have this “father watching his son make the exact mistake he tried to prevent him from making” attitude. And it sucks to watch it all pan out when you knew it would but again. They don’t have that perspective yet and need to go through it. Just like I did to learn/get it.
We’re all a work in progress.
Growth through suffering is vital for a boy to become a man.
This comment ate my soul bro
Yrs, TRP is a process, not an event. Some guys are just too smart to get it. If you understand what that means, you’re on the right path. Kill the ego.
Yeah, it can be frustrating because often you care for them and you know full well it won't end well for them. You can see it playing out in front of you in textbook fashion every time.
But they are emotionally invested and need to be burned for it to be real for them. Otherwise you're just the one pissing on their fantasy. Make peace with this and let the process unfold.
I calmly advise them and then I wait for them to come back and that's usually where the real discussions begin. That's when they're ready to listen to why, because they don't want to feel like that again.
Just perfect. I was involved with a woman who was 16 years older than me. Every RP concept applied and worked 100% of the times but yeah, when you are emotionally invested is just too harsh to accept the reality. Only by be burned you'll learn, as I did, as we all have
It's okay to let people fuck up. It's not your fault, and its not your responsibility. Most of the time, it's necessary.
Accept it, and move on. People make mistakes, and that's okay. That's life.
This is another "attachment to outcome" just a different form than what happens if you approach a chick in a bar and she doesn't respond the way you hoped she would. The proper mindset with the gal in the bar is IDGAF ...and I believe it's the proper mindset here, too. Your responsibility and your degree of what you have any control over ends when you've said what you wanted to say. What the recipient does with that information is their business, not yours. We don't know what their path through life is, what they have to go through in order to find themselves. That process is unique to them, as yours is to you and mine to me. Who are we to judge, or even to understand?
So, the wise thing is to relinquish our need for a specific outcome and let reality unfold on its own. And the short form of that idea is: I Don't Give A Fuck
Give up the illusion of control. Truth is even someone like the Buddha had a red pill moment regarding life and the illusions he'd been fed. These guys really need to get kicked before they wake up, and virtually all of us are here right down to the TRP vanguards because we all got kicked at one point. Not so nice, but hey, now I'm grateful for it.
Just hope they're not so weak that they don't crumble from such blows. Love from a viewpoint of strength is simply not understood, it might sound scandalous if we write a story of the hero not self destructing after losing his girl these days.
OP you're a good friend but at what point, if any, do you "know" it is hopeless and give up altogether? Doing this is takes a lot of time and energy. I have and had similar tendencies to "help" my BP friends on multiple accounts.
Years of experience. Being with tons of women. Watching everything play out. RP knowledge. It all comes into play. I can be around a couple for 10 mins and tell you how things are and will end. Solely based on how the guy acts
The approach that seems to work best for me is asking them what is their intended outcome. If you choose A then you can expect B to be the outcome. If you choose C then you can reasonably expect D to happen. Then tell them to make a choice. The real value is when they make a choice and end up with the predicted results. And they have also learned that they have choices and should use them wisely instead of running blindly into situations hoping for an unrealistic outcome.
Instead of giving advice, I give them experience to learn from and how to be responsible for their choices.
Very true. I had a buddy I lift with just a few months ago tell me his current girl wanted a 'break.' I told him to call her right then and there and end it because she was either already with another guy or scouting one out. He whined and moaned to me about how he loved her but listened and followed through with it. Just yesterday he met me at the gym and told me he's starting to talk to another, much more attractive woman and that my advice was correct. He asked how I could be so certain of how the situation would play out and now I am trying to figure out how to lead him here.
Pain proceeds growth. Rock bottom is necessary in most facets of life.
This. Dude I can not tell you how many times I’ve been fucked over for being “the nice guy” this last time I said fuck it and said enough is enough. Me first. bitches second. It’s a process trying to change but I know it’ll be for the better
I am where I am now from experience, I had to learn for myself, and I think most people are the same way.
