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New gay guy could use some AltTRP advice (self.altTRP)

submitted by SixZeus

Hey everyone. I'm 26 and I've pretty recently discovered/accepted myself sexually. So now that I've started to pursue my true desires, I feel like I could benefit from the red pill, and am hoping some of the folks here can give me some useful advice. My reasons for turning to the red pill are a bit complicated, so forgive me if it gets a bit long, but here it goes.

I'm male, and while I'm attracted to the same sex, I utterly can't stand most of the gay stereotypes. I consider myself regular guy, and can't stand the feminine, flamboyant, or rainbow-covered things that most people associate with gay guys. I'm just a chill dude that's down to take a cock here and there.

Now I will admit, I'm not an alpha male by any means, nor do I want to be. I'm a total bottom, and while I wouldn't describe myself as submissive, I enjoy feeling dominated, if that makes any sense. While you may be thinking that makes me a terrible candidate for the red pill, the fact is that it's all rather selfishly motivated. I don't have any desire to serve or please others, I'm into these things because it gets me off like nothing else. I guess I want to take advantage of the fact that I enjoy giving other guys pleasure in that way.

Haven't been having much luck with the guys lately, so hopefully some red pill wisdom can help with that. I'm not really sure what the problem is. Things always seem to go well, but then the other guys flake or disappear on me. Would appreciate any tips anyone can offer. Feel free to ask if you have any questions or anything. Looking forward to being a part of this sub!


[–]gayboat87 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Honestly go with the lone wolf approach, show people you're doing more with your time, whether it's building a kickass cosplay or getting in shape for the upcoming cosplay.

Build stuff, cut wood, do chores till it's almost automatic. Once you show you're a strong independent guy who brings alot to the table and knows to how to make and fix stuff you'll have people approaching you.

Like on Grindr a PIC of you working on a bike or whittling can be sexier than another faceless torso.

People have this horrible counselor l concept that they are to be accepted as they are. The world doesn't work that way. You have the responsibility to build yourself up enough to be seen as a decent guy.

Abs and swag will get guys in bed sure but your marketable skills as a potential partner attracts the right kind of men.

Another thing you should not overlook is if you get along with someone but are not physically attracted to them.

Make them physically attractive. Help them workout, help them with their image. Just be a bro!

This way you'll nurture your instincts to be a better person around those you find attractive and most important you can get a nice guy out of it as a bestie or as a bf.

Finally join as many ngos or good causes you can. Keep on your feet. Don't get political. Join that aids mararthon or a big brother program.

Don't go for political socially sensitive rallies. It's OK to be political but that's a personal matter best not left on public display.

Finally when you go to a pride find the people who are passive and decent. You'll end better for it.

Tldr: Just don't make the mistake of trying to be the sexiest/powerful/richest guy in a room. Try being the most interesting person always and have interests.

[–]SixZeus1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks for the reply, very helpful stuff. I feel like I've got one half of the lone wolf equation down. I'm a very independent guy. I've got a good job, my own place, a badass car, etc. I keep my apartment clean, do my own laundry, cook quite well, am a pretty gracious person, etc. If this was simply about life skills, shit, guys ought to throw themselves at me.

When it comes to my interests though, I don't really have anything quite as photogenic as being elbows-deep in an engine. I'm a writer by trade (a damn good one, though I write corporate shit so it's not like I can tell guys to check out my book or anything like that), and mostly a gamer in my spare time (purely a hobby, I'm pretty good at a couple games but not going to blow anyone away with that).

Any tips on how to publicize those marketable skills in an effective way? It sounds like I've got all the right tools, I just don't seem to be taking advantage of them.

[–]gayboat87 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're a writer then show wit and quip. Be relevant and not condescending. Say cool shit like.... Throw yourself everyday like a dice at life.

Be like Confucius and Jesus. Use short to the point parables to get your point across or one liners.

You're a gamer right? Believe me most casual players like us do not have time to play against pros. We're better off having game nights.

