Why are most men never taught how to attract women?

GrandElemental · 2021-02-24T16:56:39+00:00

Few men are willing to openly admit that they are having dating/sex appeal problems. Being a low value male is HIGHLY stigmatized, and opening up for really painful problems such as these is not only extra difficult for men, but also leads to humiliation or other forms of social punishment and even worse status than what they already have, making things even worse.

analt223 · 2021-02-24T20:36:36+00:00

admitting your lack of ability to attract women honestly digs men deeper into the problem. A complaining man (especially complaining about not getting sex) is usually viewed as a boy, an blob of mass, or with actual anger and hostility by both other men and more importantly women.

When feminists say "we want men to open up", the main thing men want to open up about is the lack of sex in their lives, which is something that feminists then get quite angry or mocking towards, followed by a "nobody owes you anything" type speech

wtknight · 2021-02-24T16:33:56+00:00

My own family was more concerned about me doing well in school and getting a good job than teaching me how to attract girls for relationships or casual sex. I suppose if I had had a sexually successful older brother that he might have taught me something, but I didn’t have someone like that.

So yeah, I think that many parents are more concerned with their sons being financial successes than being successful with women. Some boys don’t have fathers that are in their lives to even give them an opportunity to learn this sort of thing, either.

King8Kaista · 2021-02-24T23:24:35+00:00

Women want to keep you beta. Don’t get it twisted. They like betas, they just don’t respect them. Here are some examples how women are taught to attract men: From a very young age, girls are taught that their value is based on their looks, beauty & charm. Mom dresses her up and continually reinforces how pretty, cute and beautiful she is; she becomes a doll. Dad gives into his little girl as she learns quickly that the way to get what she wants is by appealing to his senses – by laughing, crying, smiling, hugging and praising; she awakens to her innate power over men. Women have extraordinary power and they can use it for good - to enhance a relationship or they can use it to hurt a man - even if it is indirect and out of complete disregard for his feelings.

DrPete_Venkman · 2021-02-24T18:05:12+00:00

Combination of people sweeping uncomfortable truths under the rug to make themselves look better and lazy parenting.

I have seen lots of men who are not very attractive, are broke and don't have any social status but still getting laid.

with attractive women? I doubt that very much indeed.

jayval90 · 2021-02-25T03:27:38+00:00

Because, in order for you to teach this, you have to tell men that they have intrinsic value that women want. However, doing this would undercut the "you go girl!" message that feminists have been pushing, not to mention undercut the simping for women that Hollywood and the porn industry makes billions off of every year.

It really is simple. Men, you have intrinsic value to offer women, by the simple virtue of you being a man. Once you behave like you do, and stop undercutting yourself, you can even start to build on that. That's all men need.

TLorrai · 2021-02-24T19:01:01+00:00

What do you mean? Men are taught all day long how to attract women. Be kind. Be respectful. Get to know her. Buy her gifts. Make her feel special. Make her feel comfortable. Take your time.... It just so happens that all of these things are how attract a girl to take advantage of you.

Society has no use in teaching boys to be sexually successful. It's all about making sure they're good worker drones so that one day they may work their lives away to care for their future ex-wife and kids (who may or may not be his). A big part of becoming a man is learning to do shit on your own. Going through the process of learning to be successful at anything really. Women don't even want men to be taught to be successful with them. They want a man who just gets it. Or someone who has the will to become better. It's why they hate The Red Pill. Because guys who have no business succeeding are "cheating" the system.

It always comes back to men are disposable unless we are useful. The men who are strong enough to figure it out on their own get to fuck. Everyone else copes. There's no urgent need to teach men how to get sex. Nature will figure it out eventually.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-02-24T17:05:41+00:00

Attracting women is not something that men are taught. It's something that we're supposed to learn by observation and trial and error.

If you don't learn, then you're going to have obvious and apparent trouble with women, and you'll probably be seen as a failure for not being able to attract any women.

Atlas__B__Shruggin · 2021-02-24T16:28:01+00:00

because other men see no reason to teach them

Mustbeaight · 2021-02-24T17:38:18+00:00

Lol I blame the dads.. most dads are either not around or are present in their kids lives(living in the same house) but have no clue themselves how to attract women..most of our dads are guys that got married in eras where women really had to marry them(without being necessarily attracted to them) or they just have very outdated advice... most dads are either absent or are just bluepilled guys with bad/outdated advice.. it’s rare to see dads actually have that man to man talks about dating and women with their sons while giving meaningful advice not the “respect and cherish all women like I did with your mom” outdated Bs that will make sure you remain a harmless nice guy..all they’re worried about is their son getting into STEM lol.. I can’t mention moms because a man cannot learn how to attract women from a woman..they will 100% mislead you into thinking that putting women on a pedestal will get you something.. that’s entirely the dads job. If dads actually did their jobs we wouldn’t be looking for guidance on a fucking Reddit forum.. i wish I had a dad with a semblance of a spine..but I’m not mad at him he could never teach me anything he didn’t learn.. for a lot of guys the TRP etc are the dad they never had...

