Summary: Made hot friend insecure by hitting on ugly friend, played them against each other, fucked hotter girl.

Went to club alone last weekend. Spotted a tall brunette in a cutout dress and 4 inch heels, positively joined at the hip with a short chubby trailer trash blonde. You know, the kind with fat arms and a bit of a double chin and a streak of black color in her blonde hair. I sat at the bar and watched them for a couple minutes, they danced together and went to the bathroom together, and the short fatty pulled her hot friend away from any guy that tried to dance with her under the guise of "rescuing" her from "creepy" dudes.

When I saw the short one grab the hot one's hand and lead her to the bar (to find free beta drinks), I walked straight up to the pair, and said,

"Excuse me, but I had to know- what's your name?"

To the chubby chick.

"Amanda" She hollered over the music with a grin. The hottie seemed taken aback, this was the first time all night she'd been ignored in favor of her uglier friend.

I pushed it hard. I stood with my back to the hot girl, fully engaged in the fatty, I touched her hair and said "Didn't realize skunks could dance so well." And winked at her. I flashed a winning smile. In the reflection of a mirror on the wall I kept an eye on the hottie, who seemed like a very nice girl who was happy for her ugly friend, but slightly confused. She turned to the fatty and said "I'll go get us a drink." And I let her walk away.

I spent 30 minutes with this chubster, pretending to be fascinated by her inane bullshit. Meanwhile the brunette stood idly by the bar waiting for a chump to hit on her. I got lucky- nobody took the bait. Maybe people thought she was with a guy or something. Nobody talked to her for a good 10 minutes while she played with her phone. Her deflated ego might have had something to do with it.

I saw hottie make a break for the bathroom again, likely to apply more lipstick or to stuff her bra to get some attention. I excused myself. I turned the corner into the bathroom hallway, and hottie and I made eye contact. She blushed, and I gave her a blank stare.

When we emerged from the bathroom, but before rounding the corner into Amanda's eyesight, I stopped the hot girl.

"I'm sorry, what was your name again?" I acted like she was a toddler whose feelings I had potentially injured.

"Emily."

"Is your friend Amanda always like that?"

"Like what?"

I shrugged and leaned in close to make my confession. "She's kinda awkward, I don't want to be rude but I just wanted to make sure she was okay, you know...." I sighed and stared into the distance, gunning for the Academy Award. "I mean, she's cute but she won't stop talking about her nursing major. Are you a nurse too?" I accused her.

She lit up at the opportunity to prove herself. "Yeah we're both at ____ college."

I fake rolled my eyes at her. "Oh great, another one. Amanda hasn't stopped talking about it."

Emily looked at me, hamster spinning. "Really?"

"Yeah it's kinda cute but I'm over it." I half turned to reenter the club, and turned back. "You seem cool though. How are you guys friends?"

A short conversation later, someone emerging from the bathroom tripped over her. "This club is too crowded. Let's go somewhere a little more mature okay? Just you and I though." I crossed my arms, unwilling to validate her for anything less than total compliance.

She thought about it, smiled a little and said "Okay, but I have to tell Amanda first".

I followed her to the bar, closed out my tab, and stood next to Emily, playing with my phone, while Emily told Amanda that she was leaving and that she could call an uber (Amanda drove). Fat Amanda looked at hot Emily confused.

"Where are you going?"

I stepped in. "We are going somewhere else to chat. But it was SUPER nice to meet you Amanda." I gave Amanda a huge fake smile and a big hug. "Get home safe okay?'

Amanda teared up. The poor fatass had worked so hard all night to prevent this exact occurrence.

As we walked across the street I gave Emily a pointed look. Emily quickly excused Amanda's clinginess, and confessed that Amanda was a virgin. I took my cue. "Oh, then she and I wouldn't have gotten along anyway." I winked at Emily. She blushed and smiled.

Fast forward to me fucking her in my apartment and sending her home that same night. "Is Amanda gonna be okay alone?" "You know what I should probably go make sure she's alright."

A number of things worked in my favor. Club environment was too loud, too crowded, too diverse (not all from one school etc). I got lucky nobody snatched up Emily while I was hatching my plan. I got lucky Amanda didn't throw a fit. But I learned that there's nothing girls love more than being told they're hotter than their girlfriends.

Lessons Learned: Make them feel like they're on the Bachelor, and the claws will come out and you will get laid.