FDS FAQs Answered! Becky vs. Dreamgirl

This is some basic FDS philosophy all of you should be aware of. It will address most FAQs. The advice that follows is geared towards LTRs/marriage. If you are familiar with FDS already, scroll down and read The Story Of Becky and Dreamgirl.

What is a high-value man?

• Are you in search of a SO/husband who treats you like a queen and respects, loves, and cherishes you? Do not try to force fuckboys or low-value men into this role. You need to be clear from the getgo as to what your standards are, and do not falter from those.
• A high-value man's character is loving, his treatment is CONSISTENT, and you never have to wonder where you stand with him. The high-value man pays for all dates and early courtship, and is a successful, sane, confident, loving man who cares about you as a human being. He will be there for you in times of hardship. He does not violate your boundaries. He is pleasant, respectful, classy, gainfully employed, and successful.
• He does not tease you or neg you. He does not ask you to pay for anything. He is not a gaslighter or narcissist. He is lovely, and he adds value to your life. You enjoy spending time with him and can envision a future with him. He does not bring headache, strife, confusion, pressure, stress, guilt, or drama to your life.

Where do I find a high-value man?

• There is a high-value man out there for you, make no mistake. If you do not believe this, read the posts on self-worth, and then come back here. You deserve to be treated well and do not have to tolerate any low-value treatment.
• Your main job is to stop wasting time on anyone who does not meet your standards, and to ruthlessly cut off scrubs. You cannot find a high-value man if you are pining over losers and delude yourself into thinking they are high-value.
• You have to keep in mind, high-value men may treat women who offer them convenient sex poorly. That does not mean they will make a shitty partner or that they are shitty human beings. They will gladly be high-value and an amazing partner when it comes to their dreamgirl who makes him wait. The Madonna/whore complex that has invaded the mind of every man. If you can present as dreamgirl, you get his best treatment. If you take no shit, you get his best treatment. He cannot respect the woman who compromised her standards to be with him.
• IRL meeting has an advantage because most super-successful HVM will not be on OLD. Get dressed up cute and go to where successful men in your area frequent. Be more social, attend events.

Okay, so you think you've met a high-value man. Let's get started.

Is he sexualizing the conversation? Is he trying to have sex before being exclusive?

• As a general rule of thumb, there should be no sex talk before exclusivity. Your mindset should be, it’s disrespectful to you to even be asked questions of a sexual nature. He's not your boyfriend. Who is he? He's just one of the several men you are currently dating and vetting. Why in the hell is he assuming you will be having sex with him? You have not even committed to him. You've barely known him a month. You’re not a Netflix and chill girl.
• You need to shut down the sexual avenue alltogether. Ok? I don't care if you are horny. Feign ignorance, change the subject, tell him to stop with the sex talk. A HVM may push the envellope a bit to see where you stand, but will respect you when you put him in his place. The LVM will keep trying to violate your boundaries and treat you like a sex object. Dump him.
• If he is not your boyfriend, he doesn’t get the benefit of knowing anything about your sex life. He should be asking about your thoughts, goals, politics, and life in the pre-bf stage. Not your body.

What is exclusivity? EXCLUSIVITY TIMELINE

• If you’re dating, by 4-6 weeks after date 1, he is supposed to ask you to be exclusive. This means, he wants to commit to you and wants you to commit to him. He pledges to stop dating anyone and would be over the moon to have you as his girlfriend. If he doesn’t want to gf you by this time, he doesn’t like you like that. You can either accept it at week 6 or tell him you want to date longer before being bf/gf.
• Do not commit if he has not invested in your relationship and treated you well. Going Dutch on dates or cheaping out is a sign he does not respect you or see you as wife material.
• Do not be the one to ask him to be exclusive, it comes across desperate. See what he naturally wants to do.
• No sex or sex talk before exclusivity. Shut down any inkling of that via text or in person. Kissing is fine, but nothing more.
• If a man does not want to claim you after a month of knowing how amazing you are, do you even want him? The answer is no. You want the man who is decisive and sure about you. There is no confusion. There is no "let's have fun and see where this goes". If you are relationship-minded, you cannot settle for a man who is not relationship-minded or is dragging his feet in claiming you.

