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How the F did I end up a married beta having starfish sex twice a month? Where am I fucking up, and how do I fix it? (self.askMRP)

submitted by jared_irl

Fuck. This will probably be a rant, and although i'm starting to learn MRP, i'm sure i'll use the wrong terminology. I'd apologize, but fuck that.

I've never considered myself a beta.

  • I have a great career and continuously work to advance myself
  • I'm a triathlete who can bench 275 and squat 400 (6'. 210lbs)
  • I aggressively defend my position in life, and my family and kids from all possible threats
  • I'm a firefighter

I've been married 11 years, have 2 toddlers (5 and 2).

Relationship with my wife has dropped to basically roommate status since the birth of our 2nd kid. she put on a bunch of weight during the 2nd pregnancy (some of it is definitely in the right places though...) She had a very rough delivery, and so things were stopped for a couple months, and never really recovered.

Sex has become mostly boring, with just enough small batches of really good to keep me interested.

Most times, it's no foreplay, no real kissing, just some light hand action, then one of us climbs on top. She cums 80% of the time (or fakes it, who the fuck knows...)

There are times where it starts out that way, and gets really good though. Sometimes it's me going caveman, and honestly, sometimes it's her. That's maybe once every 2 months or so, and it's great. I haven't been able to pin down the reasons, or recreate it on demand.

Lately, it's gotten a ton fucking worse. We got rid of the kids for a wedding weekend, and had sex ONCE. One fucking quick boring starfish fuck with 0 kids in the house for 2 and a half days.

To my credit (maybe? fuck, I dunno) , I did turn down shitty starfish sex the next morning. She got out of the shower, and I tried going down on her and was telling her about how I wanted to toss her around, and she told me to get the lube and hurry up because she wanted to make sure we picked the kids up early. I noped the fuck out of there and left her naked in bed. Not sure if that's a good strategy or not.

Of course, I then tried to initiate again, this morning before we got the kids up and got shot down again because - are you ready for it? - she wanted to make sure she had enough time to wash and dry her hair.

Well, fuck me. that broke the camel's back. I've been reading deadbedrooms and mrp for a little while, because something has felt really off, but sex is more consistent, and occasionally better than most people, so I kept denying I fit in. No denying it now.

I don't know where to start. Any immediate red flags? I just started Rational Male on Audible, but I need more help.

  • edits: formatting

[–]johneyapocalypse18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

So you've received two replies.

One from red-sfpplus, a boisterous red piller who essentially says you've forgotten how to be a man and a boyfriend, and suggests that you're the problem, and one from bananapoet who advises talking, flowers, candies, and foot massages, while pointing out how our group of married men consists of virgins who do not hug their wives.

Which method do you think will succeed?

Edit: you may be surprised to learn that many of the men here thought like banana dude for a long time.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret28 points29 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

It's all about respect, boundaries, and the division of roles.

Basics:

  1. you lift, which is good. You are 6'0" and 210. What is your BF like? I'm 6'1" and 200 and hover near 15%. Not great, but my goals are different for me and my marriage at this point.
  2. Read the 101 books: "No More Mister Nice Guy", "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty", and "Married Man Sex Life Primer." Read MMSLP first, in my opinion. It's what I did and it is a great intro book whereas the other books are more specific in delivery.
  3. Where are you on your 12 Levels of Dread?
  4. How often are you jacking off?
  5. How much porn are you consuming?

Others:

  • Are you leading her?
  • Are you trying to be her friend?
  • Are you being an oak, or are you being a shrub?

To your questions and statements:

Sex has become mostly boring, with just enough small batches of really good to keep me interested.

This is your responsibility. Take what you want from her. Direct her actions. Tell her what you are going to do and what she is going to do. Use your muscles to move her.

Most times, it's no foreplay, no real kissing, just some light hand action, then one of us climbs on top. She cums 80% of the time (or fakes it, who the fuck knows...)

Find "Sex God Method" and read it.

