Do you mind if you're lover is bigger/same size and stronger than you?

Barely-moral · 2020-07-24T19:14:11+00:00

I personally wouldn't care. The thing is in my experience women do care.

As long as she is still attracted to me I don't mind if my partner is bigger than me or stronger than me.

The thing is, in most situations, if the woman is bigger/stronger than me she is not attracted or will lose attraction.

I can imagine some men that would rather have a partner that is not bigger/stronger than them but the vast majority of the male population does not have options so they take what they can get.

Infammo · 2020-07-24T19:07:03+00:00

My attraction to a woman isn't impacted by whether she's taller or shorter than me, for most women that feeling isn't mutual though.

I don't know about "stronger." I work out enough that a woman could only really be stronger than me if she was a bit roided up, which is definitely unattractive in my mind. If she didn't look ripped I doubt I'd care.

Ordinate1 · 2020-07-24T19:24:26+00:00

Heh, I am 6'3", 250#, and do physical labor all day long.

Anyone bigger and stronger than me is kind of a weird situation.

reluctantly_red · 2020-07-24T21:08:31+00:00

One of my high school GFs was half Ukrainian and Half German -- strong like tractor. She outweighed me by about 75 pounds. We used to wrestle on the living room floor -- she would win.

TheGirlGetter9000 · 2020-07-24T21:15:33+00:00

If a woman is as strong as you, as a man, it says a lot more about you than it does her. My LTR is pretty much the same height as me and maybe only 30 pounds less.

I'm not even in great shape right now and I can probably bench press 4x as much weight for 4x as many reps. (She doesn't bench, but we've done it as an experiment). Women are vastly, vastly weaker. A woman would have to be injecting roids to be as strong as me. Hit the gym lads.

goneaway2thewind · 2020-07-24T19:48:14+00:00

I find women that could strangle me to death hot NGL haha

FatChopSticks · 2020-07-24T21:32:09+00:00

All my girlfriends have either been my height or couple inches taller (I’m 5’6)

I’m also effeminate, and everywhere I go, everyone instantly thinks I’m gay, and all my girlfriends have been tall bisexual girls, or later came out as lesbians.

So I guess, if you’re a short guy, try go after bisexual girls, they don’t care as much about typical masculinity

my first girlfriend was also super into Kpop, and she was taller than me, maybe girls that are into girly guys also care less about height?

Matt_Door · 2020-07-24T21:59:15+00:00

I’m really attracted to strong women, go to example is Bridgette Nielsen from Red Sonja, those thighs...damn.

I’m sorry, what was the question?

Dan240z · 2020-07-24T19:21:51+00:00

The amount of participation rate of women doing powerlifting and other strength exercise don't move the needle in terms of dating or LTR so it's not something to be concerned about also if you're man is not working out you need to encouraging him no man should not work out exercise is very important especially as you get older has nothing about masculinity or femininity.

CosmicBioHazard · 2020-07-24T19:18:11+00:00

outside of visible muscle not being all that attractive to me, I haven't got any values-based aversions. Plus to be stronger than me wouldn't really require her to be visibly jacked to begin with, I don't think.

taller than me is fine, too. Trying to picture what that would look like; I'm one of the tallest people I know, at least in person.

LowCreddit · 2020-07-24T21:46:15+00:00

I do mind a lot. The bigger the better. Finding a woman bigger and taller than me is difficult for me. I did once date a woman who is 6'5". She was very scrawny though and it was due to a genetic disorder that effects the tendons IIRC. The woman I married is 5'11" though, so she is only 4 inches shorter than me and my height in heels. She is very feminine though so definitely not stronger than me.

As for confidence in winning a fight, I doubt it. Unless you have professional training, you aren't going to beat a man the same size in a fight. If you both have training, the man wins much harder. You severely underestimate how much women are designed for childbirth at the expense of other activities and how much men are designed for fighting.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2020-07-24T20:23:41+00:00

Usually a woman being bigger than me just means she's overweight, not strong. I'm 5'11, about 200lbs 'merican.

Would not date a body builder, or date a woman muscularly bigger than me. A woman who can just kick my ass b/c she can fight would be fine though. Pretty sure Ronda Rousey could stomp my ass pretty quickly, but I'd probably still wanna go down on her until she shook. Never actually met her, so IDK.

cuckspace · 2020-07-24T19:15:06+00:00

No, I don’t mind, but I would want her to dominate me in bed.

DesertSweat · 2020-07-25T00:24:15+00:00

While out of everyone I’ve dated, a women hasn’t come close to my strength. I’m no He-man, but I’m not weak. I’m average at 5’10, 190lbs.

I would have no issue with the ego part. However don’t like really muscular girls. I’d rather them softer.

