319,171 posts

A woman's prime directive is emotional conquest

by MrCongeniality1 on /r/TheRedPill
21 December 2018 08:26 PM UTC
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It has been said that a woman would rather share a high quality man than have a low quality man all to herself. This is not a statement born of lengthy life experience. In real life, a woman may temporarily accept your divided attention but she will gradually use every tool she can to claw her way to being your one and only.

Hypergamy is a fundamental TRP principle, but this sub wrongly focuses on half of the story of female hypergamy. A woman wants a high quality man. End of story? Negative. A woman wants the dedication of a high-quality man.

Emotional Conquest:

It has been said, wisely, that your primary source of power with a woman (particularly in modern society), is your attention. The woman that seduces you with nightly blowjobs and the woman that threatens to take your kids away are the same woman - they are simply using different tools or circumstances for the same goal - to make herself the center of your mental and emotional universe.

Consider every movie, novel, or song marketed for women. The common thread is the same. You are my world.

It is imperative for men to understand and internalize that every interaction you have with a woman is governed by an overarching prime directive: emotional conquest***.***

Understanding this fundamental psychological motivation is more important than any other RP theory. You can become a fat, lazy slob that plays Candy Crush all day and your girlfriend/wife might scream at you and cheat on you, but if you don't give a fuck about her leaving, she will never break up with you. A woman's desire for emotional conquest is her biggest motivator, more so than the desire for a high-quality mate. And once she achieves it, no amount of SMV is going to save you.

Likewise, raising your SMV without understanding this motivation is about as smart as wearing antlers in the woods in November. You are better off becoming a fat Candy Crush addict, than updating your wardrobe, lifting some weights, and getting charged with rape for dumping a girl.

Some Theory:

Social psychologists have observed that relationship anxiety occurs at different times for men and women. For men, they are most obsessed with a romantic prospect before sexual intimacy. For women, the anxiety occurs after sexual intimacy. Most men will have at least some experience with how clingy women get after you bed them.

But if women are anxious to maintain the relationship, why do we have female infidelity and divorce rape? This flies in the face of our cultural understanding of female pair bonding. The usual TRP explanation (hypergamous branch-swinging) is lacking; while this may describe behaviors on an evolutionary scale, evolutionary forces don't express themselves so directly in individual organisms. You aren't thinking about kids when you want to fuck a woman are you? Procreation and polygyny are the evolutionary frameworks that crafted male sexual desire, but, psychologically, men just want to fuck. Likewise, the framework of hypergamy does not make women perfect SMV-calculating supercomputers. In service to the framework of hypergamy, evolution has crafted women with a more primitive motivation: the need to emotionally conquer men.

If men are driven toward sexual conquest and lose interest after it is achieved, women are driven by emotional conquest and lose interest after it is achieved. Internalizing that a woman's interaction with you is ultimately a path toward conquest (and everything that concept usually entails) will allow you to better understand and navigate your relationships with women.

Understanding Blue Pill failure:

Understanding the psychological motivation for conquest makes many TRP observations even more readily digestible than the usual discussion of hypergamy.

Why does the cross-fit guy or rich dude still get cheated on? Women care more about emotional conquest than the notions of SMV that men will readily respect.

Why do women allow narcissistic losers to treat them like shit? The social/emotional challenge is how women are programmed to experience reality, a woman's desire to win the aloof jerk is equivalent to a man's desire for bedding a virgin.

What is it about the "loner" that drives women wild? To women, the loner is the promise of an "alpha male" that they will have all to themselves.

Why do we consider slutty women damaged? Despite what the feminist sexual revolution tries to say about sex, women are not sexually motivated like men are. A woman's sexuality is driven by her desire for attention. The emotionally needy woman is, more often than not, the woman that jumps quickly into bed with you.

Why does sex die the moment you cohabitate? She never cared about sex, she cared about attention. Now she can expect you to listen to her replay every conversation she had today without giving you anything in return. Her sexuality will be activated for men that she can't otherwise coerce into paying her attention.

Understanding TRP recommendations:

From the idea of emotional conquest, we can also better understand many TRP recommendations.

Why do you need to maintain your own life? It's not the "mystery", it's because it avoids her complete emotional conquest.

Why do you need to keep doing new things and meeting new people? Because it is new territory in your life that doesn't revolve around her.

