Feel free to skip down to the question. There is some venting below.

Backstory:

23 years old. Male. Black. In East Africa.

Skinny fat. College dropout. Live with my parents. Work in the family business.

In Nov/Dec last year, I came from NoFap and found TRP.

Like most who find TRP, I've been ravenously consuming and applying these materials.

Sure, I may not be able to follow some of the suggestions here to the letter. And I'm seething underneath the surface because of it. But screw being a whiny bitch. I'm doing what can be done with what I've got. No excuses.

No access to a gym or pull-up bar? Quit being a whiny bitch. Bucket. Sand. Weight plates. Farmer's Walks. Rows. Good Mornings. Plate Twists. Goblet Squats. Overhead Press. No excuses.

Can't afford protein shakes? Quit being a whiny bitch. Boiled Eggs. Peanut Butter. No excuses.

Approach anxiety? No Tinder matches? Quit being a whiny bitch. I text random girls in WhatsApp groups. I reached out to girls I'd met via friends months ago. A couple days ago, I finally had the courage to cold approach a complete stranger. No excuses.

Etc etc.

If I had to list what I've been doing in these 2 months:

  • Wake up earlier (7:30AM)

  • Lift 3 times a week

  • Keto + Intermittent Fasting + Water Only

  • 400-600 Caloric Deficit (to stop being skinny fat)

  • Learning guitar

  • Texting & talking to more girls

  • Working on my ED

  • Working on my procrastination problem

  • Consulted my business mentor

  • Putting together a marketing plan for the family business

  • Injecting more passion and creativity in serving clients

  • Building better relationships with our family business's service providers

  • Reading sidebar books (Rational Male, Sex God Method, Book of Pook, Manipulated Man)

  • I've ordered some clothing accessories. Will buy new wardrobe when they arrive. Already planned it all out.

  • Reading TRP nearly daily. I make a thread on AskTRP as needed.

I'm doing everything that I can think of to improve. I'm brainstorming new ideas, revisiting old ones, and applying what I can as I go.

Story:

Here's what's pissing me off.

In these past 2 months, I've talked to and/or reached out to something like 20-25 girls. Yeah, that's not a lot.

Some of you guys talk to as many girls in a single night. And good for you. I want to get there. But after years of being blue pill a couch potato, you don't cold approach 20 women a night deadlift 500lbs without starting with one here and there sweating your way there in 5lb increments.

I've been flaked on, ignored, stood up, and outright rejected more times in 2 months than in the 23 years I've been alive before TRP.

I'm not mad that they did it. I'm mad that I'm putting in the work and haven't earned the SMV for them to NOT do it. And this is what sent me over the edge:

For the first time, I cold approached a girl on the side of the street a couple days ago. I number closed. Asked her out.

Me: When are you free

Her: Tomorrow

(The next day)

Me: Hey

Her: Hi

Me: XYZ. 7PM. A couple games of pool and drinks. Are you in?

Her: No

Me: Alright

Cue me feeling like a bitch

(30 minutes later)

Her: Sorry

Cue bitch feelings intensifying

But it's not like I haven't had a bit of success.

Some time back, I got my first plate. That broke in 4 days.

Shortly after, I got another plate. HB6 I've been seeing for about a month that is absolutely delightful. But as per the ONE OR NONE rule, I'm trying to get more.

Question: How do I calm the fuck down and be more patient with myself?

I want to put my fist through about... 16 walls right now.

I know things will be great if I keep this up for a year. But I need to learn how to manage these feelings and be more patient with myself before I become a quitter.

Any advice?