I'll keep this short and sweet- Woman's definition of love...

kevkos · 2015-03-11T20:48:47+00:00

Sorry about your divorce. :(
Congratulations on getting divorced! :)

Your life is about to explode with opportunities and freedom.

trplurker · 2015-03-11T22:16:00+00:00

Women are incapable of loving you the way you love them, it's simply not in their biology. Nature played this cruel joke on us as a way of ensuring men had both the rampant sex drive to force competitive breeding and the tendency to provide for the women and her child.

Most men need to stop and think about where these instincts were developed. Whenever a human female gets pregnant, its a very long and dangerous event loaded with a very real possibility she will die. The latter part of the nine month gestation period has her severely handicapped, the birth itself is messy as there wasn't any sterile environments in our distance past. The women would lay down and shit out a bloody baby that was little more then a parasite for another four or five years. They needed male assistance to survive and nature answered by giving men this weakness.

So whenever we feel "love" we need to remember it's natures way of trying to get us to provide for women and children. Not a bad thing if it's our progeny and we have emotional control over the women, but it can give birth to romantic delusions of grandeur. People need to stop blaming women for nature.

Ambiguousdude · 2015-03-11T19:40:36+00:00

Hahaha this is so true. I remember years ago I told a girl I was in an LTR with "I love you, but I don't need you." She was shocked and could barely process the information. Now I realize it's because in order for a woman to love you she must need you. If you love her but you don't need her she doesn't understand what you're saying.

redpillbanana · 2015-03-11T19:58:15+00:00

From the old thread about FuckedCompany:

I just wanted to re-iterate something. It’s not that women love you because they need you. Their love IS their need. They are the same thing. That is all their love is. They invented the word “love” and replaced it over the more honest fact of their need, and surrounded it with all this fictional bullshit, a hundred years back, to better trick men like you into committing to things without knowing what you’re getting into.

They don’t love “you” at all. They love the image of you, what you provide to them that they want or need, what fantasy number you can help them check off of their internal list. If you look at a women’s life…her series of lovers that she takes…the high-school boyfriend, the college professor fling, the Harley-driving boyfriend, the rich stock broker boyfriend, the solid child-raising husband…

All of the guys she “loves” are just a set of internal fantasy men that she has in her head from adolescence. When she finds a convenient guy who happens to fit a fantasy, she acquires him, experiences him, fucks him, whatever, so she can check off one row of her mental list of fantasy conquest boyfriends. In most cases if you ask her what the guy was actually LIKE, what he thought, what he cared about, etc, it’s unlikely she even noticed. His actual thoughts were irrelevant. His wants and needs, his dreams, weren’t something she was even conscious of, except to the extent that his dreams were part of her fantasy of him. He wasn’t really a human being at all, in her view.

Many women really view men as horses, and they are the riders. High-strung, maybe beautiful horses yes, but in the end, just animals to help them achieve their goals.

redpillta · 2015-03-11T19:47:55+00:00

Now I get why Han solo said "I know" when Leia said "I love you" haha

GunsGermsAndSteel · 2015-03-11T19:12:03+00:00

OP is on point. Female love is solipsistic. A woman will love you based on how you make HER feel, not because of who you are. Mothers are the only possible exception to this rule.

GunsGermsAndSteel · 2015-03-11T18:49:45+00:00

This is probably the most succinct and accurate way of describing a woman's love I've ever seen. Thanks for the insight.

RedPillDad · 2015-03-11T20:19:16+00:00

Your nuts are currently stuck in the meatgrinder of divorce. But for the young romantics out there, read The Predatory Female by Lawrence Shannon (search for the pdf).

Here's a quote: "Little of the mayhem could occur without the endless army of men, untutored in the predatory female, queuing up obediently for destruction. Blinded by steam from their own gonads, they stumble ignorantly into relationships with women and later awaken to find themselves trapped in an ever deepening pit of emotional, legal, and financial quicksand."

