Reputation wrecked due to crabs in a bucket, what to do?

Eap123RP · 2018-05-16T13:02:28+00:00

Sounds like you fucked up your image mostly beyond repair, especially if your sister is insulting you now. Since you're able to pull some girl from the outside, you'll have to continue doing for now until you graduate. I was in a similar situation as you with older people in my university. I had to wait until they graduated for my image to clear up.

X--Man · 2018-05-16T13:29:42+00:00

High School doesn't last forever, and once its over, its over. Keep bettering yourself in every way possible. Ignore the haters. Haters gonna hate. Keep up your new persona but dont be overbearing about it. Don't tell people your intentions, or what you are trying to do with TRP stuff. Don't be a creeper with your girl friends. Don't try to crap where you eat. Toning your body and being funnier and cockier shouldn't anger entire groups of popular people unless you are doing more than that or being obnoxious. Just lay low and practice TRP while being chill about it. Eventually you will fall off their radar or it will die down a bit. If not, you only have a year left and then none of it matters anymore anyways. Just don't let these people hold you back from improving yourself, and when in doubt, keep your mouth shut. It will cause the least amount of social damage if you just ignore and keep doing your thing.

360_no_scope_upvote · 2018-05-16T13:17:07+00:00

Your only recourse is to get ripped

wheresMYsteakAt · 2018-05-16T15:12:39+00:00

You are 18 and approaching girls in high school. That's a bold act and the heirarchy is trying to reconcile is self. In modern society this is done with social pressure which is what you are experiencing. A small part of me is aware that it also depends on how you came across when approaching and rejected but I don't think that's the case.

It's a new school... It's not like you were a geek for 3 years and suddenly changed. These guys don't have enough of a baseline to really form that opinion. A year isn't even a year in school and unless things changed it would be rare for the same students to be in all of your classes.

What exactly did you do during the anger phase? All that goes out the window if the reason people don't like is because you are walking around talking to girls about the wall and branch swinging.

LordOfTheReptiles · 2018-05-16T13:42:25+00:00

Are you planning on going to college? If so, just buckle down until then. None of this shit will matter when you’re in college because you can to into as anyone you want to be. High schoolers are petty, jealous, immature, and love to hold grudges. I’d say ride it out until you graduate and find a new social circle, which won’t be an issue in university (especially if you’re going into it in shape with a cocky/funny attitude). Just establish yourself early on as a sexual, fun, outgoing person in your next environment and you won’t have these same issues.

Je_suis_throwy · 2018-05-16T15:10:02+00:00

Stoicism. Let go of your bad social group surrounding, their shit talk, their false views of you. You'll be in college soon. For the rest of high school, go monk mode, focus on your grades, your sports team and your fitness. Try to socialize outside of school, with people that don't have a false image of you just because person x said so.

juliusstreicher · 2018-05-16T14:00:20+00:00

One thing to do is to go for the chicks that you CAN get. This should build your SMV with preselection. The sluts that you can't get now will see that, yes, you CAN fuck hotties-just hotties that are in a different league than themselves.

Further, HTF do you know how people look at your sex life...even you sister?? Do you actually sit there while they dissect your personal behavior? If the question comes up with anybody at that school, your relationships, including sex, are not up for discussion. They have already proved that they are incompetent to judge anything at all about your life. IOW, if sis or friends ask if you are getting any, give them a look of disdain and silence. If they persist, remove yourself from their presence. If they ask if you are seeing anybody, give the same response. Let them wonder-it will give an air of mystery, and they will only know of those outside of your social circle when they see you with them.

These people are your enemies; don't treat them meanly, but, treat them as hoboes who just wandered up, when they ask personal questions about your relationships-with shock that they should think themselves worthy of your sharing with them.

Good luck!

randarrow · 2018-05-16T16:52:43+00:00

Your highs school life is fucked, deal with it. Just get through without making waves, and if you can socialize outside of school, great.

Learn to deal with this. You've got a good chance to learn about this behavior. Try to drop of their radars, but then watch how others are treated and learn from it.

neverquitman · 2018-05-16T13:06:08+00:00

Whats your motivations for writing this post ? The key to answer is finding what are you striving for from this post. Do you want them to respect you? Do you want to game more chicks ?

Casd12 · 2018-05-16T15:47:44+00:00

The comments saying theres nothing you can do isnt thinking enough. Theres always a way to win the hearts of millions, always a way to overcome bs situations. There's this saying how, "You Either Die A Hero, Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain" but theres another one that I just made up and it goes like "You Either Die A Villian, Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Hero."

To begin, I would like to say based on my high school experience, I was friends with basically every social group, from the nerds to the cool kids, to the niche groups (goth, cosplay, anime folks). Now, since it's highschool and since you've already fucked up your chances with every girl there and are hated by everyone, you're free. Just like that quote from that movie, "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.".