Why does push/pull work? You are casting your emotional investment as the proverbial carrot on the stick.

How does this help me?

Viewing female behavior through this lens does not contradict TRP knowledge, but if you put the idea of emotional conquest first in how you interpret female behavior, it will help reorder your priorities.

  1. You will prioritize preserving power, independence, and frame. This will protect you and make you more attractive at the same time.
  2. You will set better boundaries and you will see her manipulations for what they are when she tries to integrate herself into every aspect of your life. You will demote women more quickly when they do not respect your boundaries and make fewer excuses out of sexual desperation.
  3. Your suspicion will help you prioritize women that support your independence instead of falling for whichever girl gives you the craziest sex.
  4. If you play with fire and spend time with the girl giving you crazy sex, you will know that she will feel entitled to do whatever she can get away with to get her emotional return on investment.
  5. You will understand that plates break when they think they have stopped making progress toward further emotional investment and you will more intelligently pace your investment.
  6. You will understand the simple power and value of your attention, you will use it more sparingly and stop diluting the natural value of your attention with shitty PUA game.
  7. You will understand that a woman needs to feel special and that you have to exude a level of discrimination for her to feel that way and want your investment.
  8. You will stop thinking about relationships lasting "forever" because there is always an end (conquest or plateau), and you will understand why hot-and-heavy starts won't last long.
  9. You will understand why it is up to you to end relationships. If you succeed in developing good frame, a woman will never leave you no matter how shitty things get.
  10. You won't ever let a woman think you will be hurt by her leaving because you understand that is their whole endgame.

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Post Information
Title A woman's prime directive is emotional conquest
Author MrCongeniality1
Upvotes 679
Date 21 December 2018 08:26 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/53204
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/a8e18m/a_womans_prime_directive_is_emotional_conquest/
Similar Posts


183 upvotesjbpostv1 year ago

I saw this really batshit quote on some models story the other day: “She hasn’t won you over until she stops annoying you.” Basically saying she won’t consider her work done until you let her cave in your frame, fail shit tests out of fatigue of the stupid mind games, become a compliance doormat to an emotional tyrant and normalize her shitty behavior which acts as a test if you still have the standards to call her out on it. An ex of mine once confessed she got turned on when I would yell at her and stick up for myself when we would argue but was frustrated because I was lowkey mad and she was horny. It’s so hard for us to relate to and understand, I was shocked, but it changed my view of things entirely. They don’t just want you to be the boss, they want you to remain the boss despite their resistance. Dominance must be tested.

upvotes50 years ago

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68 upvotessuperyute1 year ago

wants to leave but doesn't

I call this phenomenon time wasting

11 upvotesyomo861 year ago

It's a significant line between being too tired to give a shit about nonsensical drama and just walk or let her have her hissy fit and being too mushy to put up any resistance to her demand and playing along.

5 upvotesDancesWithPugs1 year ago

Try laughing it off / not reacting / taking time for yourself. I know what you mean about getting exhausted, maybe you are getting drawn in to the drama and not really passing all the tests. Some games the only way to win is not to play.

"I see you are frustrated. I'm going to go for a walk now, let me know later when you're not as upset." Might piss her off but don't be bluffing, calmly leave on your walk or errand. Make it work for you.

3 upvotesMorphs_1 year ago

You are at this spot on the spectrum where you have frame/SMV, but for whatever reason it is not high enough for her so it must be tested to a crazy degree. It's extremely exhausting indeed.

4 upvotesmagx011 year ago

I just want to be alone at this point. What is this called?

The result of a cost benefit analysis. Juice ain't worth the squeeze once you start getting older.

10 upvotesredhawkes1 year ago

They want to put up a fight, but they want you to win.

5 upvotesjbpostv1 year ago

They don’t want losers, that’s the test

10 upvotesdingleburry_joe1 year ago

The goal/battle of every relationship is best seen for how long you can be the boss/dominant. Literally why I read the practical female psychology book and reread it again. She gonna throw mind games at you from every which way but Sunday to find that crack in your armor. It's one thing to read the sidebar and these posts, it's another to transfer this shit in real life. It's hard to erase years of blue pill mentality and see myself make mistakes.

3 upvotesXzow1 year ago

like dogs or disobedient soldiers under your command, lol.