Truebluehere · 2015-03-11T18:54:26+00:00

I believe it to be rather true. I got out of my most recent LTR. When she finally said those words, I laughed it off in my head. I knew what it meant. She was rather beautiful, nice face, nice body, Masters, etc...I wasn't teetering on the Unicorn yet, but as time passed, I committed myself and said I Love you back.

Her I love you eventually changed. I couldn't hold frame. In short, during my commitment, I forgot what I Love You meant from a woman, thinking that because I was repeating it, it had the same meaning to her. I was wrong, and will forever be wrong. I lost frame, I lost the definition of love because I became to needy, enthralled by love.

Never forget les garcons.

denmaur · 2015-03-11T21:25:33+00:00

One of the happiest days of my life is when my divorce was final. I wasn't weepy with glee, I didn't party with friends; my happiness transcended worldly signs of happiness. It was as though my soul traversed a level in the Mayan World Tree.

Stick to it, do everything as well as you can. Protect the children, if there are any. You'll get through it.

the_red_scimitar · 2015-03-11T19:42:01+00:00

When a woman says "I love you", what she means is "I need you".

Eh... I would also say they mean "I love the way you make me feel [about myself]". Although that kinda falls under "I need you [for self-validation]".

vandaalen · 2015-03-11T20:51:43+00:00

Spot on. I'd like to add a couple of things though.

As a male you actually have a desire to be needed by a woman, to become the protector of a protegée. It might not be present all the time and buried somewhere deep inside of you, but it is there.

I am sure many of you who suffered from oneitis in their BP-days actually badly wanted to protect their special snowflake from any harm. May it be from Cocky McAlpha-Douche, who'd just be going to hurt her, or in many cases even just herself. Many of those guys tend to fall for mentally damaged women, whom they believe only they've got the sensitivity and power to heal.

The process of unplugging yourself must also inevitably involve realizing that you should never get into a position where you become the one needing a woman for just anything.

Developing an abundance mentality, both for sex and for feels, is probably the most important part, closely followed by becoming self-sufficient and getting rid of the need for external validation as good as possible.

If you choose to commit to a woman you should make it because she has proven to be worth it and in a concious thinking process, and not just because you think that you haven't got any better options and she's the one and only who's able to satisfy your needs and desires - your personal unicorn.

IllimitableMan · 2015-03-12T00:29:44+00:00

Woman's love is pragmatically parasitic, man's love is sacrificially idealistic.

closetothesilence · 2015-03-11T22:09:18+00:00

Yup, exactly. I used to be told "I love you; I need you." In my last real relationship (BP days) and then I got injured and lost my job. Two months later she jumps ship after 4 years and less than a year later is engaged.

andres7832 · 2015-03-11T22:34:12+00:00

You want love? get a puppy.

JP_Whoregan · 2015-03-11T19:57:05+00:00

She is never "yours". It is only "your turn".

Ultimate_Failure · 2015-03-11T21:17:13+00:00

When a woman says she is committed to you (for example in her wedding vows), it only means at that moment she can't conceive of wanting to leave you. It is not a statement about the future, in any way.

Meninismx · 2015-03-11T19:00:19+00:00

Expected a bitter post after you mentioned your divorce, but this really hit home.. upvote

NeoreactionSafe · 2015-03-11T19:35:43+00:00

A good way to look at it is that they "want" something from you (softer version of need) and use their Game (Charm) to get it from you.

A woman who uses Charm on a daily basis to get what she wants is signaling that her wants can be fulfilled by you.

The day she stops Charming you and switches to a Shit Test this signals that she no longer has full confidence that you will fulfill her wants any more.

When she stops "asking nicely" you need to worry.

Marriage 1.0 really was very hardcore because it gave all Power to the man and if a woman even attempted a Shit Test she might be thrown out on the street to become homeless. That was real need back then. (Dread Game by default)

Sorry about the divorce... there are plenty of guys who were Divorce Raped on this sub. (I never married)

Zanford · 2015-03-11T22:13:12+00:00

Need and RESPECT.

