How to deal with aggressive men?

kellykebab · 2018-09-30T18:19:28+00:00

If I remember correctly there was a post on trp about how you should NOT help woman in situations like that, because your well being is far more important.

Your well-being is up to you. If you want to take a risk to protect another person, male or female, that completely your prerogative. And I believe it is a very noble thing to do. Maybe we shouldn't feel obligated to do this, but it is definitely commendable when someone does.

In this situation it was NOT about the woman, I did not care about her at all. I just felt that it was the right thing to do as a man.

Do we really have to construe every act we perform as completely self-serving in order to be "red pilled?" Having neutral feelings on whether or not a woman is attacked or raped or even just harassed is not bad ass. It's not manly. It's not impressive.

The "white knight" stereotype is of the cowardly man who overreacts in a situation where a woman is not actually in any danger. The white knight is often not putting himself in any real danger, but makes a big show of his actions as if he is. The white knight's motivation is really to seek validation for himself and to express his own aggression, not to help others.

What you describe is nothing like the white knight character. I personally believe that men protecting women in appropriate ways and in the right situations and without trying to gain undue attention for themselves is red pill and it is manly. Ultimately, men are the soldiers of the community. And part of that responsibility means defending women from harm. That is a very different responsibility from becoming an emotional tampon or being manipulated by women to serve their every fickle need, a fear which I think influences some of the excessive RP resistance to ever helping women in any way.

So I would say that what you did was definitely risky, but taking risks is red pill and masculine and ultimately you helped another person, which is a good thing to do in my book.

purplefidgetmidget · 2018-09-30T16:36:46+00:00

Walk away. Phone the police.

My friend did the same thing you did, woke up in hospital with a split head, lucky to be alive.

Terdmuffin · 2018-09-30T17:35:50+00:00

Dont be stupid and get involved in situations like this. Dogs that bark don't bite until one does and then what? If you're really concerned for her safety then call the police but don't get yourself inbolved over some stranger.

holyshocker · 2018-09-30T17:46:01+00:00

I have a pocket pistol on my body at all times. Protect yourself then you can protect others.

CalvinRichland · 2018-09-30T19:50:42+00:00

Ill keep my political views about the conquered europe and disarmed subjects mostly out of this thread. Really though i dont think TRP says anything about this situation. Your call.

I have years of fight training armed and unarmed and i usually have a gun on me that i am highly skilled with. I wouldnt get involved unless it was obvious she was about to to harmed for sure, and then only if i was sure she did not know the aggressor. Them just being a creep i would simply call police and observe.

If i get involved it will be with overwhelming violence plain and simple and someone might die. If they weren't doing anything to justify homicide, I'd let it slide until then.

Whether you did the right thing or not depends on the outcome, this time it went fine. They just could easily have stomped your head and left you retarded.

mrpoopistan · 2018-09-30T18:36:01+00:00

I was outnumbered as well

The studies I've seen about numbers and aggression suggest that they're not going to chance it as 3-to-1 odds, especially against an opponent who presents with a high degree of command presence.

The extra guys at the scene, while not overt contributors, are likely to make the three offenders much more tepid.

Generally speaking, men looking to commit assaults, especially sexual assaults, prefer complete numerical superiority. They also tend to prefer to isolate targets.

Given the circumstances, about the only thing you could've done better was recruited the guys who were there into your enterprise. Even if they're not really down for a fight, you can frame it like they're part of your numbers by saying something loud enough that the offenders can hear it. Something like, "Are you guys seeing this bullshit?"

As for whether you should or shouldn't have done any of this, I'll argue that you're the captain of your own ship. Sailing it into troubled waters is your call.

I personally enjoy the entertainment value of getting into situations with a risk of violence. Having grown up around violent people, I have excellent radar for who's up for a fight and who's posturing. Very few people are looking for a fight. Even the ones looking to commit assaults are usually looking for easy wins.

