Something to be said about seeing it first hand. You weep for a hope that died in theory, but now dies in practice. I would imagine it's like seeing your first shit test in real time, seeing a woman get turned on when you act like you're not interested, or seeing a woman cuddle up to you when you push her away, and push you away when you try and get close. It's like seeing an 18wheeler overturn on a car. Like a video of a skydiver whose chute doesn't open. One of those European parkour idiots who jump and roll off the edge of a 10 story building. Yeah, in theory, you knew all that could happen. But God damn if seeing it doesn't affect you still.

You could get angry. But that's not going to DO anything. I think a very far reaching but very difficult lesson to learn in life, for good things and bad, is to have the ability to go "yeah, that happened" and move on. A quote from a speech I listen to paraphrased: "Cowards die many times, but the valiant only taste of death but once. What's that mean that the valiant are never afraid? No, no. It means that they feel that fear...and they move forward."

Rare is the time in life where other people are going to revel or dispair with you, in that moment. I'm a defender when I play soccer. I don't have as much passing or shooting coordination. So when the stars align and I'm playing midfield because the team needs someone with aggression and stamina there, and I actually score a goal off a beautiful cross, an event that's only happened a handful of times in my LIFE, I'll get a nice job and high five from teammates, but inside I'm going BALLISTIC. "You don't understand, this is a big thing for me, I'm ecstatic." I think. But it's one goal in a social co-ed league. No one else really 'cares'. Same if you grab a number, or K close, or lose your virginity, or bench a PR, or get shot down, or made fun of, or ghosted, or you fail a job, or shit bang your head on the corner of a cabinet. "Yeah that happened." Move on.

There's also something to be said, however, of finding time to express that happiness or sadness. The stigma associated with showing emotion really isnt about the fact that you show it, its that you dont have enough self control to take it unto yourself, accept that it happened, put it aside, and handle the problem at hand first. It''s as if you don't have the capability to handle life. It's as if by showing it, you are asking the world to acknowledge your emotions as something they should notice. You're demanding empathy. We've all read NMMNG, and seen where that gets us.

I battle this problem with my daughters, who oscillate between showing negative emotion because life hurts them, and showing negative emotion because showing it gets them attention. As a father, this is one of the thinnest lines I have to walk. Because I'll be damned if my kids are going to be emotional leeches, but I also want to foster an open, emotional connection.

That cry had to happen. Because to you, those emotions are real. And you arent expecting anything from anyone because of it, because youve crushed that neediness long ago. But it's foolish to think that as a being evolutionarily designed to survive based on its instinct and emotion, that not allowing that emotion to happen is a way to go about life. Ideally, sure you wouldn't feel emotion. But that's not the way life is. The same way, ideally, women would behave logically. But thats not how life is either. You play the hand you're dealt. And the hand you were dealt is to live in a logical mind that has emotion chemically forced onto it. The bad emotion makes the good that much sweeter. The good makes the lessons we learn from the bad that much more impactful. We know that we are simply Pavlovian dogs responding to it.

It's why meditation is practiced. Why I take time after workouts to stare in the mirror and feel good about what I've done. Why you need to go for a walk every now and then. Otherwise what''s the point. If you yourself cant allow yourself to appreciate emotionally your own life, whats the point.

Even appreciation of success, and what you define as success, is constantly under attack. The advent of communication through the Internet has gifted us with the ability to get together and swap our notes on success. But the price is that much less often will you see someone come on and talk about what happens between success. The emotions, the failure, the down-time. We see 1000 men kicking ass and so when we feel overwhelmed, we compare ourselves as one man to the successes of 1000 men pieced together as some superman and I ask you how does that set you up for anything but "failure". And I'm not talking failure at a task in the life of one man, I'm talking when the bar of success has been raised so that failure is the inability of one man to perform to the level of ALL men combined. Michael Phelps is not an ace PUA posting on youtube. PUAs aren't corporate businessmen buying and selling companies. Corporate businessmen may not have unplugged yet and thus face emotional manipulation based on a faulty worldview. We aspire to be so much and we should...it's what keeps us driven. But it also makes it hard to find the off switch sometimes.

The point is, you're allowed to fail. You're allowed to have emotion. You're allowed to have downtime. You're allowed to cry. You're allowed to be your own judge for success and failure of goals, relationships, and your life. You're allowed to live that life based on a goal YOU derive that means something to YOU.

If your wife vanished tomorrow, if MRP vanished tomorrow, if every person in the world vanished tomorrow, what would you still be doing?

This wasn't really directed AT you RJ, just some thoughts.