The New Cool: American culture's overpedestalization of the "college experience" and why it is toxic to men.

rigbed · 2016-09-26T23:53:40+00:00

I'm in uni, and I'm in a constant mental battle between focusing on social life and academics. I lean to academics, and eventually I'll get back into lifting, but I can't shed the nagging feeling that I'll regret not partying more when I'm older.

Stayinghereforreal · 2016-09-27T01:01:51+00:00

College is the time you are laying a foundation for the next 40 years.

If you are spending that time drinking and clubbing, you done messed up.

Treat college studies and working out like a full-time job Monday morning through Friday afternoon. Every week. Every semester. Every year.

Get up early, get your day underway, go all day. Hit the bed at a proper time to get your full 8-9 hours of sleep. Eat right. No partying during the week. At all.

Then have fun Friday night through Saturday night. Sunday is for rest and preparation for the week.

popthatpill · 2016-09-27T08:11:49+00:00

Great post.

If you're an American male, you've heard it all concerning college:

"Best 4 years of your life".

Everybody tells it to you: parents, media, your friends, the internet, and heck even masculine communities to an extent.

College is the NEW COOL in American culture.

Can confirm. I live in Australia and even here, the OMG UNIVERSITY IS SO MUCH FUN propaganda is so pervasive even my parents subjected me to it.

University is a boring, expensive waste of time. Only do if you need to do it for your career.

You hear it every time, in regards to social life and sex, everything after college is a consolation prize. No matter what you do, the Chad in college who joined the right frat and took up an easy business major would have had a college experience full of sex, social life, friends, and parties that you cannot possibly rival after college.

Life after college is always shown as boring in many ways.

This is your clue that middle-class people are behind it - rich people never stop having fun, so it would never occur to them that it has to end after university.

The best advice I've ever read on the topic of university is: treat it like a job, not a lifestyle.

Invalidity · 2016-09-27T00:19:16+00:00

College can be the time where men get most of their jollies out of the way, but it's also a time for networking and career building. The problem isn't that college is put on a pedestal, it's that boys are not really prepared for the rigors of college.

You can have LOTS of fun in college and still be successful, but the reality is, not many men will be able to do that. But ultimately, I believe that it's an accurate representation of men in general: most men will be better served focusing on their academics and future prospects and foregoing social pleasures. But the "fun" will be too tempting for most men, and they will give in and sacrifice their academics.

The reality is, having fun is never going to be on the level that it was in college. It doesn't mean it can't be salvageable or enjoyable by any means, but that is the reality. College isn't pedestalized; it can be a man's most memorable years, because he will be around women when they are most open and most fertile.

You can party when you're older, but chances are you aren't going to be living the Dan Bilzerian lifestyle. Which means you're not going to be partying it up with 18-22 year-olds much, if at all. People try to write off women at those ages as "immature" or "too crazy", but remember this, all women past college age were 18-22 at some point in their lives. The odds are good that you'll encounter an older woman who has all the baggage of a girl graduating from college, yet has the looks and extra baggage of an older woman.

The bottomline is that whether or not college was as amazing as people may claim, you can make the most of what you have now regardless of what your age is. Trying to relive your college days as an older man is fruitless. But that doesn't mean you have to give up everything.

notadaddy · 2016-09-27T03:45:51+00:00

I really enjoyed college, but I got a very healthy balance of work/play and to actually focus on my major , Art & Film. All the facilities and equipment I could use. But yes, I knew a lot of guys who got caught up in the lifestyle, lot of drop outs due to constant partying, and worse, lots of guys who developed toxic habits. But lets not lie, the access to girls and how easy they are and concentration of girls is hard to beat!

Wumpus1 · 2016-09-27T06:34:08+00:00

Being in a frat in college was pretty god damn sweet to be completely honest. Really one hell of a life experience to say the least.

Most of the guys who fit into that scene are NOT successful though. They peak in or just a couple years after college until their connections and pussy dry up.

The guys who are in frats and still kick ass outside the confines of a frat party are who you want to know. The dudes who will likely actually be hugely successful in business later on.