The only times you'll find things will get unpredictable is when people were prepared to commit one crime and stumble into a situation that calls for quickly pivoting into committing another crime. For example, a burglary involving multiple offenders who brought a weapon just in case. People improvise very poorly in those situations, and they get out of hand fast.

telling me I only had the balls to do it because I seem to be on drugs

Nothing makes me happier than when somebody tells me why I'm full of shit for being tough on them. I remember in high school an older student who hated me told me, "The only reason you don't get the shit beaten straight out of you is because no one knows what you'd really do." O noes! I feel so sad.

Shits_On_Old_Synths · 2018-09-30T16:40:33+00:00

the red pill thing to do would be to try and "humanize" the situation, you run into these kinds of people a lot in certain areas of europe, and usually you can keep the situation from escalating by staying calm and collected

Running into people like this when going out made me realize the importance of the American second amendment though, (I used to believe in common decency and "common sense" gun control) if the situation did go hairy, 3 against 1 is not going to end well

notsoeasytopickaname · 2018-09-30T18:48:53+00:00

Germany?

pairevo · 2018-09-30T16:34:43+00:00

If your objective was to be a white knight and get some pussy then you made the wrong move. Otherwise you made the right move.

MGTOWMAN75 · 2018-09-30T19:03:31+00:00

You came out lucky in my expierence these arab immigrants have loads of cousins who are all fucking insane.

You don't have to follow chivalry or the beliefs your mother instilled in you, personally i would have walked past maybe call 911 if you think shes in danger. Look out for number one because in the real world there are no rewards for good behaviour or a strong moral compass

flashcash12 · 2018-09-30T19:55:32+00:00

Man this migrant bullshit in Europe (I’m assuming this is where you live) is getting really bad. Most of them are completely uncivilized.

Taco_Truck_Aficionad · 2018-09-30T18:19:12+00:00

Those could have been gangsters with bigger fish to fry than you. Maybe didn't want to get their whole operation popped because they killed some white boy over a bitch. Decided to talk shit and let you live another day so your family can see you and be with you again.

Or maybe, in a drunken moment of passionate rage, they just take out their piece and dome your ass because you wanted to be a white knight galloping gallantly to the rescue of the damsel in distress. Closed-casket because your family doesn't have the money to have your face rebuilt.

Or maybe they're just punk-ass thugs and you heroically run them off.

It's your call to make and hopefully you use your best judgement in that situation.

enterim · 2018-09-30T20:04:19+00:00

A lot of these men are jealous as hell lol. Good on you, it was the decent human thing to do.

Flintblood · 2018-09-30T20:22:11+00:00

Six men didn’t have the balls to join you and say something?! How fucking pathetic

dtyler86 · 2018-09-30T20:50:05+00:00

Went to Asheville NC (supposed to be liberal and chill right?) the second I got out my car THE EXACT SAME thing happened man. I did what you did, they did the same, threaded to fuck me up. They didn’t, I kept frame. My bro in law was just walking up to meet me and told me I was insane. Girl was long gone and had no idea I told these assholes to chill out and stop giving men a bad rep.

Fuck guys that do nothing, fuck guys that are lunatics and fuck women that think all men are pigs.. I’m evangelical about TRP but right is right

Also, not implying you have to endanger yourself, but if you’re tall and strong, I am, you should do something

dr_warlock · 2018-10-01T01:58:37+00:00

Its best to do this when you have a crew to back you up. Thats how men in non 1st world countries in the past did. Nothing bp about it.

Opioidus · 2018-09-30T22:25:11+00:00

Don't be captain save-a-hoe, if she's worried about being harrassad by shit world immigrants then she can stop voting left. Women are the ones importing aggressive foreign men into our lands don't ever forget that.

Operator_Axiom · 2018-09-30T18:32:29+00:00

You did the right thing. It's something I've done before. I'm 44 and things are different now than they use to be. You rarely had to worry about someone having a weapon but nowadays you just don't know.

Generally all it takes is holding frame and appearing tough but never count on it. Be prepared to fight and fight like your life depends on it because it just might. I've noticed if people are around once one person steps in it breaks the ice and others will back you. Don't count on that either though because those are people who need leaders and are often cowards hiding behind 'common sense'.