4derp · 2021-02-25T02:15:35+00:00

Because all approaches towards women are sexual harassment now. Feminists have indoctrinated kids for years into "listening to women" and "believing" every story they have to tell, and most often you'll hear that men are rapists, need to be taught not to rape or harass and most of them just end up not bothering with the actual HUMAN approach and instead go for the old >first we get the money, then we get the power< art of attraction - if women come on to you, then you didn't harass them. This isn't the nature of MOST women though...

Pop psychology, modern academic schizophrenia inspired by various marx power examination philosophy puts the icing on the cake and now video games, alcohol, drugs and perpetual childhood seem like a better option than to be saddled with the stress of trying to be the perfect human being or risk losing your financial standing and sanity over the leverage of loss of contact with your children that the previous generation were made an example of. Divorce and domestic violence industry are the melting candles and the cake is now made of shit.

Senorita_Margaritaa · 2021-02-25T00:03:05+00:00

Because it was never important until now. Up until recently, women had to marry men for resources and to support a family. Women didn’t earn the same as men. Now, women are capable of earning money and providing for themselves. Since women are no longer financially motivated, men now have to offer more than just financial stability.

Dating has changed drastically from the time those sayings originated from.

nooblek · 2021-02-25T01:35:53+00:00

Imho its even worse that boys are fed a giant heap of misinformation instead. It similar for girls though they also get sold on a 'the one' fantasy and whatnot. But I guess for girls it easier to live with these wrong concepts since they are in the position of pacing and selecting advances which doesn't require them to be active much themselves.

Five_Decades · 2021-02-25T01:52:01+00:00

The stuff most men are taught isn't true, its stuff like 'women value personality most of all'.

Which is kind of applicable, but they only value your personality if you bring enough value to the SMP for them to see you as a sexual creature. Do you have enough good looks, status, height, parental attributes, career prospects, money, etc to hit their minimum bar to be seen as a potential mate? If not it doesn't matter what your personality is like.

I think its also that our society puts women on a pedestal and nobody wants to admit what women are really attracted to. People would rather believe women only care about kindness and how romantic a guy is. People don't want to admit women care about money and height as much as they do.

majani · 2021-02-24T22:16:17+00:00

[deleted]

Dodechaedron · 2021-02-24T21:32:13+00:00

There are men who are seductive without even trying while others struggle all their life. It's all about finding one's own way, imo. What "just be yourself" really means is develop your own style: assertive and bold or shy and mysterious it's what suits you. Just don't pretend to be James Bond or some sort of fictional / fake persona ...

mindsanitizer · 2021-02-25T03:44:28+00:00

Speaking frankly about what women are attracted too is kinda taboo. I've got a little nephew (15) and I told him to do pullups because chicks dig muscles. His mom heard about it (he was talking it over later with his dad and she overheard) and told me to stop giving her kid misogynistic advice!

Honestly I don't know why we can't just be honest about what women like. It's not a bad thing to be attracted to hot bodies.

SeemedGood · 2021-02-24T16:56:21+00:00

Because speaking about the true nature of women is verboten and will get you cancelled/banned/quarantined for being “misogynistic.”

Women don’t like to be confronted with their own behaviors that conflict with their conscious self-images so they use the power of sexual choice and shaming to suppress any truth which conflicts with their conscious self-images - and most of how their actual attraction cues work conflicts with their conscious self-images.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-02-24T18:18:20+00:00

I really think it's because boys are supposed to figure things out and learn on their own, to show that they have value. I think that's part of it.

Another part of it is that people know boys are naturally aggressive and assertive in trying to get with girls, so any "instruction" might be viewed as encouraging sexual aggression. At least that's what I later surmise as what was going on around me. "Don't tell boys all this stuff. You'll only encourage them. If anything you need to tell boys to stand down, be nice, don't be mean to the girls, don't push girls for sex, and ask for permission."

Currently, I think most men's fathers don't know how to attract women, so they aren't going to try to teach something they don't know about.

Sufficient-Ad-3586 · 2021-02-24T17:42:54+00:00

I grew up with all girls and my dad wasn’t around much.

All I was told was “be yourself” or “looks aren’t everything”

It took years of trial and error and advice from successful male friends to learn anything.

majani · 2021-02-24T17:19:38+00:00

Very few men get their partners using alpha traits as their selling point. Most men got their wives through being financially attractive or waiting in the friendzone for months for an opportunity. So they teach their sons to work hard (aka become financially attractive) and be yourself (aka wait in the friendzone) and you'll find someone.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-02-24T16:39:56+00:00

Cuz it’s not a cutesy romcom if the female lead leaves her gift-draping husband to go give blowjobs at 2AM to the guy who sells drugs to high schoolers

Same reason FRIENDS is successful despite the fact that no chance in hell are people with those jobs living in such nice apartments in NYC...

Deucesongz · 2021-02-24T17:13:28+00:00

It’s more that men are lied to by women about what makes men attractive. Even now, you will see so many women on other dating subs and even here, say that looks, money, status doesn’t matter and it’s only about personality. Whereas men will be more straightforward with women in what they find attractive.

Women will say they don’t like men who show off their money. Women will say they don’t like men who use steroids. Women will say they don’t care about a mans job (although this one is more common for women to say it matters). Women will say they don’t like aggressive men.

