Love

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I recently read one of those infamous confession stories over at our parody sub; you know the type, wherein somebody says "I was a redpiller" and then proceeds to go into detail about why they renounced TRP beliefs. Most of the time these are pretty trite, but this one struck me a bit more interesting; basically, this guy had come to TRP, had success with women, worried he couldn't find intimacy or love, went to /r/relationships to witness true compassion, and ultimately posted on TPB about how much TRP sucks. I was intrigued.

This little episode provides a window into a larger issue I think a lot of us here struggle with: are love and intimacy compatible with TRP beliefs? You'll see this question posted quite a bit by some of our newer members, and I don't think it's an unreasonable one. Many men would like to think there's something more to life than banging sluts every weekend. After all, are all those famous authors, poets, filmmakers, and singers lying when they talk about love being the most important thing in the world? Wasn't, after all, my grandfather married for like 70 years to a woman he loved? Is love really all that matters? Where does it fit into TRP? Does it even exist?

The answers to these questions are a bit more complex than a simple yes or no, but in general: the emotion called love does exist, it has been oversold as the end-all, be-all for most of us here in the Anglosphere, it is not - strictly speaking - incompatible with TRP beliefs, and it is most certainly not all you need, Mr. Lennon.

Love is a multifaceted concept, and not one I'm going to expound upon philosophically; you're all capable of reading the Wikipedia page. But, to be succinct, love has a biological component related to certain hormones in the brain; it also has a whole library of societal implications, ranging from emotional to spiritual, stacked on top of it. Many people are quick to identify different types of love, further compounding the confusion over what exactly it is. But I believe, in TRP-fashion, the love for a woman that most of us craved at one point - with all the attendant benefits (sex, intimacy, acceptance) - can be broken down into two main groupings: redpill love, which is healthy and completely reasonable, and bluepill love, which is a largely fantastical, unhealthy belief system.

I suppose I should mention I have been in bluepill love before multiple times, and boy, at the time, it felt amazing. It was like the greatest thing that had happened to me back in those days; this beautiful, sexy woman wanted to spend all her time with me, wanted to have sex all the time with me, and loved me for me forever. Unconditionally. It was just like one of my Tolstoyesque romances I'd read about! Boy oh boy, am I a lucky guy or what?!

Needless to say, when that ended, the other side of the coin was much, much less fun. But end it did, because, although bluepill love feels great, its very substance relies on believing a fantasy and suspending belief in reality. Bluepill love ignores inconvenient truths such as the transactional nature of all human relationships, the SMV economics behind being in love, and, you know, statistics like the average divorce rate, infidelity rate, etc., etc.; also, bluepill criminally overlooks the history of the concept of love, and how it's a relatively new phenomenon - I assure you there weren't many cavemen worrying about butterflies in the stomach. Bluepill love isn't just blind; it's deaf and dumb, too, and has a tendency of leaving people emotionally damaged, confused, and ultimately less happy, even if the zeniths can be really great.

You see, that whole unconditional love narrative is bullshit, as is the current story driving what (I like to call) The Love Arch™. The arch is endemic to all bluepill media, and teaches us Western males that we're probably going to have a string of crushing, devastating breakups throughout our 20s, feel like we're never going to meet The One™, then miraculously meet her at the eleventh hour and she will make our lives just so magical. She will just accept you for you. Cue applause and wedding scene. Honestly, The Love Arch™ deserves it's own post on why it's such a shitty bluepill model, but we'll save that for another day.

Long story short, bluepill love is unhealthy because it relies largely on fantasy, feel-good bullshit and an inherently weak belief that you, as a man, are nothing without the love of a woman. It's a beautiful lie, but a lie nonetheless.

Redpill love is superior, and is likely the type of love your grandfather had for your grandmother that allowed them to be together for decades (along with a stigmatization against divorce). Redpill love is founded in reality, where certain behaviors are more attractive to women than others, where value matters, where people are people, and where love is not seen as the ultimate reason for being, but a great benefit of being with a woman. You can likely read more eloquent (and lengthy) dissertations on redpill love in the links on the sidebar, but the takeaway is redpill love is healthier because it comes from a position of strength, not of weakness.

Redpill love rejects the notion that you need a girlfriend or wife to be fulfilled, to be made whole, to be accepted. It also embraces one of the most important rules of all: Things Change. Unconditional love, forever love, soulmates, The One™ - all the hyper-romantic ideas that bluepilled Western media considers sacrosanct - redpill love calls these notions nonsensical.

And to bluepill eyes and ears, that's just about the most horrible thing imaginable. How can you question the tenants of True Love™, the Only Thing That Matters©?? It is important to note here that redpill love can be a wonderful feeling, too; and, in many ways, is a more genuine emotion, being founded in actual reality instead of myth.

When you start to see that beautiful woman as less of The Only Thing That Matters™, Your Everything (or whichever bluepill platitude you choose), and more as a wonderful accoutrement to an already great life then you will be on the right path. When you see that loving this woman adds value to your life and vice versa then you will be experiencing redpill love. From a position of strength you can experience actual intimacy, although you'd be fine without it. Also, as an added benefit, redpill love is a much better foundation to build a lasting relationship upon, because you are not trying to fulfill yourself with another person, the ultimate needy beta move and a guaranteed way to make a woman stop being attracted to you.

In closing, I'll freely admit I've always been a bit of a romantic. I genuinely like the idea of Goethean romance, and - for a long time after discovering TRP ideology through life experiences - was in extended period of mourning when I found it didn't really exist. But, as I delved deeper into TRP ideology, I came to realize bluepill love is founded in a sort of aggressive, selfish weakness, and is really the belief of a spoiled society. This idea that I shouldn't have to work to improve anything about myself, that I should just expect a woman to love me for me regardless of my value or if I act like an effete manchild is really kind of the height of narcissism when you think about it. It's an active denial of reality. You see this in play all the time in other subreddits; the boyfriend with a cheating significant other is my favorite trope. "Waaaah" they whine, "how could she d-do this to me? We loved each other!" Sure, maybe she did, but then you acted like a big beta bitch and turned her off and your value significantly dropped. Just because you were Soulmates™ doesn't mean she's not a woman. Bluepill love now, to me, really represents a criminal lack of responsibility, the desire to lazily throw your hands in the air, say "if it's meant to be, it's meant to be lol", and then not work on improving yourself anymore. Absolutely disgusting.

TL;DR: *Love is real, yes. Love can be good, yes. Redpill love is far superior to bluepill love. Don't be a chump and fall for the bluepill drivel; it's an active denial of reality and will lead you to a bad place. *