I haven't been able to pin down the reasons, or recreate it on demand.

  1. Track her period for a while. You will start to notice her emotions, sexual responses, and spontaneous desire fluctuate with her cycle.
  2. You are mostly the reason. Her desire is based on her reaction of you. If you are her husband, she's going to be meh. If you are being her man then she may be more interested.

We got rid of the kids for a wedding weekend, and had sex ONCE. One fucking quick boring starfish fuck with 0 kids in the house for 2 and a half days.

Again, your fault. Say what you want, take what you want and accept no sex you don't want.

I did turn down shitty starfish sex the next morning... and she told me to get the lube and hurry up because she wanted to make sure we picked the kids up early.

I've done it to good effect. Women know when they are phoning it in though they will never admit it; their attitude will always be whaaattt... I was letting you have sex with me... That's her frame: She's letting you have sex with her. It needs to be your frame, I will have sex with you. When she starfishes, and you "nope" out of there, you are making a play at extending your frame to, I will have sex with you... or I will not. It's a valid response to not having sex you don't want to.

The problem, here, and with you (likely) is that your overall frame isn't strong enough to make her respond correctly, that is, she doesn't respect you enough to see refusing starfish sex as a punishment for her but as you being a whiny baby about it. I hope you carried yourself out with your head high and a smile on your face saying nothing. If you looked like a butthurt bitch, you will be meeting her expectations. If you engaged her verbally after refusing, you are entering her frame; she'd rather have an argument than fuck you... which speaks volumes.

I then tried to initiate again, this morning before we got the kids up and got shot down again because - are you ready for it? - she wanted to make sure she had enough time to wash and dry her hair.

Same as last time. She will always have something more important than you and have something better to do than have sex with you as long as she doesn't respect you.

I've been reading deadbedrooms

Stop it. That place is sad and depressing and is nothing more than the sad, lonely end of the relationshits subreddit.

No denying it now.

Well, DB is qualified for different people in different ways. Nothing for more than a couple of months is a DB. nothing in a month is DB, for me. Just know that she won't see it that way; she allowed you to have sex with her but you left. You see it as starfish sex is no sex and that's how I see it, too. That's how I set my frame it's "Fuck yes", or "no".

What to do:

  1. don't try to talk with her about it. your problems are not yours and she clearly doesn't care, right now. The most you can say is, when refusing starfish sex is, "You're not into it so I have better things to do." And then leave... preferably the house whenever possible. With this statement you are framing her as the one passively refusing and that you have higher standards.

  2. Start doing. If you haven't any hobbies that remove you from the house, get some.

  3. Have a place to go to whenever you want to leave the house. If not, go somewhere and read. The point is to tailor your time and attention to her based on her attention to you.

  4. sex for sex is not an exchange. She wants relationship and commitment and attention and time. You want sex. She gets hers when you get yours. When you don't get yours, remove hers from the table. When she gives you yours, you give her hers: When sex is great, you are the best man ever. When sex doesn't happen, I wonder where he is. This is the marriage version of The Prisoner's Dilemma

  5. The eventual goal is to reframe the dynamics of the marriage to where she now has to deal with what the actual defintion of Monogamy is. this is where dread comes in. You may think it's "mean" or "toxic" but women seem to love it when they are constantly on the edge of their seat with a relationship. When she starts believing that you could get any woman you want (you can never say this directly) she will start finding that she really, really likes you. This is the basis for dread: jealousy. Jealousy provides women with the emotional roller coaster they love... emotional highs (I want him inside me so fucking much) to emotional lows (he's probably fucking that girl from that place we were at at that time.) Or switch the low and high... it doesn't matter as long as she feels those extremes from time to time.

Once you are awesome outside and in and other women notice... you don't have to do anything bu exist. She will provide her own emotional roller coaster simply by thinking about you. Start listening to pop music from any top-selling female performer. Listen to how they describe the boys and men int he songs and think about the emotional roller coaster and dread and you will have a very good understanding of how that plays out in their heads. Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez are popular because they say things women feel about boys they like... she reminds them of the emotional roller coaster.