3 upvotesOfficerWade1 year ago

Well said, women want you to be a man so they can be a women. They’ve been the man their whole life’s- rejecting beta boys and cashing in when they feel desperate or lonely. Most women get a bad rep because guys have treated them poorly but like any dog found in a shelter you know that puppy can love you in ways a well trained German Shepherd can’t do.

upvotes50 years ago

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31 upvotesThisismybot81 year ago

You won't ever let a woman think you will be hurt by her leaving because you understand that is their whole endgame.

Yes in theory, once marriage is achieved, women have completed their emotional conquest. This explains shitty marriages and divorce rates.

But how does this theory address successful marriages? Having hobbies and seeming to not give a fuck will only get you so far. The reality is, once you're married, there is no doubt that you will be hurt (financially and emotionally) by her leaving. She knows that, you know that, and society knows that.

Otherwise, this is a powerful post by OP.

40 upvotesyungassed1 year ago

It's less about her capability to hurt you, which like you said is always possible after marriage, it's more about how much you care and your ability to recover from such an event.

My go to example of a successful marriage is this millionare EM doc who's main hobbies are ultra endurance sports/mountaineering. He is a loving and devoted husband, but you can always sense an underlying sense of deattachment. I fully believe to him, if his wife were to leave and take all his money and kids, he honestly be happy as he would have more time to spend in the mountains. While divorce can financially destroy him, is will only emotionally free him by spending more time on his beloved hobbies and thus why his wife (probably) will never leave him.

Oppose that to the stereotypical wallstreet guy who's self worth mainly stems from his social status, wealth and how hot is trophy wife is. These men get crushed in ltr elationships failing and tend to have a hard time recovering (dependant on how easily they can earn more money again, but made more difficult by a destroyed ego). He only thinks hes a hotshot because he has all these materistic things, but once that's taken away from him in a divorce, he is both financially and emotionally conquered.

20 upvoteshobeezus1 year ago

Seems like a healthy dose of Stoicism will give you a lot of mileage in this regard. If I am content with whatever happens, she has no power.

8 upvotesdingleburry_joe1 year ago

Agreed. My goal should be to build a life where I wouldn't give a fuck if she leaves.

8 upvotesRedPillCoach1 year ago

If I am content with whatever happens, she has no power.

No woman has power over you except that which you give her.

12 upvotesyomo861 year ago

I don't really know, but knowing myself and some married alpha males who happen to be humans , too, a succesful marriage is just a marriage in which the man played the system and his wife well enough so it does not fail.

But like in russian roulette there will be a moment when it all goes boom. There is no society, no values, no anything anymore stopping the women from inserting a bullet in the gun of marriage pointing at you.

Marriages are not built on some sort of contract anymore to have a family being there for child raising but on feelz alone, her feelz alone.

57 upvotespnzndltn1 year ago

Brilliant post man, truly. I fully understand what you're saying, especially by thinking of past failures and successes. It stands to reason this is truly the crux of staying in power as a man.

I'm pretty sure I just leveled up.

2 upvotesTheShearerComplex1 year ago

Not until you take some action on this.

46 upvotesBobbyPeru1 year ago

One of the best posts I’ve seen in a while

39 upvotesIsaacJRLi1 year ago

Amazing post. I was struggling with this concept for a while. Thank you for sharing.

81 upvotesGSstreetfighter1 year ago

Posts like this will return TRP to it's former glory. So undeniably true. When young girls establish their pecking order, their heirarchies, the emotional component is greater. When young boys establish their pecking order, their heirarchies, the physical component is greater.

When men are confronted with weaponized emotions, they have NO idea how to play this new game. They are lost.

Just be aware that it is in fact a game of conquest, for which you are ill-prepared

9 upvotesMorphs_1 year ago

You know, if you look at it from a physical (men) vs emotional (women) perspective, it occurs to me that emotional warfare and manipulation by women is perfectly fine, but the physical part isn't.

22 upvotesbanooty1 year ago

This is pretty eye opening. Things I never could've explained were made crystal clear with this...wow.

22 upvotesFlying_Wingback1 year ago

Good read. I especially like 3 and 4 on that list, very important points to follow in order to not fall for the BPD trap that's been discussed here in the last week or so.

