As fucked up as this sounds, it seems to me that sex was easier for me to get when I was BP.
I had a specific end goal, which was to receive external validation from women. I had low confidence, poor self image, and needed women to validate me. I made women and my sexual relationships my mission in life. By making women laugh, from them showing interest in me, and ultimately through sex, it felt good to me when I made women feel good. And I had a lot of positive reinforcement from the experience.
And I was a sociopath on a mission. My entire interaction with women was a series a if-then behavior patterns. I soaked up all the Game info I could get my hands on. I had no problem opening and had a fairly high close rate. From the outside, it appeared as though I was having the sort of success with women that many other guys wanted to have.
But while I could open/close women relatively easily, the downside was that it came from a place of emotional neediness; and I was a total blue pill faggot when it came to relationships.
I found TRP almost two years ago, after the end of a 5 year LTR. I wanted to feel loved by the women in my life; and I expected TRP to be just another series of if-then game behavior patterns that would elicit that response from women.
But the lessons I've learned through the various materials discussed here have shown me a completely different perspective on ways of being. Not just new ways of acting or perform, but a complete difference in philosophy and how I viewed myself.
So I've spent the last two years refocusing my life. I began hitting the gym more seriously; I've made some aggressive moves with my career; and I've sought ways to resolve my emotional neediness, find my own sense of inherent value, and become more stoic. I've worked hard to find value from within myself, so that I don't search for that validation from others.
The boost in confidence and physical appearance has taken my sales game and career to a new level, which is awesome. But in a bizarre twist, I'm no longer motivated to open/close with women. I don't have an end game when it comes to women, and it's seriously affecting my sex life.
Instead of feeling like I used to feel, that is to say feeling needy with regard to the women in my life, I now feel like I don't need them in my life at all to feel fulfilled. As a consequence, I don't know what to do with women. I'm not talking "what to do with them" in terms of game. I'm saying that sex itself was not exactly an end goal for me, it was a means to an end; and that end was (well, what I believe was) to feel appreciated, needed, loved, etc.
Now that I'm not chasing those emotional components anymore, the concepts of game, the chase, and sex have lost their appeal. Don't get me wrong, I'm a gym-hitting man with healthy amounts of testosterone, so I definitely feel the urge to get my dick wet; but the actual experience now seems so hollow without that emotional component, hollow to the point where it's interfering with my desire to pursue sex.
What the fuck do I do? I need a new perspective. Conceptually, I still want to fuck women, but now each woman I see is just as uninteresting / unappealing as the last. I'm just not sufficiently motivated anymore, and it kinda pisses me off.
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