And women love men who other women want. If no other woman wanted you... then she might think there is something unwantable about you... and then maybe she made a mistake and birthed two kids from an unworthy man.

"I Knew you were Trouble" by Taylor Swift: A song about a boy who provides that roller coaster for her.

"Good for You" by Selena Gomez: A song about a girl who wants to do anything for this guy (the goal for TRP)

"Wildest Dreams" by Taylor Swift: A song about a girl has a boy who she knows will be leaving but she doesn't care because other women want him and she got him at least once.

And one last one. "Blank Space" by Taylor Swift literally about dread. I mean, literally. This guy has other women... and she doesn't care. "boys only want love if it's torture."

most pop music is blue pill nonsense, especially when sung by men pining for some girl, but pop music from women, especially young women, has always been red-pill aware material... just remember that the example guy in song is tall, lean, model-attractive; a Chad. Try to be Chad.

TL;DR:

  • be attractive
  • don't be unattractive
  • Be worthy for other woman and she will follow suit.
  • Lead her to where you want her to be in all things.
  • be interesting
  • don't be always available
  • value your time over hers

Finally:

If you post here again and your post is about your wife, I will petition to have your post locked for commentary. Don't waste our time with bullshit about "she" and "her." We are here to help you. You get one emotional vomit about her... and that's it. The next post needs to be "I" and "me."

[–]InChargeManRed Beret4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Whelp, now we know which Pandora station you listen to....

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

With the right POV... the music can be enlightening.

But I am married with two daughters. I can't avoid this shit.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

But I am married with two daughters. I can't avoid this shit.

Way to bury the lead fucker. :)

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It's a non-issue and not important for the content of the original reply.

do you care about where and when I hear music, or do you care about meaningful content and contribution?

Signal comes with noise. Ignore the noise.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Lighten up Francis. The fact that you had to field any replies to music choices already made the signal to noise ratio objectively circle-jerkey.

My daughter introduced me to a song about creepy friend-zoned boys and what the artist thinks about them.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Army-Training, Sir.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Is that a fact, Jack?

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Razzle dazzle

[–]slackbladerered1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A superb post.

[–]1d2f3g0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I wonder about one part of this advice. I try to use this method of "leaving" or doing something different when she is not in the mood. But I almost always get called upon it. She always knows the real reason and says I'm butthurt. What should I do better?

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Kiss her on the forehead before you go.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm a firefighter

Worry about putting out things on fire, one of those things NOT being her vagina.

That is done by kino.

it's no foreplay, no real kissing, just some light hand action, then one of us climbs on top.

Sounds lame as fuck. You need to prime the pump man.

Go read the sidebar, specifically the book like Pook and SGM.

Learn what DEVI is.

Ninja Edit: I was once I triathlete as well. In my experience that level of cardio does not lend its self to those lifting numbers, which means that you are either a really SLOW triathlete or you are lying about your numbers. Or maybe you are genetically gifted, and that is great.

Just be careful as people will sniff this kind of incongruence out.

[–]2ndalRed Beret11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

One of the first things you need to learn is that communication -- the type that your wife says she wants and needs -- does nothing but exacerbate the problem.

If you stick around long enough you will learn that you can't negotiate desire, and every time you sit down with your wife and do what /u/bananapoet says and express your needs openly and honestly you are effectively telling her to do something she can only force herself do to appease you. This does nothing for her genuine desire for you. Deep down, she doesn't care what you want--unless there's something in it for her.

I like to use the food analogy. Name a food your wife doesn't like. I'll go with radishes. Let's say for some reason you really wanted your wife to love radishes. It's important to you that she loves them. It makes you feel fulfilled and loved. But she hates them. So you sit her down and explain to her in an open and honest way how important radishes are to you and that her hatred of those red beauties cut like a knife through your heart. Sure, she will listen to you, and maybe even make an attempt to like them to make you happy, but you can tell on her face as she tries to force another one down her own throat that she just doesn't like them--never will like them.

