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Four ways to be an AWESOME husband!

Hello, there. I'm a friend who wishes to remain anonymous. I’m remaining anonymous because some of these tips, though effective, are very politically incorrect. For the same reason, please don't share these tips with anyone else.

1. Be her man.

Women will never admit this, but they’re nowhere near as good as most men at fixing things around the house. You will need to do this for her, while not reminding her of her weakness in this area.

Here’s a hilarious video that illustrates this point nicely. (Please ignore the misogynistic language; only anti-feminists seem to make videos like this.)

http://bit.ly/SurvivorUKMenVsWomen

Men are also generally more capable than women at managing the household investments; so you’ll need to take charge of those, while making her feel like an equal partner. Again to drive home this point for you, here’s a misogynistic article that illustrates how female CEOs perform versus their male counterparts: http://bit.ly/PerformanceOfWomenCEOs

2. Don’t cheat on her.

Staying faithful is relatively easy in the United States, but far more difficult abroad. As you become successful, you’ll probably travel abroad for business or pleasure, where sex is cheap and plentiful, and Americans are treated like rock stars. Below are some countries where you’ll need to be especially careful not to cheat.

German-speaking countries – Prostitution is legal in the German-speaking countries of Germany, Austria, and Switzerland. In these countries, businessmen sometimes conduct business in “FKKs,” or sauna clubs. These clubs are lavish spaces, with unique décor and all-day buffets. There are large numbers of very young, very attractive women in these clubs, completely naked except for high heels. You can have sex with any of them for $50, and cum in her mouth (ick!) for another $50. Here's a NSFW pic of the women at an FKK: http://bit.ly/FKKGirls

If a German business associate invites you to an FKK to talk business, just tell him you’re married, and suggest an alternate venue.

The Philippines – In the Philippines, Americans can hit on virtually any woman successfully. White men are treated like rock stars; high school girls giggle and take selfies with them and, outside the major cities, they’re mobbed on the streets.

You’ll need all your willpower not to cheat. If your friends do succumb, remind them to wear a condom; the local women dream of having an American baby, even if the father doesn’t stick around.

(If you want to encourage your single friends to have the maximum amount of fun, suggest Cialis, which is cheaply available at any pharmacy, even without a prescription in poorer countries. They’ll need to experiment with the dosage, but it’s quite a wonder drug when juggling multiple girlfriends. Also, they’ll find that they don’t need to lie about having multiple girlfriends; telling the truth about this just makes women compete with each other!)

Paid sex is also cheap and plentiful in the Philippines, which brings me to… Thailand, Ukraine, Poland, Colombia, The Dominican Republic, etc. People in these countries are too familiar with Americans to treat them like rock stars. But they’ll gladly sleep with them, both romantically and for pay. Be very, very careful not to cheat in these countries; think of your wife waiting for you back home.

(I do strongly recommend vacationing with your wife in Thailand. It is paradise on earth. All the conveniences of home - and much, much more! - without any of the drawbacks.)

If you somehow end up marrying a foreign woman, these tips will work equally well on her.

3. Don’t debate her.

It’s futile, because she has two weapons/flaws you do not.

a. She does not respond to facts and logic, only feelings. Yes, even the smartest women you know. For example, here are some of the smartest women in one of the smartest nations on earth, Israel: http://bit.ly/IsraeliArmyWomen

b. She can fib far better than you. Because women are the physically weaker sex, they have many non-violent tools to defend themselves. For example, they’re far better at fibbing. They fib so often, and so effectively, that they may actually believe many of their fibs.

Here, for instance, is a woman successfully defending herself against a much stronger man: http://bit.ly/HairSalonVideo

Did you notice how she said, “I have a law degree”? If she’d actually practiced law a day in her life, she’d have said, “I’m a lawyer.” But, even though she isn’t actually a lawyer, she still uses her law degree (probably from a not-very-prestigious school) to defend herself against a stronger man.

And here’s an even braver woman, using similar strategies: http://bit.ly/WomanVsGuard

4. If she loves you, she’ll sign a prenup

Half of all marriages end in divorce. This is not within your control; 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women.

You’re probably worried about how to bring up a prenup with your beloved. So Here’s how to do it:

Ask her if she loves you. She’ll say yes, and/or she’ll ask why.

Tell her you love her very much, and would like the two of you to sign a prenup. She’ll ask why you don’t love her.

Reiterate that you love her very much, and say you want to explain. Give her the reasons for a prenup below, in order. Patiently hear her response to each reason before moving on to the next reason.

a. You know who recommends prenups? Personal finance guru Suze Orman: http://bit.ly/PrenupYup

b. You already have a prenup, which is your state’s divorce laws. Instead of going along unthinkingly with those, you and your strong, independent mate should consciously think through, and sign, a prenup that is fair to both parties in the marriage.

c. Again, you know who recommends prenups? Personal finance guru Suze Orman: http://bit.ly/PrenupYup

Your love will probably get agitated and walk out during or after this discussion. Let her. She’ll need some time to consider what to do. She may enlist friends and relatives to badger you; give them the same reasons you gave her, with the same responses to questions about your love. Stay reasonable; don’t get agitated. You want to let your smart lady consider whether she wants to do the smart thing.

If, after a short time, your angel blindly refuses to sign a prenup, then please do me a favor, and ask yourself whether you’re the man in this award-winning European short film: http://bit.ly/HarpyaFilm

A Final word

Please don’t share this with others. It is meant for you.

I hope you always enjoy good luck and good times, my friend. For your intelligence, creativity, hard work, integrity, and selflessness, you more than deserve it!