If you are going to get involved in a situation where you are going to be out numbered and there aren't people around you better have a weapon. If you don't then you had better be badass and you better be smart. Call 911 FIRST and then make you presence known.

If it is a situation like you were in handle it by verbal commands at first and go from there. Intersect yourself between them and the victim. If it is a situation where violence has already started then remember there are no rules in a fight. Honor in a fight is a thing of the past and only in war movies and romance novels. Hit hard and hit to win.

But I always recommend to everyone to carry some kind of weapon. Whether it is defensive or offensive in nature doesn't matter. In most places around the world some kind of mace is legal to carry. Same with tasers. Know everything about the weapon and never brandish it unless you are willing to actually use it. It happens where someone pulls a weapon, still gets challenged, and loses. It happens way to much with idiots who carry guns. Think that if they brandish it then the other person won't attack them or even pull their own. Hell, I know someone who carries and never has one in the chamber. Defeats the purpose imo.

I live in a state that is lax on weapons. I can carry a sword down the street if I want. I do carry a solid pocket knife at all times and a gun when not at work. I'm also former military and can handle myself well enough for the most part. Luckily I have never had to use my gun but had to pull it once.

Question #1. I ignore aggressive people that are that way towards me or I just shrug it off. I'll do this until I can't. Then I give it back to them. If I feel it is going to get physical then I control the situation and strike first. Don't worry about being the one to throw the first punch and being considered the one who 'started it' because if someone is coming at you aggressively and not letting up you are acting in self defense. All you need for that is to feel threatened. Be smart about it.

And to you your point #2, I don't remember seeing that post but I know some people feel that way. I'm not getting involved to help a girl out just to get laid. I'm also not getting involved if her BF is going off on her for something she did. You see it in bars all the time where a guy is going off because she cheated or tried.

But if a group of dudes are hounding some girl or a couple of girls then damn right I'm getting involved. I personally couldn't look at myself in the mirror if I didn't. Standing up for those in need and weaker than you doesn't make you a white knight or a SJW, it shouldn't go against TRP. If it does then so what? To me it's the right thing to do and what makes a man a man.

livear · 2018-09-30T20:05:05+00:00

If you're gonna get involved, don't get involved alone.

Take the leadership role, recruit and inspire those guys around you who you obviously see are on your side, a lot of others will join just because they now have someone to follow. Not too hard to rile up the manly/brotherly/guardian archetype from a bunch of drunk blokes.

Most guys don't have the balls to confront them alone like you did, but most guys would absolutely have to balls to join you, and would salivate at the opportunity.

EL_Miore · 2018-09-30T23:00:46+00:00

Commended. David never defeated Goliath by staying his blade.. or in that case, rock. This was extreme Alpha behavior and other RedPillers could learn a thing or two about this incident.

kcaJrebmuL · 2018-09-30T20:29:22+00:00

You did the right thing dude!

About your points.

Yes, things can go bad quickly. Since you were basically alone, I think how you handled the situation was perfect.
That part of trp maybe holds some truth in some situations, but mostly it's just for male hamstering to hide cowardice.

omarbradley42 · 2018-09-30T20:39:32+00:00

Turks don't harass an alone woman. They could be arab or other middle eastern people.

FiveStarTendieDinner · 2018-09-30T23:57:46+00:00

If you have to fight. Only remember one thing. YOU. FIGHT. TO. KILL.

Shoot them. Stab them. Make them bleed out. Crush their fucking skull on a curb. Do whatever you must. It isn't your concern that they are someone else's friend, brother, husband, father, whatever. Once the first punch is thrown you do everything you can to take their life and do not give a fuck about their feelings or well being. They are an enemy until their last breath leaves their bloodied corpse. Your victory is the only thing that matters in these situations.