I have dated taller girls, no issues there.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-07-25T04:28:43+00:00

I'd let a body building Amazon woman take me right now and make me her bitch, but then again I'm about 8 drinks in, so... HAPPY FRIDAY PPD!! WOOT WOOT! (does anybody even WOOT anymore!?)

theguytheguy1000 · 2020-07-24T21:34:26+00:00

that would be weird, no i wouldn't want a woman who could beat me up lol. that's retarded.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-07-24T20:35:01+00:00

What do you mean by "bigger?" Taller? Fatter? More muscular? I wouldn't care if she was bigger than me. Guys don't really care about a woman's height unless they're insecure (might be why some short women want tall guys), and as long as she wasn't terribly overweight or obese, some things can be managed. I'd actually like it if she was more muscular than I currently am right now, though. Muscular women are hot as long as they're not on PEDs, because then they start looking and sounding manly, which isn't hot. I wouldn't want a partner with "man-hands," a deep voice or a 3-inch clitoris.

The_FatGuy_Strangler · 2020-07-24T23:37:08+00:00

I’m between 5’5”-5’6” and about 130 lbs, but I’m pretty muscular/athletic for my size (I used to wrestle as a kid). My girlfriend is about an inch taller but is a good deal heavier than I am (she used to play softball and is thicker).

With that being said I easily overpower her without a lot of trouble, but I would think she should be stronger considering the weight disparity. But to answer the question, no it doesn’t bother me.

XtoDoubt · 2020-07-24T19:49:17+00:00

A woman who is bigger and stronger than me would be a complete freak. I think it would be fun for the novelty.

lemme_tell_you · 2020-07-24T19:50:07+00:00

Nah, i bet he can kick your butt still.

Boss123456789a · 2020-07-24T20:15:32+00:00

Well i m 6'3 and i haven t met a woman who was taler than me but there was that one girl which was the same hight as me who was pretty great. So to sum up while i prefer if the woman is smaller than me i would also be down if she s about the same hight as me. Can t say about taller tho.

Chaddamhusein · 2020-07-24T20:21:55+00:00

I might as well just date a man

KapteeniJ · 2020-07-24T21:23:16+00:00

Absolutely zero fucks given. But, being extremely tall, naturally quite buff dude, I don't think there are many women fitting that description, so I never really considered it a real possibility.

But just to keep me happy, you still should give jars to me to open. That's the only time when I want to be the Big Strong Man in the house.

TheRealConine · 2020-07-24T21:26:42+00:00

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. Sounds hot. I know a larger than average woman who dated a scrawny dude and they’d wrestle all the time.

If I got a hint that she regarded me overall negatively for it though (as with all things), then no go.

joeclark5 · 2020-07-25T02:08:44+00:00

I'm a small guy, just 150 lbs so many of the women I've dated have been a bit bigger than me. As long as she's not obese, I don't mind. I prefer the soft, curvy hourglass type, not the really fit and athletic type.

_-resonance-_ · 2020-07-25T03:53:54+00:00

I believe a man should train to be able to lift his woman comfortably. At the same time, I am attracted to the dominant mindset of OP.

ifosfacto · 2020-07-25T06:13:52+00:00

Even when I was skinny I couldn't imagine getting my ass kicked by any of my girlfriends. Pound for pound all men are going to be stronger. I laugh when I hear small build women say they wont date small build men, because they don't want a boyfriend that they can beat up....yeh sure. Likewise numerous petite build women insist on dating big guys because it makes them feel more feminine & safer. Those women could date any jockey and still wont have any issue with not looking girly next to their guy, nor would they have a any chance of dominating him.

I have no problem dating a women taller than me (if she is lean), how many tall women have a hang-up dating shorter guys, I don't know. Both sexes will tend to say the hang-up is with the other sex. When it comes to the women being heavier, well when I was skinny it was harder to date skinny women compared to when I bulked up and so most girlfriends (except Asian) were as heavy or slightly heavier and were typically avg female height . None were what I would call endomorph or strong or non-feminine, and the more a women leans to that the less I would feel comfortable, and from the inverse likewise lots (majority) of women hate that scenario.

I think you are more of an exception when it comes to women on this. I would not have any problem with a girlfriend that was into weight training, in fact that would be great. If she was built like an Eastern Block power lifter, then less so. I personally prefer a fit and capable (lean) women than some weak dainty thing, who does jack shit when it comes to physical effort.

Workaholiconew · 2020-07-24T21:26:04+00:00

People need to stop saying things are because 'they feel threatened or protected'

There is instinctual attraction,

Men like women of smaller stature and muscle mass because of instinct, the same way women like men of higher stature and higher muscle mass, regardless of their own size or musculature.

Case in point. Men and women having whatever preference is expected of their sex, regardless of their own physiology or culture.

Some, are born with genetic mutations to these genes and may lead to them having higher expressions of such preferences, a lack of those, or even an attraction to the opposite trait. But most are not, in fact, widespread. Think albino, not blond hair.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-07-24T21:38:48+00:00

Had a chance to date a big tall husky woman with a deep voice. She was hot for me.

Tried to get drunk enough to sleep with her.

No amount of booze seemed to work, but I kept trying.

I eventually got alcohol poisoning and passed out.

Sometimes alcohol is bad for you.

Sometimes alcohol is your friend.

My asshole friends thought the entire thing was hilarious.

They were the ones paying for the alcohol. Sickos.

Grave_Heresy · 2020-07-24T23:07:12+00:00

Men aren't women. We don't get hung up on size except in the extremes (400 lbrs or 6'8).

