SUMMARY

Having a solid plan for change can save anyone as long as you have the discipline to stick with it.


BODY

To say that I was beta would give me too much credit. I was omega. I was so far down the pole that I was nearly non-existent. People didn't see me. I was on the path to becoming Gollum. A scrawny nerd, hidden in a cave somewhere. Things were bleak. I would fantasize about even having friends at all. Somewhere in my mid teenage years I decided I didn't like my life. Whilst sitting on the couch one day, I saw a commercial for the Navy. A bunch of badass scenes with the ending tag line "If someone wrote a book about your life, would anyone want to read it?" I didn't join the Navy but the point was made. It was time for change. The plan I settled on was simple; emulate others that had what I wanted.

First I watched those with friends. Acted like them and suddenly I had friends. Now I wanted a girlfriend, so I watched those that had girlfriends and acted the same. This strategy saved my life. For now, the plan was working and I was content. The time I spent with my first girlfriend was the first time that I thought "Something is not right..." I started noticing that when I did certain actions I would get consistent results from her. I'd come up behind her, grab her hips and press inward enough for her to feel some strength. It'd get her going every time. I even managed to accidentally discover shit tests by calling out her faked "I can't believe you just did that!" reaction to my advances one occasion. "You liked it." She laughed and reluctantly admitted that I was right. I watched this "innocent religious girl" slowly change with me. My friends around me would complain about a lack of affection and I had seemingly found the horny button on my girlfriend. My suspicions were indeed true. I had been lied to about how the world worked. "Oh well." I thought. "I have figured it all out now."

You know I was wrong.

We ended up living 5 hours apart when I got a new job for awhile. And as you likely guessed, she cheated. I only found out since she was dumb about it and did it right in front of one of my best friends. All my mind could think was "I had it all figured out.... What happened?" I was wrong and I wanted to know why I was wrong.

You see, I started spending time searching for answers and found the PUA community. "Perfect" I thought. Another chance to model others to get what I wanted. Soaked it up and applied it. I found more success. I found a lot of things to be spot on but I somethings felt unaddressed. I felt like it was still missing something. My next LTR was eye opening. During that time I started working out more, adopting more dominant behaviors. She would eat it up. I had this girl trained to basically beg me to suck on her tits or beg to suck my cock. This was when I started to have issues with the PUA community. It was too scripted. Many scripts would fail too. It was not touching on the fundamental workings of what was happening. I felt this went beyond women. Then while on a fitness subreddit thread one day, I saw it. theredpill. I don't even remember what the context was but it doesn't matter.

I was home.

I read. And read. And then kept reading. I read the the whole sidebar, every top post down into the 300 point range, recommended books, and even went through post and comment histories of my favorite RP Vanguard members. I couldn't get enough. This was exactly what I wanted to model. Up until now, I had been trying to piece together a puzzle upside down. TRP flipped the pieces and showed me the end picture. I tested the principals in my relationship and realized that it all held up. I decided that it was time for a "monk mode" phase to form a new plan and to enact faster change. I would use all that I modeled to become my own man.

I dropped my girlfriend, home, job, life, and decided to restart. It was a dead end situation so boldness was my only hope. Spent time on me and refining my discipline. What emerged was a better man. Since incorporating Stoicism, The 48 Laws, Meditation, Discipline, and countless other principals I discovered here, my life has never been better. I regularly find myself in situations that I would have even dreamed of 10 years ago. It's a life I'd enjoy reading about. The last year and a half of reading through TRP helped make sense of a lifetime of confusion and I only hope that I can help improve the group, as I continue learning.


To start, I'd like to share about discipline. I can't stress enough just how important a system of discipline is for you. Motivation is fleeting. You can try to summon it up to help you out but it does not last and sometimes can be very hard to find. Discipline is always there for you though. If you are new, start by working towards discipline. Being at the mercy of motivation is not for powerful people like you. Discipline will make everything else easier for you to incorporate.

Some Beginner Tips:

  • If you want it to get done, put it on a list. Lists are unbelievably helpful early on. I make a check list on my phone every night when my mind is still active and leave it up so it is the first thing I see when my alarm goes off. Make my bed is number one. Within 40 seconds the first item is done. I list everything. My mind is so out of it when I wake up that I can't trust myself to remember anything. Since using lists, it all gets done.
  • Take it in doses. Incorporate new activities and behaviors slowly. I'd say no more than 4 or 5 new things per month, perhaps only 3 if one of them is really big like working out for the first time. This will give your brain time to make new habits before taking on more.
  • Trick yourself. Small tasks seem less daunting. Break up tasks into smaller items to check off. Tell your brain that you are just gonna do that thing and get to the others if you have time. Once you're done, move on to the next item. Or just put down a few sets of 10 pushups and only complete as many as you have time for. Fun stuff goes at the end. Again, do it if you have time.
  • Wake up early. If you don't have enough time, you aren't waking up early enough or you need to trim the fat off your schedule. Wake up at least 3 hours before work or class. If you just keep marching through that list you will be amazed at how much gets done.
  • You're tired and grumpy, deal with it. I sometimes don't feel I got quite enough sleep. I push past the feeling and just do what the list says. The sense of accomplishment is usually enough to solve that issue in about 30 minutes.

LESSONS LEARNED

  • You can bring yourself back from the brink but you need a discipline or philosophy to keep your change on track.
  • Time is precious. Spend it efficiently. A strict system may be just what you need to implement faster change. Avoid things that will pull you back to old habits.