You get older, and you (hopefully) get wiser.
I never give out advise, even if it is the right one. Things have a way of biting you back in the ass.
Much better this way too. Less time spent listening to other people problems and more time for myself to relax, improve myself or hell, just do whatever I want.
that's the ONLY way people learn though. people need to LIVE AND BREATH failure. if they don't. they have no frame of reference for anything.
They always come back to me telling me that I was right all along, even asking sometimes for my forgiveness, just to make the same exact mistakes the next time they cross paths with a woman.
The Thirst is Real.
Really, though, she did him a favor.
Time to get that boy on a steady diet of Red Pill steak, Red Pill veggies and pie a-la Red Pill with Red Pill sauce on the side.
He’s lucky he is still comparatively young. In six months, he will hate himself for having been such a faggot.
Being 24 myself I wonder sometime's whether I've missed the boat. There's a lot of young RP'ers on here who seem to be way further ahead in their journey than I am
Thankfully, although I'm the same age as this 'Daryl' I'm at least somewhat more RP aware (this post made me cringe). Just need to knuckle down on my Game, and actually start smashing some women
Ha I’m 15 and I’m glad I found this at such a young age. Finding TRP really opened my eyes about women and the world as a whole.
Take a more objective view towards it, this is more of a blue pill than a red pill, its an alteration of the lens through which you view the matrix that's no more valid than a lens which contradicts it
Some of these posts I see here are valid, i.e., the post I saw saying women are a teammate in the game and not an adversary that must be conquered (sex is clearly a symbiotic relationship, you're not taking power over her by shoving your cock in her, if anything she has power over you if you change to become more attractive TO HER so that you can fuck her... She's not changing to have sex with you, yaknow? You're bending to her will)
Just things to keep in mind, this subreddit seems to be a few people with good ideologies and a lot of sheep who think they're wolves for following it
Nah, you’ve got years ahead of you.
Same, except I just turned 27.
As always, it would have been better to have swallowed the pill at 18, but doing it now is still much better than doing it at 36.
I’m 18, in my senior year of high school and I finished The Rational Male for the third time a couple weeks ago. It’s a mind fuck learning about this stuff and seeing it happen in its most natural form in a big public high school.
Hey man. Im 25.
Six months in and my lifes improved durastically.
Just lift, and everything in the sidebar will prove itself to be true.
24 is dare I say young to figure this shit out. Late 20s I think is par.
That may be too late, after a divorce. I think mid early twenties are the best years, since you've (hopefully) had some experiences with woman and you can reflect on them (atleast what I did) but you aren't that young so you can't understand it well.
Not sure exactly what you’re saying here. But I don’t think late 20s is “too late” by any stretch.
Before 25 is ahead of the curve.
25-30 is with the curve.
After 30 is behind the curve but def not “too late”.
40s is probably where you get into “too late” territory, although there are success stories of guys who turned it around during 40s.
Just wanted to say that late 20s may be too late since some guys already get married by that point.
Finding out TRP before marriage can save you really a lot of stuff, emotionally, financially, ...
Dude I'm 48 and I found this shit like six months ago. Don't be a pussy. You lost, what, maybe six years of adulthood to bloop? So much opportunity ahead of you it's absurd. Go fucking lift and stop pissing me off.
No matter how "old" you get (I know at 24, something like 30 feels ancient), there is always someone older than you that would love to be in your shoes.
It's not a competition. Compare yourself only to your self from yesterday.
If only I found it sooner. I'd of saved my 10 years worth of misery and money, however, there is no time like the present and it's been the best nine months of my life. Reading through Rollo's books and TRP threads it's a literal eye-opener. Once you swallow the pill you can never go back.
I just turned 49. Found this place 3 years ago. You've got 25 years on me. The best years of your life, bro. Don't waste the gift God has given you.
As the great Pook said in one of his posts, that behind every successful man there is a woman who rejected him.
