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Luckyluke23
[–][deleted] 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]Luckyluke23[S] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
its defiantly an inner game issue. its not that I am try to " share the spoils" so to speak.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I'm reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" right now and it discusses this issue at length. It's something that used to be a bigger problem with me but that I've gotten better and better with. The book is pretty great at blasting open some of your old pscyhological hangups.
[–]RedditBlueit 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Logged in to suggest this. Read this book!
[–]Luckyluke23[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
thanks for the tip. I will read this
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yep. I know all about this. I grew up with a controlling, critical and selfish father. My role at home was to please him. I grew up without having my needs attended to so i accepted i was just undeserving. This gets better.
As someone else said, read no more mr nice guy. Id also consider therapy, its a definite marker of very low self esteem.
Other than that keep in mind that its your life and nobodu else matters. Nobody.
[–]Luckyluke23[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i will read the book. but i cant afford shit right now. thanks for the tip
[–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It's a simple value problem. You don't value yourself and you have low self respect. If your friends don't let you win once in a while then they don't value you either. In your friends mind they see those girls and believed that they deserved to be the ones to be with them and in your mind you didn't believe that you deserved it.
[–]Luckyluke23[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
thanks, helps a lot. is there any way to change that negative thought
[–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
go through the suggested reading material on the side bar. There's a few books that might help you.
The problem is that you see it as a logical problem. 2 girls plus 3 guys equals 1 unhappy guy and that 1 guy might as well be you. Try to look at it as 1 of those 2 happy guys might as well be you. You are giving up on competing before you even start. Thinking that you don't deserve to be the happy one might be a pretty deep rooted problem in you and it might take a lot of self realization to over come.
yeah, I get where you are coming from.
I KNOW it's a deep rooted problem that needs fixing. I think I have a self respect and an entitlement problem.
it's like I down " allow" myself to " have" girls. ( if that makes sence) it's like I'm not there yet or I don't believe I can get them. even though I'm a pretty cool guy.
I feel like I've put myself in the " uncool" box and that's how my life is.
still haven't met anyone worth while nor have i picked anyone up yet
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[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Luckyluke23[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedditBlueit 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Luckyluke23[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Luckyluke23[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Luckyluke23[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]1 Endorsed Contributormordanus 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Luckyluke23[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Luckyluke23[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link