20 upvotesIAMABIASEDSCIENTIST1 year ago

What is it about the "loner" that drives women wild? To women, the loner is the promise of an "alpha male" that they will have all to themselves.

When I'm alone and dgaf about anyone else for some reason the hottest girls are into me. But as soon as I show interest it fades away. I'm still working on that but it's insane how that works.

I was staying at a hostel and the hottest girl there was into me. When we went out i was gaming some of the other hotties in the club and probably would have hooked up with her if i didnt get too drunk/phone died/get lost/etc. She was even forcing herself to make out with some gay dude to spite me.

Anyways the second night i had total oneitis for her and froze up and went full beta (told her sister who was on the trip that i was into her instead of being a fucking man and taking her for myself) The rest of my stay all of the other girls, who were super into me at the beginning, lost interest and almost ignored me.

The girl even gave me another chance a few nights later, standing next to me at this shitty concert which we were at and she was begging me take her. Girls will make themselves available and it is a mans job to take it if they want it.

I'm disappointed in myself but I learned that girls want attention from a man who's attention is worth having. Meaning a man who isn't obsessed with them. As soon as there is a shift in that mentality everything gets thrown out the window

1 upvoteszephyrprime1 year ago

Yeah as soon as you tell the sister she will spill the beans to the girl.

19 upvotesAGameofTrolls1 year ago

I wish I could double save or double star this awesome post.

19 upvotesyeahmaybe21 year ago

My take-aways.

A woman wants the dedication of a high-quality man.

Her ​goal is to make herself the center of your mental and emotional universe.

Every interaction you have with a woman is governed by an overarching prime directive: emotional conquest.

A woman's interaction with you is ultimately a path toward conquest.

Evolution has crafted women with a primitive motivation: the need to emotionally conquer men.

A woman's desire for emotional conquest is her biggest motivator. If you don't give a fuck about her leaving, she will never break up with you.

Women are driven by emotional conquest and lose interest after it is achieved.

A woman's sexuality is driven by her desire for attention.

She doesn't care about sex, she cares about attention.

Maintain your own life, avoid her complete emotional conquest.

35 upvotesLiart131 year ago

I’ve never understood why my women always cling to me like their life depends on it. Until now. I see myself as an unstable introvert, they see me as a handsome loner with a good job and a house, a good material for BB guy, a fucking trophy. “Well I’m just soo cool, apparently” - I thought. Reality is harsher, as always. Thanks for the post!

38 upvotesAuvergnat1 year ago

I am very very keen on red pill theory, and must say I am surprised to see in 2018 a piece of fairly original theory material that seems to hold water. Unfortunately it comes at the wrong time of the year so bookmarking it to come back to it later to give it my full attention. Would be very good to have Rollo's opinion on this.

I hope the mods sticky it so that it stays up as long as possible to generate the most discussion possible.

16 upvoteskittyclaw2001 year ago

As I tell my teen boys:

"Girls are kittens and you're the toy. After the kitten catches the toy it gets bored quickly and will want to chase a new toy."

6 upvotesreversec1 year ago

the good ol cat string theory

16 upvotespostreformedpua1 year ago

This explains why women dominate in marketing and why we're susceptible to it while having inbuilt disgust for it.

When we talk about frame we're talking about the mental resistance to emotional manipulation. That is what all marketing is, it's what everyone in your life will do to you at some point, men and women, consciously or unconsciously. From your plate trying to have 'a serious discussion about our future' to your boss trying to get you to stay late 'because you're letting down the team'. It's important to have a defence and the biggest one is firstly being able to recognise it and secondly be able to flip it back on them.

Being free of emotional manipulation is to be truly free.

1 upvotesjon_pat1 year ago

and why we're susceptible to it

o_0 marketing never worked on me, and from what i've seen it mostly convince women rather than men (hence why feminism and marketing exploded at the same time)

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

marketing never worked on you? you’ve never bought anything that wasn’t essential to your survival?

13 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago


Back before I took the RedPill, I was a hopeless Beta. Once I made the wife think I was going to cheat on her, she returned to the girl I dated BEFORE we got married. Of course, the "Red Pill" helped me become the ALPHA I was before I got married - the man she coerced attention from!