Shit I’m getting a gym shirt made with that on it !
idk man, wearing a shirt that says some chick rejected you seems kinda cringe, you know? lol.
Yeah statement is true but a shirt seems a little Mgtow or nah?
Just, maybe do yourself a favor and... don’t wear it. Ever.
You are like screaming to the world that you are a BB. Haha
Found the guy with the great gatsby syndrome
I‘m sorry for Daryl, but everyone has to experience this. After seeing you fall so deep, you won‘t do the same mistake again. Experience is worth the pain.
You’re right. It’s good to add that in there. He needs to go through it.
Ah Daryl, we've all been there. Let's just hope he shelves this red pill sooner rather than later.
This is why it’s important to lift. You’ll attract women before you’re even mentally prepared.
To "shelve" something is to stop using it.
I meant shelve as in, sticking it up your rectum, enters your bloodstream quicker.
"Shove" . You're looking for "shove".
Shove, or boof. You are correct.
I see. I must be too old for this lingo. Thanks, TIL!
Yeah, I was very consciously Daryl. I even thought to myself, "I'll be a 'good man' one last time. I'll do everything that is expected of me, no matter how degrading, and we'll see how it goes, just so that I can know for sure." What followed was the most dismal year in my entire life. Daryl may possibly have the same wake-up call the next time around.
To be honest, the fact that he is going to have his heart broken and his BP nature questioned is great for him. You are already doing a great job with helping him, if you persist, you might change his life for the better. Good luck and great job OP
Yeah, I am Daryl right now. Wish I wasn't, but I can't escape it. I keep reading red pill stuff, and working on myself. Yes, I lift. 5x a week. I enjoy it.
Haven't been able to save myself yet. You don't want to know how long ago she broke up with me - it would make you disgusted. I can only hope that someday, somehow, I might yet make it.
You're on the right path man. It doesn't matter how long it will take, and someday you'll realize you're over her. You've already saved yourself by finding this sub and starting to implement it in your life.
Keep going. You're a better man compared to yesterday and will be greater tomorrow.
Most likely she doesn't exist. You have some idea about some girl, but that idea isn't what she truly is. That's the whole problem with this shit. The guy that OP is talking about has worked that much older women, who is married, with kids, into his dream girl. He's imagining she is someone she is not and can't break out of it - even with solid advice from OP.
Yep, pretty much. I know she doesn't exist. I knew she didn't exist at the time. Doesn't seem to matter sadly. Is that cognitive dissonance? Is that denial? Is it hope? Is that lack of self worth?
I still hold on to some idealized version of her. Scarcity mentality runs deep with me.
I don't really want her back as such. I just want this piece of me that feels love to have someone to feel love with. Being with her was just enough to make myself a little bit happier, for all it's problems. Now that it is gone, I feel like I lost more then an objective assessment would say I did.
I just don't want to be lonely anymore :(
It's the last line. You are willing to make up an imaginary person and then tie that to a real person only because you want to fill some loneliness void.
I don't have all the TRP answers as I'm still learning. I have chosen to put myself first over women. I do what I enjoy and do not need love from a woman to do that. Women are cool for companionship, sex, general feminine energy, but that's it. I no longer need to have a woman. I don't need to love a woman. They used to be my main focus in life. Now they simply are not. This means I no longer get lonely.
This can’t be stated strongly enough. Every time, and I mean every time I’ve ever obsessed over a woman, without fail it’s because I have some glorified idea of her that is just not true to what she really is.
She’s just another girl.
Bro are you banging other chicks??? Easiest cure for one itis is abundance
Can't get other chicks. Tried taking pickup courses and reading pickup material, but I can't pull it off. Online dating goes nowhere. Won't pay for prostitutes.
Ok.
The tone here sounds like depression and just banging your head against the wall trying to find a new love.
Forget this...