As far as physical ability goes

Most men dig boxers, cross fit athletes and mma fighters. Being able to secure a physically elite female speaks positively about our masculinity.

It's women who don't want to date smaller or non-physical guys.

saladfingers4141 · 2020-07-24T19:43:05+00:00

I’m 5’10 and 200lbs and powerlift and box as a hobbies so women who can kick my ass are pretty rare but yes I would find it emasculating if my GF was bigger, stronger or more physical than me.

I don’t feel emasculated by women taller than me but still wouldn’t date one.

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psypD · 2020-07-24T21:43:16+00:00

I wouldn't mind a slightly taller women (6') but they are rare enough that it never happened to me yet. In terms of muscular/sturdy I think it would become a problem since they would have to be pretty damn buff and I would think I am doing it with some tall gymbro or something. I like visible muscles but there is a threshold.

AidsVictim · 2020-07-24T21:48:10+00:00

I wouldn't care since I'm 6'2" and have been lifting weights for over a decade. If the woman is stronger than me she's some sort of Olympic level weightlifter and stronger than pretty much any guy you see on the street anyway. If I were a twig? It might bother me but I think I could get over it if it seemed like she was genuine and comfortable with the situation.

2020-07-24T21:50:25+00:00

i would enjoy that i would just assume they would either want a small dude or a really jacked dude. i'm 6 2 and well built/muscular but not jacked

AidsVictim · 2020-07-24T22:05:13+00:00

My first wife was basically my size, 5'9", 165#'s. She was truly big boned, broad shoulders (for a woman) and small boobs, the kind of boobs women are jealous of. Throughout our marriage, she never needed to wear a bra. She was stronger through the legs, but I was stronger upper body and generally more robust. It was fine.

My unicorn was 5'8". We once went to the symphony where she was wearing 6" heels and towered over me. It was awesome. Every head in the place turned, she was stunning. Far from being emasculated, I was the cock of the walk with that lovely thing on my arm.

Of course, if push came to shove I could have whooped her ass.

I've known too many short bodybuilders with hot girls taller than them to give any quarter to men who bitch about height.

Paranoidexboyfriend · 2020-07-24T22:20:37+00:00

I'm 6'0 235 bench 335 Squat about 500. If she's stronger than me, she's on some serious steroids. If she could somehow be thin and sexy with nice tits while doing it, then yeah i'll still find her hot. but in reality for a woman to be that strong she's going to have to be packing some giant unattactive muscles and probably have an enlarged clit and facial hair from all the roids.

If something happens and my normal hot wife got super strong from a genies wish or bitten by a radioactive spider, then yeah thatd be fucking awesome.

I_AMA_LOCKMART_SHILL · 2020-07-24T22:29:01+00:00

Bother me? Quite the opposite. I love strong women. Call me a simp, but if there's one thing that makes me weak in the knees, it's a woman who can hold her own and more.

TazeThemAll · 2020-07-24T22:34:42+00:00

I’ve met women 5-inches taller than me that I could press over my head. No, it does not bother me.

LeanLoner · 2020-07-24T22:37:54+00:00

In bed I wouldn't like it unless she was really submissive. Outside of that I'd love it, but I'd try to become strong too so we can be strong together 🙂. A couple with a 6'5" man AND woman would be kinda cool. Our kids would probably be like 7' feet tall or something lol.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-07-24T22:49:26+00:00

Don't female body builders get those odd "penis sized" clits?
Because it doesn't take much for me to start getting threatened here...

xx-Rain_Maker-xx · 2020-07-24T22:55:24+00:00

Lol. Strong for 28 male standards. This remind me of Rousey stating she could defeat any man. 28-33 is peak of men strength, and a man is 2.5 times stronger than a woman. Unless you look like the Hulk I'd put some doubt on your statement. On the other hand, if you know how to fight, that's a significant advantage, but it has little to do with strength.

mrmaskfawkes · 2020-07-24T23:04:42+00:00

Nupe to the title, but if they start talking smack I'm going to the gym. If I met a chick stronger than me that just means I need to go to the gym more. If I met a guy who beat me in chess, it means i need to do more puzzles and play more. If I get choked out by anyone on the mat, then you get my point. My inability to do something as good as another person is for me to grow or change not them. I've been attracted to women just as tall if not taller( I'm 6'2), but never dated one mainly because I wasn't their type for them. If she's stronger than me in a physical sense, I've never encountered that tbh except once, but she was HUGE! chick and frankly I wasn't surprised, then it it wouldn't matter as much as my ability to get along with them on a daily basis.

Now time to answer the rest of those questions.

Is it emasculating?

Kind of, only if he's or anyone is humiliated for it. It's not like you have a huge ego, but nobody wants to be the runt of the litter. Everyone's okay with being average or above, but most don't want to be at the bottom or feel like their lesser

Does it make you feel weak?

For me yes, but not more than if a man was stronger than me. It's a growing point not a place to sit an wallow in self doubt. You know what you have to work on, so if it matters to you move on and do the work needed to get better. If it doesn't, then nothing has changed.

Can it hurt your sexual attraction to a person?