The reason you see what you’re saying is twofold. If you are an extreme in one of these categories, it can make up for being weaker in others. Maybe the uglier guy had extremely higher status (ex. Local band member) The second is the 80/20 rule. The 20% of men are getting 80% of “sex/women”, but that also means around (the bottom) 80% of men are getting 20% of sex. So, yes sometimes you will see that bottom 80% man get laid.

redditthrowaway1478 · 2021-02-24T18:33:31+00:00

Because (openly) helping men become sexually successful is seen as immoral.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4i24at/cmv_the_anger_phase_isnt_about_being_betafied_its/d2uiab2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

Any advantage men can get in the dating game is seen as immoral, which is why TRP says "Sexual strategy is amoral", that could also be the reason why they just get stupid advice. Idealism has no place in the discussion about sexual strategy, you need cold pragmatism to be successful. Most advice men get are useless feel good platitutes. I need help not sympathy! Experiencing sexual frustration while seeing others succeed is making you angry, especially if you think that you do the right thing (in that case following stupid social norms)

Christian_Kong · 2021-02-24T18:27:49+00:00

Women are taught since they are kids on how to attract men

Let's put this in context. Women are taught how to physically attract men, through various different aspects.

I think in a way this is a holdover from the old days. Attract a man with beauty. Man works hard and attracts a woman with resources. It doesn't really work that way anymore.

In addition to that women using their beauty to get things they want is to this day a very powerful tool. Something most men, no matter how they looksmax, simply cannot do.

2021-02-24T18:57:12+00:00

What you really mean to say is women learn to manipulate men but not vice versa.

A lot of female behaviour is manipulation (makeup, attempting to control via sex, shit tests, nagging and complaining) which I can understand started due to them being physically weaker.

This is why a lot of advice for men you will find boils down to manipulating women and their nature. Not so much how to be more attractive (as if women will approach these men).

In most cases it does not work for quality of matches but may work for quantity. You are not being yourself after all when you engage in activity that is uncharacteristic of you in order to attract people of the opposite sex.

Also, Men used to demonstrate value in other ways but we are transitioning into a birds of paradise type or peacock type society I guess... Surely that will work out great!

ronaldlrf · 2021-02-24T19:20:59+00:00

Genetic cannot he taught

JohnDoe721 · 2021-02-24T19:28:18+00:00

My parents told me to be myself and be nice.

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2021-02-24T19:31:22+00:00

My dad married his high school sweetheart, he didn't date around much in his teens/20s. Never had any brothers or sisters. Dating advice from my dad was do well in school and get a good career because women don't like losers. Because apparently God knows I can't attract a woman with looks or personality so betabuxxing was the only viable option.

Ben_Paul_ · 2021-02-24T22:50:19+00:00

Because it can't be taught, you're either born tall and good looking or not.

mydikishomofobik · 2021-02-24T18:10:50+00:00

Who has a vested interest in teaching men how to attract women?

Parents will tell their sons to just ignore girls and do well in school, get a good job then get married.

Mothers tell sons to just be nice to girls.

Feminists tell boys to respect women and never sexualize them and be asexual eunuchs or homosexuals until some postwall single mother is ready to settle down in her 40s.

Men see other men as competition so don't want to help them.

Women want most men to be beta backups and/or gay bff emotional tampons while they fuck a few alphas.

Basically nobody has much interest in helping men to get laid. If anything, in my experience, lots of people have become extremely butthurt and saltier than saline when I get laid.

XtoDoubt · 2021-02-24T17:14:50+00:00

Any man that needs to be taught how to attract women is automatically disqualified from women's list of arousing men. As we live in a gynocentric social order, this information must be relegated to niche corners of the internet.

daproest1 · 2021-02-24T18:29:50+00:00

Because the way to attract women isn’t “nice”.

QueenDivine · 2021-02-24T16:33:46+00:00

Because when it comes to men, they have two forms of being alpha. One is Biological. Meaning its something they are born with these alpha traits.
the second is Social Alpha, meaning they have the social status, monetary appeal, and fame that makes them person of status. Men tend to peak out on Biological side in their early 20s. But as that starts to decline, men tend to gain more monetary gains which increase their social alpha score.

Keep that above in mind, with the conditioning that men go through in terms of chivalry, they are raised to please ladies. But are also shown that these two templates of men are what gets women. This is why Men try strive to be fit and with deep pockets.

also keep in mind there is a social stigma in men using techniques to appeal to women. Its seen a predatory like behavior, despite the fact that we do the same thing to men.

LittyKitsune · 2021-02-24T17:51:46+00:00

The best teacher for learning to attract the opposite sex is real life experience. TV is entertainment, no one should be getting the bulk of their major life lessons from literal fiction. But that's kinda the point we're at unfortunately.

Prize-Thought-4205 · 2021-02-24T16:36:25+00:00

Never display neediness or desperation, always display confidence and outcome independence, focus on entertaining yourself, having fun for you first and the girl second. NEVER be afraid to escalate or try little touches on her, gage response. Learn to read emotions, body language well and don’t mistake her being shy or silent or responding weirdly to the touch to her not being dtf later that night or even 30 mins later. For men it’s just about being a guy who fucks and understanding it’s more mental game for attracting women while it’s physical game for attracting men. Number one mistake i see younger guys under 25 making is moving way too fast in speaking and body movement.

