“Trap”


“Trapping" someone (cuffing someone, locking someone down,etc.) is using things like pregnancy, suicide, dating, marriage, love, guilt, etc. to limit or hinder a partner's ability to leave, see other people, act freely with consequence, etc.

But all circumstances of trapping girls/guys always boils down to one thing: they're all an attempt to establish power where there is none.

Relationships are nothing more than a balance of power (or frames, as RPers would say) and the power in any relationship is ultimately held by whoever cares the least. Trapping is all about interrupting this balance by forcing the disinterested to care i.e. by removing as many alternative paths as possible. Me or no one.

Example 1: Moving in together.

Moving in together in order to quote “become closer as a couple” puts power in the girl's hands by giving her control over how quickly and feasibly he could leave her (lease, shared rent, etc.), giving her access to his personal male space and by giving her access to his life and stuff while he's asleep, at work or away, like a loosened noose swaying ominously around his neck.

Before she had no power over him. He had no direct ties to her. He'd suffered no losses from walking away. If she'dve done some fucked up shit to him all he'd have to do is delete her number and carry on. But with this he'd be tied to a 10-month lease and limited finances to put towards a sudden move/break of the lease. Not to mention the possibility of common law alimony. She has power now.

Example 2: "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" titles.

A girl who pushes vehemently to label a relationship is a girl who's trying to give a man a weak spot to exploit. Without labels he can fuck whoever whenever. So she tries to label him in an attempt to keep him for herself. To establish control over her feel good stimuli. But with that label come the socially-decided restrictions and consequences for a boyfriend plus any other restrictions she chooses to drum up. Tomorrow she could decide looking at other women is cheating while holding sex hostage and with cheating considered "wrong" he is left with no other agreeable path to sex other than to obey. She has power now.

All in all,this is how the long-term Game is played: When the dust settles, who's really got the power? Whose trapped who? Who needs who more? Am I really in control here?

It's not about discovering whether or not she has an ulterior motive. It's about discovering what her ulterior motive is.

My Advice:

Plan and prepare for any possible scenario. Don't move in without a plan and money set aside for moving out. Get a vesactamy or use condoms. Don't date or at the very least be upfront about other chicks from the jump. In short, never put yourself in a situation you're not prepared for.

Life's a pop quiz. Study everything, question everyone and stay prepared at all times. You never know.

-Om