I've been doing and studying game for a while now ( more than 4 years+) and I haven't quite got the hang of it yet. I'm still working though at lot of internal bullshit.

I've come to the realization ( a friend helped me get here) that I don't believe what I am saying and doing when talking to women. I DON'T believe I'm the shit and I certainly don't believe I can get girls.

I'm not sure if it's because most of my reference experience is talking to the girl for 10 minutes and haveing her leave for whatever reason. ( bathroom or need to find friends or whatever) I do have so longer sets in there but i haven't had one in awhile.

I'm not sure if this is due to environmental factors, ( i'm jobless and live and home in what can only be described as a meth house. within this meth house I live in a room no bigger than a jail cell. I spend most of my time here because my dad smokes inside. luckily he works away 2 weeks at a time so I get some relief for his negative bullshit) Or is just my internal mindset telling me I'm not shit. ( i was bullied as a kid from an early age (Grade 6. didn't stop till I made it out of high school so my internal belief system is shot to pieces).

even when things are positive, I either dismiss it, or just ignore and see more of then negative side to what happened.

I don't know what to do with this problem, I have come to realize a lot of people don't like me because of this, convexly, on the other side of the coin. I have had some people in my group of friends tell me I'm a cool guy and they wonder why I'm still single. one has even gone as far to tell me she would have dated me ( had it not been for me smoking weed. I don't smoke anymore and only did it for a few short times in my life. I grew out of it pretty quickly. I haven't smoked in months)

when she said she would date me, I was really surprised. ( we are friends now so I'm not going to date her.) I never really thought anyone would say that about me.

is there anything I can do or read to change my mindset? I've had people tell " just get more reference exp." but it's not really working.

thanks Luke