Go monk mode or mgtow for a while man. Just swear off pussy and jerk off when you need to. Focus on you until your heart is a cold iron stone
Yeah, I have been in depression for quite a while. Tried talk therapy and medication. No joy so far. But thanks for the advice!
Ok next question not trying to be rude... are you overweight?
Real question , can you afford to take a trip? Ideally out of the country. Even if it’s a week or less. You need a hardcore reset, you’ll find you’re way more confident in another environment, you’ll probably pick up some chicks too. Now that I think about it every big change in my life started first with a move or traveling of some kind. If you can even drive to another town for a while, that’ll help.
What are your hobbies, how do you spend your free time? I got some medication for you. It's called stepping out of your comfort zone.
Well how did you get your GF if you don't know how to pick up girls? You must know something. Maybe try banging out some below average girls that are beneath your standards for a bit? Having some girl be grateful just to be getting your dick (even if she's beneath you) will build your self esteem back up. That and lift until you feel like you're gonna throw up.
If it has really been as long as you say, think back to some of the memories you had together. I remember that my college girlfriend crushed me. I remember everything that happened. I remember that I was sad and angry. But when I think back on these memories now I don't actually feel anything.
As time goes on we lose the slowly lose the feeling and emotions associated with a memory an all that is left is a record of the facts, as if you are reading a book about someone else's life. If you're not there yet, know that one day you will access the memory file in your brain, skim through the data, and discover to your great shock that there is no longer any emotion attached to the memory. Then you will know you are over it. Fucking something else will also help. A lot.
I'm in the exact same boat as you my man. Keep going. Trust the formula.
The breakup is irrelevant. That's the past.
Look forward to improve yourself. That's all that matters now
"Why do we fall? To get ourselves back up."
Daryl is me 13 months ago. Some men open their eyes and begin using them for the first time; other men open their eyes and close them shortly after; and most men keep their eyes closed at all times.
Perhaps Daryl will find TRP, perhaps he will not. Deleting that email from his oneitis is about the most you can do right now for him.
Reminds me of one of my own friends, the rebuilding process for a man in this situation either goes slowly up or crashing down; I've seen both. He is very lucky to have you.
daryl was busting off in her raw dog.,. got caught up.
he'll be ok when he gets some young tender girls. he needed to go thru this pain.
It happens to the best of us when we're young.
He'll see the light when he finds out she is fucking the next desperate 20 something that smiles at her.
We have been sold an illusion that if you're in love, you must literally hook up a life support system to the other person and suck it all out of them and if you lose that, you crumble and suffer. If you aren't neurotic all day about someone, it probably means you don't love them, right?
This has NOTHING to do with love in abundance. There is no strength in this love either. Speaking of which, we have kind of devalued the virtue of strength altogether in favour of silly romanticism that's anyway vaporized at the slightest stress. This is simply hooking up a hose to the other person and totally losing one's frame in the process. Romeo and Juliet sounds emotionally intense, but is logically bullshit. No really, when you look at it, even murder-suicide can be made to feel really romantic, but it's still BS nevertheless. It was a kick, and for women any kick of emotion works, but for men, that's destructive.
This is in fact the way the moon works - living on borrowed light. The sun doesn't work like this. We have been fed on a diet of feminine correct forms of 'love' for so long we've totally forgotten the masculine dimension of love altogether - it certainly won't sell a romance novel if I wrote about a hero who came home to find his girl whom he totally loved dead, was shaken by the blow, but picked himself back up and shared his abundance with the next lucky person who came his way will it? I mean this sounds more like detachment than love, the kind of thing that a Buddha is likely to do, but there it is. You publish a book like this, and your editor will think you're crazy (and the women will totally hate the idea due to competition jealousy, but will far for a guy like that in real life almost all the time).
The closest women ever get to that is with their children.
