How to become more successful in initiating sex? Share your strategies.

quantum_grape · 2018-10-06T16:47:42+00:00

But the STRANGE and frustrating thing is that she sometimes follows this behavior by denying me after she got me aroused and says "No, we have a lot to do today." then proceeds to lie in bed for 20 minutes when we could have had sex already, essentially leaving me blue balled after sucking me off for 10 seconds. I don't understand why she does this?

You're asking why she'd get you aroused, give a slight push back, and then lay there completely available to you? Really?

She wants you to be more assertive in taking what you want. Don't be a sperg about it, just tell her that the other shit can wait and escalate.

gettingmymojoback · 2018-10-06T16:55:05+00:00

I have no idea how far along you are but those all made me cringe. Reminded me a lot of my dead bedroom days.

The honest truth is that once you’ve done the work and she’s actually attracted to you, it doesn’t take much effort to initiate. She knows you want it and so does she.

Typical scenarios for me:

Night: Get undressed for bed, catch her looking at me like a fat kid eyeing a chocolate cake, get in bed, kiss, escalate, either she goes along with it or (rarely) she doesn’t....

Morning: Same as night, except I’m already in bed or returning from the washroom...and she has the same look...

Day: Send kids away, challenge her to a race up the stairs or throw her over my shoulder the moment the door closes. To keep her on her toes, mix it up randomly waiting until they’re just about to return, then carry her upstairs etc.

Be attractive, don’t be unattractive and it’s really not that hard.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2018-10-07T00:03:12+00:00

I dunno, man, my wife is the one who initiates more often then not.

She even just cut out quickly to go to Vicki S and pick out something scandalous to wear to impress me. Like 30 min ago.

I blame MRP for my predicament. It's like I STFUed, lifted, and read the sidebar. Who knew.

JacquesOffDerrida · 2018-10-07T00:56:09+00:00

I am a woman. I began reading this sub, the parent sub, and the RedPillWives sub in an attempt to fix my marriage (but not Red Pill Woman; that sub is a shitshow). I just read the community rules and saw that it is okay for women to comment and give advice on this sub, unlike MRP.

OP, all these men commenting are absolutely right. I thought that you might need to hear it from a woman. My husband and I were in the same situation as you until I read enough on here and MRP to become brave enough to actually tell him what I wanted. (Thank you to whomever said that women will do backflips to avoid telling men what they want in bed—that’s what made me realize that I should probably stop doing backflips and be a big girl and say what I want).

When you say that you escalate by rubbing her back harder and kissing her more, you’re killing it all. That is NOT escalating. That is boring and she’s tired of it. No sex is better than that kind of sex. I’ll say it again: For her, HAVING NO SEX IS BETTER than what you are giving her. She wants you to be a man, a dominant, aggressive man (but not necessarily mean- my husband had a hard time understanding that I don’t want him to be mean to me and yell when I finally opened up). She wants you to get on top of her, pin her down, and tell her what to do. If she pushes back or tries to wiggle away it’s because she wants to feel your strength. If she hits you a little or scratches she wants you to show her your strength. Tell her “no.” Tell her “stop.” Or just hold her wrists so she can’t do it. You’ll have to figure out what she wants when it gets to that. I can tell you what I want when I do that, but only if you think it would be valuable to you.

When she sucks you a little and then stops and lays there she wants you to take initiative. What are you going about it? You didn’t like that she stopped, did you? She wants you to order her back on or to physically put her back on her knees. It’s a game! Respond to her like it’s a game! Stop overthinking this. You’re thinking too much.

Don’t wait until you’re going to bed. I love sex now that things are not boring, and I would fuck every night, but if I’m crawling into bed for sleep it’s because I’m ready to sleep. You need to initiate earlier. Someone else said that you need to initiate throughout the day. This is exactly correct. You asked how. You must keep her always thinking about you. Slap her ass in the morning, grab her tightly around the hips, anything that isn’t so god damned sweet as what you’ve been doing with your luvy-duvy romantic sweet kisses. Stop that shit and save it for the cuddles after the dirty sex, because if she lets it get dirty enough she might need to know that you don’t think she’s some disgusting slut, and you can do that by holding her and kissing her sweetly AFTERWARD. Any time you can initiate dominant/strong/powerful physical contact throughout the day, do it! This will help lead into sex after the kids go to bed.

