Hello, this is just me venting off about my single mother.

When I was little, my father was a huge part of my life however in a negative say, he'd use violence and shout at us, it wasn't uncommon to have the day end with my father slamming the door and went to visit his other wife and children and with my mom crying and phoning and venting off to her relatives in India. (My dad is married Islamically, as the UK Law doesn't recognise polygamous marriage).

For all these years, I saw my dad in a negative light- and I still do. But I thought my mother was an angel, a hero for bringing me up the way she did.

But, now that I have some of my own perspective, I can see how controlling and manipulative she is. Was she always like this? Well, she claims that before she had met my father and before I became a man (aka someone who's not a puppet anymore. Yeah, she's one of those "all men are bastards" women)

Everyday is a Cold War, tensions would rise up and she's a helicopter parent. She has went as far as to tell me that, when I has asked her as a joke that would she sit next to me in class if the school allowed her? She said yes and she was serious.

In a way, I regret showing affection to her at a young age, the hugs, kisses, the care. Because that's all being used against me on a daily basis "oh back when you were a good little boy, you'd hug your mother in front of the whole school! Now you're a man, oh have some shame even your father respected his mother!"

Once, I said at the age of like 7 "oh mom, when I get a job I'll make sure to bring you with me to the workplace, I promise" and, yeah she still remembers it and actually believes that I have to follow a promise that I made when I was young and ignorant.

I wasn't allowed to walk to school alone until I was in Year 9 (Grade 8 for US) I feel that maybe she lost the will to be controlling. The only places I'm allowed to go is the local Tesco and local library.

I remember, when I started growing a beard, now she to this day still trims my beard and claims all this judo magic like "oh if a razor touches your skin, more thicker hair will grow" alright cool mom, but that what you are holding is a trimmer but no, apparently I don't have the write to trim my own beard. Thanks fucking goodness she allows me to shave my own balls.

Now, I should mention this also, I NEVER went to a barber, she cuts my own hair. St first, I had believed "oh they use razors and razors are bad! And they don't care about you, they'll cut your ear off in a hurry!" But now I realise, after looking at other aspects, that she's attempting to destory my confidence at life. She wants me to rely on her so I'll be 25 and be like "oh hey mom, can- can you cut my hair please? It's a bit growing."

Another thing, you know how I said SHE has to be the one trimming my beard- and this cannot be a coincidence- at first she would trim my beard on a Friday, so that by Monday I'll go to school with a bit of a stubble, at first I hated it because I found myself looking cuter and more innocent without a beard (I guess it made sense at the time since my hair was all over the place) so I asked her "mom please trim my beard on Sunday?", you know what she said "no son, then you'll look gay."

But now? Now I like my beard, I like having a bit of a stubble. So now what happens? Now she trims it on a Sunday. Like woow she's trying her best to kill my confidence. Whatever I want, she wants the opposite.

On Monday, she cutted all my head hair and trimmed my beard so on Tuesday (back to school, Monday was Easter holiday), I came in looking like Noddy. It was okay, I have confidence but I did find it annoying.

I have no social life, any attempts to join the hangouts, she'll go "oh? You don't have time to hang out with your mother but with friends? No no well done, I see how it is. Your friends are more important than your mother. Fine, go, go!"

I first realised how manipulative she is in July 2016, when the attempted Turkish Coup occurred. I read how Erodgen may have led the coup as a false flag to gain more power, as I read this my mom came through the door causing a fight about something I didn't do or by the very least, didn't deserve the intensity of the punishment.

I remember I looked back at the article and read how it may be a false flag, at that point that what my mom just did could be a false flag.

Anyway, today we had a conversation about some misunderstanding (which ALWAYS evolves to a fight) I thought today, especially after reading The Charisma Myth and How to Win friends and influence people, that maybe I should calm down and stop being an angry moody teenager and listen.

Nope, TRP is right, all women are children.

As I said "yes, yeah, sure, alright, I see" after realising that I haven't actually gave her a reason to make a scene, she then made one herself "ohh I don't understand you, God I'm tired of speaking to you I can NEVER talk to you comfortably you always give me stress, I have to always talk fast with you in case you do something typical like start to ignore (which I did, due to how much she repeats stuff and stretches the matter) or reply rudely (what she means is, signalling her to please get to the point, stop repeating useless junk,basically allow her to bitch)" and here I am with a straight face going "oh, I'm sorry to hear" while inside Im laughing my ass off cause she's talking about how I might get angry of her talk yet here she is basically begging me to defend myself (aka attack her because these two cannot be independent). If anything, I didn't give her stress at all. I listened to her 100% this time.

She always complains of the littlest things, like how the neighbours kid makes so much noise, okay once it was alright, twice? Okay I'll give a pass, third? Forth? Per day she will complain of one incident like that about 7 times a day! And that's just Accounting for one incident. She's basically a complaint bank giving me free complaints. I NEVER complain in real life, to me it's useless and weak. Like, I get a sore headache when someone close to me complains multiple times because then I'm thinking "oh God why am I associated with this weak person" and I don't need to hear about your negativity, mom.

Perhaps the most defining moment is that my GCSE starts on 15th of May, but I believe that she doesn't want me to get As and A*s but instead Cs so that I have less opportunities in life. So I lied to her and said that my GCSE will start on the 25th of May so that'll give her less time and pressure to prepare for an attack.

My idea is to either move out when I'm 18 or be in a powerful position so that she realises that by her acting like a bitch she has more to lose than me so she better behaves appropriately.

I already have a small source of income, from YouTube however unfortunately she knows about that. I'll make a new channel about right-wing Politics and TheRedPill and look for YouTube partners that offer payment in Bitcoin.

I have a lot of work to do. But I want to thank you, TRP, for you are the best teacher and father I ever had. Every time I fall into a episode of depression I come here and man up. Really, thank you.

Anyway, thanks for reading.