[deleted] · 2016-09-27T06:22:25+00:00

I went to college but neither my parents nor the government had the money to afford me the "college experience". I had to work my ass off to pay my way through school and lived off campus cause fuck paying for overpriced dorms. Frats? Ain't got time for that shit. Yeah I made a few friends, fucked a few girls but didn't have the typical college experience that people glorify.

That's what people don't fucking get, if you come from a working class background you're not going to have the "college experience". Now that I'm past that part of my life I'm banging more and better quality.

vagbutters · 2016-09-27T02:34:58+00:00

College was nothing special for me-- I learned around my sophomore year the basics of fitness and changed my body. The past 4 years since have been some of the best in my life thanks to that. The college experience is not only expensive, but overrated. Chad can have sex at any point in time in his life.

[deleted] · 2016-09-27T15:30:11+00:00

Another thing: very few men hit their prime when they are 18-22. Most hit their prime at 30-45.

Women get to party when they are in their prime. Men are supposed to be work-horses in theirs.

Piediver · 2016-09-27T04:12:53+00:00

Then you graduate (if you're lucky) with 60-80k student loans. You're basically having a 4-year party paid for with credit.

dmystery · 2016-09-27T11:16:34+00:00

This couldn't be further from the truth for me.

I'm in college right now. My experience currently sucks balls. I have no friends, no girlfriends, no guy friends, 0 lays, no hobbies and just feel shitty bouncing from antidepressant to antidepressant, therapist to therapist.

Depression makes me feel shit about everything and anxiety makes me not want to do anything about it. I read starting strength, paid for a gym membership, joined a boxing class, new wardrobe, nice haircut, have read the sidebar and everything else on game and yet nothing. I just feel like I'm slowly regressing in everything. I envy everyone else. It annoys the shit out of me when everyone fawns over the girls who have "depression" and an "eating disorder" while I just sit in my room all day after lectures jerking myself off to the point of exhaustion to sleep.

My family is the only thing stopping me from topping myself.

Bred_Alpha · 2016-09-27T01:34:31+00:00

I had the college experience in a lot of ways, got invited to formals by sororities, date nights, themed parties, went to ragers, and even got invited to some weekend resort trips. All that being said, the stressful academics alongside the drama and politics that come with 18-21 year olds being around other 18-21 year olds was too much. The best fraternities were all about politics and it was an endless game of House of Cards with guys having to guard their status at every turn. You hardly had that much of a brotherhood, usually guys would join and make 5 or 6 decent friends but they secretly hated the rest of their brothers. I won't even get into how miserable life was for fraternity guys in a lower status house.

After college I have attended rooftop pool parties, exclusive parties in big cities, parties thrown by people in the film industry, and a lot of other great events. I've drunk better liquor, got wasted in better ways, and crashed in places that weren't dirty torn up couches that smelled like a dirty overweight stripper's ass. I have taken Euro trips to fun places where the people would make your average fraternity guy look like a lifelong Mormon.

Life after college has a very high ceiling, life in college is largely lame. The best fraternities are full of insecure try hards who are only doing well at that age because their rich parents pay for all of their shit. Even the hottest sororities are full of uggos and plain janes, only a handful of hotties in them.

Even at its best, college life cannot compete with the beauty real life has to offer. If you think even a PIKE at Florida St can rival Leonardo DiCpario, I don't know what to tell you at that point.

[deleted] · 2016-09-27T02:34:09+00:00

College was allot of work and I had no money..

After college I only worked 3-4 days a week and made enough to party every night..

I didn't get married tho

nrafield · 2016-09-27T03:37:46+00:00

This is not really limited to the USA either.

kanyewost · 2016-09-27T13:52:54+00:00

Its funny cos that description is perfect for all Girls, you get their Alpha fucks in college then settle for Beta bucks for marriage post college when they realise work isn't fun LMAO

Your_Coke_Dealer · 2016-09-27T18:30:11+00:00

I don't know about you guys, but college is a, but not the fun time of my life. It's just going to be a different game once I'm done with it. Level 1 complete, on to harder level 2. I will be more experienced, a better man of higher SMV, and won't "slow down". Why should I? I'll go from having decent money to making bank, and look better with age.