That's how your wife is with sex. She used to be into it with you. Hell, sometimes she is still into it with you. But when she is/was into having deep, passionate sex with you, it wasn't because you told her how important it was to you. She genuinely desired you. And you can tell the goddamn difference, can't you?

MRP is all about fostering that genuine desire. But it takes fucking work. A lot of work. But it's worth it.

[–]2ndalRed Beret12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Let me tell you another story /u/jared_irl:

I'll never forget one event that eventually led me here. Frequency of sex had never been the problem for me, it was more about the lack of desire and passion.

Like every other man here, I had tried everything under the sun to get my wife to love me the way I wanted to be loved. I'm not going to list all of those things because you know what I am talking about. Anyway, I tried it all. But one time we were on a road trip, and we were listening to the audiobook of The 5 Love Languages. I don't remember whose idea it was to listen to it--could have been me--but that's beside the point.

Anyway, so we're listening to the 5 Love Languages and we get all the way through it. And I was ecstatic! It got me and my wife talking to each other in a way that we had never been talking before. For some reason this book just really connected with us, and we each spent a lot of time talking through the types of things we need to feel loved. And when I was talking about my stuff (this is pre-MRP, remember) I focused on overt displays of love, touching, sex, cuddling, and other mostly vague and polite ways of saying that fucking is what I wanted and needed the most. And you know what? She was receptive! She didn't realize how important that was to me. She knew I liked sex of course, but this book gave her a new way to understand its importance in me feeling truly loved. I was over the moon. I think even the blood was rushing to my dick in anticipation of having the desire-filled sex life I had always dreamed of with my wife but never having the ability to get there. This book was a miracle! We were really communicating--understanding each other!

For the next week, things were on the up and up. We had sex a couple more times than we normally do, and she did her best to open up to me and love me in the ways I told her. After all, I had spilled my guts and given her the exact recipe for making me feel loved. No guessing! All she had to do was follow it. But it's not going to happen overnight, right? There would probably be a slow build, each week building on the desire of the last, growing stronger and stronger while we got closer and closer. Right?

Wrong. We didn't even make it into the next week before things were back to normal. Actually, they were below normal.

What was going on? I had told her what I needed! She is a caring, loving person who wants me to be happy. Why is she not doing it? I was giving it my all, giving her everything she said she needed from me. What was happening?

She was choking on the goddamn radish, my friend.

You can't force your wife desire you just like you can't force her to love radishes. If your wife isn't a complete bitch she may even want to love radishes to make you happy. But it's not going to happen. You have to be the type of man who deserves that level of desire. You can't be a radish anymore.

And then I found this place, and (after at least a year) things actually did start improving. The weird thing was, like George fucking Castanza, I was doing everything I thought you weren't supposed to do! It went against my very being to think and act this way. Years of tip towing and flower buying and chore playing and romantic dinners and everything else, gone.

[–]ImSteveMcQueen2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Anyway, so we're listening to the 5 Love Languages and we get all the way through it. And I was ecstatic! It got me and my wife talking to each other in a way that we had never been talking before. For some reason this book just really connected with us, and we each spent a lot of time talking through the types of things we need to feel loved. And when I was talking about my stuff (this is pre-MRP, remember) I focused on overt displays of love, touching, sex, cuddling, and other mostly vague and polite ways of saying that fucking is what I wanted and needed the most. And you know what? She was receptive! She didn't realize how important that was to me. She knew I liked sex of course, but this book gave her a new way to understand its importance in me feeling truly loved. I was over the moon. I think even the blood was rushing to my dick in anticipation of having the desire-filled sex life I had always dreamed of with my wife but never having the ability to get there. This book was a miracle! We were really communicating--understanding each other!

I puke a little in my mouth every time someone mentions that book. It implies that if you do just the right thing, just the right way (ie find her love language) that she is going to return the "favor" with sex, which is the biggest covert contract there is.

