TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

7

The Gay Wall (self.altTRP)

submitted by skrewyaaai

http://archive.is/nkOAy This paragraph summarizes everything: "Sigh, so i was never really attractive, but when i was 18 with hair i was kinda cute, kinda twinky. Now though im 27. I cant grow facial hair to save my life. I cant bulk up to save my life. Those two things seem to be the staple of the bald man and i assure you i have tried my damndest to make it happen."

So gentlemen, the wall is very much real, even for us homosexuals. And guys with twink-ish bodies at the age of 27+ seem to have it very rough. Factor in some baldness, and you may very well be rejected 30+ times.

Start lifting.


[–]jmottram084 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Eh

I mean...I disagree that he "can't bulk up to save his life".

I also kinda disagree that a non-fat 27 year old isn't getting laid. Maybe he won't have people throwing themselves at him like a 21 year old, but a gay guy saying he can't get laid? please. Talk to a straight guy in a similar situation and compare how easy sex it to get.

Tbh the only reason anyone ever gave me a chance was because i looked passably cute.

The RP response here is to be a better person. Hobbies, interests, wealth, etc etc etc.

You are still a man, stop acting 100% like a woman that has hit the wall.

[–]SFesq3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This happens to anyone who coasts on their 20yo looks instead of improving. It DOES hit gays and women harder because young gay men and women are valued for their youthful beauty more than young straight men. Thankfully as gay men we can avoid it by lifting, pursuing a career, developing skills and hobbies, etc. we can also avoid I by beginning to embrace our inner "daddies." Gay skinnyfat femme bottom 30yos are a dime a dozen. But if you've spent your 20s lifting, pursuing a career, and transitioning from sub bottom boy to dom top you will be even more sought after at 40 than you were at 20.

[–]ProudOppressor3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

At 24, I'm already starting to lose my hair. I will likely be bald by thirty, and my beard is OK but not full enough for the classic daddy look. This is why I lift. I recognize that getting swole takes years (I expect it to take another 2 years, at least), but playing the long game will pay off. I'm not a fan of the V-shaped body builder physique (my hips are too wide anyways), so I'm going for more of a rugby build. Compound lifts like bench press, squats, deadlift. The goal is to look like Steve Raider: http://imgur.com/T5m3zAj I doubt that he gets turned down often.

[–]Jobby_jabber 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link

/U/jmottram08 pretty much said it, but I'll say it again in my own words and claim it as mine: Men can compensate for flaws by developing other aspects of their person.

This bald guy listed a couple things he tried to do to compensate for his perceived short coming and then wrote them off as impossible. Well, mayeb they are or maybe they aren't. Doesn't mean he couldn't try other methods of improving his SMV.

Women hit a wall because their SMV is almost entirely based on physical appearance. Being rich or funny or even just a good human being doesn't get them as far as being pretty. Men can and do regularly leverage other traits in place of physical appearance.

Aslo, women hit the wall because they've never had to jump any hurdles before. Ugly or fat women often take the male strategy of growing a personality to compensate. Older women don't always try that because the idea of trying is alien to them.

Baldy is not a menopausal women so he should stop acting like it.

Also I just want to point out the three comments on that post all gave the same "bald is beautiful, you go girl", response. How useless is that?

[–]skrewyaaai1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've noticed it too. Must be the gay male hamster.

[–]Narrowminded1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not useless when what you said is pretty much a rewrite of what's already been said.

Your post is really just a glorified way of saying "Being bald is fine, get some confidence and work with it", which is practically what everyone else already said.

You didn't actually give any actual methods of trying, you just said "well, he could try some non-specific things and maybe something will happen". How useless is that?

What are you honestly suggesting? He start becoming funny? How does one do that? What else is on your list - he should start becoming rich? I don't follow.

If he had these other traits locked down so well then he probably wouldn't have ever had a reason to make this post to begin with.

The fact of the matter is that he's bald. It's the hand he's been dealt. He can either start playing his cards with confidence or he can just keep folding. Your last sentence makes you look ridiculous.

[–]Narrowminded1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Different strokes. Never stopped being a thing. Define great hair. For every person with "great hair", there's two more that simply have "hair".

What does this post even mean? If you were 500lbs I'm sure you'd hit a "wall" as well, if you had acid poured on your face and recovered through some intense surgery I'm sure you'd hit a "wall" as well. I'm certain there's a "wall" for those who're wheelchair-bound or missing a limb, too.

There's walls for all kinds of shit and it really doesn't need to be said because it's really, really obvious.

I disagree that being bald is one of these walls. I've seen plenty of bald men pull off the look and appear very attractive whether they were skinny or fit. It's about the way you compose yourself and your mentality. It's very clear that this person went into these situations with intense doubts and it probably showed in his confidence. We all know that confidence is sexy. Unless you're someones absolute ideal, confidence is a requirement.

Baldness is a wall about as much as literally everything else is a wall. Being too short is a wall. Being too skinny is a wall. Being too fit is a wall. Being too fat is a wall. Not being skinny enough is a wall. Not being fat enough is a wall. All because the gay community in particular is full of diverse people with diverse ideals.

The wall can be climbed if you let confidence be the ladder.

[–]jack_hammarred0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know tops who are hitting walls, too, and tops who are afraid of hitting walls because "25 is old in gay years." I don't think the wall is exclusive to any gender/persuasion/tribe at all.

It seems to me the wall is as much an external as an internal issue based both on your own perceptions of your market value (of whatever variety) and your real market value. Whether you were on the carousel for a few years, a few decades, or never, as you age your values and desires shift along with the rest of you and the pressure to find your person gets painfully more intense.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter