So I’ve been lurking here for 1 year. In the last month I realised I wasn’t taking action, so I stopped reading trp and self improvement stuff cause that was just detrimental and mental masturbation.

I’ve been lifting for 4 years now. People often tell me I’m good looking, and women look at me really often. I definitely increased my SMV and I would tell I’m above average for sure. I have broad shoulders, a big jaw, high cheekbones, deep voice and all those features that make a man attractive (except for height but still) yet I miss the fucking basics. This makes me hate myself.

It seems like I’m missing the basics of TRP. I get lot of ioi’s and yet I don’t approach. Can’t really tell what’s the reason, but I guess my mind has not adapted to my SMV yet, as I’ve been a nerd for 14 years of my life (I’m 18 now), and I still subconsciously think I’m not enough (“self improvement is masturbation” is real), and so I end up in this cycle which leads to depression. (e.g I go to the club, I see girls looking at me everywhere (and getting close to me), yet I hesitate. I go back home with regrets and hating myself for not acting).

The next day I feel insecure because I hesitated.

Now, I’m trying to learn from my mistakes, yet I’ve been repeating this mistake for so long.

The fun fact is that I’m not scared to fight a guy (or confront him), but I’m “scared” to open/approach a girl. My sex drive is really high, so I doubt my test is low. I guess this “fear” has to do with something else. Can anyone tell me what to do and wake me up? Has anyone been in this situation?

Edit: actually in the past I approached girls but as I got rejected and I wrongly let it affect my self esteem. So that also might be the reason of my hesitation. Ego?