If you're a douche about it yeah, same way if you bragged about having a doctorate and only wanting to date doctors. It's not likable to be arrogant or douche about that sort of thing, even if you are right no body wants to give a sore winner the point. Otherwise, not really a girl is a girl for most I don't think its a big discounter for most.

Could you ever be in a LTR with someone who could kick your ass in a fight?

Yes, any day of the week because being able to fight hasn't factored into being in an LTR since we wore armor and spoke shakespere. I will say I know some women see it as being strong to know how to fight, and frankly I get it. I like Martial arts because I like it and I think you should put effort into strength, but in terms of what it takes to being in an LTR that comes down to being able to communicate, be honest and loyal to one another. So If I'm in an LTR with a pro female MMA fighter and she could serve my ass on a platter it wouldn't matter as much as can I trust her or can we function as a couple in a lasting way.

Is it the MANS job to protect the WOMAN?

Generally yes, but if its not your dynamic who cares? Most women I've known expect that of a man or vice versa, but ultimately it comes down to your choices. If its an LTR and he'sup for that dynamic then that's between you two. It may not be PC to say but I know more women into men stronger or taller than them and that's not bad. What they want is up to them, so if you love your little weakling then that's your decision and his if he wants to stay.

Can these things hurt a woman's SMV/RMV?

I mean eh * shrugs*, some guys like tall girls, some guys like short girls, etc. Generally it can, but about as much as having dyed hair or bad teeth. Not a huge minus, but certainly not a deal breaker for a lot of guys. The only way I could see it hurting your SMV is if they weren't into taller girls, as for RMV I think it doesn't count for a plus or a minus it simply is.

RahLyt · 2020-07-24T23:06:55+00:00

Nope I would be scared of a 6'3 women who beat me in muay thai.

2020-07-24T23:14:06+00:00

I'd fine it absolutely hilarious if I got princess carried to the bedroom by a girl.

I prefer my partners to match me in terms of strength but it isn't a turn off. If they're stronger or bigger, personally I get the same feeling if they're smaller and weaker, except I can make jokes about them needing a chair to reach the top shelf instead them lifting me up to reach the top shelf.

Although I find it hard to trust new people, so I'm naturally wary of anyone who I couldn't defend myself against.

duffmanhb · 2020-07-24T23:31:14+00:00

Long as she's not super masculine. But it is a soft preference she's petite and feminine. It's just more sexually exciting to have someone you can actually pick up.

Caprock-1 · 2020-07-24T23:38:41+00:00

So you win the Royal Rumble. Big deal. If he’s not complaining, don’t worry about it.

retal1ator · 2020-07-24T23:51:21+00:00

I would be okay with being with a woman stronger than me, BUT considering women are weaker than men of the same size, she would need to be at least 6.2 feet tall and 200+ lbs to compete physically with me. I don't think a woman of that size would want to be with someone smaller than her. Not gonna happen.

exodvs · 2020-07-24T23:54:42+00:00

Not at all. I've dated women who were 6' and played rugby.

thasixohfour · 2020-07-24T23:57:46+00:00

I'm 6' tall and weigh about 175 lbs. I'm fit. Sexual dimorphism exists between the sexes. I'd say my cut off is about 150lbs at 5'7", and that weight would decrease by each inch of height as tallness decreased.

Jip_Jaap_Stam · 2020-07-25T00:03:47+00:00

I'm 6'3, 275lbs and weightlift four times a week, I've never met a woman bigger/as big and stronger than me. I doubt I'd find such a woman attractive, but if I did, I'd probably be a little perturbed by her physical superiority.

Tristan_D_C_Wintle · 2020-07-25T01:01:31+00:00

As a straight man, I think it would be really cool to have a lover who's bigger and stronger than me (I'm not very strong tbh). It isn't emasculating, but I'm pretty sure it would make me feel weak, but in a good way, in that I would feel safe and secure with her (and in that she could dominate me in bed XD). It wouldn't hurt my sexual attraction to her. I've never been in a long term relationship but I'm pretty sure I would enjoy it. It absolutely is NOT a man's job to protect the woman (unless both parties want it that way); everyone is primarily responsible for their own safety. I don't know how being bigger and stronger than some subset of men affects a woman's SMV/RMV, but I assume it could vary profoundly depending on how large the aforementioned subset of men is (also various men are going to have very different opinions on how large and strong a significant other should be relative to them, so to assess the aggregate seems nigh impossible). And your relationship seems very cute and wholesome tbh. Don't feel bad about yourself, I would consider myself very lucky to be in a relationship with a woman like you.

neckscarf · 2020-07-25T01:05:47+00:00

“Men” is so general. Some men couldn’t stand if his partner was bigger and stronger then him. Some wouldn’t care at all and for some it would make very horny.

autistsf · 2020-07-25T01:13:38+00:00

Unless you’re a competitive powerlifter I doubt you are as strong as you think you are. Even if you are a competitive lifter, it’s not going to really translate in a fight. This post seems like an excuse to brag about being a badass. For the record, I think it’s weird that you’re willing to date a man you think is a weakling and that you could easily beat up. It sounds like you might have a weird fetish.

Business-Welder · 2020-07-25T01:19:54+00:00

I personally don't. Actually I would appreciate a girl taller than me.