Mustbeaight · 2021-02-24T16:33:49+00:00

Most fathers of zoomers to millenials are betas, they could have been married because OLD wasn't as common.

In few years further, i believe, there will be less beta genes in gene pool since most women are going to be chad-breed.

sorebum405 · 2021-02-24T18:57:54+00:00

It's not really that men are not taught how to attract women it's just that women desire men far less than the other way around.

Men have to put more effort into attracting the opposite sex because there less desirable.I think alot of guys on the sub know this, but aren't really willing to accept it.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-02-24T22:44:59+00:00

I mean due to the single parent household rates these days with a lot of people I don't know but us men with Father's or at the very least strong male figures in the community have always had been given at least base level advice on how to deal with and attract women

ecstatictruth23 · 2021-02-24T22:58:03+00:00

10 or 15 years ago if you were a really desperate and clueless young man you could look things up on the internet and then often you'd find things like Roosh V and then you'd have to grapple with the fact that the guy had some good advice but also was a narcissistic nihilist and probably a rapist, so I'm sure that was super healthy and definitely a sign of a functional sexual culture.

hesipullupjimbo445 · 2021-02-24T23:40:43+00:00

There’s no sure proof way since most guys are average looking. Any advice/teaching is just a guide on how to make up for your lack of looks.

Nodeal_reddit · 2021-02-25T01:26:22+00:00

Pop culture loves to make men, especially fathers, the bumbling goons that everyone can laugh at. Al Bundy, Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, etc, etc.

RedditMadeMeReddit · 2021-02-25T02:52:57+00:00

Pretty sure that most men take what they can get; also sure most women want men who have good hygiene. These things are not common sense anymore, and I can’t fathom why!

armentho · 2021-02-25T04:20:18+00:00

you dont train to be loved

no one takes a 6 month course on how to be attractive,you dont take a 3 months course on how to learn to say hello to a girl without getting an akward boner,you dont plan for social interactions as a sort of template you can control every variable

you either learn through a combination of trials/testing and luck,or you dont have it and have to rely on finding someone with a soft spot for akward guys by random chance

steket · 2021-02-25T06:11:36+00:00

I've followed this guy on Youtube called Michael Nova Dating Channel. I think he gives some really great advice based on todays society but also individually on how to attract the perfect woman for you.

I'm not here to promote, but I think his logic is pretty fair as some things he says applies to women (me) as well. I've never had problems with getting a partner and can see why in the videos.

michael nova dating channel

hudibrastic · 2021-02-25T07:10:56+00:00

Haven’t you get the memo? It is now sexist to give men advice on how to attract women

mr_sandmam · 2021-02-25T10:54:31+00:00

It's kinda economically beneficial that men are clueless about how to attract women. Career focused men are essential for the economy. And I know, population growth is also important, but unlike women, you just need a small percentage of men to do that job. I think the reason is kinda darker. Our societies work (and have always worked) so that only the minority of good genes get passed on. Many men are just not supposed to learn about that.

Thinkingard · 2021-02-25T22:35:43+00:00

I thought the original question was why most men are never taught how to seduce women? I liked that question better but everyone addressed it with attraction. To me, they are different things. Attraction is the initial ice-breaker, seduction takes things to the next level. I didn't read a single comment addressing men's lack of seductive technique. A lot of Chads may be able to initially attract a woman, but can he seduce her or does she just throw herself at him and he does no work? I think this is a big reason why RP and game threads talk about kino, push/pull, negging, and such because, for a beta male, he is, by definition, unattractive and so he needs to know how to seduce. Game is about seducing because the seducer lacks strong enough attractiveness. It's why natural alphas can't teach game worth shit, because they don't need to know how to seduce and so never learn. It's why Owen from RSD was so popular, part of his pitch was that he was a short ugly ginger and he was getting women all the time.

Guys just don't know how to be sexy. Guys can't dance like Magic Mike. Think of the different outfits MM would have and how he would make them sexy and manly, think of firemen calendars, or men on the front of romance novels. Most men seem like a different race of people from those other men. Guys just do not get it, can't be taught it, they will remain awkward and badly educated on what drives women's sexuality. A lot of marriages fail because the guy can't keep her interested and never knew how to be sexual.

2021-02-24T17:29:47+00:00

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heywoodsr · 2021-02-24T22:46:33+00:00

I WILL GIVE THE ONLY HONEST ANSWER HERE. Simple . It is that if you teach a boy WHAT WOMEN WANT FROM A MAN ,he will become an abused pussy that women will walk all over while these guys are young. Women may swear all day that they want to be treated a certain way BUT,Women don’t REALLY want nice boys when they are younger. They want action, wildness and adventure. A teen female given the choice between a tough gangster guy on a motorcycle or a pussy with a bunch of daisies at her door will choose the gangster. I taught my boys to respect women and never lay hands on them but to not kiss their asses and run around doing crap for them. Most women don’t deserve that chivalry crap. Instead ,focus on themselves . Work out .Lots of muscles ,tight shirts,leather and sharp haircuts And ,believe it or not they have women beating their doors down. Growing up ,I had (still have) good looks. But I learned chivalry and to place women on a pedestal and was overlooked by many women when meeting them at parties etc.. . Women ,although they claim to want to be treated like princesses, don’t really want that

GrandRub · 2021-02-24T23:05:02+00:00

a woman doesnt have to be taugth to attract man ... shower, dress well and look nice. bingo. tons of men are attracted... women need to learn how to filter men... and apparently... a lot of them cant do that either... just like many men cant attract woman.