A woman may think she needs her beta orbiter's favors, or sugar daddy's or husband's buckaroos, but she does not respect him.

I would argue that if a woman sees you solely as a provider she 'needs', she doesn't really love you at all. She's just sticking around.

the_red_scimitar · 2015-03-11T22:41:46+00:00

That's why i instinctly say, "i know". Mainly because it's easy to do things to cause them to be overwhelmed with emotion, and say it. But without that, you may never hear it from them.

thenarrrowpath · 2015-03-12T03:04:52+00:00

Men love idealistically, whereas women love opportunistically

2015-03-12T05:50:40+00:00

I have found that if you pretend the phrase , "right now I feel that" to whatever declaration of undying emotion the woman issued, then you're spot on. "Right now I feel that I love you" is more accurate than before. "Right now I feel that I will love you forever" is even better.

It's made so many thing more straightforward and understandable.

RS73 · 2015-03-12T09:06:00+00:00

Women don't love, they consume. Shoes, phones, music and fashion trends, different trendy drinks or diets....dick. It's all a consumer experience where her desires and wants and emotions are what constitute truth and reality.

And when the product (i.e., you) is deemed less than some other product she now wants, then it's the product's fault that she no longer feels well served by the product. In fact, the old product might even be viewed as abusive of her or, at least, offensive for its comparatively reduced utility or fashion status.

sterlinghtsmi · 2015-03-11T22:02:03+00:00

Don't feel bad...i initiated divorcing my wife. People ask why I am divorcing her and I tell them, "if I stayed with her I would die lonely and unhappy, without her, I may die alone but I won't be unhappy."

the_red_scimitar · 2015-03-12T02:32:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

confuseacatlmtd · 2015-03-12T04:58:04+00:00

That's interesting. When I love someone, I think it translates to, "I want to take care of you." It guess I am still a little surprised it works differently for woman except for their children.

aazav · 2015-03-11T23:40:17+00:00

I love you = I love you until I get bored.

TW_RPAwake · 2015-03-11T20:42:30+00:00

A large part of my contribution to this community focuses on RP-marriage ideas and RP-child rearing ideas. My goal is to enable the most successful husbands and fathers.

As I read your words it is apparent that the positive outlook demonstrated toward the process of dissolving a marriage is vital. I hope to see more of your posts as the process unfolds. I know of no other period in a man's life in which they are susceptible to suicide than during a divorce and the aftermath.

Thanks for the positive words of wisdom

CalvinHobb3s · 2015-03-12T05:55:54+00:00

Doesn't it blow your mind to realize this is how women really think? To realize men conceptualize and emote what true "love" is. In the fairy tails we heard growing up, women were the ones who embodied the concept of true love.

RuAEOBro · 2015-03-11T19:46:47+00:00

Interestingly enough my first girlfriend said this to me either when we were dating or when I was breaking up with her. Her words verbatim were "I love you and I need you." To me that implies that they are jointly linked as you mentioned.

MattyAnon · 2015-03-12T02:49:22+00:00

Love for men is sacrifice and commitment.

Love for women is getting sacrifice and commitment from a man she's attracted to.

Think about it this way: what do women actually do for the men they claim to love? I put it to you that it is actually sweet fuck all. Some feeeeeeeels for sure, but nothing actually concrete or worthwhile that might benefit the man.

2015-03-12T07:06:56+00:00

Women don't love you, they love their attraction to you.

User-31f64a4e · 2015-03-12T11:52:20+00:00

When a woman says "I love you", she means one of these:

Vagina tingles. Your smv interests her.
Social status increased by associating with you. This is the trophy wife thing women project on men, but flipped. Men imho rarely get a hot wife to impress other people, they do it because she's hot and they want to fuck her. Women on the other hand are all about status. They actually do look for "trophy husbands", because for women status is important and where you are in the pack is important. They are not loners, they way many men are.
Nothing. It's a lie to secure a beta bucks.