Then again, for any woman there are men who appreciate and perhaps fetishize her. This includes fat, ugly women, etc. There are all kinds of women selling sex, including big and muscular ones.

flyinghorse1 · 2020-07-25T01:26:54+00:00

I've never met a woman over 6ft (in the UK) but they do exist. I dont mind if they are heavier than me as I dont mind fat women. I know some women will be stronger than me as there are some competitive weight-lifters. I'm unattracted to muscly women so it would most likely be unlikely to be an option for me.

As for fighting - I would happily date and mma woman even if she could beat me. There are some female ufc fighters who are hot.

Ltrfsn · 2020-07-25T01:29:03+00:00

Sexualy it'll be a little bit of a problem because the dynamic I'm into will have to change but for a relationship it doesn't matter at all.

tropicsGold · 2020-07-25T01:51:13+00:00

Opposites attract, and the large woman small man pairing is not that unusual. Obviously the standard comfort zone is man larger than woman but I think that is more natural attraction rather than feeling emasculated. But then I’m a big guy so other guys might be more insecure in that regard.

the_calibre_cat · 2020-07-25T02:03:39+00:00

Is it emasculating? Does it make you feel weak? Can it hurt your sexual attraction to a person?

yes

Could you ever be in a LTR with someone who could kick your ass in a fight?

probably not, unless it was a close match - that's my ideal

Is it the MANS job to protect the WOMAN? Can these things hurt a woman's SMV/RMV?

yes

For some context I am the same height as; and very much physically stronger than him, he's a weakling but I love him anyway.

no disrespect intended but a.) you are an outlier, and b.) i don't know how it isn't emasculating to think of your SO posting, quote, "he's a weakling" to the world via social media.

I'll happily get his back in a physical altercation, any day of the week.

honestly might be better to get your ass beat than to have your woman swoop in and save you.

dirtyoldbastard77 · 2020-07-25T02:09:44+00:00

I've had some fantastic sex with girls weighing more than me (as well as some really boring sex with petite women), so hell no I dont give a fuck if shes heavier than me, but stronger than me... That would be weird.

redditSucksNow2020 · 2020-07-25T02:39:11+00:00

Professional MMA fighter here. A woman who's stronger than me? Unless Rhonda Rousey wants a date, I don't know if I'll ever be able to answer this question.

I do have a similar disqualification though. I won't date a woman who weighs more thank me. I cut down to 70kg for fights so that's my cut off line.

JVBrand · 2020-07-25T02:39:40+00:00

I’m in a relationship right now with someone who could probably kick my ass in a fight. But she’s shorter than me, and that’s what matters :)

2020-07-25T02:42:53+00:00

I’ve met strippers that have come close to matching me in pull ups but never had a lover taller 6’1 or stronger

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-07-25T02:58:25+00:00

[removed]

Dovahhkiin64 · 2020-07-25T03:01:31+00:00

I prefer tall women. I'm 6 foot 4 so she better at least be 5 foot 9.

Uesugi1989 · 2020-07-25T03:22:34+00:00

Taller I wouldn't mind I think (6ft1 here)

Stronger I highly doubt it is possible since I have been working out for over a decade and I am muscular and shredded as fuck, around 190lbs currently. She would have to be extremely roided and have a physique like a ms Olympia to come even close and at that point I probably wouldn't be attracted to her anyway

staypositivebrad · 2020-07-25T03:22:38+00:00

I'm 6'4", so if you're taller than me, we're both taller than most of the people who can make fun of us for it.

I'm 190 skinnyfat (probably 170ish if I wasn't a soda-fiend) so if you weigh more than me, hopefully it's in the right spots.

Stronger than you, doesn't bother me at all. It's usually who have problems with that, they need their men to be better than them to justify being with them, I don't care either way

daddysgotanew · 2020-07-25T03:26:10+00:00

I’m 6’2 and 180. Not a lot of chicks taller than me but I don’t mind tall ones. Probably 50 percent of them nowadays weigh as much as or more than me though so that’s a deal breaker. #nowhalezone

Notanalt4859384 · 2020-07-25T04:07:21+00:00

You are not stronger than him. He has no reason to demonstrate it, but even when much smaller, men are stronger, with denser bones and muscle fibers than women. You two are play acting.

Texan2116 · 2020-07-25T04:14:43+00:00

I suppose there are some variables to consider....I am 5'9 ' 180lbs...exercise daily. Could lose a few lbs....but all in all decent shape. Now if I dated a chick same size....who exercised and was physically superior...yeah...I can see it being an issue. Now I actually did date for a while, a chick who was as tall....yet obese....she was strong as it gets....yet due to her obesity, her smv, was pretty low. I never felt threatened, but I could see it in other dynamics for sure.

Binaural_Wave · 2020-07-25T04:23:34+00:00

Idk, it'd be kinda hot actually. The "unusual" factor is always a turn-on

WyldeCutter · 2020-07-25T04:25:19+00:00

Yes, strength is entirely a masculine trait. It is one of the baselines for attraction. A true man should have strength of the body, strength of the heart, and strength of the mind.

facts_not_emotions · 2020-07-25T04:30:52+00:00

Its highly unlikely that you are actually stronger than him. Unless you are extremely strong for a female and he is extremely weak for a male. There is hardly any overlap when it comes to physical strenght between men and women.