So congratulations, you can do whatever the fuck you want and it wont further damage your reputation. Also, who cares, it's only highschool and you're almost done anyways. What you want to do is to slowly start playing the image that others have set for you but with a twist. Like yes I am the fake ass creep that asks out all the girls but I dont care what you think of me, cus I love people and I find everyone very interesting and fun to be around. This is key, you want people to adapt to your new self, by outcasting you, its their last move to prevent you from leaving the bucket.

So essentially, what I'm saying is for you to stop being a silent pussy boy and start talking to everyone, start offering value. Start off with complements for guys and girls (cus people like getting validation). But you might say "its beta to offer complements to people especially girls" and I would agree but for your special situation, you're essentially doing CPR to your current social life. Basically, you want to go around school and see if anyone has made an effort to look good (it can be a guy's new shoes, to a girl's hairstyle, their math skills, presentation skills etc), you then complement on the specific thing that they've tried so hard to standout on (if he/she practice running everyday, complement them on their form or speed). You then ask them about it while keeping it short and simple.

Example, You: "yo james/debra nice shoes, Ive been eyeing that for awhile, where did you get it?" Im gonna go with 2 scenario replies. Scenario 1- "Thanks, I actually got them on sale for like 2 dollars" then you ask where and such, talk for a bit and end the convo when you feel like it.

Scenario 2 (shit-test): gives you a dirty look "fuck off you little bitch boy/creep", in this case you say, chuckle "good one, but you know what else is good? your shoes." Usually, they will be baffled, cus not alot of people can be selfless and depending on how well you pass the shit test, they might start thinking youre a pretty cool person. You must not become outcome dependent.

You have to provide value no matter what, help people with school work (dont do their homework tho, dont get used), step in and help people who are getting bullied, ask what book they are reading cus it looks interesting, complement on very specifc things can go a long way cus they'll think "wow, no one ever complemented me on my voice." During lunch breaks play some sports with other people ask them if you can play with them. Or just chill beside it and complement on their plays, example, if a person scores a goal, tell them that shit should be on fifa. Joke around, take risks, cus who cares. Join school clubs too.

Essentially, what you want is for people to slowly start liking you despite the fact that it's uncool to like you. They might even start talking about how despite you being a creep and acting kinda fake, you're a pretty cool person. You also have to realize that some people may think you're an alright person but they have to act like they dont like you so their social status doesnt depreciate lmao. One way to solve this is to offer value to the leaders of each groups, aka the alphas. You have to slowly start being that guy whose changed but is super positive and fun to be around. You have to be positive and outgoing, offer value, make people feel good when they're around you. Also, during this time, its important to hit the gym and eat healthy. Remember by having a great body/style and hair means you can do things that others with less smv can do. Be sexual, flirt with girls, push pull, all that stuff.

When your social status improves, slowly start limiting your complements so you're not a free validation coupon. You're only using this to get out the shit situation youre currently in. Good Luck

RunawayGrain · 2018-05-16T15:55:30+00:00

Monk mode and lift until you get the hell outta high school. A lot of this is just rapid changes, too. People like to fit people into niches and you are trying to break out of the one you are in. So people would prefer to drag you down rather than encourage you.

The good new is that, going forward, people don't already have you pigeon holed and will be devising where they place you based on your current state. Get ripped and pay attention to personal grooming because appearance does matter.

redlittleboot · 2018-05-16T17:30:44+00:00

Soon you'll get out of school, hang on

mortsdans · 2018-05-16T18:02:26+00:00

You mentioned "adopting the strong silent type". Don't do that. Try to talk to as many people as you can. I really liked a book called "The Charisma Myth." Read that and practice being outgoing. Even if it means making a fool of yourself. Who cares if you do? Stop worrying about what other people think.

Herdsengineers · 2018-05-16T19:15:19+00:00

fuck em. come back in 10 years, fit, trim, successful and with a gorgeous hb9 plate on your arm. you'll be amazed just how many of them, men and women, hit the wall hard and do nothing with their lives. you don't need people like that around anyway.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2018-05-16T19:49:26+00:00

Nobody cares. Take as many college credit courses as you can. Your friends and their opinions of you are of no consequence.

Literally nobody cares about your "reputation" in high school.

That completely dissolves on graduation. You can't take it with you. Zilch. Bad reputation? Say goodbye. Big man on campus? Goodbye, welcome to the ocean, you thought you were the big fish in a small pond.

This is one of the main reasons for the gender gap in high earning, technical careers.

Girls in highschool typically focus most their energy and thought on succeeding socially/interpersonally, to gain the most access to High SMV guys...... Only to have all progress they make wiped out on graduation.

Then they often do the exact same thing in college, then they have a low Value degree, a big debt, and they're back at square one having few truly valuable technical skills.

This is all the fault of the "patriarchy" by the way. We gave you lots of opportunities and guidance about what the economy really needed, but you weren't interested.

Title	Reputation wrecked due to crabs in a bucket, what to do?
Author	TheDarkRanger
Upvotes	13
Comments	20
Date	May 16, 2018 12:46 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8jumgh/reputation_wrecked_due_to_crabs_in_a_bucket_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/reputation-wrecked-due-to-crabs-in-a-bucket-what.97365 https://theredarchive.com/post/97365