Cobra_x30 · 2021-02-24T18:37:43+00:00

Men ARE taught how to attract women. It permeates most of our culture. The problem is that it's all blue pill and highly misleading or dishonest.

If you actually listen to what feminists say they want in a man, and then look at what actually attracts them... it doesn't match up.

PoliticsIsBroken · 2021-02-24T17:34:44+00:00

I have seen unattractive men getting laid

With attractive women? No, u haven't. Unattractive men sleep with even more unattractive women. Unless they have...u guessed it, status/wealth. Any cases of this are guaranteed statistical anomalies in any modern country.

All they are taught is that women like money and they have to beg for their love

Again wrong. We are taught to be kind, be a gentleman, and court women we really like (I suppose u interpret this as begging). Recently though, large swaths of men have realized all of that doesn't matter if you're ugly, and women are much more shallow on average than men these days.

If women don't care about money, why do so few date guys with a higher net worth than them?

Same old bs that women like status and good looking men

They do. U cannot argue otherwise.

This entire post is you just calling things commonly known and observed bs and then spewing actual bs that is easily debunkable.

FatGirlsInPartyHats · 2021-02-25T00:05:40+00:00

Because the women in your life don't want you fucking around and either the men in your life already are and don't care if you do or aren't and are just as lost as you.

KAT_85 · 2021-02-25T02:43:32+00:00

I think social skills have taken a nosedive in the past couple decades. I'm 36 and even I notice that people younger than me have a hard time just... interacting for lack of a better word. It's almost like they're afraid of making eye contact, generally engaging in small talk/banter. I'm an introvert and I cringe initially at smalltalk as much as the next person, but there's really no other way to break the ice, so to speak. A stranger is just a friend you haven't gotten to know yet.

So, yeah, maybe we need to teach people better face to face social skills. Encourage kids to actually play in unstructured groups more than signing them up for thousands of activities. I'm no expert, but that might translate into better ability to attract a partner later in life.

DandyDoge5 · 2021-02-25T03:14:04+00:00

Yeah from my perspective, men are almost taught and depicted that in order to even attain a women, let a lone an attractive one, you need to have money and or status.

Personally I think those things will win over any women, but if you are an ass then that woman will see through it. Even if it's asinine amounts of money.

Now attracting a woman I think is overcomplicated by so many men because of money. If you are a good guy, you have some direction, any woman would like to be with you, and looks help, but if you spruce yourself up, it makes a MASSIVE difference. The problem is that money is a factor not only in generally attracting women, but in being able to fix yourself up as well, hence why I see a lot of guys complain "why can't you like me for me." Now if you can spruce yourself up at least a little, you should try to, you know, put a little effort into yourself. Esepcially if you have money.. Otherwise, how do you expect women to be attracted to you when you don't look attractive to women.

If a woman doesn't like a stray hair or something that's her problem but if you look like you've gone to a party while trying to cut your hair with fire, while smelling like burnt hair and shit, with overly stained sweat pants and tank top, and you still expect someone to wanna be around you, then you should really work on yourself, whether it's fir a woman or just yourself.

It's not hard to attract women really. And I say that being 4'11" and not even trying for a relationship.

Reyeactable · 2021-02-25T03:46:01+00:00

I have seen lots of men who are not very attractive, are broke and don't have any social status and still get laid

And I bet there are thousand times more that fit that description and don't get laid

Looks and status are pretty much necessary to get a relationship, so it's most useful to teach a man to produce worth than to flirt, because flirting is useless if no woman is attracted to you

SilentLurker666 · 2021-02-25T04:42:13+00:00

Both genders were never taught how to attract the opposite gender.

The problem is only more obvioud for male because they are the ones who are required to chase.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-02-25T04:54:11+00:00

Men are being raised by single women.

red-tea-rex · 2021-02-25T07:17:30+00:00

Simple: lack of strong male role models. Women raise most boys. Masculinity is viewed as toxic or threatening or dangerous. Men who had masculine dads who taught them to be strong masculine men have women problems too, they just have fewer problems attracting women.

RedCoquette · 2021-02-26T05:44:46+00:00

I think its because men have been shamed into thinking their sexuality is inherently predatory and/or toxic. So we preemptively disregard advice that directly addresses male sexual strategy as misogynistic. What's left is advice from self-interested women, and blue pill "nice guys." Neither or which are helpful.

Women will tell us to engage in simpy comfort inducing behaviors (ex: be my friend first), and also something something "be yourself." Basically they want free attention and validation from men without having to put out. It would be like men telling women that the best way to get our commitment is to put out on the first date. Guys who follow this advice end up being friend zoned the vast majority of the time. That's the origin story of most single red pillers.

