Intro:

Before we even begin, it’s worth asking a very simple question. Does game even exist or is it just all about looks, money, and status?

That’s the million dollar question that’s probably gone through every young man’s mind at some point in his early life, including you.

“Should I focus on cold approaching a lot of women and getting really good at having witty conversations and teasing?”

“Or should I spend all my time and energy getting to a 2 plate bench press and getting rich?”

If you have a decent level of awareness of what’s going on around you, then you probably already noticed that men who obsessively spam approach women – like pickup artists - don’t get laid as much as high value “naturals”.

As counterintuitive as it may seem, people who devote their entire lives to cold approaching and seducing women don’t get laid as much as that popular frat boy at college who was just being himself.

Why is that?

No other skill in the world seems to work like that. The “professional” always beats the amateur, let alone someone untrained…

So why is this skill so different? Why is the gap so big between high level naturals who are naturally good with women and “professional” seducers who hit on thousands of women a year?

Why does there seem to be almost no correlation between “hard work” and improvements in “skill” when it comes to women? I mean, you can always approach a hundred girls and get a lay, but does that really count as getting better at a skill or just playing a massive numbers game?

It’s because most game is based on PUA concepts that have long since been outdated.

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Body:

Let’s say you’re a below average, socially awkward guy in 2021. You either got your heart broken by some girl in your past or you’re still a virgin looking for his first lay.

You start doing research online and eventually stumble upon The Red Pill.

Great, time to go on a massive self-improvement program!

So there you are grinding away at the gym, grunting and straining as you try to squeeze out that last rep of bench press.

Once you get a decent amount of muscle, you decide that it’s time to approach.

10 approaches later and 7 girls tell you they have a boyfriend, maybe one girl hangs in the conversation with you and you get her number at the end, only to get flaked on when you ask her out.

What the fuck… you think to yourself. I’m doing all the right things! I’m working on myself! I’m brave enough to talk to girls? Why the fuck isn’t this working?

So you decide to do the only thing that makes sense: SPAM approach more girls… Read more about “Game Tactics” online. Read all about the latest and greatest Perfect Shit Test Buster 9000 Technique.

From there, one of 3 things happens:

  1. If you’re not mentally resilient, you’ll get Blackpilled immediately. Fuck this game shit. Game doesn’t work, you conclude. It’s all about looks. See? I worked hard on my appearance & game and still failed! Stop giving guys false hope! It’s all about bone structure!
  2. If you’re decent looking, you’ll eventually through sheer luck - using a pure numbers game strategy - find a girl you click with. From there, you may even make a post on here about how “REDPILL RLY WERKZ GUYZ, LOOK AT ME I GOT LAID” even though deep down in your heart of hearts, you know you just got lucky and you’re not actually good with women yet.
  3. You conclude that you don’t have enough value and start training harder at the gym, start looking into how to make more money… Going on endless self-improvement quests that don’t seem to yield any actual results with women… But hey, DEW IT FOAR YOARSELF! RITE?

So if SPAM approaching women isn’t a long term sustainable option, what is? How do you actually get better with women in the shortest amount of time?

What is the Pareto Principle of Game? What is the 20% that delivers 80% of results?

Old school Pickup tactics, conversational tactics, even most sales tactics are increasingly outdated in 2021. People are used to them.

"I’M ONLY GOING TO BE IN THE AREA TODAY, SO YOU HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION TO BUY NOW!" may have worked in the 1980’s or 1990’s but people are too exposed to that shit now.

“LET’S GO OUT FOR DRINKS. DOES FRIDAY AT 7PM OR SATURDAY AT 8PM WORK BETTER FOR YOU?”

\Gets Ghosted**

For the most part, any kind of “Game” that focuses on conversational techniques & tricks to get laid won’t work in 2021. I mean, you yourself probably wouldn’t fall for any of the lame ass shit you’re trying to do to these girls. So why do you assume they can’t see right through your tricks even though women have been training their entire lives to filter out unworthy men?

Yeah... Exactly.

