Alright, lets get something outta the way. I'm a blue pill bitch. Stuck with the idea in my head of living the in a movie romance. Never had any luck with women, before I figured it was because I'm not the best looking guy or anything, but now I realize it was my confidence.

Fast forward to about 6 months ago. I meet 2 guys 10 years my seniors, me being 22, who would eventually change my perspective. I've always been passive and with a lack of confidence. Definitely not getting any women that way. But these two guys, very slowly and surely shaped me up. For starters, they made semi-joking but mostly serious comments saying that I'm a "good looking lad and could slay if I wanted to." Second, one of them was ALWAYS spouting off about males being alpha and such. This one took me up until a week ago to fully realize.

Now, on to the actual part of the post. About two weeks ago, this new girl came to the workplace. Pretty cute, 6/10. (Was typing literally the entire story here, but decided against that.) Essentially, meet girl(who will thus be named Alex), invite out to bday last Sunday. Saturday we went out with co-workers to a dinner thing. Sunday just me and her had lunch, was actually more confident than I've ever been in such a situation, acting less like a beta. Sunday night, we go out with a bunch of people. I'd already gotten to know her a lot over lunch, so we chatted as much as we could. There was 2 guys with the group(1 my friend, 1 not really) that were really hitting on her, but they were both pretty beta. Like, both of them were on her sides the entire night. I acted casual, played the birthday boy, drank lots with everyone, and managed to slip in the occasional conversation with Alex, despite the two guys. Eventually we all go back. As an fyi, I'm military, we all live in the barracks. We're all in some persons room, they're all doing tequila shots, but I've never been much of a barracks party person. If you've never been in a barracks, just think of a college dorm.

So, she's still got thing 1 and 2 on her tail the entire night. Well, to make long story short, she found me without those 2, we had long, deep drunk conversations, and she cuddled and and fell asleep with me. Over the last week, chat her up a good amount via text, have some meals with friends and by ourselves. Have more long, deep conversations. Setup actual date for this weekend.

Finally yesterday and today. We're hanging out, me just being cool, casual, and feeling pretty alpha. We kiss, go to dinner, walk around, go have more deep conversation, go makeout, she tells me she had a fun night, sleep. Today, her texting felt odd, didn't really show the same enthusiasm as before. Ask her what's up, we go talk face to face, she tells me she wants to date, but what with being co-workers and her being new, its not a good idea. Tell her I understand completely, go home feeling like shit on the inside.

Eventually, I texted her that I'd like to continue hanging out as friends. As well as if she ever decided to change her mind, I would wait.

So, trp, I've had literally no dating experience all my life. Minuscule amounts of luck with women. With this recent experience, my confidence has been significantly boosted, despite ending circumstances and feeling some slight oneitis grief. So, you have the story and my background, have at it TRP.

tl;dr Tried to date new girl at workplace, got my in, she doesn't feel right dating co-workers/being new and dating.

Also, sorry about this being kind of a shit post. Will edit if necessary. Also realized I referred to her as Alex only once, but fuck it.