Nice guys follow suit because guys are masters at lying to themselves about what women want, and no one more so than them. So they give men the same advice, full of covert contracts. Wash the dishes and you'll fix your dead bedroom. Get her flowers and put on a grand show of your affection, and she'll swoon for you. Be yourself and pay zero attention to your perfectly legitimate sexual needs. Sooner or later you'll find the right person.

Put these things together and it's a wonder any domesticated guy has sex more than once a month.

just_a_place · 2021-02-26T09:00:36+00:00

Who do you imagine would be doing the teaching?

Why does this happen? Because there is no demand for it.

It is extremely easy to attract men, all a woman has to do is just exist. Now how do we as men attract women? Even women don't know! So how can we possibly be taught something that the teacher herself doesn't know?

Kinniku_Montaro77 · 2021-02-24T21:42:21+00:00

Go out and learn the world not everything has to be spoon fed to you

passepar2t · 2021-02-24T16:59:20+00:00

Because you gotsta learns on your own.

SaBahRub · 2021-02-24T20:47:42+00:00

Because women aren’t “taught” either. Why should you guys be given special treatment?

My parents didn’t have to tell me that men like tits and ass, because I had eyes and ears

No one had to tell me how to get my own tits and ass, because I had eyes and ears

And no one had to tell me that even with tits and ass, you can’t always get what you want, because I had eyes and ears

I guess what I didn’t have was entitlement to a no-fail, guaranteed dating spoon feeding

2021-02-24T17:24:16+00:00

Funny you say that men aren't taught how to attract girls cuz most men are just taught how to respect girls.

RubberAndSteel · 2021-02-24T22:20:35+00:00

I really think that most women are attracted to "CONFIDENCE". And I don't mean fragile/fake confidence or pretending. But when someone are truly confident, and will laugh about petty, spilt milk, instead of obsessing over it/acting dominant/aggressive.

Pent up energy should be spent at the gym or some hobby, don't show aggression around women especially, cuz it will be seen as toxic, and people will pull away from you. And you'll be left with your finger up your ass.

il_nascosto · 2021-02-24T23:07:01+00:00

Listen, young men. To get chicks, you need skills. Bowhunting skills, nunchuck skills. Video games don't count. Play football or learn guitar. Chicks dig that shit.

Catabisis · 2021-02-25T00:03:30+00:00

Men don’t have to learn those skills . We are the patriarchy. We choose

crungkle · 2021-02-25T02:26:50+00:00

Lack of fathers or masculine role models

SowClips · 2021-02-24T16:32:54+00:00

Tv always shows men being needy or offering money to earn women's attention. A lot of the times both at the same time.

You must have not watched a lot media aimed at female audiences if this is your experience.

LeatherDifference583 · 2021-02-24T17:10:51+00:00

Do people give women advice either? I've only ever seen women exchange beauty tips and self love stuff.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-02-24T19:31:29+00:00

Women have only been able to live comfortably single since about the 1970s. This is why we’re taught how to attract men. If the stakes were that high for men just 50 years ago, they’d be taught too.

In my experience, a lot of the problem isn’t that it’s so mysterious how to be attractive to women, it’s that men don’t want to make the effort. So many won’t even keep clean, manage their weight, or have a give-and-take conversation. They’d rather be mad that women want more attractive men. The idea of women having preferences offends them despite the fact they don’t want an unattractive woman.

Barneysparky · 2021-02-24T16:37:37+00:00

Boys who have spent good time around siblings, cousins, chosen family do not have a problem with communication that hinders their dating life. They can have other problems, like they say niche jokes no one gets, but how to be around woman isn't their problem.

If you've never had a real conversation with a girl, shared time with them how are you going to know how to act when you have the added pressure of a date?

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Danger3214 · 2021-02-25T00:51:47+00:00

By taught do you mean for casual sex or a relationship?

Pillmaxx · 2021-02-25T01:43:33+00:00

"why are most men never taught how to be 6'+ and have harmonious facial features?"

"why are most physically unattractive men never taught how be seen as 'most oblivious and sycophantic'?"

anonymouscausefuckU · 2021-02-25T02:03:03+00:00

It’s because most of the ways that men can learn to attract women are very controversial. As soon as women hear them they immediately will disagree and often feel offended by the implications of men being “conquerors” and women needing to be “conquered”. There are even social circles within certain feminist communities that consider this very concept to effectively be on the “spectrum” of rape.

boomershack · 2021-02-25T05:03:55+00:00

This question makes zero sense.

Flintblood · 2021-02-25T05:04:26+00:00

I’ve seen that too. It’s almost like some women don’t realize when they have the animal attraction for a very masculine male. Some women figure it out and that’s why they make the distinction between a cute or beautiful guy or a handsome guy.

jasonology09 · 2021-02-25T05:31:51+00:00

There's no way to teach men how to attract women, because all women are different and have different things that make them attracted to men. The only universal attractors of women are wealth, fame, and/or status. Whereas for women the only thing you have to do to attract men is to not be ugly. As long as you're pretty, men will find you attractive. Maybe not always the kind of men you want, but if you're good looking, men will make it known they are attracted to you. We don't really care about your job, your wealth, your values, etc. until later on in the process, and sometimes with certain types of men, never.

You're right, there are plenty of not-rich men, who aren't high status who still have success with women. You see them out in the world everyday. But for every girl that's attracted to those men, there are plenty who wouldn't give them a second look. Whereas for men, a pretty girl, is a pretty girl, and we're all attracted to good looking women. Now would we date them, have long-term relationships with them, etc.? That depends on other factors like personality, common interest, compatibility, etc. But we are already physically and sexually attracted to a beautiful woman without knowing anything else about her other than her appearance.

gamedori3 · 2021-02-25T06:56:58+00:00

A big part of attracting women is social status. A big part of social status is fashion signals which change over time, are contextual, and are deliberately hard to fake. So parents teach their children to do things like "be a nice guy," and "have a stable job." This is actually great advice for already attractive guys dating in a small close-knit social circle like a small town or a church, but it's terrible advice for young, penniless men in large atomized communities like cities or suburbs.

Hot_Connection_189 · 2021-02-25T12:57:39+00:00

I think it really has to do with way women and men are socialized and sexual culture in almost all societies, female sexuality is always something that threated stability of religious institutions, institute of family and moral roles imposed on people by parents and hence society in general.

Also the i think the idea of "attracting women" is so unscientific. Attraction happens naturally.

If society didn't shame women i think they can be as sexually explorative, lustful...even predatory as men...with the violence element subtracted of course.

ItsOverBoyosLDAR · 2021-02-25T13:49:08+00:00

How exactly do you teach men to have desirable genetics?

SmallishBiGuy · 2021-02-25T14:56:33+00:00

I don't believe that having set standards for desirability is the best way to go. Such as, I don't feel highly attracted to women in heels and makeup. I feel attracted to women without makeup and wearing flats. Bonus if they are crunchy granola hippies. So..... I don't like universal beauty standards for style. I suppose beauty standards for the naked body are more standard, though I prefer small breasts, large labia, pubic hair. Body fitness level attractiveness would be standard, yes.

What's the male version of that? Not dressing like a wealthy guy? Not being highly muscular, but being trim?

For something to be universally taught, it would end up having nearly universal standards. Kinda like how more conservative women dye their hair blonde. It's more universal on their side of the divide.

2021-02-25T15:04:51+00:00

I would digress. Everything we now do within our culture is designed to make the opposite sex as unattractive as possible.

Outside of sexual gratification society is becoming a place where men and women no longer need each other. And desire, wants or “tingles” at best are temporary sensations.

ILOVEJETTROOPER · 2021-02-25T17:35:09+00:00

Because most men don't know how to articulate it.

eveleaf · 2021-02-25T19:20:41+00:00

I was raised in a religious, upper middle-class home, and I was definitely not "taught" to attract men.

I was mostly "taught" behaviors that would benefit my parents: to work hard, not talk back, be respectful and clean, polite and educated. Everything that would make a kid easier to tolerate having around, and reflect well on my parents in our community.

If anything, I was "taught" NOT to attract men. Wanting attention from men or boys was considered low-class, and getting it considered downright dangerous. Popular music, TV and movies were off-limits. My friends were curated from families like our own.

I don't at all mind my lack of "attraction education." If I'd at all known how to attract men, I probably would have gotten myself in a bunch of trouble, because I was a lonely and unhappy kid.

In my adult life, I've had two long-term relationships (married twice) and I'm perfectly happy.

That is to say, I'm not sure differences in ready training are the culprit here. It's more the differences in demand. Men, on the whole are more thirsty than women. That creates a buyer's market where women (the buyers in this scenario) have an advantage.

That's not to say men wouldn't benefit from more training - they almost certainly would. But women's advantage isn't because they already have it - it's because they don't need it.

Frosty-Gate-8094 · 2021-02-26T10:32:37+00:00

Actually men are taught how to attract women... But it's a lie.

Men are told to.
'just be yourself'. ' be nice and sensitive towards her'.
'Help her in her needs'.
'Protect her, '.
'Give her gifts and spend money on her'

The problem is, these strategies do not work if the woman is not looking for a long term relationship.
That is 90-95% women in 16-25 years age.

These are the girls most young boys encounter first in their dating lives.

what works --- Being tall and muscular.
Having a lot of confidence. (Even overconfidence ).
Treating her mysteriously. (Not nicely).
Being direct about your sexual intentions and walk away if she says no.
Money...a lot of money.

If we tell the truth to boys about what works, you will have very few men who will persue long term relationships...

A lot of boys eventually do figure the fact out. That's why older women complain that there are no 'good men'...

oobertas · 2021-02-26T20:28:58+00:00

Is it that having most men be unattractive is beneficial to most women and the few attractive men who figure it out?

(BTW, my son's getting this lesson for sure.)

AidsVictim · 2021-02-27T23:01:15+00:00

Women are taught since they are kids on how to attract men (you can think of several examples of it) but men are almost never taught.

Modern young women are taught how to use makeup and dress in a sexually appealing way. That's about the extent of what they're taught and that's all they need to be successful with men. There isn't some complex socialization process women undergo to learn how to be appealing that men don't - they're appealing by default and get more social interaction as a matter of fact in most cases.

queen_beastmode · 2021-02-24T17:43:00+00:00

Why does this happen? Women are taught since they are kids on how to attract men (you can think of several examples of it) but men are almost never taught.