So now the question becomes, how the hell do I succeed in 2021 when everything’s harder than it used to be?

The key thing to keep in mind is Modern Life is more hectic than ever. Everyone’s always busy, busy, busy. Attention spans are lower than ever before. This means that the vast majority of girls you meet in 2021 are already very well trained in the use of “mental shortcuts” to sort guys into different categories – boyfriend material, fuckboi material, betabux… in the span of 10 seconds or less.

Consider for a moment how YOU yourself decide if a person is Alpha. Chances are, since your attention span is so low, you use mental shortcuts to immediately make the decision after 10 seconds of talking to the guy. That’s right. In the first 10 seconds, you’ve already categorized him as alpha or beta and there’s very little he can say to change your mind.

What kind of mental shortcuts did you use?

First thing you noticed was his appearance. Was he fit? Tall? Well dressed?

Second thing you noticed was the way he sounded when he spoke. Did he have a loud, clear, smooth voice or a high pitched nerdy one?

Third thing you noticed was his body language and facial expressions. Did he look nervous, or did everything come off cool, calm, and collected?

And there you have it, as long as the guy is dressed well, in decent shape, has good tonality and body language, a girl in 2021 will use mental shortcuts to immediately sort him into the “fuckable” category. These mental shortcuts all rely on something called “Sub-communications”, or any way of communicating that doesn’t rely on what words you say.

And to be fair, it makes a lot of sense.

Sub-communications like voice tone and body language are a lot harder to fake than memorizing a few shit test busters.

That’s why the cool natural guy in college gets laid so much more than the trained pickup artist. Mr. Natural has a naturally cool vibe that draws people in. Meanwhile, most girls can see right through the pickup artist’s bullshit since his tone and body language aren’t congruent with the words he's saying.

So the 80/20 of Modern Game is as follows: Focus on Sub-Communication, not Communication.

Modern women have been trained by decades of advertising to see through gimmicky pickup lines.

They will, however, trust their feelings – which are largely based on sub communication.

It’s not what you say. It’s how you say it.

How you look and sound while you’re talking to a girl determines 80% of the outcome, not which words you actually use.

And since this is an 80/20 guide to game, let’s go in depth as to how a guy in 2021 should go about getting laid in the most efficient way possible.

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Looks

This is by far the most important component of modern game. Anyone can read an article on here and learn how to pass a shit test to fake being alpha but nobody can fake actually looking good when you meet someone.

Any effort spent maximizing looks is time well spent.

If you’re fat, you should notice immediate changes in the way women respond to you once you get down to a more normal weight. We’re not even talking shredded 12% bodyfat, we’re talking normal 18-20% bodyfat.

I’ve also noticed that having a pronounced V-Taper is extremely important. As important as your face.

I mean, I don’t know about you but every time I see a girl with a small waist and a big juicy ass, I just wanna fuck the shit out of her, even if she has an average face.

For guys, that upside down triangle shape from doing a shit ton of pullups, incline bench, and lateral shoulder raises will do wonders for your looks.

In terms of fashion and hairstyle, I think it’s different for every guy, but it’s 100% worth taking time to experiment until you find something that works for you.

Based on my experience, 80% of women you talk to should be willing to at least stay in conversation with you.

If you keep getting brushed off immediately after approaching or they tell you they have a boyfriend right away without even getting to know you, then your looks AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH.

If a girl reluctantly tells you she has a boyfriend after the two of you have had an actual conversation that’s completely different than if she tells you after 2 sentences that she has a boyfriend. One is attracted but taken, the other is just looking for an excuse to get your ugly ass to go away.

When 80% of women you meet are willing to have a conversation with you…

When occasionally, women will approach you to have a conversation or flirt with you in subtle ways…

Then you know you found the right fashion and hairstyle for your looks. Until then, keep trying new things. Who knows what works for you? It could be suits, it could be leather jackets, nobody fucking knows.