Spacemage · 2015-03-12T14:24:52+00:00

I know men who's love for women are based on need. Need not to be lonely, bored, sexually frustrated. Will jump ship the minute a better catch possibly rears. In fact I know more men like that then women, to be honest.

I know more women who are committed to their men. It could be due to lack of better alternatives though. I feel like that's a tad bit of a generalization.

2015-03-11T19:32:06+00:00

Great fucking post. Excellent simple definition.

VarsitySlutTeamCpt · 2015-03-11T19:34:14+00:00

Thats why marriage is about fulfillment not about love.

My_Dog_Jax · 2015-03-11T19:54:09+00:00

Can someone show me the stat that women Initiate divorce at seventy five percent or more? I'd like to be able to back that up in conversations. I assume it's true but have never seen it.

Zazeon · 2015-03-11T23:55:04+00:00

I'm sure there are people out there that knows this about women but still choose to get married. What would cause someone to do that? Knowing that she is probably marrying you for the convenience, rather than marrying out of "love" is kind of hard to wrap my head around. I don't think I'll ever get married.

the_red_scimitar · 2015-03-12T04:00:48+00:00

I accepted this a long time ago, but it's important not to only point a finger. You need to look at how you and everyone in general uses the word love.

If I learned anything from philosophy debates and classes in college, it's that damn near every disagreement in an undefined argument comes down a difference in the meaning behind the words being used. When I talk about God do I refer to the same thing as when you talk about God? Maybe, but we can fight over every detail of God since that argument is undefined, though there is a general idea behind it.

It's the same with love. When you say "I love you" to ANYONE, you mean that you need them or are in their debt. That's the general idea, but the details are up for debate.

Here are examples,

Saying "I love you" to:

A parent (as a child) = You need them for everything. Food, housing, shelter, inheritance, self worth, and most of all knowledge. Any child that doesn't love a parent was taught not to need that parent.

Your wife = You need her to create and raise your children. This is biological life's primary goal and therefore it creates a strong love, or feeling of need. Other than that you may need her for company and entertainment or other things a life partner provides.

Your child = You need him/her to carry on everything you are into the future. The point of life is influence, a child epitomizes that through your genetics and your knowledge.

Your sibling = You need them for potential help in the future, assuming they have their life together. If your brother is a homeless opium addict, you'd only love him for the past memories (companionship or entertainment).

I've thought deeply about this and believe it wholeheartedly, but please give your opinion on my view.

the_red_scimitar · 2015-03-12T04:01:26+00:00

All the women I know who were happy with their marriage had a very traditional (passive deferment to husband) marriage.

The women I know who divorced many times didn't like listening to other people and serial married thinking somehow things would be different each time.

2015-03-12T05:15:05+00:00

only brothers show love, they will fight and die by your side

OilyB · 2015-03-12T10:15:02+00:00

"At any time, if that NEED vaporizes, she will be gone with the first puff of wind."

I concur, to my last gf, I was an asset to book profits. She couldn't appreciate me for who I am, just what I could give her. Even in making her feel good about herself, which she couldn't do on her own. She made a complete mess of her life and when I couldn't/didn't want to fix it, she was gone, with the words 'but I love you' - read: I have needs you were able to fulfill but not anymore.

She couldn't stand my downsides, because: they reduced her profits. She never counted her many own downsides though, because there were reasons to those... She didn't take her shortcomings into account and tried to make up for those (last six months were a true "Sam Co.", a shop inside of the relationship - complete disregard of my needs, including begging my family for money behind my back), she promised shit and never delivered, then she split.

To some women, a man is a business: no matter what reason or cause, if you don't make them a proper profit, you're no good. There's no room for your story. They're not in it for the experience or the journey with a human being, they're in it to climb their own ladder.

