Loneliness - What is it really?

thewrightstuff88 · 2016-08-17T14:19:13+00:00

In conjunction with "killing the beta," a certain sense of self awareness is required. Mastery over oneself. If you don't realize what you are thinking/feeling, you can get carried away in your emotions and start wondering things like "why isn't she texting me back" and "what did I do wrong?"

You have to realize that she's not yours, it's only you're turn.

Also, from an awesome quote I saw posted earlier on this sub (something like this): "Love is the feeling you get when you don't think you can do any better."

Believe that you can do better so you remain emotionally unattached to a degree, which will keep you in check, along with the self awareness.

Emotions are fleeting, one moment you can be sad, the next, happy. Understand your body and its reactions and work through the emotions instead of being caught in them and think and act with a clear head.

Only then can you keep the beta in check. You may never get to completely "kill the beta" but you can at least have better odds to not go down the dark spiral again.

lord-denning · 2016-08-17T17:25:13+00:00

Being a man isn't bad... really... it's true freedom of spirit.

I feel lonely a lot.

I travel ~6 months out of the year for work, oftentimes internationally. When I’m somewhere cool, I’ll take few days to go hiking or explore the area by myself. When I’m working, its 12 hours a day, a few weeks at a time. Wake up, lift, eat, work, sleep. Day in, day out. Its easy to go down the tunnel of loneliness and feel sorry for myself.

Most often when I’m lonely, I long for the comradery I had when I was in the military. I think about how much I miss the structure, and how if I did what I was told, I would be praised and would make rank. Having a strong structure to follow was easy and comforting.

I often forget my current goals, and things I’m working towards. I forget how many stories I have, the adventures I’ve been on, and the women I’ve been with. I look at facebook, and see highlight reels; wishing I had the nice house, the hot girlfriend, the loyal dog, and gone to college. I wish for the stable life.

In these moments, I have to remind myself—They boy must die for the man to live. I have to stay focused and stay the course. I must stay focused in order to achieve the success I want.

HappyMexican · 2016-08-17T22:25:52+00:00

I have had this issue in the last 2 weeks too. Summer time winding down, vacations and family time over. Got back to my single man apartment, and had to spend month without talking to anyone face to face. I work from home a lot (not a bad job though, gives me free time), so there were days where I saw not a single face.

Really started to get to me, I was weight lifting and dieting, doing my hobbies, and taking care of business, but being alone for weeks on end starts to knaw at you. It became almost unbearable one night and I almost went to the nearest strip club.

I took a deep breath (maaaaybe smoked some good stuff a bit too!), and told myself this is how life is 90% work and 10% fun, any more then that and you are slacking of too much or killing your future. Then really forced myself to do something, anything productive. It turned out to be something small, just cleaning my kitchen.

I read another post on here that said to keep yourself busy with things, even if you have to force yourself. Keeps you out of your head. I find this to be very true. Action is the most valuable thing in the world, not ideas. Keep action towards your goals and stay out of your head. Its the productive IDGAF conclusion. My day should be 90% action, 10% thought. Feeling lonely means you are giving thought too much screen time, and need to just go do something productive or even fun.

I guess it was my own weird way of getting to IDGAF attitude, but I ended up at the same place as this post suggests. Don't look for dependency to solve pain but become truly independent, and that requries lots of boring, grinding action. The hard road.

prodigy2throw · 2016-08-17T16:46:43+00:00

The fear of loneliness will slowly kill you. Weak men end up making horrible life choices simply because a girl is giving them attention.

I see so many guys around me slaves to the fear of loneliness. I know men who will literally pick up and drop off their girl at the drop of a hat, any time, anywhere. Guys will skip work, drop out of college, just to be able to spend time with a girl who's giving him some attention. Not to mention the credit card debt, the compulsive lying to friends and stunted personal development. And at the end of the day some of these guys don't even have sex with the girl. Shits sad bro.

LilB2fast4u · 2016-08-17T14:36:48+00:00

How comfortable someone is with being alone is not just a goal to be attained. Introverts are generally happier spending more time alone, or having few friends. Extroverts thrive on being sociable and surrounded by other people. I do not think it is beta to be sociable and enjoy human contact. They punish prisoners in maximum security jails by forcing them to be alone. Humans are sociable animals, we like the company of others. Loneliness is not the nostalgia for childhood, it is a natural human desire to have a social network. Let's not conflate loneliness, which is completely normal and universal with being needy. There is nothing admirable in wanting to be a hermit, in fact it is quite weird and it is not a worthy goal.