Thanks for sharing your experience with that book here. Maybe it will open some eyes. Someone should write a post about how Disney that fucking thing is, especially when it is done as a couple.

[–]dcapt460 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah the author presents this lie so smoothly in this book it suckers guys in thinking WOW this is how open honest communication will get me what I want!!!!! Only the joke is on the guy as all it does is dry her up and cause her to disrespect you.

Another similar resource that I thought was great pre RP was "Love & Respect" so long ago I don't remember it but essentially it said 'if you love her and she respects you all will be good'. Problem is the respect has to be earned because you OYS and are the captain.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

occasionally better than most people

That's how the matrix works. It gives you just enough to keep you from waking up. Well, you're awake now.

Not that you need to compare yourself to others, but for reference, unsolicited my wife asked to suck the cum out of me last night before bed and first thing in the morning. After swallowing she thanked me for letting her suck me off and told me how much she loves me as she laid on my chest.

You are in good shape and have a "hot" career (pun intended). There is no barrier to you having this beyond yourself.

Remember, during your journey, if you ever start thinking about how someone or something else is the reason why you aren't living the life you want, knock that shit off. It is you, every time. i.e. don't come on here saying "my wife just isn't a sexual person" or "I don't believe in the morality of MRP" or "I'm too busy right now" or "I don't earn enough money". There are no shortcuts and no excuses.

[–]rocknrollchuck2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sex has become mostly boring, with just enough small batches of really good to keep me interested.

There are times where it starts out that way, and gets really good though. Sometimes it's me going caveman, and honestly, sometimes it's her. That's maybe once every 2 months or so, and it's great. I haven't been able to pin down the reasons, or recreate it on demand.

So it can be really good - sometimes. But "just enough to keep me interested." She knows what she's doing, she's giving you just enough of the good stuff to keep you from leaving.

Most times, it's no foreplay, no real kissing, just some light hand action, then one of us climbs on top. She cums 80% of the time (or fakes it, who the fuck knows...)

That's your fault. You've got to game her throughout the day.

Lately, it's gotten a ton fucking worse. We got rid of the kids for a wedding weekend, and had sex ONCE. One fucking quick boring starfish fuck with 0 kids in the house for 2 and a half days.

To my credit (maybe? fuck, I dunno) , I did turn down shitty starfish sex the next morning.

So the once was (yep) YOUR fault. You should have caveman'd it, but you were butthurt. Also, can you see the covert contract here?

She seems willing to at least have sex with you - that's a plus. If you're as in shape as you say you are, then being physically attractive is not the problem.

I don't know where to start.

The sidebar is that way --------------->

But, here's something to get you started in the right direction:

Then read the sidebar - ALL OF IT. Every time you come to something that you think doesn't apply to you, read it anyway. So many times people skip NMMNG or WISNIFG thinking they don't need those, and yet they are the ones that are the most needed. You can't see this clearly until you learn what you don't already know. So read everything in order, and it will become clear to you.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hate wet combat helmets. Like a passion in me that you have no idea of.

Once when I was in Korea I was walking the trench lines. Yeah...there are trenches there. All over in fact. They have field artillery emplacements in people's back yards. War is ever present on their minds. Make no mistake. Those people are 100% ready for war. Well....we were doing normal training operations.....what was normal there. I was checking on my guys making sure OPs were out. People were on duty. They weren't grabbing assing. That sort of thing. I was pretty wore out already. I was on like 3 hours a sleep a day going on 4 days at least. My uniforms weren't freshly cleaned and honestly I loved nothing more then a clean uniform. Couple days before the old man decided he'd through some night training at us and had another platoon hit us at 0100. Fuck me. I was Hungry. tired. And still a thousand things to do, with days before we would be done.

Across the way a korean farmer had just cleaned out the shitters. Funny that. We had to contract for port johns while in the field and farmers would take up some extra cash to clean them with their shit sucking trucks. Then promptly cross the road and spray it all over their fields. Jesus fucking christ.