Remember: women prefer a "father/daughter" kind of relationship over a "mother/son" kind.

R4F1 · 2015-03-12T11:39:17+00:00

Women can only "feel", they cannot "love". What she means when she says it, is either a lie, or a lie wrapped in self-delusion. It is that feeling she has at the spur of the moment, nothing more & nothing else. When the moment ends, so will her feels, and she & her love will be out the door in a heartbeat.

On top of that, you have Disney Co. and pop-culture selling love™ and romance™ as a commodity. Why else is the gift-card industry and bridal industry worth billions of dollars? While Disney and Hallmark sell you love™, the average consumer who is yet to unplug from The Matrix, assumes that love leads to commitment. When in reality it is commitment that leads to love. Remember: AWALT; don't trust her words, trust her actions.

Why do you think arranged-marriages have historically been so successful? As arranged-marriages are quickly withering away in the third-world, the divorce rates are climbing up just as fast. The two are inversely proportional. As for the first-world, there are incentives for divorce on top of that, namely the State taking up the mantle of what was otherwise the husband/fatherly duties of a man. She no longer needs a man to provide for her or her kids, the State by way of welfare, child-support & alimony has become the new patriarch. Yes, the feminist is correct when she says there is a Patriarchy, it is the State. Call it Big Brother, Big Daddy, or whatever you will, but there's no denying it.

thereddespair · 2015-03-12T16:31:41+00:00

Yes. That is what a relationship is for in the first place is it not?

You have your needs as do your partner? You are together to provide for each others needs that are reliant on being given by another person. Love, what is love? Why don't you men define it, I'm curious. Love is the measure of the link between you and another entity. Just as how much you're willing to give for it, how much you want to strengthen it or even sever it. The motivation for this link, needs.

Men are not any nobler, as that goes for any human out there. Men women gay whatever-you-are. The only difference between people is how good we are in masking these needs, giving as little as we can to get ours, and redirect attention. What else, downplay? Make my needs more important than yours, that even if you cant get yours it's not big of a deal compared to mine? Lol.

It differs by the nature of what you need. Mens needs are simpler and easier to fulfill as by their nature, it is taken by 'them' from the woman. Women's needs are different, as is their supposed position - for it to be given to them.

Men, firmly commit? Lol dont make me laugh. Let's see that when you are in a position where your needs are not getting fulfilled at all. Lets say you dont get laid for a year? To commit is to give the person enough time to find a way to regain the ability to provide, adjusted by how dependable the person is. And what is proposed? Martyrdom?

To be human is to be selfish, that is our nature. Or any sentient being I'd imagine. Self righteousness, hypocrisy.

LukesLikeIt · 2015-03-13T01:27:24+00:00

A women's love and a mans love are two different emotions that we labelled the same.

drkstrs · 2015-03-16T05:26:17+00:00

I couldn't care less about their evolutionary reasons for being horrible. 7 billion people is enough. Other considerations are now in play. We aren't now what we once were.

through_a_ways · 2015-03-12T02:39:15+00:00

And this is why women loved men more in the past.

Technological progress is objectively antagonistic to nearly all men, as far as sex goes.

refriaire · 2015-03-12T00:14:37+00:00

In my beta days I would have been horrified... now my reaction was: "YES! YES! YES! Totally and absolutely right on!"

Live and learn...

drqxx · 2015-03-12T02:01:42+00:00

I divorced my wife

Cause I no longer need her.

surfjihad · 2015-03-12T03:39:35+00:00

Good luck with divorce buddy, were all pulling for you. Don't give an inch or she'll take a foot. And the only foot she should get is in her ass out door

2015-03-12T03:59:58+00:00

And welcome to the red pill..

Idontlikekarmawhores · 2015-03-12T11:58:06+00:00

What you say is totally true but I recommend you guys not to dwell too much on it. Just remember that for a relationship to work she has to need you more than you need her (emotionall), financially you should never have someone depending on you.

