I want to thank all contributing members of the Red Pill community for improving my life. Thank you, thank you and THANK YOU thousandfold!

TLDR version: You taught me to forgive myself for making bad choices, to love and respect myself, to accept my own needs and start believing in myself. I'm not a freak, but a normal, healthy human male. Those things have nothing to do with women in a direct sense, yet girls are an amazing byproduct of my metamorphosis. Today I have a stable social life and see only good days on the horizon. I'm a person I would spend time with if I met myself. You destroyed me... then helped me reforge myself. Thank you.


Back-story: I'm 24 years old from Bosnia, and I was a school-book example of a bitter beta male before stumbling upon this subreddit. I was resentful, dishonest about my intentions, angry and hated women for not giving me any validation. I was a pathetic orbiter, resenting the women I pretended to befriend. I despised all men that slept with them. Mind you, I'm was far from being a loser - I had a stable job, plenty of cash in my pocket and ranked success after success in my career. Yet my social life was non-existent. I spent my youth studying and investing in my job (I'm a software developer).

How I died: Social retard that I was, I began grasping some basic RedPill rules when my girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me. She was financially dependent on me - I fed her, payed for her rent ... yet she took the risk of fucking someone without a heartbeat. Sad part? I was saving for a ring... I planned to marry her...

I wanted to swallow the Red Pill, but couldn't understand it, because I didn't have enough experience. Only thing I did was grasp some basic rules that governed our social lives. Yet once I confirmed them, those revelations destroyed me.

"Are women really that simple and 'animalistic'? How was it possible that they are not the holy beacons of morality and honesty that I considered them to be? Why won't they stay on the pedestal?"

Over time I withdrew from the world and stopped trying... I turned to a depressive, empty husk of a human being, a haunted wraith of jealousy and envy. You couldn't squeeze a drop of happiness from me. As far as I cared, world could burn to ashes and I would celebrate it. I felt my life was wasted. Dying alone and unwanted was something I accepted. I cried my heart out, longing for a simple hug or a kiss... it was months since a woman touched me.

I watched the girl I started orbiting after she left her boyfriend of 8 years... she went to ride the cock carousel for a full year and fucked men that were absolute train-wrecks, but had "game". She met them in bars, went to make out with them in matter of hours and would proceed to fuck their brains out for several days after that. They literately wouldn't leave the apartment. She even told me the details... I wanted to strangle her... After riding miles of cock, she went back to her beta boyfriend and now they are engaged... I feel bad for the poor guy... if only he knew...

The phoenix: I watched that in agony, hating myself for not being man enough. Burning with hatred so fiercely, I joined the gym after 2 years of being idle and fat. There was an uncontrollable urge to lift because there was to much negative energy inside me, which fueled me with endless supply of energy. Regular cardio-exercise was another things that became a priority in my life. Eating healthy was the next logical step.

Transformation started happening, but I was still very rough - I decided to become a "selfish jerk". It was feeble attempt of imitation of the "bad boys", as I didn't know about red pill back then. I was composed of negativity and bitterness. It devoured my soul and made me a horrible human being.

One day I googled some key words and stumbled upon this subreddit. Gold mine... fucking gold mine of data and it was under my fingertips... I devoured the side-bar links, and kept reading... day after day... link after link... I't became an obsession...

The Red Pill: Information presented here was worth my weight in gold. Everything I pondered in my head suddenly became clear and well explained. A shape was given to formless ideas. I had an epiphany after epiphany, flashback after flashback. Everything started making sense. Little details I never noticed or understood became important. Smudgy and unclear social landscape started gaining texture. My world came crashing down and reforged itself in matter of days. I felt that fog was lifted, broken mirrors were patched, and lenses I saw the world trough finally focused. I felt awake.

Most important lesson to me was that of self-respect. Members of this subredit have a healthy, no-bullshit way of expressing themselves. What seemed to be external cause of problems, became internal... there was work to do...

Joy: Fast forward few month and I am a happy person. Happy with myself, accomplishments and direction that my life is heading in. I maned the fuck up, gave the finger to my old boss, quit my job and moved to a much better company. My salary increased by 50% and I have benefits I never dreamed of having. I LOVE my job and my mission. It sustains me. I'm comfortable with who I am. I've set healthy boundaries for people around me. No longer the doormat that puts the needs of others before my own. No longer am I attaching my self-image to stuff or ideas, but rather to my sense of inner worth.

And lo and behold, ladies noticed it. It was gradual, but they payed attention to me. What used to insult me, now I recognized as shit-tests and was so proud of myself, because it showed that they actually were attracted to me. I started doing the counter-intuitive, and started playing with them and asking them awkward questions in a playful manner. They seem offended and threw shit tests, yet they laughed and continued the conversation, touching and orbiting me.

It's a game... and now I know the rules. I'll be honest - I heaven't "closed the deal" with any of them yet because I'm still not as smooth as I want to be (learning to maintain my frame), but you know what? I'm learning. I'm having fun. Talking, laughing and enjoying other people. It's so simple yet so empowering. For the first time in years, I can say I enjoy my life.

In few weeks I will be moving to another city and it will be a perfect place to start over. I will keep my body healthy, lift weights and be honest about my needs.

New life, here I come!