Ivabighairy1 · 2018-10-01T00:39:49+00:00

Some things gnaw on a man worse than dying- Kevin Costner "Open Range"

pame12 · 2018-10-01T01:00:59+00:00

I was watching a video about the "defending of women" topic, and the author brought up a situation wherein in his hometown an average guy was walking back home from work and saw a woman being threatened by a guy. The average joe intervened and was stabbed to death, the woman ran away; but joe had a family, his son now will be fatherless, and his wife will have had a harder time.

It's hard to say what to do in this situation, especially since it means different things to different people. Personally, if the woman was hot enough I would have just called the cops and sat there watching to make sure it doesn't get dangerous. If the woman was HB9+ I would have probably intervened.

pretty_bread · 2018-09-30T16:36:22+00:00

Not your circus, not you're monkeys.

ThatKidinAfrica · 2018-09-30T16:51:59+00:00

You did a courageous thing. White Men these days are mostly pussies and cucks that don't even have the balls to protect their own country and it's people. They are especially scared of these Muslim immigrants as they can be quite violent. Fortunately you didn't get a weapon pulled up on you but DEFINITELY have a gun on you anytime there's a possibility for a fight or you might wake up in a hospitable with a big ass scar.

Bedtimeshine · 2018-09-30T16:38:58+00:00

First of all... I always have a weapon on me, you should too. Second, you should never let shit like this happen... scared or not... even if it back fires.

[deleted] · 2018-09-30T21:14:23+00:00

Not your circus. Not your monkeys. Not your problem.

There's no reason to risk your physical safety for a girl.

redvelvet_oreo · 2018-09-30T19:29:04+00:00

I think you did the right thing. I know a lot of people here advocate against this but i think there s line in the sand where you do nothing and when you be a leader. I agree most of the time its not worth it. I seen a White Knight intervene in a couple arguing and the guy pushed his girl and the WK jumped in. Start shoving the angry bf and the gf started to beat on the WK. It’s all within context i suppose.

Your situation sounded bad and someone should have done something. It’s worse that no one came to back you up. Goes to show you the world we live in. You should have phoned the police and then step in. We all know police is a reaction and are always to late.

As someone said here take up combat courses and learn how to use a firearm and a knife. I would walk around with a concealable knife even if its illegal. If i go to clubs I hide in my shoe because it’s small enough to fit there and not be found.

Also a book I would recommend to read on basic survival is 100 deadly skills by Clint Emerson ex-Navy SEAL. A lot of useful tips in there.

I would also say if you find yourself in a similar situation be creative. You can use your environment as a weapon as well. A glass bottle on the floor can become the force multiplier for you to win a fight.

enterim · 2018-09-30T20:00:27+00:00

I heard someone once say he stopped a situation like this by approaching the men and saying something non violent and confusing, like pretending to be a preacher or salesman and asking them something, and then showed concern like asking them if they were ok. And ended up pretending to befriend them. This was a skilled public speaker though.

that stuck with me. Think about the tough inner city priest or youth worker, and how he would approach them with care but tough love.

omarbradley42 · 2018-09-30T20:39:43+00:00

Turks don't harass an alone woman. They could be arab or other middle eastern people.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2018-09-30T20:45:44+00:00

That was ballsy but reckless. Don't try to go it alone against 3 aggravated bullies. Get backup first.

Should have told a couple of other bystanders to follow you and back you up.

"Hey, you and you, time to get serious. Stay right next to me. Don't worry, just pull them off me if it gets rough."

You're lucky other people were watching, or it could have gone downhill for you pretty fast. Sounds like those guys had been arrested before.

The reason the guy didn't try to knife you or something was he thought you knew something he didn't. He thought you knew most of the bystanders and they would finger him if he pulled some shit.

AstuteBlackMan · 2018-09-30T22:51:45+00:00

I give you props man. Im trying to get back into sidebar red pill reading. At this point in my life I’d definitely feel the urge to help but I’m not sure if I would unless it was someone I knew.

Do you plan on taking any martial arts or defense training after this?

All in all I get your point. Majority of people would say you’d be a simp but you aren’t if your goal isn’t to get sex or any reward from her and I respect that.