The least attractive thing about most men is their entitled behavior which they learn from being raised as precious boy babies. So most parents are actively teaching their male children to be extremely unattractive with their coddling.

basicbiddy · 2021-02-24T16:45:33+00:00

Most men don’t need the help and are able to deduce it for themselves.

TheSolarPillMod · 2021-02-24T23:17:46+00:00

Weak fathers created by a weak and self-destructive culture.

If you want to push back:

Have plenty of kids and raise them right. Pursue positions of power and use said power to influence. Create networks and create culture. Right now "the left" is winning the culture war (Hollywood, education, social media, news media), which create a feminine society.

MrJive01 · 2021-02-25T00:09:12+00:00

It can't be taught.

superlurkage · 2021-02-24T17:18:04+00:00

Lol. Tv is a fantasy showing young, hot adults with interesting lives being attracted to other young, hot adults with interesting lives, or we wouldn’t watch it

Other than maybe a makeup tutorial and a warning that dudes can rape or molest you, most women don’t get explicit instructions; we’re expect to pick models that we like on our own and emulate them

We’re just not going to want to fuck as much or as indiscriminately as men. Men aren’t doing anything wrong except expecting that

Novadina · 2021-02-24T17:23:08+00:00

Women are taught since they are kids on how to attract men (you can think of several examples of it)

Really? I can’t think of examples... Maybe my family was just weird, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t ever taught anything about this.

What is it that would even have to be taught to attract men anyway? Existing with boobs and being in men’s proximity seems to be enough.

I don’t think my brother was taught anything about attracting women, either, yet he’s kind of a man ho, so I guess he didn’t need it.

SafeWilling · 2021-02-24T18:26:56+00:00

Sometimes it can be a bad mother influence. My mother used to caudle me and protect me from anyone else. She insisted to do so many things for me, and to take care of conflicts for me at school. This created in me a deference to a female figure, so when it came time to dating, I had a lot of problems being assertive and taking the lead. This got better though once i moved out for college.

Protista_of_Peace · 2021-02-24T19:42:39+00:00

Parents are busy and letting kids isolate with their computers. I think especially boys emotional development is ignored. It needs to happen when kids are young. Help them develop a circle of friends, hobbies that get them out of the house and interacting with people. Help them find what they’re good at so it raises their self esteem. All this is just as important as knowing the logistics of how to ask a woman out.

Young women like to have fun. Not because they’re shallow but because they’re human. Really. When women see another women with an unattractive broke dude they assume he’s funny and has a good personality. Guys get it because they’re into self improvement but they don’t totally get it.

poppy_blu · 2021-02-24T22:57:36+00:00

Caveat: this is coming from a western lens.

Women are not taught to attract men. Women are taught to protect themselves from men with bad intentions and to sort through to find good men to settle down with. All women have to do to “attract” men is look good. That is not and has never been the problem.

Men in the past learned how to be successful women by getting some advice from fathers and male family members, but that advice was often just about what women like and how to approach women. Not how to become Chad 101z

Mostly they learned from their peers and observing what worked. Let me say that again. They learned tom their peers and observing what worked. this has become an impossibility for a generation of men who don’t socialize and live their lives inside and online.

The other issue is among this generation is they want to be passive and “attract” women — meaning they want women to come to them. Not gonna happen.

alwaysonalongtrip · 2021-02-24T22:57:58+00:00

As a woman i def wish my parents would have been more focused on telling me to get a good job and be financially independent than be beautiful and attract men. 😐

sickandsiiick · 2021-02-25T00:43:15+00:00

I understand the point of view, I think the media (makeup, magazines, clothing advertisements) does give girls ways to look their best and maybe occasional dating tips but my parents were mainly the ones telling me to slow down and not worry about looks because a ‘good partner’ wouldn’t care about that as much as personality and interests. Obviously as much as I don’t want to admit that image has as big of an impact on dating as it does I think that more outgoing males will have more success with relationships and casual partners

Alfredaux · 2021-02-25T01:14:38+00:00

Honestly, I don’t know what you’re talking about. What are women taught and what exactly do you think men should be taught?

Ok_Swim_2691 · 2021-02-25T03:23:17+00:00

Because if they try and it works, they become rapists, misogynists, insincere fuckboys and other mean words.

In the end they realize learning how to say the right things to get a girl to sleep with you after getting rejected hundreds of times practicing isn't worth it.

DownVotesWrongsOnly · 2021-02-25T04:16:52+00:00

It's almost like you're saying men are under educated. But there are sooooo many scholarship just for men, right? Society really, really cares about them!

801735 · 2021-02-24T17:04:17+00:00

Why are most men never taught how to attract women?

Oh, but we are. TRP ftw.

Title	Why are most men never taught how to attract women?
Author	Novatonavila
Upvotes	182
Comments	472
Date	February 24, 2021 4:23 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/lrgprk/why_are_most_men_never_taught_how_to_attract_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-most-men-never-taught-how-to-attract-women.745759 https://theredarchive.com/post/745759