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9

Tips for initiating? (self.askMRP)

submitted by pursuing_the_ideal

Obligatory stats:

:--|:--| Week|2018-06-03 Age|early thirties Wife's Age|early thirties Years Married|6 Kids|2 Months RP|4 Height|6' Weight|196.6 Body Fat|30.0% Abs Visible|No 5x5|3 times last week Squat|125 Bench|120 Overhead Press|80 Dead Lift|160 Row|105 Dread Level|4 Number of Women Besides Your Wife You Could Call Right Now to Chill This Weekend|0 Name of Last Girl You Flirted with Who Isn't Your Wife|Natasha How Many Days I Actively Gamed My Wife|0 Two Things I Do to Make Me a Good Catch|Leader of men (run a team of 30), I do fun things with my kids and they love me What Would I Do If I Didn't Have Wife/Kids to Go Home To this Weekend|Work on projects with friends How Many More Months Until I Am an Attractive Man with Options|6 My Initiations|2 Rejections|2 Sex|0

I've been on the path for four months now. Subbing to the various RP subs and reading daily has been helpful to keep the principles at the top of my mind. I keep track of my progress weekly as that is how my mind works and how I accomplish goals. My body is transforming and I am starting to see a difference in myself and how I am treated by others.

Wanted to ask you guys about initiating. Before kids it was super easy to initiate sex, just had to pay her some attention and she would reciprocate touch and we were off to the races. Or even better, she would initiate. Unfortunately for me, I can't recall the last time she initiated, which is fine as I'm OK with that being my responsibility but I can't lie that would be a nice bonus. Now it's hit or miss if she will reciprocate touch or freak out when I get near her (e.g., "I don't want to be touched right now"). I actively kino throughout the day with the random shoulder massages, back scratches, and ass grabs. We are fucking ~0-2 times per week. My current method is to gym -> shower -> find her and start massaging her and taking her clothes off until I can seal the deal if she is receptive.

I asked my friend what he does to get things going and he said he just bites his wife's ass and that works like 75% of the time. Need to try that one.

Can you guys share some tips on how you initiate? I realize I may still be too unattractive to her to be initiating which is OK as I am fine going monk mode for a few months to work on myself.


[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You want her to initiate? Get down to your normal BMI.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You want her to initiate be receptive to your initiations? Get down to your normal BMI.

I used to yearn for her to initiate. It was part of my validation. Occasionally she does, but otherwise it goes back to the 'bull and the cow' mating story .....

(spoiler: the cow doesn't initiate, and the bull doesn't care)

[–]InChargeManRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

"Don't be unattractive"

Step 1: Cut your fat % in half.

Step 2: Post on here with questions on how to treat a dick that is sore from excessive fucking.

For real. Improving your game is important, but it gets a hell of a lot easier when you are in shape. You'll find that improving in these other areas will start to happen naturally once you have put in the work to get fit.

[–]RedPillCoach3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

just had to pay her some attention and she would reciprocate touch and we were off to the races.

Kino and Seduction.

It's not just for right before sex.

Initiation is completely individual to the relationship that you have allowed to develop. Some couples light a lava lamp. Seriously. Some actually talk and say things at the right time such as: "I plan on fucking you when we get home." Most guys just whine and cry until she gives him his twice monthly starfish.

Initiation is what Gottman would call "shared meaning" which I think he borrowed from Jung. Good marriages and good leaders (aka "husbands") create "shared meaning" that is unique to the relationship. A wife might unconsciously (she will swear up and down) wear her granny panties when she is avoiding sex. Wives are covert.

A husband can be direct. He might come out of the shower and drop his package in her hand when he initiates. or use his hard on to knock her kindle out of the way. Or snuggle up to her from behind. Or pick her up suddenly and throw her on the bed. Or learn to make eye contact a little hotter and longer than necessary and initiate nonverbally.

That's enough. I am not writing a fanfic porn story. Use your imagination but wake up and look for that shared meaning.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

My current method is to gym -> shower -> find her and start massaging her and taking her clothes off until I can seal the deal if she is receptive.

This is some passive, indirect, beta style initiation. Stop doing this shit.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For reference, at the same height, you’re almost 30lbs and 15% higher BF than I am. My GF (15yrs younger) sleeps nude so it’s easier to fuck. If she does come to bed wearing a thong, I’ll ask what she’s doing and then she takes them off. She rarely initiates and I don’t care - - because she’s always available. If she’s in my bed, she’s initiated enough.

[–]weakandsensitive3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nice effort on formatting.

Whip it out, say "Suck my dick babeh", go see a hooker.

"I don't want to be touched right now (by you)"

My wife is another story and has turtled up and it's really hard to crack her shell.

WOW. Fuck guys. This guy has a unicorn. His wife is so special and different than all those other women who IOI him! THAT SUCKS! What a lost cause.

I can't fucking imagine why a woman wouldn't want to fuck a 30% body fat tub of lard.

[–]johneyapocalypse1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The 25% photo looks worse than the 30%.

OP should spend less time formatting and more time cutting.

Unless he can format his fat. That may work.

Fuckin' fat formatter.

[–]robertwservice19741 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Plant the subconscious seed by occasionally inserting cocky funny innuendo and double entendres into normal conversation. Then after an hour or two it's her idea.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I pick up my girlfriend like she weighs nothing and carry her to the bedroom. Usually works pretty well for me, and if she still turns me down at least I got some nice compound lifting done in my spare time, just make sure your form is good.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

You’re telegraphing your neediness to her by only using kino when you want sex. It’s creeping her out and she cringes when you come around.

You need to be Gaming her constantly. You wrote “0” for gaming her in your stats.

Do you know how to Game?

Also, why are your squats and bench so weak?

[–]CaliEd2562 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. All the way. If you only touch her when you want sex, she’s going to see you coming a mile away and it won’t feel natural.

As many other have posted, you’re currently fat. But to get down to 15% body fat, you’re probably looking at 6 months. Good to work on your game while you’re at it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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