Then it starts to rain. I don't mind the rain. Except when wearing a kevlar helmet. That fucking thing gets wet. And I don't mean soaking wet, though it can, I mean a wet that stays for days. I swear to all that is holy that fucking material is a wet magnet. That leather band on the inside must have been designed to absorb as much water as possible and keep it forever. Then when it gets wet it gets cold. Like to your bone cold. Even when in this state I have to put it on. Every day. Wear it all day long like that. It's just a miserable feeling of having that wet, sticky, leather band on my head. Cold and wet. yet I have mission to get to. The schedule says 5 more days but the old man is talking about a terrain walk with all the officers for another 2. While Sergeant Major takes the battalion in. Boy is that going to suck ass.

Some days are like that now. I feel like I have to put that wet kevlar on in the morning. Still have to get up and do what I need to do. I have to put away how I feel, what I think, and just do the job at hand. Most of life is just a daily slog. It's not right. It's not wrong. It just is.

Life sucks sometimes. Sucks more when you're stupid.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

quick question - do you want her to fuck you because you are her husband? Or did you like, I dunno, keep her interested in you sexually?

She can't see your lift numbers and she isnt impressed with your career or what ever. What emotional content do you provide?

[–]2ndalRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also, Rationale Male is good, but I'd recommend starting with something slightly more approachable. I think No More Mr Nice Guy and Married Man Sex Life Primer are excellent starters before jumping into Rollo and the like.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Until you define who and what you want to be, and stop allowing yourself to be coerced into the romanticism of fantasy bullshit, you will grasp for straws

You should not be looking to her to define your sexuality and in no way shape or form should you allow yourself to be defined by her actions or words- Hair dry enough to pick up the kids

A lot here will rant and rant about actions, yes all good and well, but @ some point a serious discussion needs to had on the relationship needs top progress sexually if it is to remain healthy

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For whatever reason, what you are offering doesn't do it for her anymore. Did you change? Did she? I don't care either way - it doesn't matter.

MRP will get you 80% of the way, you gotta figure out the rest on your own. Just remember this is your fault not hers.

I'll put a bet down that you are in "fuck you, fuck you" mode. No sex = pissed off jared = less sex = more pissed off. Negative cycle.

Way out? Lead.

[–]hack3ge1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here's my advice - go into the bathroom, stand in front of the sink and look in the mirror. There is your fucking problem.

As for real advice, you could look like the fucking hulk and you still wouldn't get pussy because as soon as you open your mouth she knows you have her on a pedestal. Take the red pill and put some dread back into that shitty relationship.

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m going to keep it short for you mother fucker. Welcome. You are not lacking physically.

So. You want a silver bullet? Go fuck some strange, or at the very least game the shit out of women so that you know your fucking value. Either of these avenues will lead her 10000 year old firmware to wake the fuck up because her 210 man gorilla is about to or already is burying it elsewhere.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“I've been reading deadbedrooms”..

That’s your problem faggot.

[–]ImSteveMcQueen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I noped the fuck out of there and left her naked in bed. Not sure if that's a good strategy or not.

If you followed that up with being non butt hurt and ignoring her, that was exactly the right thing to do.

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/8an1p8/why_refusing_bad_sex_works/

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

After a quick read through -one word-- logistics!
Logistics is basic PUA shit that still applies even if you're married.

Also lube for women is like Viagra for men.

Unless she has a medical condition that makes her membranes dry then lube means she is not excited or excited yet. At least she has lube on standby to put out for you. If she is not excited, then it means a lack of kino, attraction, or timing/location (logistics).

Logistics means to have a time (ample time) and a place for seduction. Assuming your wife if being truthful, you are cramping her schedule. Sure if you were "chad" she might accommodate it, but your not, so give her time to get wet and enjoy it also.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a pathetic post about how you aren’t getting the sex you want. Lots of information about what your wife isn’t giving you but little accountability for who you think you’re so repulsive or disgusting that she isn’t attracted to you anymore.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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