“What is repugnant to every human being is to be reckoned always as a member of a class and not as an individual person.”

-Dorothy L Sayers

The problem with the RP and FDS and other such systems is that they’re based on the concept that there’s some arcane secret formula that guarantees getting laid as long as you follow the steps. These systems promise to demystify men’s and women’s natures and give you the inside scoop into how each gender operates, mentally and emotionally, and life hacks to “beat the system”.

Fortunately, that’s not how real life works. How many times have we seen men lament on this sub that women only want tall, insanely ripped men who are also rich CEOs? How does that explain the popularity among women of men like Adam Driver and Timothee Chalamet? One is “ugly” and the other is like a tiny boy.

Some women are funny. Some are serious. Some women love makeup. Some hate it. Some women age insanely well. Some don’t. Some women want a ripped man. Some women prefer a dad bod. Some women want a more assertive man. Some women want a less assertive man. Some women are looking for a man to share her nerdy passions with. Some find such things to be juvenile. Some women are gorgeous, some average, some unattractive. Some women are insanely smart, and some aren’t. Some women are single moms through abandonment and some are because of their own fault.

Some men want marriage. Some men want to sleep around their whole lives. Some men can’t wait to start a family. Some men never want kids. Some men want a curvy woman, some like them slimmer, some don’t have a preference. Some men highly value intelligence, and some just want a good time. Some men would abandon a pregnant woman and some wouldn’t.

I read these posts and think gosh, is it really hard to just think everyone in the world is a unique individual and to treat them as such? And then I realize yes it is hard, that’s why people want an easy solution like the red pill formula that tells you “women are xyz so do 4+5 and you’ll get 9!”

Life is not that simple, my friends. Take it from me and my husband, happily married for almost two years and best friends for much longer - we were both physically attracted to each other when we got together and he’s been my standard for men for ten years. And guess what? He’s short (5’5” - my height exactly), he’s 28 days younger than me, half Jewish, a dance major, poor (poverty level when we married), and physically handicapped. We were both virgins when we married but have a crazy good sex life. He loves collecting, art museums and cooking. And he’s been the most attractive man I’ve ever known since before we graduated high school. Gee, maybe it’s not always all about money, “high value”, being an alpha, being tall, being a supermodel, etc. maybe everyone has individual tastes, right?

Think about that.

“‘What,’ men have asked distractedly from the beginning of time, ‘what on earth do women want?’ I do not know that women, as women, want anything in particular, but as human beings they want, my good men, exactly what you want yourselves: interesting occupation, reasonable freedom for their pleasures, and a sufficient emotional outlet. What form the occupation, the pleasures and the emotion may take, depends entirely upon the individual. You know that this is so with yourselves - why will you not believe it is so with us?”

-an excerpt from “Are Women Human?” by Dorothy L. Sayers