MeiFriend · 2016-08-17T15:32:42+00:00

"Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." -C.S. Lewis

One of my favorite quotes from Lewis. It's important that people do not confuse killing the beta with becoming a hollow, shell of a man. Sometimes to protect from loneliness we try to kill any and all emotions. There are inherent (alpha) traits we have as children that are conditioned out of us by society or whatever and it's labeled "being a man"

[deleted] · 2016-08-18T04:57:30+00:00

I just straight up do not like anything about this post. I do not like the staccato writing style, I loathe the "kill the beta" mantra, and I think the whole attitude reeks of "red pill as a cult" rather than red pill as a toolkit. TRP is a collection of disparate writings. It also includes MGTOW, which is the oppostie of what most young guys are here to achieve. Trying to turn TRP into a new cultish language might appeal to some (obviously it does), but I see it as destructive and pointless. I am surprised that these sorts of weird, reaching posts get upvoted. I think the young kids in here see that someone is endorsed and they just jump on the bandwagon. Compare this post to GLOs recent post. Essentially his post is all about thinking for yourself and trying to do something new with TRP logic (at it's core it is about breaking illusions). This post is a weird language unto itself which espouses the virtues of being alone? How is that sexual strategy? Sure put something in about stoicism but this is just a bridge too far.

[deleted] · 2016-08-17T20:57:38+00:00

The problem with this post is that that the conclusion is not supported by the body.

Loneliness is the longing for dependency upon others.

How do you support or prove this statement?

One might argue that an alpha male might be lonely if he has nobody who is dependent on him-- For example, a father might be lonely if his children died in an accident. An Alpha Male is a leader of a group. If an Alpha male, for whatever reason, is deprived of his ability to lead, he'll probably feel lonely. Also, very high achieving alpha males report a sense of loneliness because there's nobody who can understand the weight of their responsibility.

John Donne once said "No man is an island entire of itself;".

TLDR: OP is nonsense.

circleofshit666 · 2016-08-17T14:54:56+00:00

I wonder how much of this could have been avoided with some old school rights of manhood. Go hunting with dad, head off to boarding school and off the tit, etc.

Gilgs · 2016-08-17T15:24:48+00:00

Yeah, I don't believe this one is quite right. Loneliness is simply the lack of GOOD friends around you (don't misunderstand, lot's of women around you won't give you this feeling, of course you'll feel great short term but its not a lasting feeling) or/and the lack of a hobby. If you have both you won't feel lonely.

vengefully_yours · 2016-08-17T20:08:23+00:00

Been living alone for the years now. Haven't been lonely once. Girls come by for the weekend or a day, then go home. I felt more lonely when i was living with my ex wives, and I was far less content and happy with my life. I'll never shack up again.

My childhood sucked. I've never wanted to go back to it. That would mean beatings, poverty, having nothing, earning to have it taken from me, and everyone holding me back from my potential.

Fuck that.

Rommel0502 · 2016-08-17T15:19:25+00:00

As an introvert, I am often happiest when Im alone. Kept me from the need to swing from gf to gf in my youth.

Stythe · 2016-08-17T21:29:14+00:00

I have mixed opinions on your topics at times but I agree with this. As soon as I read the first sentence it resonated.

I was actually thinking about a lot of people I know recently and how they do a lot of drugs and party when I realized that my past drug use, and the occasions when I do them now, are from the want to experience that childlike sense of wonder and happiness without the weight of the world in the background. It's also the reason I rarely do drugs anymore. A break once in a while may be a nice treat, but living in the real world is far more fulfilling.

victor_knight · 2016-08-18T00:22:48+00:00

Loneliness = DNA fucking with your mind and body so that you will seek to increase its chances, however slightly even, of leaving your ageing, dying body and getting into a new one.

razormachine · 2016-08-18T12:33:43+00:00

I'm going to disagree on that one. I was lonely until I got a dog. The dog is certainly not above me. He is below me, I'm the one taking care of him.

The loneliness is simply the lack of interaction. You can be alpha as fuck, if I lock you up alone in the room you will feel lonely.

[deleted] · Wed Aug 17 17:01:06 2016 UTC

[permanently deleted]

[deleted] · 2016-08-17T17:42:24+00:00

Humans are social creatures and being overly antisocial is either a psychological issue or you're among the guesstimated 5% or so to whom it's a natural trait. Loneliness is basically a lack of substantial human interaction - not necessarily with the opposite sex.

JaagerStanger · 2016-08-18T01:52:19+00:00

I dunno man i just legit like to be around people

I get what you are saying and you have a point about freeing yourself from the need for a suporior or a mentor.

But i dont think it answers the whole question about all the things we may be lonely for.

[deleted] · 2016-08-18T04:04:47+00:00

Loneliness seems often like boredom to me. If I'm occupied I'm not feeling lonely.

Expectations1 · 2016-08-18T12:50:41+00:00

This is actually a really good way of putting it, thanks

[deleted] · 2016-08-17T16:20:47+00:00

Fascinating, the more one digests TRP, the more your posts make sense.