But it’s 100% worth experimenting with new shit until the vast majority of women are somewhat attracted to you right from the beginning. That’s when you’ll know you found the right look. Don’t worry if it takes a long time, it’s worth it. If you want some small hints to get started, I do know that most guys will look good with a fitted white shirt and a navy blazer. Looks good an any skin color and can be used in a variety of different outfits.

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Body Language

If you walk up to a girl all hunched over, with a neck leaning forward like a turtle, how do you think you look when you’re talking to the girl, even if you pass all her shit tests?

Like a fucking beta trying his best to pretend to be alpha. That’s what.

Your body language should naturally correct itself as you make more progress on your back exercises at the gym (deadlifts, pull-ups, barbell/machine rows)

But in case you need extra help, I highly recommend buying a posture corrector brace from Amazon. It’s super cheap and worth every penny, if only to show you what holding the correct posture actually feels like for your muscles.

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Tonality

Why is The Rock charismatic? Why did Donald Trump become president? Because of their tonality. That’s why. Both of them sound fucking alpha when they’re speaking. And if you sound confident in 2021, that’s enough to go farther than your wildest dreams, because not too many people have the time or attention span to really get to know you.

They all use mental shortcuts.

Everybody thinks they’re smart enough to see other peoples’ bullshit just by relying on gut feel.

That’s why you’re going to use this tendency to use mental shortcuts to your advantage by hacking the system.

Instead of focusing on what to say, you’re going to devote most of your energy to “how to say it”.

Record yourself on the phone and really listen to how you sound. If it doesn’t sound alpha, then not too many girls are going to want to fuck you, regardless of how many verbal conversational skills you learn.

You need to be as brutally harsh on yourself as possible. And even then, it’s often not enough because it’s hard to notice your own mistakes, especially since you’ve been making them your entire life. Don’t be afraid to reach out to socially skilled people for feedback.

Here are the most common tonality mistakes from what I’ve seen:

  1. Talking too Fast – Most guys already talk way too fast, even in regular conversation and when they talk to girls, the adrenaline makes them talk even faster. Trust me, there’s nothing more beta than trying to cram 100 words into a minute. It implies that you’re used to getting interrupted by guys around you all the time so you have to get your 2 cents in FAST before you get interrupted. The way to prevent this is to consciously focus on sloooooowing dooooown the next time you’re in a conversation with anyone.
  2. Talking too Quietly – Most guys, especially Asian guys tend to talk way too softly. If your Mom yelled at you too much growing up, you tend to develop a defense mechanism of talking in a soft voice. This just screams beta in every way. The solution is to consciously focus on talking 2X or even 3X louder than you normally do if you’re a particularly hard case. Remember, loudness does not come from the throat, it comes from the chest. If you’re doing it right, you should feel like your abs are getting a good workout after you speak. If not, you’re too quiet. Try again.
  3. Talking too Monotone – Remember, attention spans are lower than ever. If you sound boring, it doesn’t matter if you’re talking about the most exciting thing in the world, you’ll put people to sleep. Watch YouTube videos of your favorite actors and try to copy their tonality exactly if you’re naturally a monotone guy like this guy. Remember, The Rock can make the most boring topic in the world sound interesting just from his voice alone. Can you?
  4. Pronouncing things too Precisely, or not Precisely enough - Autistic people often pronounce things with perfect accuracy. Every. Single. Word. Is. Pronounced. Accurately. Just. Like. This. And it's extremely creepy. If that's you, learn to blend your words together more so you sound more natural. It's not Going To, it's gonna. It's not What Do You Think, it's Waddayouthink? Other people, often those who grew up in poor background, don't say words precisely enough. You can barely understand them when they talk to you, and it's not because of accents, it's because they're not pronouncing things accurately. To fix this, hold a pencil in between your teeth and practice reading books out loud with the pencil in between your teeth over and over again until you strengthen your speaking muscles in your jaw enough to pronounce shit correctly.
  5. Talking too Gamey – When the experienced guys tell you that you have to be outcome independent they mean that when you’re trying too hard to get a result, the girl can sense it. How can they sense it? You’ll sound too gamey. Think about what kind of salesman actually convinces you to buy in 2021. The guy who sounds like he’s trying to sell you something or the guy that sounds like he’s just having a normal conversation with you. If this is your problem (as it is with a lot of dark triad types with low empathy) take a step back and record yourself and see how you sound. If it sounds like you’re way too pushy and tryhard, try to relax more and repeat. I find meditating for 20 minutes usually cures this. You’ll know you nailed the tonality when you sound like a naturally confident guy, not a guy with an agenda.

