Intro:

This week I was extended two job offers and accepted one which offers a 60% pay increase over my current salary . What I want to talk about is the two very different mindsets I’ve had both Pre and Post TRP in terms of new jobs and following my career path which I think are very comparable to how the sub recommends we approach the sexual marketplace . I think part of my growth is due to age and experience but I also know guys much older and experienced than me who hold similar mindsets as I did in my pre-TRP career mindset.

Pre-TRP Career Mindset : “ I’m just happy to be here”

For the first three and a half years of my career I have had a poor understanding of what my contribution to my team, offices, and industry was . I grew up with no connections to my field and only naive drive to succeed to steer me forward . If I’m honest this came across strongly in my interviews . I hoped my puppy dog enthusiasm and excitement towards the projects I could potentially be working on would speak louder than my personal presentation .

Interviewers would ask me questions and through a mixture of excitement and nervousness I would rattle off a somewhat applicable answer that hopefully my interviewer could decipher . Essentially I shared a lot of words without truthfully answering questions . People who don’t understand the work you do will eat that up , people who do will see right through it .

Much of this stemmed from a lack of self-esteem but even more so from not thinking I was worth the interview in the first place. I was so consumed by the idea that I was an imposter who happened to trick my potential future employers into inviting me in that I had to balance this demon of insecurity , still manage and conduct myself like some sort of professional , and sell my self as the right man for the job . It was way too much thinking and I sabotaged myself time and time again by not understanding that if someone invited me to their office for an interview then all I had to do was show up and not fuck it up to succeed .

The last mis-step I often had when interviewing was a complete and utter lack of abundance, every job was ( in my mind ) the future of my life for the next 50 years. Now this is just an uncommon concept in the modern workplace in general but even more in the tech industry . Realistically I stayed in one position for two years and that is a significant amount of time in my line of work . I was so wrapped up in the fantasy of what this job could be / do for me that I couldn't acknowledge the reality of it .this lead to me putting far too much pressure on myself and the interview at hand because I didn’t have realistic expectations of what the job was , how it would benefit me , and how it worked as a stepping stone in my larger career map. Many times I was just happy to be contacted by a potential employer which allowed my emotions / imagination to run wild even for shitty work spaces . Thoughts such as “ You have beautiful cubicles here “ , "ooh what a lovely window that is “, “ how many Trashcans is that? 3? Amazing!”. I had low expectations of myself and no expectations for the workplaces I was interviewing at.

Post-TRP Career Mindset : “ I look forward to working together”

I am now over 4 and a half years into my career at this point and I have a very strong idea of not just what I bring to the table , but what my peers bring to the table, where most of my peers fail, where I fail , and where I can better succeed in the future .

This comes across quite strongly in my speech . I used to believe the more words I used to express how attractive a candidate I was the more convincing I was being. The past 6 months of interviewing I have said less and been offered more in terms of salary than I ever have in my entire life ( yes partially due to experience but I also have a higher interview success rate ). I am able to bring my message across far more concisely now and usually if they want me to further explain an answer I of course will . I also tend to to play off their energy / vibe as well I can make small talk with chatty interviewers and the raw Nuts & Bolts guys just want the facts and I am happy to give them just that.

I have a much larger ego , and a stronger sense of self-esteem in large part due to developing a frame . I've understood frame to be a foundation , a core, a center, a base off of which the rest of my thoughts , actions, and words stem from . I used to view Job interviews as a trial in which someone wanted me to prove I was a worthy candidate, now I appreciate it as an invitation to demonstrate the value I know I possess. The job interview process to me always seems kind of annoying for everyone involved you're usually interrupting someone else's workday to speak with you ,so give them the chance to say that the hour they spent talking to was worthwhile and if it isn't they get the chance to repeat the process until they find someone worthwhile . I go into the interview knowing I must be capable of the job on some level or they wouldn’t have invited me in , so my job is to show them that my resume , references, or whatever are just further confirmation that the man in front of them is a man who can do the job .

Lastly I’ve embraced the understanding that a job is a job I’ve worked with bigger teams , small teams , guys I have loved, guys I didn’t like , at Locations I enjoyed, at locations that fucking sucked. The environment changes, the people change , my projects, and responsibilities change but a job is just that a job . It’s a means to help me build my life, provide some value to a company , and explore / improve my skills . At the end of the day every job will end whether you’re the Pope or a garbage man your assignment will come to a conclusion even if death robs you of the chance to quit . The point being that I have learned to embrace the abundance of the job market and the impermanence of my current job-state at any time . I still believe in performing well at my job HOWEVER the jobs I’ve had, the new job I have , and the jobs I will have in the future are just ever changing additional details in my life and embracing that makes it easier to appreciate the moment of an interview . if it doesn’t work out there will be other jobs and if it does great, you have one for the moment .

Conclusion :

TRP and the knowledge shared here have made this year one of the most successful years in my life both professionally and personally , I thank the many awesome contributors to this sub even if I have to dig through the shit to find you . I think the job market mirrors the Sexual market place in a lot of ways so some mantras I want to reiterate that have worked well for me.

  • Don’t be unattractive: , I didn’t cover this too much but go into your interview looking nice / decent , bathe , and while small talk is fine don’t be like Pre-TRP me trying so hard to make an impression that the only impression you leave is that you’re annoying or trying to cover for something .

  • Believe in yourself or no one else will: Act like you’ve been to a job interview before and that you know that you will have others later . They wouldn’t have invited you in if they didn’t believe on some level you could do the job ….or if they are CutCo / primerica who will take whatever bottom feeders that they can get .

  • Know thyself: Research your skillset, expected skills for positions you desire, and what your peers or prospective peers are doing to achieve their positions. I picked up a key piece of technical knowledge when a market was emerging just out of curiosity and that tech has lead me to a pretty successful career today . Know what’s out there, make sure you stay sharp, and know what you bring to the company , to the market , and create a career roadmap to help you project your future.

  • Abundance is Everything: When it comes to careers /jobs I know tremendously successful people with stories of being fired / laid - off . I know people who have held onto the same job out of fear who have had the same job 10+ years . It’s your career / job and please explore it the way you’d like to but just like we don’t put our value in women I think it’s also misguided to put too much of your value into a specific job . Even CEO’s get fired and change jobs so if you grow and are a desirable employee ( or stagnate and become a burden) most likely you will too. Do the best job that you can in the moment , gain the most knowledge / experience you can for yourself in the moment so that when your job ends you can rest comfortable in the knowledge that you can apply your skills and knowledge somewhere else .