/u/awalt_cupcake posted something that intrigued me:

I still think of The Ex That Started It All^TM. Which leads me to believe men can be alpha widow'd. The ones that shatter our fantasy.

I think it has a lot to do with regret. Marcus Aurelius (sidebar reading material) states that it's only natural for us to regret what was good for us. Anything else is not natural to regret and shouldn't be regretted.

In this case I think we look back wishing we knew what we knew then to have become a better man for a particular individual so that maybe we'd still be together, in an open relationship scenario, happy, accepting what she is. That's how I feel. I still look back fondly because not everything was bad.

And I could have totally milked it now lol.

The Male Alpha Widow(er)?

This concept is interesting, but needs some flesh and definition. One of my laws is that relationships women have with men change what they want in men, but the reverse isn't true.

This is pretty easy to logically prove - has any girl changed your desire to get fucked on the regular, be treated with respect, and for her to have a tight body? Nope. But the whole concept of an alpha widow is rooted in the idea that once a woman has a man of a certain tier, the bar gets reset that high.

But what happens with men? Most male sexual strategy revolves around not getting fucked over, not necessarily getting a 10/10.

The One That Got Away

Traditional TRP wisdom says oneitis is the consequence of lacking abundance. In many ways, this is correct. But....we all have that girl. Maybe even a few of them, for different reasons. So what's going on there?

My best guess is a mixture of what awalt_cupcake articulated (regret for not getting the best) and that these "special" girls made some impact that changed us, but didn't change what we wanted out of women.

My examples

I can think of 2. Funny thing is they are very apart timeline-wise.

Number one is my first live-in GF. We did long distance before I graduated college and I moved in with her "temporarily". Classic story of descent into betadom, not getting fucked, etc. This one was a regret story. Also she gave unbelievable head.

Number two was a Colombian girl I picked up literally days after filing my divorce. I definitely pedestalized her after the fact, since she "rescued" me. I got my mojo back with her in a spectacular way, so that's why she lingers.

What's your story?