When can I have sex? SEX TIMELINE

• You need a 90 day period to gauge intentions before any sex.
• Any man who is truly into you will wait this long and even longer, until you feel comfortable and want to have sex. Men will even wait years to have sex for their true love, make no mistake. If a man is pressuring you to do it before you want to, dump him. Anyone who likes you as a person will stick around.
• The 90 days no sex rule is there to protect you and your heart and to see whether he is willing to invest in you and your relationship. Also to see whether he is in it for the long haul or for sexual access.
• The 90 day no sex rule shows a man that you are an ideal gf/wife as well. I don’t make the rules. 🤷‍♀️ but men certainly have less respect for a woman who has sex with them soon.
• They will think of her as not worth more investment or effort. So, you need to hold out and make him wait so that you ensure the queen treatment from him and that he brings his best to the table.
• Women don’t know how men talk behind closed doors-The truth is, they have far less respect for any woman who has sex with them soon or even sexts too soon. Don’t listen to the men of reddit, it’s all lies. They will say anything in an attempt to sexualize things quickly, without effort and without ever investing a dime. Because that benefits them.
• Make him wait. If it’s tough for you, either get a FWB or just stick it out. Honestly, you will find you being alone is better than mediocre sex buddies 90% of the time anyway.
• Make him wait-EVEN IF YOU ARE EXCLUSIVE AND HE IS YOUR BOYFRIEND, you have every right and should be making him wait 90 days to be able to be clear headed about everything. Your boyfriend should still be regularly taking you out on nice dates.

The moment you give it up is the moment you’re going to have a hard time leaving if you see any red flags.

• The moment you give it up is when he starts relaxing his efforts too.
• Men are on their best behavior BEFORE they have sex with you. If he’s being a douchebag prior, it will never get better.
• Men are supposed to be pick mes and proving their worth to you overtime before you have sex. Evolutionary, they love the chase and they love a never ending challenge.
• They will grow tired and never wife the woman who gave it up easy.
  • There’s nothing new to look forward too and they will place her in the hoe category their heads.
  • The Madonna/whore complex runs deep. Don’t trust anyone who says they don’t suffer from the Madonna/whore complex, they all do.

That is the abstract theory. If you've made it this far, I applaud you.

BECKY AND DREAMGIRL

What I am about to write is FDS in a nutshell. It will all make sense now.

Let me paint two scenarios for you.

Becky:

Becky meets a guy named John Doe. He is very charming and nice. He seems like the perfect HVM for her. She is into him. Becky and John text constantly. They have gone out on 3 to 9 dates. They alternate who pays, and she sometimes goes to his part of town to make things easier for him.

He sometimes pushes the envelope and sexualizes the conversation. She is into him and responds with some suggestive texts and wink emojis. She thinks this is showing him she is interested. She thinks everything is going SO WELL!

John Doe, meanwhile, is surprised. He cannot believe all he had to do was spend $50 on 2 dates and Becky spent $40 herself on 2 dates, because she’s so thirsty for his dick. What an easy conquest! John Doe thinks to himself. He barely knows her last name, and Becky is already imagining their lives together. He barely did anything. She does not even know all of his bad qualities.

He has barely known this girl for a month and she already is willing to have sex with him and fulfill all his desires.

Essentially, all he had to do is exist. He barely puts efforts into his looks now that the sex boundary has been crossed. He’ll mousse his hair a little bit before meeting, but he will not go buy a new shirt to impress her. He is confident in the knowledge Becky is obsessed with him.

John will start suggesting lower budget date locales because his ego is so inflated by the attention she’s given him.

He puts Becky in the “sex” category in his head and will spend time with her for convenience sake until he finds his actual dreamgirl who he is willing to pull out all the stops for.