Every other movie in my country goes like this -- Guy has love failure, turns to the bottle or the syringe or something else, and is brought back from the streets by his friends while the girl cries over it for a while and then becomes 'strong woman who moves on' (for a while, it is a movie remember) - or he goes mad and kills himself. The consolation is only if the woman was a complete bitch, and the guy finds a girl who's really 'worth it'. We forget that nearly all movies are written keeping female viewers in mind, and the whole masculine dimension of love has been forgotten. Now if you want to find it, you need to read spiritual stuff, where you will more often than not find the realized one having started out as a blue pill who eventually went red pill.
Daryl should check if one of her kids is of age and a female and fuck her daughter to establish dominance. /s 😂
That is the deepest red pill strategy right there. Fuck her 18 year old daughter. Damn what a chess move.
O man this takes my back to when I was redpilled, looking for that spark of hope and clinging on to it for your dear life. I guess just like muscle we have to be broken first before we can build ourself up again.
Question: do you take your boy Daryl out with you to show him how you pickup and close girls? or is he simply a gym buddy? perhaps he needs to be dragged out so you can show him your ways and he can have an eye opening to TRP.
Having a natural chad friend, and noticing how every woman checks him out was a huuuuuge motivator for me to lift.
He used to come out. He wouldn’t do much. I’d try to push him but I guess he’s shy.
But since her he don’t come out anymore
Dude, I need a friend like this in my life. I constantly find myself being Daryl, and cringe hard whenever I think about it. Makes me ill.
Be that friend to yourself. Perfect awareness is hard but still a worthy goal to strive for.
Solid post, the email part reminded me of this SNL skit
Slightly off topic but is he black? I've noticed black guys aren't as bothered by children and that sometimes they're even really into pregnant chicks.
Ages back I worked in an office attached to a warehouse. Lots of black guys worked in the warehouse and there were two chicks in the office who got pregnant at one point or another and they were just swarmed by these black warehouse guys trying to chat them up while they were pregnant.
I didn't understand it. Is it because they know she can't get pregnant if she's already pregnant or something? Like I could see that.
No it was because they had balls to hit on women that most guys don’t have.
Perhaps due to a significant chunk of the young attractive women in their communities are already being single mothers at a young age. They are used to having to compromise with kids to fuck hot chicks.
This is pure speculation.
You’re not wrong. The real issue is that guys in those communities don’t have abundance because the women get fat. If mothers stayed single and thin they would get bred and guys would take care of the kids they put into them. But they become hypergamous and fat.
All the hot chicks in my community got knocked up by absoloute losers, and drug dealers.
Its slim pickins in small town Nova Scotia, and it follows the AF/BB dynamic, also you can go from an 8 to a 4.5 from using speed. Dont do drugs kids!
And if you do drugs, at least bang hot chicks too!
I dont do drugs. But from what i gather chicks will do anything for cocaine.
Even though they could easily just.....buy it.
Wait for their kids to come of age Like 14 15 and be an asshole yourself
Also deal drugs. Think as you like but behave like others.
Yeah Dealing is arguibly thr quickest way to raise yout SMV.
May cause unforseen consequences if you dont lift and get sent to jail.
But they were MORE interested while pregnant. These chicks were getting more bees with vinegar.
We had a buddy in this same boat a few years back, a young lawyer with the world at his feet hung up on a glorified 6.
We were at a rooftop patio bar and you could easily read the tea leaves that this was going to derail the night (which happened to be a reunion of old highschool pals).
The most Alpha amongst us grabbed the dude's phone and nonchalantly chucked it off the building (workphone too) and just kept talking, didn't miss a beat of conversation. Buddy's lip trembled for a moment and then he had the best night of his life.
The dark irony is that even the Alpha in question would later relapse into chronic oneitis years later... this shit is a process, boys.
Life is a constant struggle. If you get comfortable for a little you are gonna get fucked. I find reading TRP from time to time keeps me from being too complacent at times.
I used to be a beta bitch back in the day. Never in my most blue-pilled days though would I ever have fallen for a woman 17 years older than me. That is quite simply the most pathetic thing I have ever heard.