But why is college considered "the" time? Women. They're the ones for which it is "the" time. They'll never be so hot again. They'll never be able to get so much dick again. In college it's normal to be a slut, it's expected, it's glossed over afterward as time of experimentation that doesn't count for overall character. Women project this on men. They're told the same.

Surely if all the women fuck everyone, then logically there must be an equal number of men they're fucking? But nope. 80:20 rule; it's all chads, and those 80% will find college overrated. If you work to be in that top 20, even if barely, then you'll love it. Just don't peak now, because SMV isn't anywhere near peak at age 21.

SchlagerScar · 2016-09-27T19:36:13+00:00

I understand that is just a matter of statistics that MOST people in a culture are going to have a similar life path because they are getting the same cultural message.

But I can't help from asking why don't you just do whatever you want when you want to?

I'm not bagging on OP's rant, but shit, man, you want to party? It doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, just party. You want to study? Then study. You want to make money? Do it. Combine all that shit, it IS possible.

Think and act for yourself.

I had a blast when I was in school. I had a blast when I was out of school. I'm in my 50's and I'm STILL having a blast. It IS possible.

SometimesRightJohnny · 2016-10-01T22:47:55+00:00

I finished university in the 90s but it was pretty much the full party experience. Wouldn't trade it even for my middle nut.

Usecod · 2016-09-26T23:36:45+00:00

If I have the power to go back to the past,I would definitely not attend the nightmare called college.I also want to erase my memories from there.

mojo_juju · 2016-09-27T05:02:09+00:00

Whoever believes in the message of this post needs to get their act together.

Don't waste your fucking youth guys-- Don't do drugs (yes, including weed, I wasted a decade getting high)

You will end up living in a tent like I did for a little while (if you're lucky. if you're not, maybe an overpass in a shitty city surrounded by dangerous, untrustworthy drug addicts. I at least schmoozed my way onto various farms/rural properties that were decent to live on). Sounds like an adventure, but it was tough as fuck, and yes I cried sometimes when shit got rough. Live in a tent in 3 different states (1 state lived in tent/in friends camping trailer, so twice in one state at various points), for 1-4 months each time, plus other various points living in car/on friends & families couches.

I am nearing 30. Between 23-30, I will have spent 1 year of my life living in a tent.

Think it won't happen to you because someone somewhere will recognized how special you are? Suck my fucking balls and then slap yourself, you entitled shitbag.

But guess what-- Now I am kicking ass hardcore in grad school, people look up to me (including professors), and I feel like the popular guy in class. Why? Because my failure led to my current drive & discipline. Plus now I have memories of some tough shit I can refer back to, mentally, when shit gets rough in grad school.

(Not talking to you OP, I know you're simply demonstrating a point -- fellas, be sure you make it to the punchline at the end of this post.)

Don't waste your college years-- they're super fucking important. They're a foundation. Yes it's good to learn to socialize, do it a bit. but don't over do it.

Score at least a 3.5 GPA and learn valuable job-relevant skills-- that should be your main priority.

Why GPA? It demonstrates to employers and grad schools that you are capable. It might seem pointless while you're there, but 5 or 10 years (or more) later when you're trying to get into a good grad school, you'll regret that 3.0 or sub-3.0

I regret not having a better GPA. Now I am at a sub-par grad school (not research-focused, more teaching focused-- Hey, I won't complain, I'll suck it up and knock this fucker out with a 4.0 and tight ass skills I build outside of class). That said, in college, I did build great skills, including organizing people into campaigns, and much better social skills than the majority of people I know.

Now I am combining that with hard skills (technical skills) for a more complete package.

Read this post the right way though-- He's pointing out the bullshit message of it all.