11 upvotesNov516051 year ago

Excellent read !
"If men are driven toward sexual conquest and lose interest after it is achieved, women are driven by emotional conquestand lose interest after it is achieved. "

Along with that, she also wants a legally enforceable marriage "contract" with a high priced "buyout" (divorce) as part of the conquest - even the trad THOT / "red pill women"

11 upvotesLuckyluke231 year ago

now i understand why every romcom has the guy obsessed with the girl. they are trying to get as much emotional investment for a little gain as possible.

You won't ever let a woman think you will be hurt by her leaving because you understand that is their whole endgame.

great post man. i really enjoy this line too. if you change your endgame. you will have to change the start game too.

11 upvotesHeadingRed1 year ago

"but if you don't give a fuck about her leaving, she will never break up with you."

Should be on the list of "TRP iron-clad truths"

Good post brother.

11 upvotesThirstySasquatch1 year ago

The line you mentioned about "if you don't give a fuck, she'll never leave you" has been so true.

Some of my early girlfriends I did everything to try and hold on to them but if anything, it expediated the breakup. The last few girlfriends, I didn't give a shit and couldn't get rid of them.

Now I just don't deal with it at all.

Good write up man!

8 upvotesethansight1 year ago

Great write-up man. Really some important concepts and priorities that run very close to core TRP principles

9 upvotestaiwanfitness1 year ago

This is revolutionary. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

8 upvotesicaruslevi1 year ago

I like the way of thinking, feels like it can be applied very practically.

Question tho... SURELY if you become a fat, lazy slob that plays Candy Crush all day she's gonna leave you

even if you don't care???

Not caring and ignoring her, not appreciating her would contribute to her leaving, no??

Can anyone chip in from experience?

6 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

It's an extreme example. He was just trying to make clear what behaviors should be the first priority.

7 upvotesRainySeasonInPH1 year ago

This is a major and important advance in theory. Branch-swinging opportunistic hypergamy posited here on TRP, just does not describe real-world behavior in many instances.

Female drive for emotional conquest both fully fits observable facts in the real world, and gives men better much better leverage in managing relationships.

Amazingly good article. This really ought to become a regular part of the Red Pill knowledge base.

26 upvotesjustchilllllin1 year ago

So things like social media provide all the attention she needs which basically removes her drive for emotional conquest with guys in the real world?

49 upvotesxddm26531 year ago

No, no chick can be fully satisfied just off social media attention. It's like porn for guys. Itll do if they have nothing else but deep inside they're gonna want the real thing

11 upvotesLookMyUsername1 year ago

Great analogy. Explains why girls care so much about followers.

1 upvotesjon_pat1 year ago

this should be in the main post too

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

If my male emotions aren't satisfied by social media, no way hers are.

2 upvotesryandiy1 year ago

Jet emotions are the most complex of all.

3 upvoteszephyrprime1 year ago

Partially yes. I think social media is bringing about a decline in the amount of relationships and sex in the real world.

8 upvotesthrowabcdaway31 year ago

Despite what the feminist sexual revolution tries to say about sex, women are not sexually motivated like men are.

Lol. Not every girl is clingy after bed. Some never want to see u again even when they had a good time

3 upvotesryandiy1 year ago

Yeah often because they want to get back to their boyfriend or husband

3 upvotesthrowabcdaway31 year ago

Because they just wanted to fuck and you are boring as fuck despite the muscles.

12 upvotesryandiy1 year ago

That's exactly why I try not to be too interesting.

5 upvotesInuyashaswrath1 year ago

Great post. I don't fully understand priority number 7 on the list however. I feel like it is at odds with the abundance mentality one must adopt. How does one "exude a level of discrimination" and make her feel special while displaying a willingness to leave for greener pastures at any moment?

15 upvotespnzndltn1 year ago

My understanding is that you're basically giving off a vibe that she needs to earn your affection/attention (which should be the case). You discriminate by making it clear you don't give it to everyone (which you shouldn't). When she gets it, she feels accomplished and special. You, meanwhile, are prepared to drop her at any second if need be. She values your time and attention and is willing to pay your price tag with the understanding that if she stops paying, you take your sexy ass down the road to the next buyer who will.

5 upvotesz2a1-91 year ago

Nicely broken down and overall great theoretical outlook bub!

