Drunk Captain Type 2 Questions

[deleted] · 2018-06-07T21:15:37+00:00

First off...you have a 6 month old daughter? If so, that means you swallowed the pill during your wife's pregnancy? If that's the case, SLOW DOWN. They say you shouldn't be doing much of any MRP related shit (besides lifting) until the baby is at least 1 year old.

With that said...

I had similar problems when I first started (swallowed the pill about a year and a half ago). My wife is an attorney who loves to be in control of shit and it took her a while to get on board with my new mission. At about the 9 month mark, shit hit the fan and we almost got divorced (I met with a divorce attorney for the first time).

Does she know you are ready to burn this whole fucking thing (your marriage) to the ground at any moment? Or is she confident her beta bucks isn't going anywhere because "he loves the kids too damn much" or that you are too afraid of getting divorce raped to ever leave her? She isn't afraid of losing you because you haven't given her a reason to be.

Lastly, if your wife is a cunt to you, people here will often say "be fun!", "smack her on her ass and give her a wink!" The fact of the matter is that shit doesn't work when you're dealing with a stubborn, angry bitch who hasn't been put in her place in years (forever?). The next time she treats you like shit, stand up for yourself. Take her to the side, away from kids/other people, and tell her how things are going to be.

Two examples of what I did when my wife crossed a line:

(1) She yelled at me to shut up in front of her mother and my kids. Doesn't matter to me why she did it or if I even deserved it. I asked to speak to her privately and when I got her alone I said something along the lines of "I don't know how your mother treated your father growing up (I actually do know, her mom was a royal cunt and is now divorced) but you will never talk to me like that again. Especially in front of my children. If you want to continue to disrepect me in that way, I will have papers for you to sign tomorrow."

Grow a pair and don't let her call your bluff. Meet with an attorney if you have to and get plan B (divorce) ready to be implemented.

(2) Recently my wife and I got into dumb argument. It got kind of heated and she called me an asshole. It's perfectly fine to call a dude an asshole, but god forbid a dude calls a chick something back, right? Fuck that noise. I responded with "You're right. I am an asshole. And you are a bitch. We can continue to play this name calling game if you want..." She looked shocked that I used the "B word" on her, yet I fucked her in the ass that night. Twice. Women LOVE to be put in their place. They HATE pushovers. Stand up for yourself more and see what happens.

Good luck and keep fighting the good fight.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-06-07T17:57:19+00:00

“Obviously it's not about the sock but she uses every action/event to create conflict. ”

From my experience, she resents you because she feelz like she needs to be the leader of the family. She thought she was getting a strong masculine husband but instead got you. She was forced to take the leader position and hates you for it.

Did you take charge of everything? Finances? Home? Decisions?

It does get worse before it gets better - because of the long history you have with her from being a beta husband- you should start seeing improvements approaching months 7-8. You need to be the dominate in Everything. Everything matters. How’s your dread?

It’s weird because you say she is DTF?

Something else in her history?

redgoldgreenblue · 2018-06-07T18:29:14+00:00

You don’t give us much detail on how you’re handling these shit tests. Bitching about a sock is no doubt a shit test. You say you laugh at her, but there’s a difference between mocking her for her stupid ideas and laughing awkwardly because your embarrassed and ashamed. Which was it?

Either way, my advice would be to grow some balls and call her out. Don’t be afraid to piss her off, which simply walking away to avoid confrontation tends to telegraph.

A simple “fuck off and stop micro managing me” will do ya wonders. And if she keeps doing it, well, hopefully you know how to enforce boundaries...

CaliEd256 · 2018-06-07T18:33:37+00:00

The 1000 foot rope is pulling on her, and she doesn’t like it? That would be my guess. Although seems like it would have happened earlier than 10 months.

You’re higher value than her, and she resents you for it? Tries to drag you back down to her pre-RP guy because of her insecurities?

Also, is she a stay at home Mom? Some woman hate it, and I can’t blame them. No sense of independence, crying children all day, changing diapers, almost zero adult interaction.

I would be angry as fuck if I had to stay home with two little kids.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2018-06-07T19:21:50+00:00

I think the part where you failed was when you told your wife you'll handle it.

At that point, she needed to understand that parenting by scream is NOT OK. You should have set your boundary there first.

wildnight98 · 2018-06-07T20:10:01+00:00

Hmm. Some questions from reading your post.

Are you stuck in the anger phase? Is it preventing you from leading, being the fun captain? Are you bringing the emotional reward home with you so she sees your return as something to look forward to?
Are you too compliant? Have you tried saying "no." when she tells you to do something?
Are you too autistic? You described a lot of good STFU but are you teasing her, using A&A and amused mastery? You're far enough along now that the crutch of STFU should be rarely needed. My wife quit many of her bitchy behaviors when my responses turned into teasing every time.
Are you leading? Showing and telling her the better way you want her to do things? "Honey, I would like you to discipline Johnny this other way and use less screaming." It's going to draw the argument but you just broken record through it. Then she knows what you expect.

RedPillCoach · 2018-06-08T16:02:13+00:00

My issue is not a DB or sexually related.

This is important and largely rules out the use of advanced Dread Game. The answer in 80% of these cases is better leadership and in 20% the solution is actually counter-intuitive to what MRP normally suggests to deal with a Dead Bedroom situation. That is, if the wife is not playing the sexual denial game, then the solution might be to lighten up and to show her more affection and kindness, especially after sex.

things are getting worse. I've have not had a nuclear level shit test but she continues to try and control me via negative emotions.

Have you considered she is not trying to control you but is reacting negatively to your negativity?

Have you considered her perspective? She has a man who made her sit in the Captains chair for years and now he suddenly puts down the bottle and what? He is going to dump her onto the ground and start issuing orders? How could she be anything but resentful?

Don't forget a Red Pill Axiom- Women are children. How would you treat your son if he behaved this way? You say you would use a gentle startup approach. You would not disagree with him, make him look bad, or yell or get into an argument with him. I would try that with your wife. You are still trying to "win" and in marital strife there are no winners. Only losers. Don't be a loser.

redgoldgreenblue · 2018-06-07T18:49:16+00:00

Started gaming and now practice catch and release

Are you gaming your wife as well? It sounds like she's looking for emotional engagement (gaming, being playful, etc). If you're not giving her positive emotions she'll try to force you to engage her negative ones.

I'm in a similar situation. Only about 8 months into my MAP and sex was never a problem even at my lowest, but I was a drunk captain (type 1) for several years. Course corrected, then overcorrected and as a result faced a slew of shit tests. The problem was that somewhere in the process of getting my shit together, I stopped being fun. Might be something to consider.

man_in_the_world · 2018-06-08T00:50:59+00:00

The root problem is that she doesn't respect you. Type 2 captains behave like servants, so they get no respect.

Once you stop behaving like a servant, stop acting like a bitch in response to her behavior, and develop your own frame, she should start respecting you and start treating you accordingly.

quentinthequibbler · 2018-06-08T03:46:42+00:00

Screaming at the kids is not cool.

tikitheman · 2018-07-17T10:19:07+00:00

I think you need to have some fun with her. I get the feeling that it is all work and no play in your household. Too much stress too serious. Have some damn fun.

Every morning when you wake up you should reset and just be in a happy cocky good ass mood. Pull the woman into your frame. No matter how shitty she acts maintain your happy cocky fun frame if you can't that day reset and try again tommorrow.