Negging

This is a constant sticking point and source of controversy. The PUA community has a reputation of being obnoxious neckbeards aping the worst behavior of more successful men, and misunderstanding the negging concept and applying it poorly is a major cause of this.

Its not about wrecking a woman's self esteem, insulting her or delivering backhanded compliments. Its talking shit, its fucking with somebody, its friendly teasing thats obviously not serious. The aim isnt to be mean or insulting, its establishing playful, back and forth banter. Above all else, its funny and fun. We all know that one fun guy that's always got jokes. Have you ever had him give you a little shit, and leave everybody, including you, laughing about it? That's a successful neg.

Be the dominant one in the relationship

We're not talking about "Shut up woman, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich" here. These days, the very word dominant has some very negative connotations and associations. Being dominant is not the same as dominating, being a leader is not the same as being a dictator. This misconception isn't just limited to relationships. I was always having to pull aside green lieutenants and young buck sergeants and explain this.

What you want is a respectful "captain and 1st mate" relationship. For all you star trek fans here on reddit, she's Riker, you're Picard. You both respect and value each other, you're a team, but you are in charge of that team. If there is a disagreement, its taken care of later in private, never in public. You're sure as hell never disrespected in public. And when you make a decision, you expect her to back you and support you on it.

Some of you may be saying, "yeah, but why cant the woman be the leader?" Well, if men and women were exactly the same except for our lower plumbing, that could work. But we're not, and sooner or later a woman will lose respect for a man that defers leadership to her. Women obviously value commitment, and especially the sense of security that goes with it. When she has to wear the pants in a relationship, when she cant trust the man to make decisions and be a leader, she doesnt feel very secure at all. Its like leading a squad in combat. Confident, decisive leadership makes you feel safe and secure, self doubt and democracy scares the fuck out of you.

Women are incapable of Love

This is an incomplete sentence. Women are incapable of love the way that men love. For you ladies out there, could you ever love somebody the way you love your children? Fuck no. Love for your children is unconditional and forever, you'll kill for them, die for them, you'll love them no matter what because their your babies and always will be. That's the best analogy I can come up with for how men experience love.

But how does a woman love a man? Its not unconditional, disney love. Its not the way you love her. That's not to say that a woman is incapable of love, or that it cant be intense, but it is different. How so? Its always conditional, and situational. If you lose your job, your house, everything, she's gone. She's not going to live in a van down by the river with you, or in your buddy's living room. If you fall apart, lose your drive, passion and ambition, stop paying attention to her, struggle with PTSD, etc. she'll fall out of love with you. She doesn't love who you are as a person, she loves who you are at this moment and how you make her feel. If either of those change, her love for you will too. When my last serious relationship ended, she told me I wasn't the man she fell in love with. While i technically was the same person, I changed, and so did how she felt about me. The possibility of it ending like this is why you spin plates.

Spin plates

This doesnt necessarily mean cheat. It can if you want it to, but the concept, and RP advice in general is meant to be amoral. Do with it what you want, based on your own personal ethics.

While the obvious benefits of this are lots of fun casual sex with different people, you can still keep plates and not cheat or sleep with them, and its still important. For one thing, it levels the playing field and evens things out. Unless you're dating a hideous land whale, at any given time your woman can find another guy with a trip to the bar or a single phone call. She can get sex on demand, and another relationship in a matter of days. There's always thirsty orbiters will to date her at the drop of a hat.

Obviously, things are a little harder for a guy. This is why you spin plates. Even if you're not actively sleeping with them, you maintain the ability to if you want. Having options a phone call away levels the playing field between you and her. Is dealing with somebody on an equal level a bad thing? I think not.

Most importantly, this staves off Oneitis. THERE IS NO "ONE". There are good ones, and bad ones, but there is no singe one, a soul mate you're meant to be with. There is no scarcity of women either, never think that you "cant find another like her." Spinning plates reminds you of this. A woman doesnt respect you or treat you well? There's other women that will. A woman doesnt find you attractive and want to have sex with you anymore? There's other women that would love to do epic things to your penis. Dont settle for somebody who doesnt make you happy or treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Many RPers will say never settle for one person, period. But thats an individual goal you have to decide on. Just remember, there's always other options. Which leads us into the next one.

Next her

Women love saying that nobody deserves sex; that women aren't vending machines you insert kindness tokens into for pussy. They're right. But its the same thing with commitment. Men aren't vending machines you insert pussy tokens into for loyalty. Commitment is earned.

You're not a peasant courting a princess. She should be working at least as hard to keep you as you are to keep her. If you're miserable, if you're not respected and valued, if you're not being treated right:

walk away.

Simple as that. If you've been spinning plates like you should, its easy. Refusing to be treated poorly isnt immoral, and you should never let yourself be shamed for it because your a man.

These are my views on the concepts at least. I may be more focused on LTRs than single life, but personally Im at the point where hook up culture has gotten a little old, at least for now. I'd love to get some of the TRP endorsed posters opinions.

Edit: spelling and grammar