ImbeddedElite · 2020-07-25T04:36:53+00:00

I dated a woman my height before and surprisingly it made me more confident about the relationship. The fact that I could pull her (she wasn’t unattractive by any stretch of the imagination) over every guy that was taller than us, spoke something to my subconscious ego

BachelorofBabylon · 2020-07-25T04:42:55+00:00

Yeah I mind. I'm most attracted to the smallest women I've dated. My ltr is very small I'm a foot taller than her and twice her size. I've dated very tall women, and enjoyed it they were great girls, but I prefer them smaller. As small as possible before we get to dwarfism.

Aspanu24 · 2020-07-25T04:54:16+00:00

Bigger I wouldn’t mind (I’m 6’0) stronger I may not like that

keepturning1 · 2020-07-25T05:04:11+00:00

I think this raises an interesting question of what it is to be masculine. Does he have a deep voice? Does he have a large penis? Is he assertive in his convictions? These things could easily make him not “weak” just in a different sense and make him attractive in a different masculine way.

For a woman to be physically stronger than her partner though I’d say is rare, most guys are just naturally bigger and stronger than their female partners so he’s either pretty physically weak or you are very very strong for a woman. I personally wouldn’t be attracted to a woman who is stronger than me but that’s because to be so she’d have to not be my physical type since I like short women and being over 6 foot it’s rare any of them could overpower me.

uchihaitachi1237 · 2020-07-25T07:00:14+00:00

If she is stronger than me she is most probably roided up

richlad · 2020-07-25T07:38:40+00:00

Most men fantasize about fucking WWE wrestler kind of women.

So what are you talking? I have never met any man who wouldn't date a woman just because she is taller or stronger or more muscles than him.

Infact if a girl can lift a guy up and so blowjobs 6ft above ground - it's another kind of luxury to have that only few men on this planet can enjoy.

Moolg86 · 2020-07-25T08:07:46+00:00

Dunno why but I’ve always loved tall women. Long legs maybe. Idk. #giantkiller

ivy176 · 2020-07-25T09:44:05+00:00

I don't care if I'm bigger in some areas, but I don't want my man to be weaker than me. I'm pretty weak so he'd be really out of shape or super skinny. I prefer stocky/strong guys.

If my fiance puts on my clothes like if I dare him to put on one of my shirts or a dress, the top is tight as hell on him. Hes got a muscular chest from genetics and weights and I thought since I'm overweight and have boobs that our chests would be similar, but my stuff absolutely squashes him and he can't breathe properly. Then if I put on his pants, they're super tight and give me a wedgie, but I've got kinda skinny legs for an overweight person and he's got a round butt so again, I thought we'd be like a similar size 🤷

Animalcrossing4eva · 2020-07-25T09:52:20+00:00

Unless you’re a tranny you’re delusional. He is stronger than you and would win. Why don’t you wrestle or arm wrestle him and see? Especially that comment about being stronger than strong men. Lol. There is very little overlap in strength between the strongest women and the weakest men. But no woman is stronger than even an average man.

decoy88 · 2020-07-25T10:39:22+00:00

Do you mind if you're lover is bigger/same size and stronger than you?

No idea but I’m curious enough to try it. Could be hot.

Is it emasculating?

Nah, I don’t chase masculinity like many guys on this sub.

Does it make you feel weak?

I feel weak only if I am weak in comparison to the average. So this would be dependent on how strong she is in relation to average strength. Like of course I’m gonna feel weak if I can’t manage 5 press-ups. But if she can do 150 press-ups straight, no sweat I’m not gonna feel weak.

Can it hurt your sexual attraction to a person?

Doubt it. But never been in that position so hard to say.

Could you ever be in a LTR with someone who could kick your ass in a fight?

I could. But I’d want to learn how to fight better from them too.

Is it the MANS job to protect the WOMAN?

It’s a couple’s job to look out for and protect each other - There’s this really old clip of Beyonce rushing in to back Jay-Z when it looks like he’s in trouble. I couldn’t find it but it’s relevant here.

Can these things hurt a woman's SMV/RMV?

I would think so yes. Because ego and comfort directly affect attraction and arousal. Many men feel their ego threatened and the notion of being weaker than their woman.

For some context I am the same height as; and very much physically stronger than him, he's a weakling but I love him anyway. He doesn't really exercise or anything but I have been doing for easily a decade. If we fought I'm confident I'd win, extremely confident actually.

That’s hilarious

For the record I don't think he's less of a man or whatever, I'm strong for 28 year old women standards, also more than likely strong for 28 year old man standards. I'll happily get his back in a physical altercation, any day of the week.

See this is what I want. I keep encouraging my girl to get stronger. She has a banging body and frequently gets approached and harassed wherever she goes. I tell her she needs to be able to defend herself against the average man. Do you do martial arts?

Prismatic_Symphony · 2020-07-25T10:49:42+00:00

That's cool for you that you two are compatible! You're in a rare position to be stronger than your man.