I've fallen for a woman 16 years older than me... I can feel you mate
The Caesarean way:
I have washed my hands. This man’s blood is not on my hands. Take him away!
Pontius Pilate, but we know what you meant.
And quite appropriate depending on your relationship with the person
Yet you have 2 upvotes and he has 6. Democracy in a nutshell.
All because we were raised on this hippy love bullshit. We need to realize men are only ever appreciated for what value they bring to others' lives. There's no love.. men can only hope for appreciation. Never get hooked on to it though. Appreciation is fickle..
Sometimes you just have to be hit over the head with it. This is something I know from experience. The worst part is when you know what you are doing wrong, but you just have to be punched in the gut a couple of times before you truly implement anything. I got divorced, which should have been enough, and in the immediate period following the separation, I was doing just fine. What do I do? I let my dumbass fall in love. I agreed to exclusivity. Now, that is probably something I could have managed just fine if I would have done the things I knew I had to do. I broke so many of the principles. This wasn't out of ignorance; I knew what I was supposed to do. I just didn't do it. That all went as you might expect. Losing a relationship you value is bad enough. The whole thing being so predictable is just a kick in the head. On the bright side, I have another practical experience now.
I feel you man. It’s hard to resist. Something about femininity, just softens a lot of men up. That’s my biggest issue, I know where I’m taking the wrong turns but I just can’t help it sometimes.
This is something I’ve gotten way better at over time, but only because I’m constantly mindful of it and force myself to act. Granted, I’m in an LTR now too still, so maybe I have a ways to go.... but my girl is a straight up man eater and I handle her better than I’ve handled any previous woman.
You’ll get better, keep being mindful
Very similar experience with by buddy and teammate. Got his heart broken and now instead of doubling down on living a good life he's quitting our ball league to hold bible study sessions in his house. Pisses me off, but he's not ready.
Tell him to sell his coat and buy a sword.
All I have to add is that you appear to be a great friend. I admire your patience and frame control throughout. The takeaway from your post for me was to push through emotions and keep doing simple things to improve. I hope your buddy looks back and can appreciate that you, instead of placating the feefees, powered through at the gym and then spent time afterward to enjoy eachother's company. That is the best we can do for others and ourselves. Get out of our heads and look at reality.
For the record, I expected Daryl to spiral out and bail at the gym. There is hope for him yet. He realises the importance of the work you do together. Maybe he will be the prize, too, someday.
We've all been there. Sooner or later... the sooner the better imo, so you can realize about it, swallow the pill and move forward at a young age
Daryl just fucked himself. How do you get over oneitis when you have to talk to her at work? Maybe OP will post an update in the next few weeks.
Wow he got off easy. I thought it would end very differently. Should be happy.
Took a psychology class. Professor was really high on Milton Erickson and his "metaphors" and how they implanted themselves deep in the mind. He'd get the client in a hypnotic trance then use a story or metaphor if you will about whatever the client came to see him about. And yes, we come to it when we need it, but when you get this guy in the middle of HIS workout start dropping the lessons. "I remember a time I had oneitis. Blah, blah, hurt like hell, blah, never again, blah since then i've blah ..." He'll be distracted with the weights so it will go straight in.
Pain is weakness leaving the body. He'll come around
I'm Daryl right now. My LTR left me because of my SMV dropped suddenly for a personal problem and (coincidentally) she met another guy with much bigger SMV than me (He's a huge beta but a local celebrity nevertheless). Yeah, oneitis, I know. It can happen to you, don't come at me all cocky because it will happen to you.
She sent me that email, didn't even read it. It will say some excuse, I already knew what happened.
Thing is, I know if I increase my SMV, parade with other girls, etc. she might come back some day. She will likely not. Knowing what's happening to you, and why happened, didn't really help as I feel like shit anyways. TRP is not the path to happiness, but the path to knowledge and enlightenment and those things are often mutually exclusive.