I just think there were smarter ways to go about it. Calling the police and then stepping in would’ve been better.

Definitely a good story though man. Made me think about things.

PieceBringer · 2018-09-30T23:46:55+00:00

I have had problems we things like that again. I remember i know a guy who died because he stopped 3 guys beating one guy he died stabbed 3 days later. The way I handled situations like that was by telling the agressor that it's really "bait" and he should go. I play like I'm on their side just to get them to stop.

theubernoob · 2018-10-01T01:15:47+00:00

Call authorities, collect information, ask questions politely, rally others to your cause

humzy · 2018-10-01T06:17:24+00:00

Strange comments in this thread. Society would crumble very quickly if we all had the thought process of not helping anyone if there’s nothing in it for you. In terms of your actions of putting yourself in danger, I would just call the cops unless the danger was imminent. If it was imminent (they were about to stab her or rape her) I would try and get the guys standing around to go and fight together or start looking for a weapon nearby.

walawalawa · 2018-10-01T09:03:40+00:00

The one thing working in your favour is that with anti-migrant sentiment at a high, those idiots realized that anything they did to you and the girl would probably reflect badly on their wider culture. So stepping in was a gamble and a calculated risk that in this case worked out in your favour and helped an innocent victim escape.

But always be aware of the wider situation. Things could easily have gotten violent fast and since you're vastly out-numbered would doing this right thing have been the "smart" thing?

In a similar situation a few years back standing in a taxi line and there was a group of drunk Japanese salary men. Then a Chinese guy came up drunk and started hassling them for no reason making all sorts of political and stupid remarks. I stepped in and just said "Lay off man". But police were up the street and the guy was very drunk and on his own. I did it because it was the right thing to do. No one thanked me but it avoided a lot of unnecessary violence.

FearGarbhArMait · 2018-10-01T21:29:15+00:00

Carry a gun and exercise caution. You too can be batman.

HurricaneHugues · 2018-10-02T06:35:53+00:00

"I went there and told the guys that they should leave if they do not want problems."

Ahmed and Sayyid launch at you and grab you, while Abu-Hajar pulls out his knife and buries it in your guts repeatedly.

[deleted] · 2018-10-04T03:43:48+00:00

Remember no good deed goes unpunished.

You win a fight they go to their car and come back and shoot you. White knighting does not work in your favor.

TheLastMgtow · 2018-09-30T20:20:04+00:00

Downvote this shit guys. Men are not your enemies. They want you divided and exhausted.

joner888 · 2018-09-30T18:40:47+00:00

Carry a small pocket baton or defense spray i would say. Even if its illegal

Andgelyo · 2018-09-30T18:42:39+00:00

You did the right thing. Think of that woman as your mother, sister, or girlfriend. I would gladly break some jaws if it meant protecting them. The rest of the other men were cucks. If i had some friends with me, I would jump the shit out of them.

Nergaal · 2018-09-30T20:33:02+00:00

I don't think you are being honest. You helped somebody who had apparently no connection to you, and risked your body integrity for it at absolutely no potential reward. It makes no sense to do anything unless you are absolutely sure of your outcome (which you said yourself you weren't).

RedDeathClock · 2018-09-30T21:27:07+00:00

I carry weapons myself when I'm out and about, always.

It's good that you told them to fuck off, but did you have the balls to back your words? Have you ever been in a life/death fight before, any experience at all?

As far as the ho is concerned, if she wanted to be safe, then she should have stayed home....4 o'clock in the morning, lmfao.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-10-01T00:15:11+00:00

I noticed 3 arab / turkish men harassing a younger woman who clearly felt unsecure and was in fear. She tried to get away from those guys but they followed her and were really aggressive.

and

Literally no one had the balls to say something.

I am not the unpaid bodyguard for bitches I don't know.

The girl thanked me later, told me she was scared.