Used to cringe at your writing, now it is enlightening.

stawek · 2016-08-17T19:49:59+00:00

We are abusing the terms "beta" and "alpha".

Not everything bad is beta. Not everything good is alpha.

Beta is somebody whose lowish smv makes him pay for sex with some commitment. While it is far from optimal position, by definition 80% of population are beta. It does not make 80% of population whiny babies longing for a mother figure.

By the way, did you watch Sargon's vid on Cults? I see some similarities here.

BlackJ1 · 2016-08-17T20:35:19+00:00

This may sound very philosophical however I do think it is relevant.

Understand that lonliness is a state of feeling and solitude is a state of being.

If you feel lonely, you are not content with yourself.

EternalAngmoure · 2016-08-18T05:10:48+00:00

Good post but I would warn that men are not happy with killing the beta. It might grant you some degrees of freedom, but it doesn't remedy any loneliness.

The pining for authority in the beta, or the child, is actually a pining for something much deeper, for even if men kill the beta, they are still quite alone. I mean even among ourselves, we tell each other to NEVER show any weakness in front of women, but if weakness is innate to men (and it is no matter how good we become at obscuring and hiding it) then man can never truly have company in women because we can never show our true selves. Women do not fulfill men, they compliment us, but that's it.

Man's love 'downwards' does not fulfill him, it doesn't remedy his loneliness, but just what does? These are the questions that a lot of people will end up asking themselves in the later portions of their life when they have gained the insight through experience, that 'loving downwards' does not complete them, don't get me wrong, it's very necessary but it's not going to remedy any loneliness.

You can have the entire world to yourself -- complete and total freedom -- but if there is no one there, that freedom turns into a special kind of prison.

But the answer to this loneliness is the one that the redpill often omits from the hierarchy of love.

For God loves man, man loves woman, women love children, children love puppies.

Out of all of these, man is the ONLY ONE that has the capacity to love upwards. Loving downwards is very easy, therefor it's more in line with animal instinct, God created Adam to love him, which is the only worthwhile quality that sets him apart from the beasts. Otherwise, there is no point to creation if everyone just chooses to love when it's convenient, that kind of love is just mere animal instinct, but loving 'upwards' goes against this natural hierarchy, meaning that it's the love that is most worthwhile; the meaning behind all of creation.

Killing the beta allows you to push women off of God's throne, for Eve took God's authority when she told Adam that she ate of the tree and didn't die. Adam was the ultimate beta, killing the beta is what lets you ignore her stupid advice and to remember God's words, however, when men kill the beta, the power vacuum still allows for other nefarious occupants to God's throne, so it's not as simple as killing the beta, for you can exchange one tyrant for another.

Man needs a worthy occupant to that throne, because the one who sits on it is the one that man seeks to remedy his loneliness, and there is only one person that can truly fulfill that role.

The God/man relationship will always resemble the Parent/Child relationship, which is why in the end, man can't really completely kill the beta. God is the Alpha AND the Omega, Beginning of all things as well as the end, the redpill is merely one step into opening your relationship with him by pushing women off of his throne, but beware that you do not replace him with another tyrant.

31stan · 2016-08-17T19:35:04+00:00

I am an introverted person, and I have a small group of close friends. I can go out and have a great time almost daily but I still get lonely when I'm not with a woman.

BenGrowinGreens · 2016-08-17T21:10:27+00:00

Coming from a single mother household, this is true as fuck.

Everything that exists within me that screams, "BETA!" is directly correlated to receiving shit all from my mother as far as nurturing is concerned. Any father figure I had was an abhorrently adverse example to a 'solid-frame' mindset. This dude lost his shit, daily.

Anytime I feel the tendency to submit to my beta past bullshit I remind myself I'm not 10 and I never will be 10. If I want what I want then I'm the only one who is going to get it. Being lonely is a product of feeling like I'm waiting for my mom to scoop me up and give me kisses. Fuck that bitch. (Those of you who love your moms, kudos, keep on.) I'll go get my own kisses and do my own scooping. It feels much more enriching to love than to be loved, oddly.

[deleted] · 2016-08-17T21:12:30+00:00

"FREEEEEDOOOOM" -Braveheart

vorenak · 2016-08-18T03:51:10+00:00

"Kill the boy John Snow. Kill the boy and let the man be born." -Maester Aemon

SetConsumes · 2016-08-17T16:14:37+00:00

That is a form of loneliness.

My loneliness stems more from staring at the void and feeling the void within myself. That place of absolute nothing. It's lonely there as there is nothing there but my experiencing it, pure blackness and coldness all around, seemingly infinite in direction and depth.

Title	Loneliness - What is it really?
Author	NeoreactionSafe
Upvotes	317
Comments	89
Date	August 17, 2016 1:45 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4y5nd4/loneliness_what_is_it_really/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/loneliness-what-is-it-really.61548 https://theredarchive.com/post/61548