As for your questions, you didn't quite specify what bigger means.

1) If you're talking fatter, well almost every woman I've dated has had a few pounds on me cause I'm on the slim side. I've dated chubby but not obese. Being overweight definitely hurts a woman's SMV for me, but I've had a crush on a fat girl or two who had cute faces and/or cool personalities, so maybe it doesn't hurt her potential RMV that much.

2) If you're talking in visible muscularity, there was one who got super into fitness and got somewhat buffer, but not to any freakish amount, and it didn't bother me. I was probably still stronger. If a partner WAS stronger than me I wouldn't mind. I don't mind a strong lady and it's cool to see one who makes an effort at her fitness. But I wouldn't want one who LOOKS super buff, like manly buff.

3) If you're talking height, I don't care. Half of my girlfriends have been taller than me, though only by an inch or so. As far as attraction, her shape matters but her height is almost irrelevant.

None of these make me feel emasculated. I'm me, no matter what my woman is. Why should her shape make me feel like less of a man? As for protection, I'd it's usually the man's job, but if the woman's stronger, then sure, let it be her job. But even when the man's stronger, the woman should (ideally) be fit enough to maybe help or run away if need be.

HectoSexual · 2020-07-25T12:34:22+00:00

I kinda love when my women is bigger than me.

It makes me feel way more masculine when I do dominate her. It’s keeping frame on hard mode.

xFallacyx69 · 2020-07-25T13:17:25+00:00

I prefer shirt girls but I’ve been attracted to taller women too. I’m a skinner dude, but being able to kick my ass doesn’t make me lose attraction for a woman.

wtknight · 2020-07-25T14:44:51+00:00

No. I doubt a woman who is stronger than me would be attracted to me, but if she were, I wouldn't care about it.

MrCusCus · 2020-07-25T15:45:21+00:00

Depends if he's beta or alpha and what you're looking for

bionix90 · 2020-07-25T16:27:27+00:00

Never cared if a woman is tall or short, as long as she's fit. Muscles never bothered me either. Death by Snu Snu and all that. I guess I'd prefer women close to my height, 5'10, but it's such a non factor I'm hesitant to even mention it.

Skin-Successful · 2020-07-25T18:49:59+00:00

I wouldn't date a woman taller than 5'6 or shorter than 5'2 , but that's just my preference. I think women generally care more but some don't.

MentleGentlemen098 · 2020-07-26T03:26:26+00:00

Fuck no. It's women who mostly mind that. Stop projecting your feelings. It's obvious that you do mind that about your bf and doesn't actually respect him.

Tell you what, do him a favour and break up with him. He deserves a girl who both loves and respects him

Jakes1967 · 2020-07-26T22:32:49+00:00

Used to date/FWB a female bodybuilder, ever though I'm no weakling, she was definitely stronger than me.

It was probably my best relationship, as there wasn't any of the masculine expectations BS women have. We got along great, unfortunately she started taking a variety of "supplements" and the mood swings, rage etc. became just too much.

Iron-Giant169 · 2020-07-27T13:58:00+00:00

If I can find a 6’5 chick I’d marry her for the NFL kids

VariationBusiness · 2020-07-24T19:48:21+00:00

At 6'5" / 220 yes I would be concerned if a woman was larger or stronger than me.

cloudydays84 · 2020-07-24T20:23:52+00:00

I'd say no to most of this, but take it with a grain of salt because I'm bi so most of what you mention is and has been a factor when dating men so I guess I just feel secure. So I guess I'll talk on specifically having a woman as a partner:

Is it emasculating?

Nope, I'm not the strongest and definitely not the biggest guy out there (5'8", 5'9 on my best day). I've gotten short jokes from partners but nothing I take to heart.

Does it make you feel weak?

Not at all, I'm confident in my strength and someone being stronger than me doesn't get to me.

Can it hurt your sexual attraction to a person?

When it comes to sexual attraction to people stronger than me... I'm more sexually attracted to them!.

Strong and rough people are a turn on for me, especially women, growing up my first girlfriend was a tomboy and I enjoyed having someone to do sporty and physical stuff with.

Call me beta or gay (which technically I am) or whatever but I also think it would be nice to have someone that could honestly pick me up or sweep me off my feet. Plus I don't mind being the little spoon

Could you ever be in a LTR with someone who could kick your ass in a fight?

In the immortal words of Spike Spiegel: I love the kind of woman that could kick my ass

I do martial arts so added points if my partner does so as well, I'd love for my close partner to also be my sparring partner.

Can these things hurt a woman's SMV/RMV?

I mean these thing can hurt women just as much as any attribute (being too tall or too short, too skinny or too fat, etc) can in the "marketplace" it's really all about preference and who you mesh with.

JesterMcGavin · 2020-07-24T20:24:33+00:00

I think that would be fucking rad actually, I'd probably be more inclined to date her.

Edit: Not talking about Arnolda Schwarzenegger either, not into someone who looks like they eat steroids with their corn flakes every morning.