[deleted] · 2016-09-27T10:05:22+00:00

Just more increasingly valid reasons men shouldn't go. College as well as the rest of the education system is on too giant a pedestal. You don't 'need' to be in "school" to learn.

http://www.returnofkings.com/46364/why-men-should-not-go-to-college

HAMMURABl · 2016-09-27T10:57:51+00:00

Not from the US but I'm obviously aware of what the "US college experience", however I just realized that

For those of you that are not too familiar with modern day American culture, in the USA we drink, party, and engage in all of the crazy hedonistic acts in high school and college. All of the stuff we talk about on TRP (spinning plates, getting laid, and fun experiences)? All that that stuff is mostly restricted to your college years at the latest. After that, it is time to "grow up" and time to "be an adult". Time to stop partying, stop sleeping around, and stop trying to get laid. Now it is time to "settle down" and start a family, get that mortgage, have those kids, and be an "adult".

is awfully aligned with the female interest how they hope men would behave. i wonder why this narrative is pushed. /s

[deleted] · 2016-09-27T16:17:16+00:00

Can you still party and not be in a frat? Im a freshmen in a non greek dominated campus, but uts tough to get into parties, and i dont know about the non frat stuff

sunkindonut149 · 2016-09-27T18:57:43+00:00

Yup, the stereotype that college and high school are the most fun you'll have in life is bullshit and it fried my brain too.

I've internalized low social status for so many years that after losing a significant amount of weight in my 30s I still consider myself a fat basement dweller.

For many years, I felt like a loser because I ... studied.... in school... which is a place for study. I feel like I'm having a midlife crisis because I started getting into the music scene in my 30s instead of in my 20s.

But then I think about all the jackasses who are in debt up to their ears because they Did What Society Wanted Us To Do with the "school experience".

really_a_hot_girl · 2016-09-27T20:33:50+00:00

College party life, like moving out permanently at a young age, are to me evidence of an inability to defer gratification. There is absolutely no reason that you should spend the years when your mind is in the best shape that it will ever be in, and you've got no skills, and drowning yourself in alcohol. Treat college like a job and it will pay itself back a hundredfold. And when you graduate, and have a good job, and a nice car, and money, you can go and have fun and fuck sluts. If you stay in shape and dress decent it doesn't really get harder to pick up girls as you get older.

[deleted] · 2016-09-27T21:27:27+00:00

College sucks, I get laid a lot more now, enjoy life more, and generally have a higher standard of living now that I have, you know, a job, money, a car, my own place, etc.

[deleted] · 2016-09-27T21:45:42+00:00

College campus have posters all over the place that read "Silence is not consent" and have posters with flow charts on how to report sexual attacks. Not sure why I got an entirely different experience, but college is the place where men can be charged with sexual crimes at the drop is a hat.

College these days seems to be run by women, for women, and if you are a male who tries to touch any female then they are just itching to make an example out of you and have you arrested.

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favours_of_the_moon · 2016-09-28T03:48:54+00:00

This is a GREAT point. The "college experience" nowadays has become all about girls, "young women" letting lose without consequence on the CC. That's literally ALL it is.

You know that thing in high school where you always feel like EVERYONE'S "out there" having some good time somewhere? That's a female psychology. Always wanting to be included. Always feeling EXcluded, unless you're somehow in the center of attention.

Don't worry about being part of some scene. Do your thing man. In college, you'll go far if you actually LEARN some shit. I'm not saying not to have a good time either. But go to the library. Follow up on tidbits from class, follow up on an interesting thread in subjects that interest you. GUARANTEED that will pay dividends even years into the future.

Toussant · 2016-09-29T20:02:39+00:00

College went by in a flash. I learned a bunch of useless things, much of which were forgotten the day after the test.

Does any college even have a seminar on dating/social skills? Just having people together isn't enough for everyone.

Mckallidon · 2016-09-27T02:11:22+00:00

College sucks. I made friends and did well but the sales pitch and finished product are like the MySpace photography with McDonald's sandwiches.

Johndoesmith67 · 2016-09-27T11:57:27+00:00

That chad's fun stops at senior year when he has to pay that debt down and has no resume to show for it.. Quite the opposite for the single white male pulling 60-70k in a 1099 sales position he can dictate his schedule for. Maybe hit san diego, maybe fly to belize. No worries. Alot of your fun and "popular" (gag) kids in college are hitting that peak, and know it.

Title	The New Cool: American culture's overpedestalization of the "college experience" and why it is toxic to men.
Author	StumpinToVictory
Upvotes	178
Comments	104
Date	September 26, 2016 11:28 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/54nm7s/the_new_cool_american_cultures/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-new-cool-american-cultures-overpedestalization.63291 https://theredarchive.com/post/63291