6 upvotesjonpe871 year ago

This has much to do with the sense of hierarchical positions that our brain frame people. More primeval brains tends to respond more strongly to that sense, and woman are very primeval.

Aloof = he dont care = many social options in the hierarchy= high position.

Very stupid to be fair, but hey a lot of people fear cockroachs, instincts triumph logic.

This dinamic has evolved to be the sense of narcisism in our brain, so every time a person emotionaly ignores you, not out of resentment, but real indifference to your existence, your instincts reacts.

Was with base on this that Mistery approached girls on clubs, very aloof and distant.

5 upvotesRazkolol1 year ago

Great post, long story short focus on your shit, maintain your frame, give enough attention for them not to go crazy and enjoy life. Getting emotionally conquered is literally impossible if you know some basic rp principles.

5 upvotesKissTheBridesmaid1 year ago

Great Post. This is also why women need you to suffer deeply after the break up and will sacrifice even their own dignity if it will hurt you. To emotionally destroy you is an important form of validation for her.

9 upvotesmonsieurhire21 year ago

Agreed with much of what you wrote, until:

"She never cared about sex, she cared about attention. Now she can expect you to listen to her replay every conversation she had today without giving you anything in return. Her sexuality will be activated for men that she can't otherwise coerce into paying her attention."

I'm not sure what kind of women you've been bedding, but their sexual appetite is voracious. They can have endless multiple orgasms: clitoral, and vaginal. Their orgasm lasts longer than ours does. We only get 1 brief orgasm after some pleasurable build-up, then we need a bit of time to recharge.

With the right partner, the woman turns into a sex demon and will fuck your brains out.

Of course, she could be fucking your brains out AND cucking you at the same time BECAUSE she's a greedy pig of a sex demon who can't get enough cock, and there is no mechanism to stop her, and many to enable her, namely the Internet, the computer, the smart-phone, the bar, the automobile, the hotel, the work-place, etc. So, anytime she's not around you for some reason, it can be an opportunity to fuck some other guy/s or girl/s. It's as easy as having a burner phone with some clandestine social media profiles showing only the choicest bits, but no face, because guys aren't choosy.

upvotes50 years ago

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1 upvotesmonsieurhire21 year ago

Why can't it be both? You do know that women are multi-orgasmic, right? They like sex more than we do, in some respects. Our sexuality peaks at 16, theirs peaks at 35. Orgasms are an addictive drug. If they weren't sexual, they could get attention elsewhere. Also, even women that get plenty of attention and validation in a number of ways STILL like to have lots of sex, provided their sexuality falls within the "normal" range, and they aren't culturally conditioned to be prudish ice queens.

3 upvotesThePricesRight1 year ago

I think the idea is that the desire for attention / emotional conquest comes prior to the desire for sex. For women sex is simply a tool to fulfill emotional needs.

1 upvotesKissTheBridesmaid1 year ago

Women do seem to have a larger appetite for sex, but I think the point is that emotional conquest, not sex would be the primary reason for staying. Her not having achieved this would be a condition for her to even want to fuck you. A woman doesn't get tingles for a man she has completely emotionally concquered.

2 upvotesmonsieurhire21 year ago

Yes, I agree about that. Nobody wants a whipped dog. But I think the whole "conquest" paradigm is problematic also. I don't want a whipped dog either. I want someone who shares my goals and values who is capable of a bit of self-management, but in these degraded times, that is not easily found.

3 upvotesEmzedef1 year ago

Great post but how will you know if she believes she has obtained Emotional Conquest over you? My story here is I was interstate and after receiving a lot of interest from a woman (HB10), I wanted a field test. I'll admit I may have played my initial response lazy, but still felt I maintained frame through texts/shit tests and the call we had (i'm very experienced/confident talking to women on the phone). I did end up chasing her (which I know is wrong) but felt was justified to exemplify two points to her, I'm a man who knows what he wants and that I could emotionally stay strong against her challenges/'hard to get' shit tests. I don't feel that I lost frame even now that I'm back home but since I didn't get her in bed she may have experienced it differently?

Either way she got no pathetic emotional reaction out of me and in turn is now of course enduring the silent treatment indefinitely yet continues to be the first person to watch any of my social media stories. It was a true HB10 learning experience for me but I'd love to improve even more for next encounter.

