I cant explain why but from a young age I always liked to stir up some kind of trouble, controverse or fight. I cant explain why but I get enthusiastic and excited about it and afterwards the feeling of enthusiasm and peace stays for a few weeks or months(Depending on what I caused)in the same way.

And the thing is it actually helps me be more productive in college, work and even in banging chicks. As I said before I stay for a few days with an adrenalive "vibe" that helps gives me more willpower to do many things... I get better grades, I lift better I´m even able to aproach and game(sucessifuly) more girls aftewards(even the ones that arent aware of my 'bad boy" behaviour).

As I stated above challenging authority figures, verbally challenging a teacher/professor view, challenging peers or mocking them or just causing some kind of polemic among peers and my local community in general makes me feel happy and gives me some kind of "feeling" that helps me deal with other stuff in life. I never do anything very evil or serious that could destroy my life. I just do something big enough to make people talk about it for someitme or create some kind of emotion into them. And as I said before it actually works whenever it happens I am able to perform better in several areas of my life due to this adrenaline feeling that stays aftewards for sometime. And people are more willing to follow me, talk to me and girls chase me more usually. It seems that in the end people enjoy me more for causing those stuff, which is kinda ironic. I guess in the end not only girls but people in general love douchebags even if they dont admit it. However when It wears off I am back at my normal self with just an average willpower to do productive stuff thus making some kind of controverse again becomes an addiction, just to get that "feeling" that stays aftewards, until it wears off, that helps me ace exams, get chicks, work better, lift better etc.

Sometimes I wonder Am I some kind of sociopath or just a normal "bad boy" for enjoying to do this kind of stuff ? Should I change even if it actually works for me? I wish I could find other ways to raise my willpower and get that adrenaline feeling that stays for some days, but since I was kid this always worked and rarely backfired.