Did you bang her?

omarbradley42 · 2018-09-30T20:39:21+00:00

Turks don't harass an alone woman. They could be arab or other middle eastern people.

averis1 · 2018-09-30T19:38:46+00:00

Still hold frame, not showing any fear.

Your cringe game's real strong.

In this situation it was NOT about the woman, I did not care about her at all. I just felt that it was the right thing to do as a man.

This is the most cringeworthy, immature shit I've read on Reddit.

Are you a teenager? You sound like the dumbest little insecure bitch.

And that a man should not try to avoid confrontation out of fear. And it was a great way to practice to hold my frame.

Any self-respecting, honorable man will take a hit to his ego to avoid unnecessary confrontations unlike you who's proudly humble-bragging & virtue-signalling.. BUT it feels TOO good to stroke your ego, doesn't it?

You could've been beat down & stabbed. "The right thing" was simply to call the police and remove yourself out of the situation.

In one Asian country, time to time, you hear on the news of guys getting stabbed and bleeding to death trying to help some lady. (Guns are illegal there)

The number of times she or her family showed up for his FUNERAL? A grand total of... ZERO.

mrpoopistan · 2018-09-30T18:36:20+00:00

I was outnumbered as well

The studies I've seen about numbers and aggression suggest that they're not going to chance it as 3-to-1 odds, especially against an opponent who presents with a high degree of command presence.

The extra guys at the scene, while not overt contributors, are likely to make the three offenders much more tepid.

Generally speaking, men looking to commit assaults, especially sexual assaults, prefer complete numerical superiority. They also tend to prefer to isolate targets.

Given the circumstances, about the only thing you could've done better was recruited the guys who were there into your enterprise. Even if they're not really down for a fight, you can frame it like they're part of your numbers by saying something loud enough that the offenders can hear it. Something like, "Are you guys seeing this bullshit?"

As for whether you should or shouldn't have done any of this, I'll argue that you're the captain of your own ship. Sailing it into troubled waters is your call.

I personally enjoy the entertainment value of getting into situations with a risk of violence. Having grown up around violent people, I have excellent radar for who's up for a fight and who's posturing. Very few people are looking for a fight. Even the ones looking to commit assaults are usually looking for easy wins.

The only times you'll find things will get unpredictable is when people were prepared to commit one crime and stumble into a situation that calls for quickly pivoting into committing another crime. For example, a burglary involving multiple offenders who brought a weapon just in case. People improvise very poorly in those situations, and they get out of hand fast.

telling me I only had the balls to do it because I seem to be on drugs

Nothing makes me happier than when somebody tells me why I'm full of shit for being tough on them. I remember in high school an older student who hated me told me, "The only reason you don't get the shit beaten straight out of you is because no one knows what you'd really do." O noes! I feel so sad.

TheLastMgtow · 2018-09-30T20:05:17+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZUoCpx8jag

Never white knight for a woman. You dont know this woman. A lot of these women will only recognize they need men on the last hour. You will not get laid for whiteknighting. Some women provoke the situation to get men to fight. Women voted migrants in. Women caused criminality and all the issues you see in western civilization are due to feminism. If you save a woman, she can very well still say to her friends that an idiotic slave just saved her from the danger, you are still an idiot in her eyes, especially if you get hurt. The idiots that you are trying to save the princess without anything garanteed in return are displaying alpha behavior, despite you like it or not, you on the other hand will be seen as a thirsty beta for giving your life for a cunt you dont even know. Most women are arrogant and will completely not value these kindness unless its from someone powerful. They only value power.

Are you sure you didnt mistake your jar of redpills for some other similar one filled with feminist bluepills? Be careful, only think about yourself, thats what females actually want, not a disposable idiot who risks himself for a cunt because he was brainwashed with chivalry and to believe cunts are the center of his LIFE. Get a grip.

Title	How to deal with aggressive men?
Author	enterim
Upvotes	109
Comments	202
Date	September 30, 2018 4:16 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9k7kh1/how_to_deal_with_aggressive_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-deal-with-aggressive-men.980 https://theredarchive.com/post/980