I'm obviously a blue-pill, with RP knowledge, but hey, it takes time.
The fact that you’re aware that you are bluepill and you’ve already seen the way things truly are, makes you RedPill whether.
Now, there are varying degrees of RP, but as long as you understand the way things are, work on yourself constantly and don’t follow along blindly like the rest of the sheep, you are RP/unplugged.
I had a burrito after heavy benching yesterday, shit was amazing.
I smoked a little j right before last nights workout, then on the way home on a humid night I bought a box of 30 popsicles and enjoyed the fuck out of a few
On the one hand, there is the “elitist” (or I would even go as far to say Nietzschean) view that says RP is for those who can truly overcome themselves and attain a sense of “master morality.” On the other hand, there is the egalitarian view which supposes that everybody can overcome regardless of how they are by nature.
Leading by example is important because it doesn’t necessarily imply that one has to settle on one view of the other. While I do believe that “overcoming” is a self-selective process (that is, one has the freedom to choose to overcome, as opposed to divine dispensation or even receiving passive, circumstantial social selection which is ostensibly democratic), this does not mean necessarily that there are some who outright will never be suitable to take the Red Pill.
What is usually troubling to people is when they become conscious of their freedom. This is when emotions such as guilt arise, as people are often taught from an early age to feel guilty for doing wrong, and it is easy to do wrong when one is free. So there is a socially received doctrine of morality as well as an armature to guide one in how they ought to feel when behaving coupled with a strong yearning to avoid feelings of guilt.
Indoctrination is incompatible with TRP. So, when you advise someone about RP, they are not your disciple. Rather, they are your interlocutor, for what is occurring is a dialectic, not indoctrination. If someone approaches TRP with the presupposition that they are a disciple, then they are also admitting that they cannot find truth on their own. Hence, we see RP-robots parroting this or that platitude.
How does this connect to the two views?
One must inavitably choose to participate in dialectic with their interlocutors. More so in person than on the internet. So there is a sort of guild or “elitism,” but it is predicated on encouraging others to find truth for themselves. Searching for truth is not reserved for the few.
I wonder if a noble lie in this case would have been best? What if you told Daryl, “yeah, dude, you can win her back blah blah blah?” What would be necessary then, in dialectic, to encourage him to find the truth on his own from his experience?
hold my theory text i’m heading in
Holy fuck.........
He’s at the breaking point. Just give him a push
This is the main reason I usually tell my fraternity brothers to never settle down at the age we're at. Not settling down minimizes your chances of catching oneitis (though some still catch it from fuckbuddies, me having been one of them) and you get to have sex on a consistent basis with multiple women. Better than settling down with one girl at a young age.
You'd be surprised that even the alphas of the group still don't abide by this. They question why I aim to only settle down in my mid-30s when I have my shit together. They either have fuckbuddies or are consistently "on and off" with a single girl.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink
I would have asked him when shopping for milk does he buy an expired jug of milk?
That's what he did, went after a expired jug of milk when fresher milk is available.
He don’t care. He’s too emotionally invested
I know he doesn't feel it now- but time heals all wounds. Also a fresh jug of milk helps!
24 is way too old to be getting like that.
Bro some guys come here in their late 40s still acting like this. Any age is too old to be acting like that. But no age is too late to fix it
My dad is late 50s, widowed a couple years ago. He is trying to date again and he is the most pathetic blue pill simp I have ever seen. He "loves women," and "just wants someone to spend time with." I've tried to drop a few nuggets but I don't even know where to start and he doesn't seem to have much interest in changing his worldview. I have a mixture of pity for his situation, disgust at his weakness, and dread at how unhappy this is all going to make him.
Learnt my lesson at 19. Which was 22 years ago; no such thing as the red pill back then. Was my second oneitis. Eventually I looked at myself in the mirror and said fuck this bitch, you gotta move on and never put yourself in that situation again. That situation was the friend zone but I didn't have a name for it.