These are the main ones I notice holding most guys back. Betas tend to talk too fast and too softly. Spergs tend to talk too monotone, and Dark Triads tend to talk too Gamey.

Spending just 30 minutes every day recording yourself and trying to nail the perfect naturally confident voice will do more for your game than spam approaching another 100 girls without making any adjustments, I can promise you that.

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Eye contact

This is an often neglected part of Sub-Communications that is just as important as everything above. If you have shifty eyes that dart all over the place, you will look nervous as fuck, even if you do everything else perfectly.

Eye contact is so powerful that there was a study done in a laboratory setting where scientists paired up strangers and had them stare into each other’s eyes without saying anything. Can you guess what happened? Some people fell in love just from the eye contact alone. Couples met and eventually got married from this experiment.

There’s two schools of thought. One is that you should focus on both eyes, the other is that you should focus on just one eye alone. Both will work, you just need to be focused on their eyes.

A trick I like to use is to imagine each eye as its own tiny World, with its own inhabitants. And as I look into their eyes, I try to see what the weather is like in that world. How are the inhabitants? Are they happy? Sad?

If you do it correctly, you’ll have the soul piercing level of eye contact that women get wet for.

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Mood

As you probably already figured out by yourself, you get far greater results with women when you’re in certain moods.

Anger is universal pussy repellant. If you find yourself in a super angry emotional state, don’t even bother going out until you feel good again. Go to the gym and use that anger in the gym instead. Much better use of time.

Some good looking guys can pull off the sad, brooding vibe. Yes, a depressed mood is not necessarily bad for attracting women if you have the looks to back it up. You’ll activate women’s maternal instincts. But, I emphasize again that this won’t work for you unless you’re super good looking.

The mood most guys should aim for is the happy, carefree vibe, as if you have all the money in the world, all the time in the world, and nothing to worry about. This is the mood that most hot young girls are attracted to.

If you want to learn how to change your mood, I wrote a post about how to instantly change your mood that I can’t link here because of the automoderator.

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Lessons Learned:

The next time you talk to girls, stop worrying so much about what you’re saying. You don’t have to come up with the perfect flirt or tease to get her interested.

Remember, if you don’t look good, you’re fucked. It won’t matter what you say. So keep lifting and keep changing up your fashion and hairstyle until you find something that works.

That will at least get your foot in the door.

Once they give you a shot, don’t blow it by sounding and acting beta in your subcommunications. Hone in on your voice and body language. Practice, practice, practice until you actually look and sound like an alpha male. It doesn’t matter how successful you are if you still have a beta vibe.

Oftentimes, guys will naturally have better more confident body language and a more authoritative voice when they’re in an environment that they’re comfortable in.

For example, let’s say you worked your way up to be president of your local college club. In that environment, you’ll tend to naturally have better sub-communications, and that’s why women were more attracted to you when you were in a leadership position.

The true beauty of sub-communications is that if you get good enough, you won’t even need to be in your comfort zone to sound alpha all the time.

You won’t have enough time to get proficient at everything. But no matter where you go, you can always take your new sub-communications with you so you at least don’t sound Beta when you’re out of your element.

Don’t follow modern pickup coaches either. Most of them use some form of RSD style “Natural” game which is based on “just being yourself” and raising your vibration levels. Way too wishy washy for most guys to take apart. Focus on concrete, actionable ways to improve, like talking louder or fixing your bad posture.

Because It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It.

And that’s the 80/20 of Modern Game. So keep all the tools from the sidebar in your arsenal – agree and amplify, dread game, etc, but make sure to pair it sub-communications training to really bring your results to the next level.