SeemedGood · 2020-07-24T21:57:17+00:00

I’m short and muscular, think 7/8ths scale NFL running back (but taller and lighter than that actually would be). I am slightly taller than the average US woman and weigh slightly less. There are likely many women taller than me and most likely weigh more (because fat) but few will be stronger. Slim chance that any woman outside of professional fighters could beat me in a fight, because fighting is only partially about physical size.

I find women body builders strangely androgynous looking and sexually unattractive. As long as a woman looks feminine I don’t care a whit if she is bigger, “stronger,” or even a better fighter. But I do know that women tend to care.

My wife is about average height for a US woman and weighs significantly less, though she does weigh quite a bit more than she used to.

jax006 · 2020-07-25T00:37:48+00:00

"Bigger" is a sexual attraction thing that I can't really compromise, so no.

"Could beat me in a fight" though? Idk I would probably be okay with it. I would love to date Rhonda Rousey lol. Sure, she could beat my ass. When it comes down to it I could still stab/shoot her, so it doesn't feel immasculating particularly.

wekacuck · 2020-07-24T20:33:51+00:00

Yeah, I mind. It just seems wrong and unnatural.

akaean · 2020-07-24T19:40:35+00:00

Is it emasculating? No. Even if it is, I am sick of my masculinity being called into question and gatekept for any little nonconformity. You must be X strong or not man. You must like X things or not man. You must wear shorts X long or not man. You must sit X way or not man. You must know X about ABC or not man. Give me a break, I just want to live my life.

Does it make you feel weak? No.

Can it hurt your sexual attraction to a person? No.

Could you ever be in a LTR with someone who could kick your ass in a fight? Sure, but you know... can I kick someones ass isn't really a question I consider when choosing friends or significant others...

Is it the MANS job to protect the WOMAN? No, its a team effort. If you are in a relationship you have a mutual obligation to protect each other in whatever ways you can. Thinking it in terms of protector and protectee isn't right.

Can these things hurt a woman's SMV/RMV? Have I ever told you that I hate people trying to shoehorn sexuality into poorly understood economic theory? No? Well... I do.

People who tie worth to fighting ability are dumb, people who get into fights regularly have some serious problems and should probably seek help. Fighting is just not a good idea, especially in the street or another uncontrolled environment. You can be an MMO Whiz, and still get your ass kicked in a bar fight because you didn't notice the guys buddy behind you. So much shit can go wrong, and its not worth the risk of ending up with severely hurt, dead, or with a criminal record / serving prison time.

Fighting is dumb. There is no glory in bar brawling. If you are obsessed with "self defense" consider a concealed carry permit, but that doesn't require strength.

Rahim556 · 2020-07-24T19:40:15+00:00

Yes, I would absolutely mind. I should be taller than my girl, I should weigh more, be stronger, and be tougher than she is and fight better. This is how it should naturally be. If it wasn't like this, then I would probably lose attraction and so would she. One of my best qualities that women usually love about me is the fact that I'm a "tough guy," as women are attracted to men that are confident and capable, so one of my better qualities wouldn't even be an asset in said relationship.

Edit to answer some of your other questions: yes it's the man's job to protect the woman in my opinion, no I couldn't be with a girl that could kick my ass, yes I would lose attraction.

And wow, I'm surprised by a lot of answers here. So many men here are saying they don't mind, or "my girlfriend outweighed me by 100 pounds," or something similar... Wow... I wouldn't want my girl to "outweigh me by 100 pounds, " I want her to BE 100 pounds (total).... And she is. More power to everyone if that's what they like, I just couldn't do it or even imagine it.

John_Smith_2020 · 2020-07-24T23:35:00+00:00

I mean I'm not attracted to women so Idk about women, but I like it when guys are bigger and stronger than me. Any straight man who doesnt want a girlfriend who's bigger or stronger than him doesnt deserve a girlfriend.

juana_eat · 2020-07-25T00:11:34+00:00

I'm a woman and I do kinda care because health is pretty important to me. If a guy is weaker than me, it indicates to me that he neither exercises nor has a good first bc testosterone is insanely powerful. Before I was back into fitness, my bf was slightly shorter than me, super skinny, and notably weaker. That was no biggy, but once I started prioritizing my health again, it started really bothering me that he didn't. I always had a healthy diet, but out levels of health started rapidly changing as we entered our junior year, I began doing a lot of physical activity, and he continued to only spend free time on his phone. I would worry about him skipping lunch, only eating a poptart for dinner, and sleeping at the library. His lack of regard for his own health became something that stressed me out constantly, among other things. I'm not dating someone who mistreats their body again because I want them to care about themselves as much as I care about them.

InfidelCastro11 · 2020-07-24T19:56:28+00:00

Don't really care about height, shorter is a soft preference. Don't think I've met any woman stronger than me as I am now, the strength gap between the sexes is pretty big. It probably would bother me

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-07-24T21:12:05+00:00

No. But if she's fatter. ....

Title	Do you mind if you're lover is bigger/same size and stronger than you?
Author	Notanalt4859384
Upvotes	90
Comments	236
Date	July 24, 2020 7:04 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hx7uma/do_you_mind_if_youre_lover_is_biggersame_size_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-mind-if-youre-lover-is-biggersame-size-and.716842 https://theredarchive.com/post/716842