3 upvotesMrCongeniality1 [OP]1 year ago

Strong, secure men aren't afraid of their feminine side.

Strong, secure men aren't afraid of mopping floors and doing dishes.

Strong, secure men aren't afraid a letting a woman lead.

Strong, secure men aren't afraid of staying home while the woman pursues her career.

Do you see a pattern?

Men have been conned into acting against their basic natures and primary interests as "an act of strength."

When you "chase" a woman, all you are doing is communicating a lack of SMV. She got your attention and investment for nothing. Now what kind of stud of a man could she get if she applied some game?

Men ruin their own game by not understanding the value of their time, attention, and validation. When you are spending time with a woman, you are giving her the opportunity to seduce you.

Men aren't supposed to chase women. Men are supposed to live powerful, badass lives and women are supposed to see this and put themselves in your orbit for the taking.

1 upvotesEmzedef10 months ago

Sorry for the late response this is a throw away. Thank you for your advice

4 upvotesNiceTryDisaster1 year ago

Saved. This is a new perspective and sounds a level higher to our hypergamy theory. I would love to see healthy arguments for and against this concept

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

A lovely article. Reading this reminds me why I'm here.

You will understand why it is up to you to end relationships.

I feel strongly about this line. Daring to end both short and longterm relationships (not just ghosting out), I feel this is one of those true acts to unchain yourself.

4 upvotesjalapenotrp1 year ago

By pure chance I discovered the red pill a few months ago, and I've been reading all about it ever since.

I've been thinking about the hypergamy theory lately, and besides the almost self evident truth that women always want to marry up, there were some real world experiences that didn't quite fit well in the theory for me.

Before reading this post, I was leaning to the idea that women subconscious objective is to "make you fall in love" once they achieve that, they will lose interest in you.. and like the OP said, some women will do that even when your SMV is not that great.

Overall, I think the Red Pill is a good framework for understanding women and relationships in general. I don't agree with many things that get posted here as some of it is full of misogyny and hatred towards people, but so far I'm happy with my new discovery, keep the good posts coming.

1 upvotesjon_pat1 year ago

it is full of misogyny and hatred towards people,

save your post in a folder "what I thought in 2018" and read it again in 3 years


4 upvotesFraita1 year ago

Shit, this really hit me. Started dating a girl like 2 months ago, we met 4 times and i fell so fucking hard. I've been reading/study TRP for almost 10 years. Know the ground rule is not to let in, but fuck, shit happens.

I KNEW that i wrote to much on Facebook to her, I KNEW that i pushed to much to meet her (Rear of the year ;) ) , I know how much I failed. But the blue pill Fraita had a super strong urgent to write, see if she was online e.t.c. Every time my phone went of, my first reaction was to see if it was from L.

And I wonder "why" she went home with one of my buddies right infront of me without saying a single word like "hi". Haha shit, just to jump the horse again and let the monk mode do the shit.
It feels like I also needed this defeat, been going to well for me the last year. I really get super motivated to improve every aspect of my life just to show a long and a hard fucking finger to the girl that crushed me.

3 upvotesSKRedPill1 year ago

Female ego is a strange thing. So long as you are strong and around, it is attracted to you. Then in the name of inclusiveness and enthusiasm, it slowly consumes one aspect of your life after another until nothing of you is left.

3 upvotes_Tactleneck_1 year ago

Very good. Fleshes out some key things and ties them together after a few years in this sub. Plenty of misconceptions can be cleared up for young RPers, too - such as not trying to be mysterious but really you’re just avoiding emotional conquest.

Comparing her losing interest once she has met her goal to a guy losing interest once he fucks a new chick paints a clear picture and would be important to learn early here.

Sticky this.

3 upvotesstandardmissile1 year ago

Women are masters of the art of mission creep. sex appointments one day, then catching up for a coffee first, then hey I have a spare ticket to a show, then why don't we get dinner, then suggesting times to catch up outside their usual slots. Then you accidently-on-purpose meet their friends then they want to know what you are...

Each perfectly reasonably on it's own, and how mean and petty of you to resist at any point. Next thing you know you're frame and independence is dead by a thousand little cuts.

None of this is intrinsically bad especially if you like her (losing frame is bad) but you must be aware of what's happening.

