My grandfathers decline and understanding that you're only as valuable to women as you are today.

Hi guys this is my first post to the main TRP sub so please feel free to offer me any advice just in case it isn't my last .

Summary:
I've grasped that women only value men for what they provide, embody, and represent in the moment by seeing how my siblings and family treat my ailing Grandfather.

Body: My Grandfather is one of the greatest men I have ever known. Being one of the youngest boys from a large poor rural family of 18 . He joined the church, became a youth leader, and at 21 decided to leave the poverty of his home state with his wife and 3 children and seek work in California where he knew next to no one but knew if he could find work than he could succeed.

He decided to attend mechanic school and became one of the top mechanics working on everything from big rigs to compact sedans. Grandpa's education never stopped and he continued to gather mechanic certifications and degrees in theology while constantly self educating. He ultimately had 6 children and began a church with his brother, when my great uncle stepped back Grandpa kept the church and became a staple in his community where the church stood for over 35 years under his leadership . The church anniversaries were always illuminating as droves of people would speak of how my grandfather had affected their lives through charity, guidance, consulting, what have you. I have never met such an educated , steadfast, and beloved man as my grandfather.

About 10 years ago grandpa entered his early 70's and having overcome diabetes complications was relatively healthy but his memory began to fade and general mental confusion began to show up. He often times during sermons would ramble and even the smallest departures from the subject to illustrate a point would lead to unnecessary and off-topic banter. He ultimately gave up the church , most of his extra curricular sctivities, and now has a hard time even visiting neighboring churches except for maybe once a month. For the most part he spends his days watching sports on TV and in the midst of the company of his two dogs under the superviosion and care of my grandmother. While talking to him now can be an excercise in patience due to his lack of focus and waning memory he has knowledge of so many things that I still gather a few pearls of wisdom from chatting with him every time.

As much as I adore and love my grandfather this post is more about how since swallowing the pill I now appreciate the difference between how the men and women in my family regard him at this point in time. My family is dominated by women in terms of numbers so it's not so much an isolated perspective as pretty common among them all.

Amongst the men ,honestly we don't speak of my Grandfather much . Perhaps out of respect but to be fair I think we all view him with a sense of mourning knowing who he is today versus the strong pillar we grew up viewing him as . He's not as witty ,strong , or sharp as he was but as our patriarch and leader he laid the foundation and example for all of us.

In comparison the women in my family have ultimately become harpies , you would think that they would understand and empathise with the decline of their father and grandfather more than us men but honestly all their conversations (sometimes within feet of him) are condescending, chastising, almost mocking . When the men in my family say grandpa is confused we state it as if he's been afflicted with something when the women mention it you'd almost think he just turned into an idiot one night and doesn't desire to change back.

It starts with my grandma, formerly a meek woman (when he was strong) she now nags and criticizes him daily. Be it for not remembering something, trying to do something for himself that he shouldn't, or not speaking quickly enough. My mother and aunts are no better they too almost seem to disdain the fact my grandma is "stuck" taking care of the man who supported her and them for over 55 years. Tonight it really dawned on me as my sister and cousin almost seemed to toy with grandpa challenging his knowledge on the most basic things and even bringing up an ancient insignificant tryout our family had for Family Fued and how it was deemed my grandfather got us disqualified (funny how this happened about 15 years ago and tonight was the first time ever I had heard anybody mention it in front of him) . You would think the way any woman in family refers to this occurence that he lost us tens of thousands of dollars and should be a point of shame . In his defense Grandpa gave no fucks and owned up to the moment.

My ultimate conclusion is that the different reactions imply this, as men we are thankful and remember his service and strength for our family . He may not be as witty or strong now but We know and respect what he's done so if it takes him an extra minute or two to prove his point so be it . Every single one of us is more patient than the women in my family.

By comparison the women in my family treat him like he is and always has been a silly old man . Formerly the women only talked to him to learn something, serve him, or tell him how much they love him and now they almost treat him as a joke if not an annoying poorly behaved child.

It hasn't been easy accepting the decline of our patriarch for any of us men or women but damn it if it wasn't eye opening when examining how he's been treated and regarded differently through time and accordingly by gender.

Lessons Learned Women .. I guess that goes for daughters, mothers, wives, grand daughters... I mean any person born with a vagina really only appreciate , respect, and value you as a man for who you are right now .

I think that can be both empowering in your rise and depressing in your fall . Ultimately though it reiterates all the maxims that TRP expresses but ultimately upholds the belief that we need to strive to be men of value. Life happens you may get hurt, you may get sick, you may lose a job, and for a while your value is reduced but that only means you have to work harder to regain and become even more valuable than when you depreciated.

Also as your value of yourself becomes greater so will your value from women, don't do it for women but know that women want and adore valuable men.

Grandpa always saw value in education ( both professional and purely intellectual) , in trying or exploring something new , it couldn't have been easy in a house of 6 children, a wife , with a full time job and constantly writing sermons and reading the bible to generate sermons on sunday ( not to mention bible study , taking calls from congregation members at home). The point being nothing should stop you from in some way being a better you today than you were yesterday. There will always be excuses.

Thanks for reading.