I am a single male in my early 30's, and I've been interested in Men's rights for awhile now. I just want to share my impressions reading up in the last few days, and how good it feels to read ideas that open your eyes to your realities.

In my early 20's I was victimized by women in several ways that lead me to be predisposed to becoming a MRA and seeing the "game" for what it really was. I also had a natural desire to spin plates and stay as free as possible. I saw the lie of relationships very early on. But obviously I'm not typing this all up to say I was part of my own solution early, quite the opposite. I'm here to talk about my roadblocks, and why I need to finally yank the plug before it was too late.

There is a difference between knowing the path and walking it.

I won't go into too much detail about these early issues, but they lead to a deeper understanding of what really motivates women, and how important social spheres and influence are on mating and attraction. I know that true love is a construct, but unfortunately my parents raised me with a one-two combo that kept me plugged in and as blue.

To keep this short as well, my father had complete Oneitis and lovingly doted on my mother. My mother was always controlling and ran our house, for better of for worse. I saw him lose a lot over the years, to raise my brother and I and keep my mother happy. Reflecting back I realize that I always saw this relationship as a "happy one" and very normal when in-fact it wasn't healthy or normal. The more I think of it now as an adult the more I realize that this isn't the truth, and the more I lament the bad habits I got from my Mother (and Father).

It has really hit home recently when I visit my parents and my mother makes comments about "How she loves my father for being the best provider." and that "No other man would have done so much for her to keep her happy." It throws things into stark relief when I think about the person he could have been, and the person he became. To be fair, I don't think my father had as many options or nearly as much access to information (which is why I am writing this, and why this sub is so important) to make other choices. Social constructs keep men in their beta roles with a soul sucking strength. I have to thank the man for giving me the chance to get where I am now.

I have to think my mother too for giving me so many insights into what women really want in life, and how they go about getting it.

So, I mention my parents to outline why I was always held back from being unplugged. They installed this framework for what I thought a normal relationship should be, and is not. Being a beta in every since. I had the instincts of an Alpha, and I was able to act out that way when I was younger with my looks and charm, but when I met a girl I cared for I could only apply Beta paradigms to the relationship... and almost every one of them failed in similar ways.

The clarity of it all is crashing down on me in the last few weeks.

In the last few years of my life I fell hard for a younger girl whom I dated for close to a year. I have recently came to many, many realizations about her, about myself, and bout our relationships. It has been a several step process to break myself down and get out of my oneitis for her. I'm still recovering, but I know a lot more now thanks to this subreddit.

All the constant shit-tests for age, sexuality, and social spheres that I never realized and answered wrongly through the years. All the explanations for her behavior over the years. How she would try to draw me back in if I would try to break away for a few months. How she treated the new men in her life in comparison to me. The thinly veiled insults and conditioning that she naturally used on me and that kept me in a hole. The total ingratitude she would show for all the things I would do for her, and how I broke myself down and accepted it. And ultimately why it didn't matter that she was ungrateful, what mattered is that I got out.

It lead to depression and a loss of a lot of good opportunities. I shutter a bit to think I could still be in that cycle. But I have nobody to blame but myself.

The good news is that it has helped me recently with other relationships.

My last lady friend told me she loved me, and I wouldn't respond. I never told her I loved her until after we had broken up. I even recognized many of the shit tests and cues when we finally did break up, and the conclusion wasn't difficult for me at all. It's funny, before we broke up (It was conditional on what college she was going to transfer to from her currently school) she wanted me to wait and make sure everything was lined up for her before we made the decision. I instantly recognized the behavior where she was weighing her options. This made the break-up even easier.

At any rate I feel good about what I've learned. I got a lot of really great sex and companionship with a much younger girl, and now I am emotionally free from the questions and aching. I was actually able to realize that she wasn't a person I would want to commit to and begin the process of breaking away from her emotionally long before we official broke up.

I also noticed some interesting things when my Ex, and current friend, when she was over at my apartment having dinner with me a few weeks ago. She was talking about hooking me up with one of her friends, and she made the comment, "But then it might make me want you even more." It was an odd off-handed comment, and a rare point of clarity for her. I didn't really say much of anything, but when she started probing me for affirmations on her looks, I knew exactly what was going on and how to answer.

Right now I'm trying to digest the things I know and recoup from my severe case of oneitis, so that I can go back into the game and spin plates. Self-improvement, Make myself happy, and engaging with new people who have things to offer me are my priorities. My days of languishing over my ex with no end in sight are over.

I jut want to make a few points.

  1. This Subreddit is very important. It's important to have resources for men to READ and have these ideas laid out for them. I knew a lot of these things for years, but until I was ready to accept it totally and comprehend it with not only an open mind, but a willing brain I wasn't about to put any of it any practical use. The written word is powerful to organize your mind and thus control your actions.

  2. The attacks from Reddit and feminist groups on the Redpill community will only make it stronger, as more people like myself will eventually become interested due to the sheer number of attacks. Eventually my mind said, "There has to be something to this if it pisses so many people off." One thing the feminist don't understand is that we don't hate them for being who they are, we just don't want to accept the abuse and bullshit that comes with it.

  3. Oneitis is a terrible thing, and the more people that know the truth of it the happier they will be.

Thanks for reading.