3 upvotesRedHoodhandles1 year ago

You will understand that plates break when they think they have stopped making progress toward further emotional investment and you will more intelligently pace your investment.

Holy shit. Mind. Blown. This is a plate spinning game changer for spinning plates longer/ad infinitum if one is inclined to do so.

Thank you.

3 upvotesIAMB4TMAN1 year ago

We're in a constant war gentlemen. At home with the gf/wife, at work with colleagues & superiors, with friends maintaining frame & establishing your place in the social order.

3 upvotesRedPillCoach1 year ago

You won't ever let a woman think you will be hurt by her leaving because you understand that is their whole endgame.

That conclusion is like a punch in the gut. This is exactly how wives gain control over their husbands almost always. Men are not taught this is their endgame and women have never stopped making it their endgame. With every interaction she weaves her web. Luckily after 20 years I discovered The Red Pill and learned that thick web was gossamer- and also highly flammable.

2 upvotesManagicall1 year ago

share a high quality man than have a low quality man

I agree with OP this level of aforementioned dick measuring is gay as fuck.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Number 9. Wow! Dealing with that now and it is spot on.

upvotes50 years ago

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1 upvotesNew_Guard1 year ago

I've wondered about this. I have no clear solution yet, but I'm drawn to the idea of simply finding a woman who wants a baby, and selecting her in a contractual way based on shared values and parenting approaches. Never be romantic with her at all, just become parenting business partners with a shared vision. There are businesses that offer this service. It jumps you straight to the "divorced but with good functional relationship with the ex" phase, and you never have to stop crushing new sexy bitches, nor do you ever depend on the baby momma for anything but being a good parent and role model.

2 upvotesChrimsonChin9881 year ago

Brilliantly put into words what I’ve been thinking for a while. I agree a woman will pretty much never leave you as long as you don’t care whether she stays or goes.

Don’t fall in love. I always tell my girl I love her but I’m not in love with her.

There is a difference.

2 upvotesParthanax11 year ago

Wow, this is one hell of a post man. Very insightful and brings a lot of context to the TRP principles.

2 upvotesZech4riah1 year ago

Great post. At last some throughoutly new insight which fills the holes in TRP-theory perfectly which I've had in my mind.

The term "temporarily accept" is important to know and understand. Additionally I'd say that the more egalitarian the country is, the shorter this temporary period is.

It has been said that a woman would rather share a high quality man than have a low quality man all to herself. This is not a statement born of lengthy life experience. In real life, a woman may temporarily accept your divided attention but she will gradually use every tool she can to claw her way to being your one and only.

Great point as well. This is why it is so important to give enough attention but not too much. TRP tough guys who cheer in the name of maximum indifference or outcome independence don't understand this aspect:

You will understand that plates break when they think they have stopped making progress toward further emotional investment and you will more intelligently pace your investment.

2 upvoteslux_71 year ago

Hypergamy has long been overblown.


It's ever-present, absolutely, but not nearly to the degree bandied in TRP. All women, given the choice of comparable quality and resources, would much rather have their own man if they can choose. And in most western societies, they can choose.


"better the 10th wife of a king than the wife of a peasant" is true, but it's true in destitute societies. It loses much of its value in a world where a Golf does the exact same things as a BMW and almost all men can afford a Golf.

More details on why men should stop stressing about hypergamy

2 upvotesEvolvingSomewhere1 year ago

Very interesting stuff. First Novel I’ve read on Reddit, definitely worth it.

1 upvotesbabayega1 year ago

Great article that helps connect some of the dots. Is this more applicable for LTRs or long term plates?

For women, the anxiety occurs after sexual intimacy.

How do you apply this for new plates before you hooked up? I find if I don't show her any attention (I'm actually really busy getting my shit together) than she drops off before we even hook up. Trying to learn how to calibrate that push-pull balance.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

I've personally seen my ex going through this until today. she wanted to reconnect with me until the dude she was fond of started to reciprocate her for the oblivious idea of easy to get sex. Whatever right? i guess i'll have Christmas dinner with a hooker

1 upvotesPooddit1 year ago

Doesn't man need attention?

23 upvotespostreformedpua1 year ago

He does if he thinks like a bitch. There is a lot of those around.

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Such as what? Think about the average man versus woman. Lots more loner male autists than women, so it is safe to say men require much less attention than women.

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