So far I've gotten into motion gaming and I got a kinect and heavily invested in the just dance franchise. My friends and their friends come over for kinect games and just dance offs.

I just used what's in demand and synergized it with what I already had. I introduced my active athletic friends into motion gaming and they're happier for it. Just see the supply and demand in your area.

Finally do something hands on!! Get your hands dirty for a good cause, take up gardening or anything... What I do is I make a log and every year I commit to just ONE hobby. Like one year I'll learn about fixing cars the other year I'll be learning about climbing and wall climb.

Keep changing it up. Please do not this won't make you an ass magnet. You have learn to keep frame, show interest, give people openings to talk you. Men can be intimidated alot so make sure you're approachable and scare off all the guys swooning you.

[–]porkmaster 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

"Flake or disappear" doesn't necessarily mean you're doing anything wrong. Just hit up grindr or adam4adam and find a new one. When things work well enough maybe you'll find a regular or two?

[–]SixZeus 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

True, though it doesn't seem like a sign that things are particularly right either, 'cause there's been guys that I've felt like we were a pretty good fit. I can't deny being eager, though I don't want to come across as desperate, but at the same time, I do want to signal that I'm interested. I guess I'm just trying to find the right balance. Wondering what I can do to give myself the best chance, if not take control of the situation, you know what I mean?

[–]porkmaster 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I dunno. There are plenty of guys who are ok and there's nothing wrong with em but after fooling around id rather not again. Or don't really care one way or another. And some guys just like something new and different all the time.

[–]Jobby_jabber1 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

First you've got to identify what type of engagment you're looking for, be it strictly sex or LTR stuff. This will determine a lot of your game.

Next you've got to decide what kind of partners you're attracted to. You mention not liking the rainbow brigade, so I'm guessing you gravitate towards the more straight acting males. Since you've identified your preference for bottoming you're going to need to play to the role. A good top is going to occupy the masculine/dominant energy of a sexual encounter. Things work best when you function as the feminine/submissive ying to that yang. No, that doesn't mean start acting fay, but does mean employing some female sexual strategy. Doing that is a whole topic in it's own right which /u/should_ has covered in more depth than I could hope to. Sexual Polarity is a good place to start.

All that aside, the unfortunate reality is that an alarmingly large portion of the gay male population is off it's rocker with this feminie bull crap. There are non-scientific studies that point towards straight acting males as you describe yourself being the majorty, but that's not been my experience. Set your expectations accordingly.

[–]SixZeus1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

Sexual Polarity was a great read. Very enlightening. According to that, I've been going about it all wrong. Unfortunately, the consistent advice I got from it seems to be "do nothing." It's very hard to see that as a successful strategy. Seems to me like do nothing would more often than not simply result in nothing. Anyone have any experience in this area? I'd love to know if anyone's really having success with the do nothing strategy. I guess part of the problem is that I don't really feel like I'm being chased in the first place. I just have a nice time, want to see the guy again, and admit that honestly.

[–]Jobby_jabber 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

You've got to be pretty high SMV to us the sit and look pretty strategy. And even then, you're probably not going to get the best options out of it. Being proactive is not such a bad thing. What matters is how you play your cards once you're one on one with a prospective partner.

I'm talking from the other side of the fence here, mind you. The guys I've found most attractive have been the ones that play along with the dominance game. When they let me play my part and they play theirs things go good. When a guy seems like he should probably be the one topping me but still wants to bottom, it feels off. Beyond that, who seeks who isn't that much of a factor.

I guess what I'm saying is if you get a prospective interest, let them play their role. If their any good they'll move things along nicely.

[–]SixZeus1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, in the past I've definitely tended towards being a bit forward, for fear of missing out/letting them slip away. Maybe it comes across as clingy, I don't know, but whatever the problem, it hasn't really been working well. I guess I just fear that the whole thing will just sort of die if I let it remain stagnant or wait for them to make the moves.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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