Stop thinking so much about what she wants. Get out of her head until you read enough of the sidebar and learn what women actually want, because you’ve got it all wrong. Listen to these men on here and the parent sub. Stop being so goddamned sweet. She doesn’t want sweet. She’s playing a game. Play along. Don’t ruin it. She’s likely afraid to tell you what she wants because she doesn’t want to scare you off.

Please don’t call me a faggot or crucify me for commenting. I only took pity on OP and his wife because it was the same situation for me and my husband a while back.

Sepean · 2018-10-06T17:22:43+00:00

Dude, if this approach was relevant it would be on the sidebar. You’re so misguided it isn’t even funny. She’s not some puzzle you need to figure out, and going about it like she is so fucking frameless.

Just increase your alpha. Once your SMV is up there, getting a BJ is as hard as unzipping.

Instructions are over there ->

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-10-06T16:41:32+00:00

Cringe worthy.

If you’re waiting until night to initiate, you’re doing at all wrong. Always be initiating.

I love strategies, but at one point when you develope into a real man, you have sex whenever the fuck you want to. It’s not a chess game anymore.

firstlight777 · 2018-10-07T04:40:07+00:00

How do you even have the nerve to post this. You have obviously never read pook, nice guy, or this sub enough. God damn cringe blue pill shit. Rub her back? Barf. They hate that. Lift. Make her wonder what you're doing ie have a life outside of her frame. Find YOUR frame. Do what you want. Make yourself attractive to other women, she WILL notice and she WILL fuck. Fuck her like it's the last sex you'll ever have. The next day she WILL shit test you, smirk at her, make a sexual joke, and leave. You have a long road ahead, keep reading here, the real RP sub and askmrp.

ReddJive · 2018-10-07T16:27:48+00:00

You know what is a really reat thing in the morning? A good cup of coffee.

I know what you are thinking. So many other things out there to enjoy, and maybe the caffeine isn't the best for me, but nothing bets that great cup of coffee. And it starts with picking the right beans. Most people just go, grab some coffee beans off the shelf or gawd forbid that shit from Starbucks (always smells like baby shit to me). But I mean get into where your beans are coming from, the flavor, taste. You can really make coffee a thing. I do. I prefer the details in my life.

I go through a process of making my coffee. Get some cream. Grind the beans, because whole beans are just better. There is a large amount of debate about it, but hands down…whole beans. Making sure the water is just right, to the right filters and ensuring my pot is clean.

It gets thoroughly taken care of every couple days. A lot things can build up in teh pot that could ruin a good cup of coffee.

Like in all things you have to enjoy the process. Learning a new skill, having some esoteric knowledge that maybe only a few people have, and then being able to create something as perfect as a morning cup of joe.

Now the key is that you go through the work and process of making a good cup of coffee. You can’t just buy the beans, and any old bean remember. You can’t just set it all out on the counter top. Dump out the grocery bag and then expect coffee to just magically appear. Even still you can’t buy the top shelf ingredients and expect someone else to just make you a cup of coffee.

You have to do the work.

Get up enjoy your coffee knowing that you built something.

Nothing like a good cup of coffee in the morning.

weakandsensitive · 2018-10-08T05:05:19+00:00

Hey OP - all of this advice, all of this advice you've gotten in this thread you want to agree with, remember that this advice applies to attractive men. It doesn't apply to you.

Just from your entire approach and the way you've responded, it's clear as day you aren't attractive. Remember, every unhappy wife is a rape victim.

JudgeDoom69 · 2018-10-06T16:38:34+00:00

Work on becoming more attractive, and you'll have more success regardless of the time of day.

screechhater · 2018-10-06T18:10:20+00:00

Back to the basics.....

Lift like your life depends on it

Be attractive, don't be unattractive

Book of Pook

"then proceeds to lie in bed for 20 minutes when we could have had sex already"

You poor needy, little omega boy. Waiting on her/being butt hurt to dole out the pussy is, at best, the most unattractive supplicating sorry assed excuse for a beta, I have read lately

[deleted] · 2018-10-06T21:05:23+00:00

You reek of fear and desperation.

I have a picture in my mind of you as a little kid standing on the edge of the pool, afraid to jump in because the water MIGHT be a little cold. So you dont do it.