Next relationship was way more successful cos the amount of shit I was willing to take was vastly reduced, and she respected me for that.
Yeah, when I graduated high school there was just "The Ladder Theory" floating around online 15 years ago, no red pill. I always thought you get two big heartbreaks though - 1) the friend zone girl who never sleeps with you and shuts you down (usually around age 15-18) and then 2) the girl you really like and actually fuck but she then shuts you down (18-22) and after that you really don't need any more lessons.
we've been there.... took me 2 oneitisses (is that the word?) to get ready...
You have to be red pill before you become red pill. In other words, you are your own teacher. No one can change you except yourself.
Wow. That guys sounds really beta. Maybe you can help him find another female fuck buddy or something. Not sure if hes attached to her. or just attached to the sex.
I'm basically half a Daryl. I have oneitis. I put myself out there, try to improve myself (gym + uni), but she is always in my mind. I get with women but I can't commit because they are not as good as her. My brain won't downgrade and finding an equal or upgrade is proving difficult so my brain is stuck on her!
Sometimes, we know stuff is shitty and we know we shouldn't feel or act a certain way, but we can't help it.
i propose Daryl to be a unit of TRP measure
Moral to the story: Daryl didn't make as much as this bitch's husband.
You guys are too sensitive to comedy ,it’s like watching the view or something?
Heh. I lost a friend this way; he wasn't ready and no matter what, he held out on hope. He's going to call me in 2-3 years and tell me that I was right, and I'm going to laugh at him and hang up the phone. LoL
I have a bro just like Daryl. I convinced him to start lifting. I've been working on his confidence. I've showed him this sub and I assign him stuff to read. He trusts me because he sees how much I slay.
The unexpected benefit of lifting up your bros is that they will also lift you up when you stumble. There was a time this summer where I started to get oneitis for a particularly hot chick I was banging. I stopped seeing my other plates. My bro called me out on it. He told me where it was going and what was going to happen. It was like a "student becomes the teacher" moment. He was right. Not long after, shit crumbled because the girl was on a pedestal. He was there for me when I fell. Now I'm back to spinning plates, and the hot chick even came back. My feelings are back behind the wall I built, and I'm back to feeling like the confident person I am.
Dude you try too hard to look n sound cool. Its easy to spot. Its funny how so many guys let women tell them how to be. Womwn like this...so you gotta be that lol.
I don’t think he’s trying too hard to sound cool. I think it’s it writing style. Been following him for a while he knows his shit. You just sound like a hater
In my darkest moments, things like this read cheer me up
It’s nice having been Daryl and not being Daryl anymore.
Always remember lads, she’s not in love with you - she’s in love with the emotions you make her feel.
Daryl lost his sense of self worth. How can a women play on his emotions that hard. Don't be a Daryl. Be a great f*cking trp guy and live in the moment for yourself LOL
I think she did your friend a favor..and she's right you know. She's too old..wtf is he doing with her? I wouldn't do her even if I was 40 and your friend is lusting after her when hes 24?
Maybe you could have just given him a hug and comforted him so he knows he doesnt have to go to some vampiric woman twice his age just to get his emotional needs met. Or is that too "gay" for you "bro"?
Its less about him being unable to be saved and more about him lost in unexplored territory. He went far into the wilderness. Eager to explore for as long it bore fruit for the taking. His inexperience with potential crippling chaos of the unknown territory, despite the warnings from others, and the positive reinforcement left him unprepared to be cautious of hazards and act as if there was something in the unknown waiting for him to be in a position where he couldn't see it sneaking on him to pounce while he's vulnerable. One negative position would be possessed by your own animus.
I'm not religious, but the 10 commandments and virtues that opposed 7 deadly sins weren't accidents. And they weren't arbitrary, but he crossed all of them and know he's in a kind of purgatory and death. They were some major meta guidelines. In fact, they were some B.asic I.nstructions B.efore L.eaving E.arth. 😅😅