Stand Tall Making Eye Contact

Tl;Dr:

Chest out, shoulders back. Head up, making eye contact with anything ahead.

Body:

You ever come home to a garbage can tipped over, the bag tore open and trash covering the floor. Then there's the dog. Sitting in the corner. Pouting, looking at the ground, not just avoiding eye contact but avoiding your image all together. Are you a bad dog? Did you do something wrong? Then why are you always looking at the ground and why can you never maintain eye contact?

Do you check out women?

Yes I'm checking women out. Checking out the men to but not so sexually. If you see a pretty little thing dressed like a tramp you're going to take a look. When she catches you looking at her body, do not look away in shame like you just got caught doing something disrespectful. Embrace her eye contact, let her know you see her.

When anyone enters your view of sight it's instinctive to observe the new creatue. Lesser Animals do it. It's an evolutionarily survival trait to be observant of your surroundings. Don't feel shameful when checking out women. It's in human DNA. What culture has hyperinflated into an exaggerated attempt to shame men for what comes natural, are a few instances of overly creepy men staring, following them around the venue, either physically or with their eyes the entire night. Even still if you read romance novels, which I recommend you not, I could feel his eyes following me the entire night of the event, it made me burn hot knowing he was watching my every move. Goes to show you; they want it, just not from losers.

Check her out. If she catches you, own up to it. Acknowledge what you are doing. If you're really that interest, nows the time to approach. Otherwise leave her be but don't run from her eye contact. Worst she's going to do is give you a look of disgust, tap her friend on the shoulder and point. I've even had ghetto bitche yell What the fuck you starrin at, whitey? We all laughed about it.

Eye contact is a lot more important than women. Like I said I'm checking out the men in my surroundings too. I'm taking a good look, drinking in their persona with my eyes. If they catch me, there's been less than a dozen instances in fifteen plus years were it didn't end with a smile. That's it. The vast majority of the time, a head nod and a smile is it. Sometimes there is a verbal hello, old timers love to stop you for a chat. If you become a regular at the same locations, a little eye conact and a smile can open the door for conversation.

Eye contact goes further with repeat encounters than strangers but that's a good place to start. Eye contact is a huge part of good communication. It helps form trust, looking into someone's eyes while talking. Feeling intimated by it at first? Stare at their nose or eyebrows to help. Leaning into the discomfort will build a tolerance, eventually making the behavior normal. Trust me it's a lot harder to make too much eye contact than not enough.

Now there are a good number of people who avoid my eye contact. There's others reasons than this but the vast majority of men I see in public look defeated. Shoulders slouched. Head hanging low. If they're not avoiding my eye contact, they never had a chance to make it. They're staring at the ground in front of their feet for their entire lives. Walking around oblivious to their surrounding.

Imagine that's your first impression, the look of defeat. It's a heck of a lot easier to maintain eye contact when your heads already lifted. Stand up straight, looking ahead. Bring your chest up, shoulders over your hips, over your ankles when you walk. That's where you start. Past that is an individual personalized remedy to actually straight your spine and fix your pelvic tilt. I'm not a doctor but we can all start here. Posture check yourself throughout the day.

Either when you're sitting or standing, check yourself through out the day to see if you're slouching or hunced over. Straighten up, bringing your chest up and shoulders back. Sitting or standing tall, erecting the spine. Hold it for as long as you can. I'm not kidding when I say some of you will have a sore core, shoulders, lower or upper backs. You might have to actively engage your core. After time and time again of posture checking yourself you'll see you're standing/sitting straight more and more often.

Good posture makes a world of difference with how you're received by everyone. That's why it's Jordan Peterson first rule in his book: Twelve Rules for Life. Stand up straight with your shoulders back. That's not an edorsment to go read his book, though I'm sure it's great, I've never read it. You don't need to be a professor of psychology to realize this. Be observant.

Having doubts? Go to any large venue and scope out the public. See how poor the populations posture is. See how grossly out of shape most people are. Watch them avoid eye contact and each other, some literally scared of interactions with strangers. Decide, do you really want to walk around looking like that? You'll notice a few men though, walking around tall, proud, sure of themselves. Gazing around, happly waiting to greet you. Much like my dog, owning his behaviors, confidently exclaiming, yes I knocked down that garbage can, wanna see me do it again. You do the same.

In Conclusion:

Eye contact is king, it's easier to maintain if you're already standing up straight. Standing up straight, having good posture makes you appear more confident to the world. Start posture checking yourself regularly to get in the habbit of maintaining good posture whether sitting or standing. If you're nervous about eye contract, look at their nose or eyebrows. They won't be able tell. If you get caught checking out a woman (or anybody for that matter) give them a nod, do something to own up to your actions. Don't dart your eyes away like scared puppy.