How to prevent being taken advantage of

Deep_Strength · 2020-07-06T23:39:00+00:00

I've recently dealt with an issue where a personal trainer tried to take advantage of me by working out with his friends during our slotted time.

"It seems unprofessional to me that you're interacting with your friends during our slotted time"

If he's still unprofessional then go to the manger. If you go above right away, you're almost always going to build animosity as most normal people generally want the opportunity to correct their mistakes. I've probably done this inadvertently before too.

That still doesn't excuse his behavior but use some wisdom.

A coworker stealing my stuff and attacking me from behind after I confront him, resulting in me becoming a ostracized. A subordinate threatening to assault me, resulting in both of us being fired.

Can't speak for those situations without more details. Do you come off as a nice guy? Have you read no more Mr nice guy? Do you leave things out that give people opportunities to take stuff? Are you firm when you talk with people? Do you come off as taking a big game but can't back it up?

Fantasiadreamcicle · 2020-07-06T23:57:38+00:00

I think the plain and simple answer is that these *snowflakes* (and I believe the word is being used appropriately in this context) are not used to confrontation. Most people have never had to work on themselves in areas of confrontation which results in people getting angry manifestinng physically, verbally, etc. We are no longer living in an era of hard work on oneself, but do everything in our possible strength to avoid confronting people to any degree. You took them out of their comfort zone. Keep standing up for yourself. It's something I regularly shy away from due to being worried for myself physically in those instances.

UpTanks · 2020-07-07T01:53:21+00:00

The worst thing you can do in these situations is overthink it. Just speak calmly and directly address the issue and to the person first - and then (if it persists) management.

Like another commenter said, most people will get flustered due to their immaturity. Well that's because those people were never told "no" by their parents, which has led to them treating you or others disrespectfully. They are essentially children but in adult bodies, which makes them dangerous.

It's on you to confront them in a way that isn't threatening, otherwise they fight/flight.

As for your issues more generally:

Get bigger, stronger and better at fighting. Speak in a descending tone and look people in the eye when speaking to them. If someone is threatening you, stand with your arms crossed ready if they take a swing. Stand your ground and don't be afraid of conflict.

I wouldn't give a stuff if some kid of a dude who threatened me trains at the same BJJ whatever gym. It sounds like you are either a coward, really small or living in the hood(?). Bigger things in life mate, I bet the dude doesn't even remember you lol

agoodcrayon · 2020-07-07T02:01:17+00:00

What are your stats? What kind of demeanor do you carry? What do you look like? Are you y’all or short? Do you have a punchable face? Are you attractive or unattractive?

If you’ve just begun this journey of improvement and lifting then you’ll be tested appropriately for the first year. It’s a growing pain but it will ease. In reality, you’re actually being calloused through these situations.

I would look forward to opposition if I were you. It’s just another nail that needs to get hammered. In time, you’ll be used to it and you won’t be asking this question.

On another note, this is the world we live in. These people don’t know what they’re doing. Be the guy that does know. You’re self-aware enough to recognize this event. Seek God and don’t take it personal when things get tough.

Also, I’d recommend a book for you:

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

redwall92 · 2020-07-07T14:31:54+00:00

Implementing the books in the sidebar reading would go along way to getting you where it sounds like you want to be.

No More Mr Nice Guy

When I Saw No I Feel Guilty

How to Win Friends and Influence People

ENTPunisher · 2020-07-07T14:48:00+00:00

Many people who don't know me well will try to pull a fast one and take advantage of me because (1) I'm always polite and (2) I have a baby face and look 5 years younger.

I then have to spend time demonstrating to them that they have made a huge mistake and totally misjudged my propensity towards ****ing them over. But it's always worth the time spent to knock their pride down 2 notches.

Title	How to prevent being taken advantage of
Author	yagop1
Upvotes	8
Comments	10
Date	July 6, 2020 11:10 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askRPC
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/hmitla/how_to_prevent_being_taken_advantage_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askRPC/how-to-prevent-being-taken-advantage-of.705483 https://theredarchive.com/post/705483