Reminder: Neediness is THE Most Unattractive Trait 931 upvotes | December 30, 2017 | by becoolstaynschool ------------------------- Often times when giving advice to new guys just starting out, the general mantra is, "Be confident, have abundance, increase SMV, don't be needy". The first and most important of these by far is minimizing neediness. There are so many times in the past where i've fucked things up being needy. At first the girl was interested and excited to hang out, then due to the fact that I was constantly hitting her up and inviting her out, that excitement and attraction faded INSTANTLY. Oneitis and abundance mentality aside, there's a reason that RSDTyler has said "The best thing to do when you find a girl you really like is to find five others."; the dynamic in a relationship (guys and girls) entirely revolves around value and investment. By texting those girls, and further by inviting them to hang out on the weekends instead of letting them initiate first, I demonstrated that I was overly invested in them and they lost interest. On the flipside, if I went out and spread my time and attention among other girls, the scarcity of my attention and investment becomes more apparent and thus the attraction continues and increases. NEEDY THINGS YOU DO AND NEED TO CUT OUT ASAP: * CONSISTENTLY texting her first. Don't bullshit yourself--girls have their phone on them and are using them literally 24/7. If you've initiated first in the past and have went out before, then leave the initiating to them. If a girl is interested she can and will text first. By hitting her up first all the time you're showing that you're way too invested. If you absolutely have to text her first (you don't), leave at least two weeks between contact minimum. * Getting mad when she flakes or doesn't want to be with you She doesn't want to come out tonight? WHO FUCKING CARES?? Doesn't matter if she was your only option, your reaction should be "Alright have a good night!" and go out yourself or with someone else. A girl or (guy) is and should simply be a positive addition to your life, not the sole component in whether or not you can go out and do things. Conclusion: Build yourself into something other people can invest in and be reluctant to invest in others. BE A FUCKING MAN AND REALIZE THAT THE ONLY PERSON YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON IS YOURSELF. ------------------------- Archived from https://theredarchive.com/post/48031