He will even be with Becky for years as long as she keeps tolerating his low effort. He may even dangle “marriage someday” for decoration. Whatever. He will say what he thinks will keep the sex and wifey access going. Becky thinks because he tolerates her and spends time with her, he loves her. She doesn't mind paying here and there, they're in love!! Oh, Becky. She doesn’t know what it is like to be cherished, adored, and worked for. When John meets dreamgirl, who doesn't tell him his shit don't stink, he will be enamored. Dreamgirl is different.

Dreamgirl:

John's dream girl is captivating because she is not impressed by him just existing. She doesn’t seem to bend over backwards for him. She doesn’t try to pay on dates. Wow, John, thinks to himself. There must be something really special about her. SHE DOESN'T EVEN TAKE THE BAIT when he makes suggestive comments. Damn, I have to try harder.

She is stone cold. John thinks she must be something really special, and being a successful man, he likes the challenge of conquering dreamgirl.

She is so much more fascinating than Becky, who was easily impressed, easily fooled, and easily fucked. Dreamgirl is not too available for John. She doesn’t respond to every text within five seconds. She has high self-confidence and self-worth.

John thinks this is the kind of woman he wants to wife and he wants to be the mother of his kids. Dreamgirl is just so confident and fascinating. She takes no shit. He is happy to be a pick me for her, to take her out on amazing, high-quality dates. He pays every time, of course.

John asks her to be exclusive around the week 6 mark, and she says yes. She has enjoyed how he has been taking her on beautiful, pleasant, lovely dates the past several weeks. He continues to treat her well and court her and spoil her. Around month 4, he has finally shown such investment and true commitment to her, that she decides to have sex with him. She has decided he’d make a good husband. She vetted him properly, and the no sex for 90 days rule allowed him to fall in love with her as a person, not as a sex object.They’re in love.

John never falters in his spoiling of dreamgirl because the bar was set high from the getgo. He derives joy from impressing her and treating her well, and she remains captivating to him. She still DOES NOT DO WIFEY SHIT for him or go out of her way too much, because there’s no ring on her finger.

Dreamgirl has made it clear that she's seeking to get married within the year and has no time for BS casual relationships with no end in sight. She spelled this out for him the first month. Month six, he proposes to her, wishing to lock her down forever. He is afraid someone else will get his elusive dreamgirl. She is in high demand and based on his experience with her not putting out quickly, he knows she is not desperate for sex or attention. She accepts his proposal. and that’s how she gets the ring.

They get married, and she continues to maintain her high standards. John is happy to oblige. He loves to work for her affection and love. It keeps things fresh and exciting for him.

He thinks back to Becky, and thinks it’s so ridiculous how this dumb girl treated him like God’s gift just for existing.

Dreamgirl keeps him motivated to keep giving her his best because that’s what she always expected.

He knows that if he disrespects dreamgirl or is a bad partner to her, she will leave him. She never tolerated any suggestive texts before he hs her bf. She is not desperate for attention like Becky was. He knows dreamgirl is a catch and that she can leave at any time.

He has no problem happily giving her his best because he understands she has options and self-worth. She takes no shit, she never did. He will continue providing because he can that’s a bare minimum non-negotiable for dreamgirl. He will continue spoiling her because he wants her to be happy.

He knows Dreamgirl can actually get a more successful man, but she chose him because of his consistent, respectful treatment.

Becky let John's douchebag behavior slide, so he never respected Becky. He knew he didn’t have to do anything to impress her.

I hope it is now clear how to implement FDS and why it works.

Note: If your prospective HVM is ethnic/conservative/religious/spiritual- if you want to be ultra dreamgirl and if you don’t care about testing sexual compatibility soon, tell him you will not be having sex with him until you’re engaged. Or until after marriage. “sex is extremely sacred to me, I can’t imagine having sex with a man I’m not marrying”. They like being forced to invest. Trust. The most religious will even dump you if you're engaged and have sex because he has put you in the casual sex category in his head.

I support all of you having sex whenever you want if that's what you want, I am just saying, do not be naive to the realities of male psychology.

As always, protect your heart, keep your standards high, and options open. Know that you are the prize. Do not be afraid of making him wait for sex.

You are not a dime in a dozen. You are not another Becky notch in his bedpost. You ARE dreamgirl.