If and when you DO gather the little courage you have to go in, you tip toe into the water timidly with a t-shirt on and signal to everyone you're not gonna be much fun.

You need to work on your game pre-initiation of course, that is obvious, but you also need to adopt a mother fuckin' kamikaze, give-no-fucks, "I'm on a suicide mission to fuck" kinda mindset.

For the next few weeks, try not doing the slow-building massage bullshit. When she gets into bed, just grab that blindfold or pair of panties you like and throw them at her with a "put this on" and smirk like the devil. She may reject you. Laugh it off, then give her a kiss with a "oh well, next time ;)". If you have the faintest whiff of butthurt on you, you fail. But you still win because for her itll be a little unexpected and therefore exciting. After you do it a bunch and that style becomes routine, well then you've become a confident man who doesnt overthink how to get the girl. And that my friend is attractive. I guarantee you will smash more often than not. (Assuming you have the basics of lifting, AM, etc down pat)

BobbyPeru · 2018-10-06T23:35:25+00:00

We usually say don’t plan sex, but on the weekends I offen start gaming her at night with kino, kissing, dirty talk, and telling her I’m going to hit it in the morning... she’s onboard the night before every time/ it’s never failed me. But, you might not be at that level yet- I rarely get any no’s these days.

In any case, the key is kino, gaming, and get a feeling .... you should always be able to tell whether she wants it or not, which basically eliminates hard no’s. Just don’t be autistic.

ParaXilo · 2018-10-08T04:51:47+00:00

This has to be a troll. Covert contracts out the ass.

It's ok. I fuck up too.

In reality it really isn't ok.

IRunYourRiver · 2018-10-06T20:22:49+00:00

You increase your success rate by increasing your sexual market value. The technique, unless you're really, truly terrible, is not that important.

But even if she isn't receptive yet, keep initiating. It does two things: 1) reminds her that you view yourself as a sexual being; 2) if and when she denies you, it's probably the best way to begin changing relationship power dynamics. Don't get hurt or sad, just roll over and go to sleep. If it's before work, make a joke about not being able to use your stand up desk that day. But first and foremost, it doesn't affect you.

Read, lift, sidebar, repeat.

[deleted] · 2018-10-06T21:53:15+00:00

I come in the room and shut the door behind me and lock it. Take her pjs off spread the legs spit on my dick stick it in. She will either put her phone down and say what are you doing or i take it and throw it across the bed and go to pound town. No massage no getting her ready. My dick does that and me getting mine gets her off more than anything.

Terminal-Psychosis · 2018-10-06T22:59:50+00:00

Be sexy. Be someone women want to fuck.

This isn't a metal problem to try and solve.

Sounds like you got some major work to do,

or, are wasting more time with a woman that isn't going to ever give you what you need.

Either way, you gotta change shit. Or not... but this crap is going nowhere, obviously.

She's laying in bed... and you're not jumping her bones.

God no wonder she's board of you and throwing so many shit tests.... and you've failed every one.

Go read the sidebar more.

InChargeMan · 2018-10-09T14:26:48+00:00

Cuddles are good. Sex is good. Cuddles are not sex, sex is not cuddles.

When you try to mix them up you are engaging in covert contracts. When you want to fuck, fuck. When you want to cuddle, cuddle.

If you mix these up it is confusing and stressful for her.

"Oh shit, he's rubbing his junk on me again. He probably is going to try to guilt me into sex in about 10 minutes. Maybe I can pretend to fall asleep before that."

vs.

"I love it when he holds me tight, it makes me feel safe."

"I love it when he makes me feel like he can't go on another minute without fucking me, it makes me feel attractive."

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2018-10-09T16:58:38+00:00

What the fuck?!? Are you trolling? Do you have any clue what this sub is about?

Sidebar faggot.

CaptJohnLukeDiscard · 2018-10-09T21:44:57+00:00

I tend to initiate by grabbing her, pinning her against something, and taking her clothes off. I then stick my dick in her or put my dick in her face and tell her to suck it.

After I'm done and she's a sweaty, smiling mess, I get her to sign a "that was fucking awesome and I enjoyed it thoroughly" form notarized by four independent witnesses including a gay feminist trans-man. This is 2018 and she's not gonna Kavanaugh my ass. #notmetoo