Moldy_Gecko · 2015-03-12T13:42:05+00:00

Isn't this already in the sidebar?

bsutansalt · 2015-03-12T16:06:46+00:00

When a woman says "I love you", what she means is "I need you".

Yup. I suspect this is why women are able to turn on dime wrt how they feel towards a man the moment a better prospect arrives in their periphery. Most women can come off as some type of psychopath and cold hearted when this happens, which I suspect most men have experienced at some point in their lives when a woman who is supposedly so in love immediately does a 180 and latches on to some new guy (branch swings). You may not know about the new guy, or in some rare cases there isn't one and it's because of something you did (like crying or a mega "beta" event on your part), but you know the 180 I'm speaking of, which is the abrupt changing of feelings towards you.

boffadeeez · 2015-03-12T16:31:33+00:00

For anyone else who was curious about the statistic "75-80% of divorces are initiated by the wife" Psychology Today says that from 1867 to 1995 68.9% of all cases were initiated by the woman. I'm sure more recently the percentage is higher, but it also shows that this is nothing new

the_red_scimitar · 2015-03-12T17:27:59+00:00

The last thing I want is to be "needed" by a woman. If I can't stir her to want me, that's the end of it.

But very definitely different on what it means to love someone. Their hypergamy makes that a very different statement than when men say it.

alpha4ever · 2015-03-12T19:16:06+00:00

No. Woman do not love you because they need you. That's beta thinking. Becoming the ultimate provider will NOT make women love you. If she needs you at all, stay the fuck away from her.

Women need to nurture and give love. They will glow like embers when you let them. But they don't want to serve a weak, little faggot. They want to worship a man.

Likewise, "I love you" from a man does not mean "I'm firmly committed to you". I love lots of girls, but I'm sure as hell not firmly committed to any of them.

Kids, don't take advice about women from a guy who's wife is in the process of leaving him for another man. And OP, keep quiet until you get back in control of your life and actually have some legit experience to base your ideas.

ClydeDrexlerDavis · 2015-06-30T23:36:47+00:00

Love is subjective. Women are demented

Redrog1 · 2015-03-11T19:02:18+00:00

That's a funny one because the other day they where playing in the radio one of my favorite songs from last summer. There is a chorus of women that at one point says something like: "Honey, I need you, hence I feel for you". I though it was very red pill.

The whole song has very simple words but they are quite red pill.

CapnDancyPants · 2015-03-11T23:25:12+00:00

As a man, I have always differentiated "I love you" from "I am in love with you" and I make this clear to ladies from the start. Still probably want to

Also, I hate "I love you too," especially the first time you hear it from the other! I prefer something like "I know", "sweeet", "right?" etc. then I'll bust it out to her when I'm good and ready. By then she's usually in on the whole game so it makes it all more fun, too!

scwizard · 2015-03-16T20:36:53+00:00

I don't think this is true.

EDIT: I say this because I've met some girls that are looking for a guy to devote themselves too completely.

-iucking_fdiot- · 2015-03-12T05:08:19+00:00

That's why about 75-80% of divorces are initiated by the wife.

Is that a real statistic? What are your sources? Wouldn't that also imply that 75% - 80% of divorces are caused by men? Is this even something you can say with certainty?

What about women who marry men who make less money or have children of their own already? What makes you assume all women need a man?

a1-b2-c3 · 2015-03-12T01:00:11+00:00

When a man says "I love you", he means "I am firmly committed to you".

hahaha. priceless that this sub believes this.

DGer · 2015-03-12T03:14:25+00:00

Sometimes I think this sub gets their head a little too far up its own ass. I think this thread is one of those times.

Title	I'll keep this short and sweet- Woman's definition of love...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	793
Comments	257
Date	March 11, 2015 6:29 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2ypdec/ill_keep_this_short_and_sweet_womans_definition/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/ill-keep-this-short-and-sweet-womans-definition-of.30107 https://theredarchive.com/post/30107