Recently I met my perfect 10. I was mesmerized by her beauty - I actually froze up in front of her during the middle of our first conversation (not typical of me). I am currently, and was at the time when we met, spinning plates (including my ONEitis), but for some reason I idolized this girl. Somewhere inside of me decided I had to have this girl. I wanted her more than anything. I fooled myself into thinking she was different, and I put her on a pedestal.
On the third date with my ONEitis we made dinner at my place, we watched a movie together, and we fucked for the first time. For the first time in a long time I was actually anxious (maybe even excited?) about having sex, as I had been idolizing and fantasizing over this girl for some time. Even though I was anxious I didn't spill my beans and kept my cool, and gave her a fuck she'll be hard pressed to forget - but I realized something when I was balls deep inside her: The sex isn't that great and neither is she. At this point she's no different than any other girl I've put into my bed who's spread her legs for me. After I dumped my load inside her my head started to clear a little and I could see that this girl I had been worshiping isn't any better than me, and I'm not a better person for fucking her. It doesn't make me a better friend, Man, or XYZ because I put my dick in some girl I was fantasizing over.
In addition I started to notice her imperfections, a birth mark, nervous ticks, less than perfect qualities. In my mind I had painted her out to be this perfect angel - but that couldn't be further from the truth. She was so attractive to me because she seemed out of reach, but now that I've had a taste I know it's nothing special.
Another way I was misleading myself is that I was using my ONEitis for validation - "If I can fuck this 10 than obviously I'm the perfect chad that I've always wanted to become." I was looking for acceptance through someone else's eyes, but when I finally got it - it didn't change who I was as a person. Having a beautiful, young girl on your dick or around your finger may win the admiration of needy guys and make other girls jealous - but it doesn't make you a better person.
I've read a few posts on TRP about ONEitis. They're usually written about the girl we can't have, or the girl that's out of reach. So maybe this can give a bit of a different perspective on the topic. Sometimes when things seem just out of reach we want them more because we can't have them. Sometimes if we never see what she's like up close, we'll never be able to see through our ONEitis tinted lenses we're viewing her with. She is just another girl. She's not perfect, I just refused to see her as she really is. The only thing special about her is her looks - and she really doesn't bring anything into my life except another hole to fill. The morning after her phone was blown up with messages from beta orbiters telling her good morning and asking her how her night was (great thanks to me, and thanks for asking). These guys were idolizing her the same way I was by putting this girl on a pedestal and refusing to see her as an equal (or less). They're wasting their time. They don't really know this girl, they just want the fantasy figure they've painted inside their minds.
So if you have a ONEitis you're fantasizing over right now, take a quick moment and consider that she's just a normal girl with above average looks (or just really good at putting on makeup). She has flaws and imperfections - you just haven't known her long enough for them to come out, or you're refusing to see them. Literally the only reason I wanted this girl was because of something that was completely irrelevant to who she is as a person - good genetics. She has flaws and insecurities just like any other girl. She's not perfect and makes dumb choices. She's just looking for her Chad - just like every other girl. "We see the world (girl), not as it (she) is, but as we are."
Edit: I would like to stress the importance of spinning plates and having options. It has helped me greatly. Not only for the abundance mentality, but being able to compare her to my other plates has helped me put things into perspective - but having plates didn't prevent me from developing ONEitis in this circumstance.
Thanks for reading and if anyone is struggling over their ONEitis right now I hope this post helps you.
Bitter
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