I've come to accept that we are all fundamentally alone, especially men who seem to have almost no support networks in their time of need.

I've just got out of an 8 month relationship (second one) with some chick I met on Tinder. It was foolish, and I was bored after 3 months and yet fell into her emotional vortex for a while until I started to pry myself free again realising I could do a lot better.

The problem is, I've seen so many posts around here about divorce rape and ruthless hypergamy, that I have absolutely no faith in a woman to commit to me long-term. I'm always waiting for their bigger better deal to arrive, always assuming they will one day leave and so there is no point in investing in the relationship.

This obviously builds up a tonne of resentment and jealousy and all kinds of shit emotions that have destroyed all of my relationships. Sometimes I wish I'd not taken the pill because of it. At least I could live in ignorant bliss until heartbreak instead of always anticipating it around the corner.

I'm not on this planet to spend it alone. My mum died last year and I lost all meaning in life. I have no children, no partner, few friends. the only reason I'm still alive is because I have two brothers and my dad who would be heart-broken if I topped myself.

I've built myself a career in programming and have pushed myself to improve year on year in most areas of my life (game the last couple). We weren't well off and a lot of my motivation was to give back to my mum... until I was sidetracked by dating a couple years ago.

I'm now entering my 30s and am planning to build a base for my future. I feel like I want children (though waiting until mid-late 30s), but how the hell am I supposed to choose the mother of my children in this climate? Where are these women who will commit to me and to raising a family for 20 years?

Should I let go of this idea of a family? Should I just spend my life with plates or in and out of dead-end relationships?

Would appreciate some thoughts from the more experienced around here. I'm definitely hitting a mid-life crisis (seeing a therapist).